Each & Every Corner Ch. 04: Awake

Eventually she'd been reduced to convincing someone walking down the street that they should help her kick down a door where her hammering had met with no answer. And then at the end of it all had been the terrible reward of finding him, ripe and rotten, still there and waiting for her but at the same time already long gone. She could still remember the rising hum and the featherlight touch of a thousand flies on her face as the door had swung back. The gradual sickening realisation of what they'd been standing on, what they'd been stepping in, who they'd been feeding on. The coroner had said she'd missed him by a fortnight at least.

When she had finished she surprised herself by crying again, long painful tearing gasps stripping her throat raw like they hadn't since the early days. It had felt back then as if she couldn't ever let go in spite of her tears but it was different now. Now it was more as if she was finally accepting that he was gone and was saying her goodbye. Ray didn't move from her side until it had passed, sitting silently with her, offering nothing but providing everything.

It was only a little after three when they dropped off the car and walked back to the flat. Sarah had arrived home some time before, having finished with whatever mysterious task had taken her into town on a Saturday.

"Interview for a job I didn't want," she said later.

They had both been curious, and pressed her for more detail, but she'd steadfastly refused to be drawn.

*****

Sarah had sat behind the plain table in the interview room and waited. The wall to her left was the traditional mirrored glass though she doubted there would be anyone sitting behind it today. There is an indicator in the stance of a person who knows they are being watched and none of the changing occupants of the table's far side had displayed that particular quality for a long time now. The camera up in the far corner of the room was still there of course, but recording isn't the same as observation, people behave differently.

Something had changed since last time she was here though. She thought they might have redecorated but she couldn't be sure. The walls and floor a different colour maybe, but no smell of new paint so that seemed unlikely. Maybe just different furniture, or even a different light bulb. She couldn't figure it out and she didn't much care. That in itself might come in handy though, it was always good to have something to not care too much about.

The door on the far side of the room opened and admitted a man she had never seen before. She looked him over. The poor thing had missed his breakfast, and he was late for his lunch as well. They always found ways to give her interviewers a nasty day before they were sent in to talk to her. She suspected it was supposed to target the talent, encourage her to build a bond, make her more receptive to what he had to say. It didn't work of course, if she were that unguarded she would never make it through her commute in the morning. She passed a hundred people every day on the tube with far bigger issues than a couple of skipped meals.

This one had some other interesting stuff going on under the hood though. Looked like physical abuse, as a child, by a blood relative. Heading for divorce within the year mainly due to the resulting anger control issues, although he probably didn't know that was coming yet. Likely to turn to sexual assault within a couple of years after that, which would also be a blood relative, these things echo down the generations. She could fix that if she were given enough time. She wouldn't be though, he was more valuable to his masters broken.

It struck her that they were getting cleverer after all - the bait was undeniably getting more sophisticated. Still not even close though, there were more than enough equally broken people wandering the world for her to have developed countermeasures against their attraction long ago.

The lure which might have sufficed to entice her out and compelled her to act would remain forever beyond their reach. It wasn't as if they could call on a Koresh, or a Manson, or a Ceausescu, one of those superpredators to come down to this little cell south of the river to parade in front of her. And if they were to stumble on one by chance their organisation would have some serious existential problems to deal with. But she had learnt to spot the wash those big fish left rippling through the collective unconscious around her as they passed by, and there was no evidence of that kind of interference here today.

He sat. The chair scraping noisily against the glossy floor with its baby blue paint the base of one metal leg caught briefly against the grating set into the concrete as he pulled it in. He spent a while shuffling his papers around, all theatrical-like. It could be a new part of the training or just some rubbish he'd decided to try on his own to weave an illusion of control. He was sweating though, in the cool air, and his hands were shaking slightly, so he was better informed than some of them. Finally he looked up and met her eye.

"Mrs Tulley," he said. "We were hoping you might have reconsidered our offer."

It was always the same. Whoever was in the firing line this time around would throw in a few inaccuracies to try to get her talking. Usually she'd either just let them go or simply correct them, according to whim. Then she'd wait until the talking stopped and they were done again until the next time around. Not today though, time to confound some lazy expectations for a change, and she had his measure now.

He was still speaking, running through the next part of his patter - the outline of the position they would like her to take up. She'd be working in this very same building apparently, maybe in this very same room, but sitting on the other side of the table. She spoke over him, so quietly that it would later transpire the microphone on the CCTV camera hadn't even picked it up, he heard though-

"Hold your tongue."

...and he lost control of his bladder and wet himself.

"You know my name," she said. Breaking the brittle silence with a more ordinary conversational tone. "There is no problem with your records. So use it."

His face had paled, highlighting the dark rings around his eyes, making him look cadaverous. Astonishingly he didn't break from the interview to attend to or acknowledge the urine soaking through his trousers and pooling on the floor below. The discipline was impressive in a way she supposed, revolting in another of course.

"Ms Brooks then," he went on.

Sarah looked at him curiously, cocking her head slightly, like a heron adjusting its gaze to perfect its targeting. Had she misread him, was he far further down the path to self destruction than she had thought. No it was simpler than that, he just didn't understand, so she supposed he deserved another chance.

