Dwelling in Desire Ch. 10

Notes from the author:

Hello my lovelies. I want to thank all of you for your patience and kind comments so far in this series. This chapter is the turning point I have been working towards, similar to Chapter 14 of See Through Me in its difficulty to write. I've been struggling for weeks to find some momentum, and think I finally found it. This segment may be a little turbulent as there are both time shifts and narrator shifts at a higher than normal frequency. I am just as eager as you all to...progress things, and that is the biggest reason for this. Hopefully it isn't too rushed. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts. XOXO

--J

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Chapter 10

"Ladies and gentlemen we are now seating first class passengers. Please proceed to gate twenty-three with your boarding passes ready."

The past three weeks had flown, and I prayed the next two days would be just as swift. I'd kept rigidly on the opposite side of our travel party since early this morning. The farthest from Bethany I could manage without being blatantly obvious. Luckily, she and Kate were deep in discussion through most of it.

"Joe, I don't suppose you accidentally booked me a seat near Bethany?" I grumbled as we got in line. I knew my seat was next to Joe, but I didn't know if Bethany was in close proximity, and it had me grinding my teeth.

"Please Curt, my sadistic energy is all but exhausted on Kate. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll get plenty of opportunities this weekend," Joe chuckled.

"Thanks a lot for that mental image Joe. The last thing I need right now is a boner for my best friend's fucking wife," I whispered, pissed at Joe's cocky grin.

"You'd prefer a boner for her best friend?"

"By far. But please don't try anything Joe. I'm begging you."

"You'll be glad to know, Curt, that I plan on sleeping through this flight. Had a tumble too many with Kate last night, and I'm exhausted."

"Christ," I muttered in annoyance at the new mental image.

But despite its pissing me off, Joe's comment was a fruitful one. Sleep. I would sleep through the flight.

As we inched towards the entrance to the plane, I could hear Bethany up ahead, laughing and chatting with Kate. Her laugh was so fucking cute. God help me but there was no other way to describe it. Cute. Cute. Cute. Fuck.

Why couldn't she have an obnoxious Roseanne Barr type laugh? Something to make her less desirable. Less feminine. Less pant tightening.

Because I could not catch a fucking break. God would have none of it.

Just chill out, for fuck's sake.

"Thank you sir, you're in B4 just over there," the flight attendant directed.

Joe was in the window seat, immediately next to me, and Kate and Bethany were in the row just in front of us. Margot and Randall sat across the aisle from me, and Kate's parents were across from her.

Kate's mom and dad were nice, I supposed. A bit distant. Of course the circumstances were understandably awkward. Their daughter pregnant and hurrying to the altar as a result, or so it seemed.

They'd regarded Joe and me rather icily, and who could blame them? Had Kate been my daughter, I would have immediately objected to her marrying someone old enough to be her father. Someone who hadn't even bothered to ask for her hand. Oh yes, and the knocking her up thing. Great way to start a relationship with the in-laws. I didn't envy Joe the awkwardness during his brief interactions with Kate's parents, but somehow he kept it together.

I knew that Joe and Kate's reasons for getting hitched were not purely based on the pregnancy. They loved each other, it was clear. And I was fucking jealous as hell.

Joe's words passed through my mind.

To look in a woman's eyes and know she is only for you, that she adores you and wants you more than anything, would do anything for you, Curt, there is nothing like it.

I wanted it so fucking badly my mouth watered.

Suddenly Joe broke my train of thought with his light snore. He was already long gone and the flight attendant had just begun with the safety protocol. After smirking at his lucky pompous ass, I followed suit.

---

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey," came a soft feminine voice, accompanied by a familiar giggle.

I grudgingly opened my eyes to discover Kate and Bethany perched over their seats and staring down at us. It was an odd combination of shock and arousal that stirred in me, waking up to the two beautifully amused female faces. Refusing to wait for things to get more awkward, I punched Joe in the arm to knock him out of his slumber.

"Shit! What the hell?"

Joe was not a morning person. At least not when I punched him.

"Wake up, ass-wipe. We've landed," I declared.

"I love the pet names men give each other," Kate rolled her eyes as Bethany grinned in amusement.

"Ha, don't even get me started!" Margot cackled. "I gotta deal with these putzes at their worst all week!"

It was so weird to hear Margot laugh. Apparently not even she was immune to the uncharacteristic love in the air.

