Driving in Snow Ch. 05

I suddenly found my energy shifting. I was no longer looking into the Akashic record, instead I was living it. Past lives were becoming ordinary memories. The knight lifetime was as real to me, as say, my college years. For a few minutes I was, quite literally, the knight. I knew both his joy and his pain, his triumphs and his tragedies. That lifetime seemed to have many ties to my present life. Events, many of which seemed small and unimportant then seem to be playing an important part in setting up this lifetime.

In that moment I understood why we reincarnate and why not remembering the details of our past lives makes living this lifetime much more bearable. Yet a great deal of our history does appear subconsciously as our fears and our fascinations. At the same time there is awesome beauty in the big picture but that is only visible when you can look at your history with more than a little detachment. It is going through forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness to a place where forgiveness is just not necessary.

I wrote a lot about the knight.

I stayed in stillness for about twenty minutes and then went to find Ann.

We talked about what I had found. She read several of the stories that I felt would be of particular interest to her. I also pointed out six stories that I said seemed vexing to me in that the energies seemed familiar but I could not identify them. In four cases she was able to add additional information to the stories and in three of those cases we were able to then identify the people. One remaining story, about a couple named Suzanne and Pierre was especially vexing. I was getting a very strong read on Suzanne's energy but essentially none on Pierre's. Suzanne seemed very familiar but I didn't have a clue as to who it was.

We moved a copy of the file to Ann's computer and she printed copies for all of us to read. We all got together and discussed it at length. Later, Ann worked to combine my past life notes with her own. It was amazing how the two fit together. This was for me a logical validation of the authenticity of both works. In several cases we had descriptions of interacting lifetimes which was even more validation.

Ann had written a program which would automate the cross references between each story. She went through my file adding the links so her program would add my data to hers.

A Shower with Barb

At one point Barbara asked: "Want a shower?"

I replied: " OK."

We had a nice soapy shower together. I found that I enjoyed playing with her breasts almost as much as she enjoyed my playing with them. We really enjoyed my playing with other places too. She was hot. We were hot. She was passionate. We were passionate but mostly we were joyous. We had fun.

A conversation with Cindy.

At one point Cindy and I were alone in the den. She thanked me for making love with her and she said that: "My experience was so much better than I ever imagined, both at a low level and at a high level. At a low level it was far better than the descriptions I had heard from the other girls in school." She talked about how many of the girls said that they did not have orgasms at all, while she had lots and lots. She giggled and said: "I lost count." She thanked me for my patience concluding: "You had me so ready and were so gentle that it didn't hurt at all."

She kissed me softly.

She also talked about how she wanted to try sex but worried that she would feel cheap or dirty when she actually had sex. She found that she felt really good about herself and really good about us. "When it really happened it wasn't about sex at all, it was somehow different."

She commented: "There were three big surprises however. First, I had expected that my orgasms would be different and better when I had real sex but they really weren't. The sensations were just the same, more intense - yes, but basically just the same. What was different and this was my second surprise was just how important the feeling of sharing, caring and of being cared for would be, or just how intense those feelings could become. That is what made it beautiful. The sharing and the caring is what opened my heart, our hearts in a way that made the psychic connection, that made it magical. I've never thought of love in terms of opening hearts before. I've certainly never heard the girls at school talk in those terms, but that's what it really is."

She continued: "The girls at school talk about love and sex a whole lot but I'm beginning to think that they really don't know what they are talking about. When they talk about love what is really being described is usually either lust, some way of manipulating their boyfriend or being manipulated by him or else some delusional fantasy. It's just so sad, so tragic."

I replied: "They are having the experiences that they need to grow spiritually. Yes, it may be sad, even tragic but it is how they have chosen to learn, to explore. You can love them, act with compassion towards them, try to guide them, even share their pain but remember, you cannot do their work for them."

She then said: "I'm so glad you showed up when you did.