"If I have to ask you to correct yourself again they'll be trying to put your mind back together for the next decade, and I guarantee that they will never succeed."

Her voice this time forbade him disbelief. He knew with absolute certainty that what she was saying was true.

"Sorry," he said smiling sheepishly. "I'm new here, just following the script."

There were three more lies right there, four if you counted the smile. She weighed up for a moment whether they were grounds for delivering on her threat, but on balance they weren't personal so she decided to let them slide.

"Mrs Brooks-Turner it is then. Congratulations by the way, to you and to the other Mrs Brooks-Turner as well of course. How was the wedding?"

She stared back at him across the table. The sharp scent of his piss and the more insidious miasma of his subconscious homophobia both hung heavy in the air.

"I don't want you to mention her again. Look can we just get this over with please. I have things to do, and you need changing."

He twitched. Infantilising him like that took him back to places he had taught himself not to remember and played a nasty little tune at the back of his thoughts. It was yet another glimpse of the iron fist behind the velvet voice.

"Just give me your answer and I'll write it down," he said wearily. "Then you can go. The door isn't locked and I'm sure you know the way by now. I won't walk you out if you don't mind."

So she said her latest no, and he wrote it down in the empty box on the sheet of paper below the long column of older no's. He signed and dated it and they were done for another six months.

"See you in the spring," she said, as she stood to leave.

"Christ I hope not," he answered, and she appreciated the candour.

"Don't rape your daughter," she called back to him as she headed for the door.

It wasn't much of a gift, and he didn't deserve it, but it wasn't for him of course. Hopefully he'd still remember it when the time came. It might at least hold him back for a crucial moment while the poor girl made a run for it.

*****

As soon as they were through the front door Lizzie had gone straight to the living room and to Sarah. She pulled her in fiercely close, laying her head onto her shoulder and holding her there for a very long time. Sarah looked over at Ray leaning in the doorway and raised an inquisitive eyebrow while she stroked one hand up and down Lizzie's back.

"What on earth have you done to poor Elizabeth," she asked.

"It's a secret," said Lizzie, her voice slightly muffled. "We have a secret now, if that is ok."

"That's fine," said Sarah. "My two favourite ladies can have their secrets together if they want."

*****

Later in bed though, when she had Ray alone, Sarah was no longer in the mood to let this pass.

"You should just tell me," she insisted, not for the first nor even the third time.

"That," said Ray, "would be neither fair nor sensible. Lizzie needs to be able to trust us, and we, in this current example you, need to be able to trust her."

"This is not a trust issue for me. I do trust her, I trust both of you. I just happen to be extremely curious, that's all."

"But it might turn into a trust issue for her. You know I'm right Sarah."

"Yes damn you, I do." This didn't stop her from trying a different tack though.

"I've got a Lizzie secret as well, and even she doesn't know my one."

"Good," Ray said. "I'm very happy for you. Shall we go to sleep now."

"I'll tell you what it is," Sarah said. "And you don't have to tell me yours."

Ray rolled over toward her in the dark. "Ok, go on then."

"I let her feel me up the other week. It was in the afternoon when she was taking care of me and she was asleep at the time, but very handsy. We had all our clothes on too, well ok I did unhook my bra to make it a bit easier for her."

"Tell me the rest." Ray murmured.

"That's it really, she was spooned up behind me so she just got her hand up inside my blouse and stroked my tits and played with my nipples for a while. It was all she could really do. She tried to move her hand down, but I didn't want that, not without you there so I stopped her. I really liked it though, she was very gentle, and it was sweet, sort of innocent. I was going to tell her all about it when she woke up, but I dropped a hint and she was mortified, so ended up leaving it and letting her think it had just been a quick wandering hand."

"I'm so jealous," said Ray, and Sarah froze in panic, fearing that maybe everything wasn't going to be ok after all.

But Ray understood and kissed her reassuringly, "Not that way silly, only jealous that you had that with her first."

"You can't complain," said Sarah. "You two have your cuddles every day and they are definitely getting pretty hot recently. And we both know very well why she keeps on running off to her room afterwards too."

"Fuck," said Ray, "I am so turned on right now."

"Oh good," Sarah whispered, directly into Ray's ear. The soft warm tickle of breath sending shivers through her body. "Would you like me to pretend that it went further for you love. That she sucked on my tits while I fingered her. I could tell you that maybe if we're lucky someday you'll get to hold her in your arms while I use my mouth on her until she comes."

Ray keened and lay back in the dark, reaching down between her own legs. Sarah had been waiting for this though and quickly grabbed her wrist.

"I can look after that for you so much better than you can yourself, you know this to be true. And I will. But perhaps in return for... ...a secret."

Ray looked at her in astonished comprehension, "You utterly devious, evil woman."

"Only kidding," said Sarah, and kissed her on the nose. "You're right, you two should keep whatever it is to yourselves; I'll stop pestering you about it now."

And sniggering to herself she bounced triumphantly off down the bed to start making good on her promise.