"Okay Donovan, move your ass so we can get off this plane," Joe grumbled.

"I like the plane Joe," I teased. "These seats are divine, don't you think? Besides, I believe Kate said something about eggs and bakey, and I'm starved."

"Eggs and bakey will come later," Kate smiled.

"I'll hold you to that Kate," I winked. "I want my bakey."

"And if I don't make good?" Kate whispered with a mischievous grin.

"Then your husband will punish you," Joe interjected in a low voice, obviously put out by his fiancé's flirtatiousness.

"Husband? What husband?" Kate laughed in challenge.

Bethany's face turned rosy. She'd been quiet this entire time, and assuming she hadn't already been apprised of Joe and Kate's mutual kinks, she was fast becoming aware.

"Your husband to be," Joe growled. "Now move your ass Curt! The sooner I can get Kate alone the better."

"Uughhh, TMI you guys," Bethany rolled her eyes, but her flushed cheeks betrayed her.

Getting up and shifting towards the exit behind Margot and Randall, I called back to Kate, "I'll expect that bakey after we get settled at the hotel."

Young female giggles.

---

Thank Christ for fucking baseball.

It gave us an excuse to hide away from the women. Bethany, Kate, Margot, Kate's mom, Joe's sister-in-law, and Joe's mom were all in the kitchen laughing and gossiping. At least as far as I could tell. Probably making regular jokes at our expense. But hell, they could make all the jokes they wanted. As long as I didn't need to see or be near Bethany.

Speak of the fucking devil.

Bethany sauntered in, and I couldn't help but look at her. Especially when she fucking bent over. She gracefully yet seductively set an offering of chips and dip out on the coffee table, and quietly returned to the kitchen. I caught a couple of the guys staring at her ass as she left, and fought against the fiery possessiveness that rushed through me.

She'd made no eye contact with me. None. No chatter, no smile, no nothing. Just chips, and gone.

Was it pure ego that made me think she was purposely avoiding me? Probably. Hell, I was avoiding her. It made enough sense that she would be battling similar demons as I. She felt the same.

I was ripped out of my train of thought by Joe's grunt as he rose from the couch.

"Another?" Joe prompted, nodding towards my finished Coke.

"Yeah, sure," I grunted, though I really couldn't have cared less what he put in front of me. Not unless it was a hell of a lot stronger.

Joe took additional drink requests and then disappeared to the kitchen.

"Say, we really appreciate you guys choosing to come out to our area for the wedding," mused Joe's father Dean. "It's nice that the hotel is only a twenty minute drive from our house."

"No sweat Dean," I smiled. "Kate apparently fell in love with the lake view and Joe would never refuse her a thing."

"Well that's encouraging at least," grumbled Mike, Kate's father. He was a tall, silent, ominous looking man, and I could sense his protectiveness of his little girl.

"Rest assured Mike, Joe will see to her every need. Without fail," I looked him in the eye, leveling with him.

He just redirected his attention to the game, which suited me just fine.

I wanted to defend Joe, but I definitely wasn't one for long speeches.

Joe returned with drinks, and we all returned to our mutual task of the moment. The one activity that brought men together better than anything else.

Avoiding the women.

---

"Hurry up damn it Curt!" Joe rammed on the door to my hotel room. "The rehearsal is in ten fucking minutes and you'd better fucking be there."

I was being a pussy. Casting an undeserved glare at Jerry Seinfeld, I grudgingly rolled off the bed. I'd been ready to retire after the game that afternoon, eager to escape the agony of mundane chitchat, when I'd learned of the rehearsal and subsequent "rehearsal dinner" at six pm. Christ.

I shoved into my shoes and buttoned my shirt, but stubbornly skipped the tie.

Steeling myself for another couple hours of misery, I exited the safe haven of my hotel room and headed down the hall to the lobby.

---

One hour later...

As I sat staring across the table at Bethany, I knew Joe had set this up. And Kate had likely had a hand in it. I had to look. There was virtually nowhere else to look.

A couple of times, her eyes met mine, and just as quickly averted. It was fucking miserable, as I had expected, and I struggled to keep my simmering rage in check.

Bethany had done nothing wrong. She deserved anything but the negative energy I was carrying in spades. I was a loose cannon, and I needed to get away.

But no mother fucking dice.

Christ how I wanted a drink.