"I wanted you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. You have no idea how horny just being in your presence made me. It only got worse Tuesday night when I realized what was going to be happening with Ann. You weren't doing anything flirtatious or suggestive but even that night I thought you were the sexiest man I'd ever met. Your age didn't matter. Your weight didn't matter. Nothing mattered - I just wanted you, it seemed like lust but it wasn't lust, it was something different. - I just wanted to love you, love you physically, love you every which way. Somehow I knew that you really loved me, loved all of us and it was driving me crazy."

She kissed me again. She moved onto my lap, sitting sideways and we kissed still again. I had one hand on her back and stroked her thigh with the other.

She then said: " I love my sisters very much - They are two amazing people. I am, however, surprised at myself for not being at all jealous of them when you were having sex with them. I thought: 'I should be jealous,' but I wasn't and I wondered why. I thought about what you had said about jealousy but that really only intensified the question. Instead a funny calm settled over me. I was in a wonderful place. I slept well that night. I surprised myself even more by not masturbating that night or Wednesday night either, somehow I didn't need to."

Continuing: "I was, however, jealous of Barbara during breakfast on Wednesday. I wished that I had a negligee like 'always prim and proper' Barbara. It's funny I'd never wanted to show off my body before but I sure did then. That night at dinner, it flared again when I found out she had danced nude for you, but it died immediately when I realized there was a way for me to do it too. And now look at us- I never would have imagined being naked with a man, far less my lover in my own den, with my sisters and even my mom around, and with them happily naked too. This is just too wild."

She concluded: "Coming back to my main point: At a higher level I never expected to find the God inside, that I was the God inside, while having sex. I've been reading mom's books for years but they always seemed, well, theoretical before. They seemed to be full of nice ideas that weren't quite real. Ann understands and she tries to explain it to me but I just wasn't connecting somehow. Barb just knows this stuff at the core of her being. Mom struggles with this stuff. I think she gets part of it but not other parts. Both mom and I would look at Ann and Barb and see that this stuff can work but we weren't really getting it.

"I don't know how to explain this but just after we made love, somehow those books all suddenly made sense, suddenly they were real. For me Tantra worked. Bringing spiritual awareness to love and lovemaking really makes all the difference. Really loving someone, loving mindfully, even if you seemed to have just met, can open intuitive channels in ways that lead not just to great sex or great joy but all the way to true bliss and wisdom comes with the bliss."

I nodded.

She was silent for a bit and then began to giggle. She explained that even her masturbating was much more fun now that she was sharing it with me.

She spread her legs slightly and guided my hand to stroke the inside of her thigh. My caresses stopped just short of heavy petting.

She then explained that some of the girls in school had complained that guys can be rough with oral and anal sex and that she really trusted me to be gentle and was thankful that I had been willing to try them with her.

She paused, then said: "I want to thank you not just for being gentle physically but for being gentle spiritually."

I smiled and responded: "Thank You."

She said: "You do not have to worry about my having 'inappropriate activities,' for our psychic link has turned you into a super chaperone that I cannot hide from, do not want to hide from and do not want to disappoint."

I responded: "Don't let that become a trap. All I want for you is for you to live to the best you know how. That will be enough. If you make me your 'super chaperone,' then you will eventually come to hate me, so please do not go there. I'm happy with the thought of sharing your experiences but let's keep it a sharing, not a judging." She put her arms around me and gave me a really big kiss.

She then said: "If it's OK with you there can be a still another reason for my not having 'inappropriate activities.' I talked with Ann about our psychic link and about what happened when you were with mom. Ann is fine with the idea of you and I staying linked when you're making love with her. Would you be OK with that?"

I responded: "Yes. I think so. We'll have to give it a try. We may not want to always do it that way but we can at least do that sometimes."

Then I pointed out: "Don't limit yourself to me. Somewhere you will meet a nice guy and I want you to be open to that possibility. Allow him to find you. Be open to love. Allow yourself to create love in your life."

