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Click hereBeyond that, though, he went to utter shit. No more gym, no more social life... if he thought he was zombie Chase before, he now discovered what that really meant. He would have said he was marking days until the end, but that would be giving himself too much credit for paying attention.
And that was the sorry state of Chase Ventris on the day he heard a key in the lock of his front door, a lock that his pathetic ass, nearly always glued to his pathetic couch, could never even bother to get changed.
The noise made his heart race so hard, he actually broke a sweat, and it would have taken a baseball bat to shift his head away from that door being opened with such agonizing slowness. When the delicate, pale hand on the knob came into view, Chase stopped breathing.
"Chase? Are you..." The thin face that appeared was framed by long, golden hair, and the blue eyes set in it were ringed with dark circles. It was beautiful, and it nearly killed him when it gave him a smile. A smile that was utterly vulnerable, deeply relieved... and infinitely hopeful. "There you are."
"Holy shit... Bizzy?"
1-star. Chase is the ultimate cuck! This guy is apparently a genius Adonis, but settles for women that he watches have sex with other men. He was Bizzy getting fucked on video and Belly getting fucked in his guest bedroom. I’m starting to believe he likes it.
Hardly a shocker. Though I begun to think that Isabelle and Elizabeth were just split personalities.
Really would not be wanting Elizabeth back after 3 years. The 3 years alone would have if nothing else provided distance to get over any love. But the sheer selfishness of it, would I believe have induced an absolute hatred of her selfish indifference to anybody but herself.
BTW - so after a while year of sex that was the first time that he'd seen her arse, like the never did reverse cowboy, nor doggy or even ate her ass. I'm just not believing that for a second.
One year of continuous fucking and he never noticed she had a birthmark on her ass?
That guy is a special kind of stupid.
Oh no.
But the guy is pathetic. Three years of depression for breaking up with the traitorous cougar? Anybody would have some antidepressants prescribed by then. It isn't as if he's fucking anyway...
Bizzy who❓️
Seriously 80085, sometimes, when you realize a pile of 💩 came out instead of a story pull it out of the website .
You can post it again, after rewrite.
Right now, no one cares about it, except to find out where the wife, ex-wife, Sil to be, has been living.
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AMerryman
I just couldn't get my head wrapped around the story. it just confused me and made it more work t enjoy. I thought it was pretty well written and the plot was pretty original but the only things that stick in my mind are the beginning when he discovered her cheating and the last line of the story/; There isn't much of any useful substance in and there appeared to be plenty of room for a lot of usefull embellishment in between the beginning. I think this author is just plain lazy.
Wow, time for comment. An excellent story! The joy, the anguish, the pain ... all come through like a runaway train. Keep it up, please. One of the best story lines written on this site whether you agree with the character's actions or not.
Well in the end this was trash, nothing more, nothing less.
You obviously have a very good writing ability, but that doesnt mean you have the ability to create a good, decent or even mediocre story.
This was dumb...............straight across the board, dumb. But well written dumb is still hindered by the dumb part. The whole premise was ridiculous and too much of a stretch for any degree of suspension of disbelief, the plot line that followed was no better. Focus on fixing that and you would make a decent writer. But I doubt you will, his ex will come back and like so many wimps around here he'll take her back. Though even if he doesnt, it wont fix this mess.
Far too long. I scanned this chapter and did not miss a thing from the story line. You are dragging it out. I agree your writing is technically very good, but the story line is really strung out. I will wait to read the ending before I score it.
What I write won't make any difference...But, Bizzy was gone for over a year before Chase finally had sex with Belly. He lives in sin for a year doing it every day until he finally sees the mole/tattoo which brings back all the bad memories. He finally grows a pair and kicks Belly out and then becomes a slug. Three years after the second fall, Bizzy shows back up.
Why didn't he file for divorce for abandonment after the first year? (Whether he changed the locks or not.)
Daughter never saw the birthmark????? Not believable. He never saw the birthmark? Not believable. You stretchered this timeline out WAY too far. Not believable. I love a RAAC story but this one is is, you guessed it, not believable. Every character is apparently an idiot.
As hateful as "Belly" was when she first appeared on the scene I wasn't expecting to find out it was her in the video. As hard as it is to believe that Chase hadn't noticed the birthmark over the course of a year of crazy sex... Still a very effective plot twist in my mind.
Re: Frank66 That goes to show you well written stories don't always equal a good story. Even the best of authors fail at times.