Earth Girls are Overrated Ch. 01

I took another sip of my drink, and traced a finger over the brim of the cup. I turned my head to the window, and saw Wendy's Toyota drive off, permanently. The house felt empty without her, but I'm not sure if I like it better this way. She was my girlfriend of two years, and one tearful fight (on her end, at least) after another, she decided she'd had enough and left.

I suddenly realized I had drained my sizable glass, so I stood up and poured myself another bourbon. I took a long gulp, my throat burning. Wendy was a fitness nut, and refused to drink anything besides water or an appetite-curving shake. I'd definitely say she was hot, tall, and bone thin. She was flat chested, but I didn't mind. Anyways, it's hard not to miss her when I'm sitting alone on a Saturday night.

In the middle of all my self-pitying, that's when I heard the noise.

It sounded far, but it was getting louder. Like the engines of a jet plane, and wind. I hesitantly stood up, and felt the ground shake below me. I was already starting to panic, but once the ground settled I rushed outside to see what was going on. In the middle of my backyard, I saw a round metal tube, dented a bit at the ends.

I glanced back at the sky, and tip-toed over to the cylinder. On the top side, it was covered in what looked to be a language, but not one I'd ever seen before, like a mix of Mandarin Chinese and Arabic. Next to the writing, there was a hatch I could make out, despite the dark. I opened the trap door, and saw what looked to be a sleeping figure. My fear just increased. I unbuckled the figure, and picked it up, one arm under the knees and the other cradling the head. What the hell was this?

I was surprised how light it was, like it weighed nothing. I brushed off that thought and brought it inside, and laid him or her on the couch, keeping a firm hand on their leg.

Definitely a her.

The first thing I noticed was her chest, the biggest I'd seen. Of course, I've seen F cups before, but they seemed to sag. Hers were high on her chest, and looked as perky and bouncy as B cups, even though they looked to be in the range of L or N. They didn't look like they followed the laws of gravity, like beach balls. She was clad in a tight blue uniform, like what pilots wear, which I noticed must have been custom-made. Her stomach was obviously flat, and her waist tiny. She was short too, around 4'11. I could feel my pants tightening around my cock. I had no idea I liked big tits this much.

She still had a helmet on, but I heard her grunt and shake awake, and her tits gave a little jolt, nearly touching me from a few feet away. Her voice was slightly muffled. "Greetings."

"What's your name?" I asked, breathless. Government agent, maybe?

"I am Me'alani, from the planet Jequen. My craft crashed, I ran out of fuel," She answered. An alien? This was too fucking weird. "Please, can you take off my helmet?"

"How do you speak English? Are you... Human?" I demanded. I had to ask that before I could see if her face was as extraordinary as what I'd already seen.

"Most of my people speak English, we have observed your planet for some time. And no, I am not Human, but I wish to know about your culture and practices. Please, can you remove my helmet?" She asked.

"Alright..." I nervously reached for the helmet, and unfastened it. This had to be a joke, I swear, Chris Harrison was probably going to jump out at me. I pulled off the helmet. What I saw was a flawless face, and a pair of leaf-green eyes, with skin that was as blue as the late afternoon New Mexico sky. Her long, soft, fire engine red curls looked like they were floating, spiraling off in every direction. In short, she's a knockout. I was too amazed for a moment to realize that she wasn't touching the ground.

The alien was floating! "Hey, you're not touching the ground!" I sputtered.

"Earth's gravity is not strong enough for my cell structure," She considered. That explained most of it. "Can you assist me? I am tasked with learning about human culture, is there an official you can direct me to, or is it not your jurisdiction?"

My mind blanked. She's never been on Earth before, and the world would go bonkers if they knew. I'm a Human, I could always show her human culture, right? If she stays here with me...

"It's your lucky day, I'm just the perfect person to see. I'm the... Human cultural professor, yeah, Human cultural professor."

"That's perfect! Could we begin soon?"