She kissed me again.

I caressed her inner lips. She sighed happily.

Planning an experiment.

Still later Ann, Barb, Cindy and I were sitting on the den sofa. We were discussing the psychic experiences that I shared with each of them. I commented that it seemed that I was exploring the interface between knowledge and wisdom with Ann, direct connection to wisdom with Barb and sensation and possibly innocence as well as Tantra with Cindy.

At one point I found myself musing about possibilities only to find the girls chorusing: "Yes." We decided that I would sleep with Barb that night after twenty strokes with Ann. Likewise Cindy and I would keep our psychic link open.

The Plow

The snow plow finally came through. I noted that the snow was slowly melting. Ann got dressed and went out and used the tractor to plow out the driveway. I watched her do it with very mixed emotions.

Saturday dinner.

We had hot open roast beef sandwiches using some of the left over roast beef. Dinner was delicious.

Ann started the conversation by asking: "Mom, yesterday you said that dad liked sex four ways. What were they?"

Mary answered: "In my pussy, in my mouth, in my ass and between my tits."

This launched a discussion of oral and anal sex.

Finally that conversation wound down. As it was winding down Ann whispered in my ear: "I'm yours, any and every way you want me."

I smiled and kissed her cheek.

Our conversation wandered all over the place, going from a discussion of how spiritual awareness enhances sex to a discussion of sexual positions.

I thought: 'We're going from the sublime to the ridiculous,' but Cindy really wanted to explore this topic. Apparently this was a common subject among the girls at school.

Mary explained that John either used the missionary position or doggy style but seemed to prefer doggy style, often holding her by her hair. She felt that this was a dominance issue. She chuckled and said that she and Jack usually had sex in a car and then it was sort of a question of finding positions that would work. She smiled and said: "Besides we were just horny."

We talked about this for a while before returning to the main topic.

I was asked about my preferences and I explained that I was always very slow to orgasm such that comfort for both myself and my partner was always important which tended to rule out many of the more, shall we say, exotic positions. That said, I liked a variety but if I had to choose a favorite it would be the astride position. They asked why and I answered: "This position allows very strong clitoral contact which is really pleasing to my partner and my partner's pleasure is a very important part of my pleasure. Also she then has control of the pace and the intensity of that contact." That netted me a soft kiss from Mary.

I continued: "Don't let me sound totally altruistic here because I find watching my partner to be very enjoyable. The touching sensation is also very important to me - before and after as well as during. I receive a great deal of pleasure touching my partner. Hopefully I'm creating pleasure at the same time. Thus, there's a lot to be said for variety here. For example: It's fun to switch back and forth between astride and missionary by rolling over, while staying inserted."

We had finished dinner by this time, so we loaded the dishwasher and moved the conversation to the living room.

We continued discussing various positions and I explained that I thought the missionary position often gets a bad rap since it is a good position to kiss your partner, features lots of bodily contact and allows good motion. I said that I once tried a sitting position, which was even better for kissing, but it was not good because it really didn't allow much motion. The girls laughed.

I pointed out: "There is actually a great deal of variation in the basic 'missionary position' since the girl can position her legs differently so as to provide a wide variation in the angle of entry. This changes the sensations markedly. She can go from having her legs close together, to wide apart, to wrapped around her partners hips, to under his shoulders, all the way, if she is limber enough, to having her legs under her own shoulders."

Cindy lay down on the floor and brought her legs up until they were under her arms and said: "Like this?"

I replied: "Exactly."

I'd had an erection through much of this conversation but looking at Cindy I was now even harder.

She grinned. Then got back up.

Ann asked about doggy style.

I said that the rear entry positions in general allow the man great hand access to the girls breasts, and allow deep penetration, but usually don't make much, if any, contact with the clitoris. The man can however, reach around and stimulate it with his fingers. I noted that I for one really enjoyed the feel of a girl's ass against my hips, even though I missed looking at my partner's face. Mirrors can be helpful here. I also pointed out that it is supposed to be the best position for getting a girl pregnant since the uterus points down such that gravity helps the semen flow.