---

Oh God, he would not stop staring. And the thing was, I liked it. But it was strange. As much as I wanted to reciprocate, I was terrified by the look on his face. He looked hungry again, like he wanted to...hurt me. Or something. I knew he would never do anything to hurt me. But the look in his eyes. It was utterly carnivorous.

Had I done something? Said something?

The last thing I'd said to him was that we needed to call a truce. Oh...

Was that what had him all bent out of shape? That I had more or less rejected him? I hadn't thought of it as rejection at the time. More like a confession that I felt the same, but couldn't act upon it. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings. I wanted to preserve our professional relationship.

Well at least I wasn't the only one suffering. My stomach had been in knots trying to keep my distance from him and avoid eye contact. It was hard this evening especially, being forced to be in close proximity, and not let on that there was this looming tension between us. The killer was when he'd had to walk me down the aisle at the rehearsal. It was so creepy. So awkward.

But beneath my shirt, my nipples had been hard. All. Day. Long. I wanted to believe it was the breeze from the lake. But I knew it was him. He kept me on edge. In a constant state of arousal.

What would it be like, to be with him? Would it really be so bad? Was I making too much of this? Should I just agree to...whatever it was he wanted? Should I offer myself to him?

All these questions were now taking over my mind, and I was nearing my breaking point. Perhaps Kate was right. Maybe it was time to throw in the freaking towel. There were definitely worse ways to go.

I chanced a look up at him. And this time I held his gaze for a few moments. I wanted him to know. I wanted him to see how much I wanted him. How I was yearning.

And as I fought to keep my eyes on his, I saw them turn softer. The beast was gone, and was suddenly replaced by neutrality...and then understanding. And then, sadness.

He'd always been so dominant. So...together. Even when he laughed. He always exuded confidence. The uncharacteristic look on his face was striking. It sent chills through me, and I had to look away.

---

We'd just finished an amazing gourmet apple cobbler courtesy of the hotel's apparently award winning chef, and I was instantly regretting it. I had to fit into that dress tomorrow, and my belly was so full right now it was hard to be optimistic.

Everyone was rising from their seats, saying their hurried goodbyes, which thankfully I didn't have to partake in. Awkwardness was already thick in the air, what with the tension between me and Curt. Who was suddenly nowhere in sight.

I got up and looked this way and that, curious as to where he'd gone. I hated that I cared, that I'd noticed at all. I saw a pair of broad shoulders in a dark jacket disappear through the French doors, and immediately went after them.

What was I doing?

Let's say you do catch him Beth...what will you say? What is there to say? Weren't you the one who insisted upon this horrible truce? He's leaving you alone. Why are you chasing him?

I made it through the French doors, and saw him now halfway down the hall to his room. I slowed my pace, and tried to regulate my breathing, hoping not to give myself away.

Say something Beth!

No, fucking walk away Beth!

"I want to make a pact with you," I called to him as loudly as I dared.

Curt froze in place.

His broad shoulders were so amazing. So sexy in that dark sport coat. He was so fucking sexy! His hair was so...bad boyish. His neck, back, and arms so strong and dominant. And that was just his back.

I paled as he slowly turned towards me and leveled me with his stare.

"I'm not sure I care much for pacts," he stated plainly.

I swallowed. I deserved that. He was right.

"I understand Curt. I'm sorry. But this is about Joe and Kate," I explained.

"Is it?" he smirked.

"Yes," I lied. "We have to promise that tomorrow will be about Joe and Kate only. We can't draw attention. If you stare at me the way you have been, if you make me feel the way you have been, if I blush and stammer and falter, we might distract from those who really matter. It is their day tomorrow, and we have to keep up appearances. We have to make a pact to keep things...normal."

"And how have I made you feel?" Curt asked, zeroing in on that small but critical flaw in my improvised speech.

"You know how I feel," I frowned. "You know."

He stepped towards me, and I don't know why, or how, but I did the same. Until we were at an arm's distance.

"I'll agree to your terms, Bethany. For Joe and Kate," he said firmly.

I swallowed as he held out his hand. A handshake. To seal the deal.

I didn't want to shake his hand. It was physical contact. I couldn't touch him at all of my own will, or God knew what would happen. But I'd asked him to make a pact, and he'd done the responsible thing. The least I could do was give him the courtesy of a handshake.

Shoving aside my insecurities, I slowly joined palms with him.