"Oh yeah, we can start. First, you can't leave this building, unless I'm going with you. And second, you have to trust me, and do what I say. In exchange, I'll teach you." I smiled. I took her hand, and pulled her over to my room, watching her tits bounce along with her. "Are you wearing a uniform?"

"Yes, it's for the Federation. Is it acceptable on Earth?"

"No! You must take it off immediately, before anybody gets the wrong idea." I sat on the bed, and watched her take it off, letting her round blue tits free. My erection started to strain against my pants, and I stroked the bulge, that when released would be 9 inches. "Very good, now I'm going to show you something. Sit here, on the bed."

She took my hand, and held the quilt to prevent floating off. "Thank you, for helping me. What should I call you?"

"Mark is fine. Here, I'm going to show you a human practice. How do you mate, on your planet?"

She turned a bit pink. "Well, the man, as you call them, inserts his Quens in the female's Unisu... and he..."

"Well, this is the Earth version of that, except you don't have to have a child. Spread your legs, wide." I ordered. She followed my instructions, revealing a blue pussy, wet and slick with white cum. I ran a quick finger over her clit, watching her shudder and let out a quiet moan. It's at least good to see that aliens have clits. "How did that feel?"

"I do not know, very pleasurable..." She blushed. I eyed her soaking wet hole, and slowly inserted a finger, pumping it in and out. I reached for her swelled tit, and pinched her rock-hard nipple.

"You like it? Should I stop...?" I teased.

"Mm, no!" She broke eye contact. "I-I mean, please continue..."

"Keep looking in my eyes," I say, standing up, unzipping my jeans, kicking them off into the corner. I took out my cock, a solid nine inches, and probably the reason Wendy stayed with me for so long. "This, Me'alani, is a cock. Do you know what it does?"

She nodded, I slid my finger back in, and took it back out, my finger covered in her wetness. I held it in front of her plump red lips. "Lick it. How does it taste?"

"It tastes," She ran her tongue over her lips to gather the rest of it. "Sweet."

"Hmm, sweet? Let me check." I kneeled down, and licked in a figure-eight pattern around her pussy, fondling her massive tits. "You were right, Me'alani, very sweet."

I got back on my feet, and stroked my cock. I couldn't ignore the look Me'alani was giving it. I grabbed her by the tit, and push her back on the bed, holding her down, her nipples hard, poking out like a steeple. I run my cock up and down her slit. "Where should I put this, Me'alani? What have you learned so far?"

"I-In my... Unisu, p-please, Mark."

"Call it your pussy, from now on. Now, when I put it in, I want you to moan, and yell, whatever comes to mind. Understand?" She nodded. I slowly slid my hard cock in, watching her eyes roll to the back of her head. Her pussy was so tight, this had to be her first time. Stretching her out and crushing her cherry would teach her everything she'd need to know about Earth Culture. She moaned, loud and breathy.

I slid in and out, thumbing her swollen clit, keeping a grip on her tits. I grunted, and Me'alani bucked her hips to meet my thrusts. She was a natural already. I smirked, she was so close; I could tell. I felt like I was going to explode, but my Alien princess needed to orgasm first. "Fuck..."

She mewed like a kitten, making quite a racket. After a moment, her eyes blanked, and she let out her last moan, signaling her first orgasm. But I wasn't done. I kept thrusting, reaching my own orgasm. I gave one last thrust, cumming inside her sweet little pussy, filling her up. I slid out, and she seemed to regain consciousness. I manage to gasp. "So, did you enjoy that?"

"Y-yes, Mark. Thank you for showing me Earth Culture, I like it very much." She smiled, showing a set of white, even teeth. I managed to get her by the leg before she floats away. "Is that all there is?"

"Oh no, no, no. I have so much more to show you, you'll have to stay here for a while." I insist.

"Very good!" She grinned again. I had to think for a second. Am I actually going to try and show her Earth Culture, or is she just going to sit in my house ready to fuck? Well, there's no reason I can't to both. It looks like she'll be staying for a while.