I mentioned another class of positions where the girl lies on her back on a bed or table with her legs up or out in such a way that the man can enter her while standing or kneeling next to the bed or whatever.

Barbara asked about other unusual positions.

I responded that: "There were many but two come to mind. The first is from ancient Japan and has apparatus. A basket is hung from a rafter by a pulley. The man is on his back under it. The basket has no bottom and the girl sits in the basket with her behind sticking out. A servant operates the pulley and raises and lowers the girl on the man's penis. I expect she could also be spun around."

Ann had a mischievous grin on her face as she asked: "Is that the origin of the term 'screwing?'"

We all laughed until our sides ached.

After we stopped laughing I continued: "The other one, I read about in college and it has somehow stuck with me. It's a standing position where the girl has one foot on the ground and her other foot on the man's shoulder."

Cindy stood, held out her hand and said: "Please get up."

I did and she came to me and lifted one leg to my shoulder. She reached down and guided me in. Her vagina was fully lubricated. She then wrapped one arm around my neck and kissed me. I pushed in deep and started stroking. I slipped out and had to reinsert myself. Then I held her hips and was able to control our motions much better. It was an interesting way to do it.

The rest of the Wells family looked on, quite surprised.

We stopped well short of orgasm and sat down again.

We sat in stunned silence for a moment. I was in disbelief as much as any of them. Cindy just beamed.

Mary got up and said: "It's time to check the weather forecast." She walked into the den. Barbara and Cindy followed.

Ann looked me in the eye and asked: "My beloved, what happened, what upset you?"

I replied: "The energy was all wrong. I wasn't making love with her, I was just screwing her. I could read her enough to know that she was just trying to please me. She was doing something she knew I wanted to try. She was being her innocent playful self, but I wasn't being innocent and I sensed that you, your mother and Barbara knew it. I don't know if it was having an audience that did it, the total lack of foreplay or if it was just something about the dynamic. In any event I feel ashamed of myself."

She took my head in her hands and kissed me gently. Then she said: "It's OK to be human. You are still the most loving man I've ever met."

I smiled wanly.

She said: "Come on. Let's grab a shower."

A Shower with Ann

Nude hugs tend to be very powerful. Soapy nude hugs can be even more powerful, especially when they become both melding and erotic. Ann can be pure love. She knows how to heal my heart.

More Photography

Cindy started another fire in the fireplace. When it was burning well I went and got my camera. I took a long series of pictures using just firelight or a combination of firelight and candlelight. Beautiful girls + beautiful lighting = beautiful photographs, both sensual and romantic.

Conducting the experiment.

That night Ann and I did in fact have our 'twenty strokes' which did indeed create a telepathic bond.

I went into Barbara's room and she was all ready for me. I lay back with two pillows beneath my head. She mounted me in an astride position allowing me to look into her eyes. The pillows held my head at the perfect angle with no strain on my neck muscles. As we made love her eyes became the liquid fire again. Barbara was doing amazing things with her hips, almost doing a belly dance with me inside. Somehow that didn't matter, the merging mattered. I was aware of Ann, Cindy and Barbara in the merging. The experience was really indescribable other than to say incredibly loving, and incredibly blissful.

There was love flow this time too, seemingly going to the same group of people as before. Now, however I was aware that they all were profoundly connected at a very high level. This connection predated this lifetime. The mystery girl was prominent but remained a mystery.

When we finished Ann and Cindy came in and we all hugged for a long while.

Still later Barbara said: "Ann, Cindy and I have always been close, but now we are closer than I ever imagined would be possible." Both Ann and Cindy smiled and nodded.

I felt a telepathic message from Ann expressing even greater love for me. I would not have believed that that was possible.