Suddenly Curt pulled me off balance, and I gasped as I stumbled closer to him. Dangerously close.

I very nearly fainted when I felt his warm lips make contact with my hand.

His soft, hot, tender lips were thorough against my skin. It was a raw, sexual interpretation of the traditional chivalrous gesture.

My jaw dropped from the shock of it, especially when he captured my gaze, his lips still affixed to my hand. It was that look. That carnal look. The beast.

The silence stretched for what felt like minutes before he finally released me.

"This is the last time Bethany," he warned softly. "The last pact."

With that, he turned and proceeded to his room, leaving me speechless, fruitless, and hopeless as I stood there in the stuffy hallway.

---

The next day...

"Beth, is anything wrong?" Kate asked as she helped me with my hair.

"Everything's fine Kate! For goodness sake stop fussing," I admonished her.

"I'm just concerned sweetie," she explained as she fastened the flower in my hair with a pin. "You've been so quiet."

"Kate, this is your day. Yours. I won't discuss anything but how breathtaking you look, and how you are going to knock Joe's socks off!" I crossed my arms and smirked at her.

"Fine," she laughed. "But when this wedding is over missy, I am going to drag it out of you if I have to string you up a tree!"

"Deal," I answered noncommittally.

"Here," she shoved a glass into my hand. "Have some mimosa. It'll relax you."

"And make me have to pee," I teased. But I indulged her and took a couple sips. It was pretty good, I had to admit.

The wedding coordinator had had the hotel staff bring in some crackers and fruit, along with bottled water, and apparently mimosa. They were extremely hospitable and really had the wedding routine down to a science. They'd even supplied a robe so Kate wouldn't stain her dress while she had a snack.

"Thanks for helping me find this place Beth," Kate mused. "I am completely in love with the views, and the staff has been amazing. Plus the spa! That massage was so relaxing!"

"It was nothing Kate. I love you to bits, you know that."

"And also..." she paused. "Thanks for not judging me. Joe and I, we have a different relationship than most. And what with the pregnancy and all...just, thank you for not judging me."

"You're in love Kate," I stated. "Anybody with eyeballs can see that. Who am I to object? I wouldn't take it from you for anything in the world Kate. I love you."

With that, she immediately pulled me into a hug.

"Don't cry now," I laughed. "That makeup artist cost bookoo bucks. Save it for the altar."

"And you'd better save sweet words like that for your toast!" Kate admonished, sniffing.

"Aww jeez, I have to make a toast?" I teased.

"Umm yeah?? Maid of honor?" Kate slapped me on the arm.

"Maybe the wedding coordinator can cook something up for me. She seems to have everything else accounted for," I joked.

In truth, I had not prepared a toast. But I tended to be decent enough at speeches on the fly. Speech was the only subject in school other than art that I seemed to have any flair for. I'd just keep it simple. It didn't take much to make Kate cry.

"Okay ladies, we're just about ready!" called Shelly the wedding coordinator.

"Here we go!" I squeezed Kate's hand excitedly as she grinned.

---

One hour later...

The wedding had gone off without a hitch, and while it was strenuous to say the least, I'd managed not to gawk at Bethany the whole time. I'd taken in a good eyeful when we were flung together to proceed down the aisle to await Joe and Kate, but after that, I'd grudgingly kept it to a minimum.

What really caught my eye was the huge flower in her hair. It suited her. It suited her sweetness. Her innocence. Plus the pink dress looked like it had been crafted especially for her. An excellent choice. Not only did the shade compliment her sun kissed complexion, but the bodice hugged her in just the right way. The only thing I didn't like about it was that every man in the room had equal enjoyment of it.

Kate looked enchanting as well. Her gown was long and flowy, in a soft ivory. Not overly formal looking, but exquisite nonetheless. Her hair was down, and thankfully the lakeside breeze was moving in our favor.

The vows were brief, for which I was infinitely grateful, after which time I escorted Bethany quickly and dutifully back to the bridal suite to do whatever. I did what the coordinator told me. And as soon as I was given the all clear, I made my way over to the garden where the band was getting set up and the bartenders were standing at the ready.

"Any special requests?" the guy at the lead mike called out to me.

"Requests? Don't you have a routine?" I chuckled.

"More or less, but sometimes we'll switch it up it depending on the crowd, the age range, the party size, etcetera. Plus, this was practically a spur of the moment gig for us. Normally we book a few months out."