Entertaining at Large Ch. 09

Over at the bar George was telling more people that they had had enough than he was serving. The older barmaids were collecting glasses; piling discarded clothing and other personal belongings on the end of the bar as they returned. Mandy was loading the washer with the empties and stacking clean glasses on shelves under the counter top. She waved me away when I offered to help. I thought about retrieving Mr J, but over at his table he was still the centre of attention and judging by the male guffaws which punctuated his stories I guessed my presence might be something of a dampener.

Red, JD and James were still deep in conversation when I walked over to them. I had exhausted my options and accepted their invitation to join them. No sooner had I sat down that the older men were on their feet holding out open hands to Scarlett. I wondered whether their courtesy was a product of age, or just good manners. It was definitely unusual. James remained seated, but beamed at Scarlett as she sat.

'I could murder a drink.'

That provoked another flurry of activity and argument. It was settled when James was dispatched to the bar clutching a twenty pound note JD had supplied. Scarlett simpered under the praise the other two heaped on her. I felt like a third wheel and pulled out my phone to check messages. There weren't any. I was in the process of sending out greetings to my contacts list when it rang. It was Steve.

'Happy New Year, you reprobate.'

'You had a good time? I was worried you might be missing me.'

'No chance. We've had the night to end all nights here. If you'd seen Scarlett strip you'd have a hard on which would last until February.'

He groaned.

'How was yours?'

'Bloody awful. We played Trivial Pursuits and talked about mortgages. I'm hiding in the toilet.'

I laughed.

'Got your message about sponsorship. Who is it?'

'George.'

'What. I don't believe it. Was he drunk?'

'No, he was Mandied. He hasn't had the bill yet. I'm just discussing kit with Red. From the sports outlet?'

There was a grunt at the other end of the line.

'He's had this really good idea about using the Malaga away strip. No other team will have anything like it.'

I smiled sweetly across at Red. He looked suitably conspiratorial.

'Sounds good. Listen, the other reason I'm calling is that the boys are all coming back tomorrow. Our next game's not until Wednesday week, but we thought a training session might be in order.'

'That's how you've spent New Year's Eve?'

'Pretty much.'

'Poor you. Sure, count me in. Wednesday good?'

'It's a date.'

We swapped a few more insults and then hung up. I finished sending my text. When I looked up Mr J was standing next to me.

'Hi sweetheart. Haven't had a chance to say how much I enjoyed your strips.'

I got up and kissed him on the mouth. I enjoyed the sweet softness of his lips for a moment or two more than I should have. It left me very slightly breathless.

'Happy New Year. Thanks Mr J. I enjoyed your contribution to the finale.'

He winked at me.

'Listen. Jake has just said the next bus is going our way. You want to head home?'

'You know, I think I do.'

I wasn't particularly tired and given my no-alcohol pledge, completely sober. But the night was definitely coming to an end. Looking around the Crown, the only people carrying the party forward we're strangers to me. I reached over the table and stroked Scarlett's arm to get her attention.

'Mr J and I are off home. Thanks for a night to remember.'

She jumped out of her seat and kissed me.

'Can we come too?'

She nodded down at James who looked as if this was the first he was hearing about leaving with Scarlett.

'Sure, if you'd like. It'd be great.'

'Your computer's better than mine. We need to do the graphics tomorrow. And anyway, Aunt Mabel's taking my bed at George and Mandy's. She's had a bit too much port and lemon.'

'But my mum will worry if I don't go home.'

Red and JD joined Scarlett, Mr J and I in looking askance at James. The men started to laugh.

'Listen son, just ring and tell her two of the best strippers this town has ever seen are taking you home and you'll see her tomorrow. I'm sure she'll understand.'

Mr J and Red nodded at JD's assessment. James blushed. I pulled Scarlett away to say goodbyes and collect our bags. It took rather longer than I expected. George was virtually polite as he thanked us for making the night what it was. Mandy disappeared to affectionately asphyxiate Mr J and we needed to spend some time convincing Tracy that we were not organising a secret after-show party to which she was not invited.

James was looking irritatingly smug when we got back to the table. The big boys' conversation had clearly buoyed him. We sloped off towards the door and the chaos of the queue.

Jake was just repeating his list of neighbourhoods Alan would be visiting next to any question posed of him. Mine was on it so, even though there were better ways to get around town, I didn't add my twopenneth. When Alan eventually pulled around the corner and opened the door of the empty coach, the bickering stepped up a notch or two. Jake's intransigence had knocked the stuffing out of the naysayers and about eight of us trooped out into the newly-arrived drizzle our heads full of thoughts of home.

The journey through town was hair-raising. The only traffic was taxis and emergency vehicles. None of their drivers were strict observers of the Highway Code, and every junction demanded Alan's full attention. There were also drunks falling all over the pavements and roads many of whom were under the impression that any passing vehicle was a cab, open for business and just waiting for them to stop it. We had a number of close calls before eventually pulling free of the centre. At that point Alan got lost.

Scarlett, James and I were sitting at the back of the minibus so we left the drunks further forward to make things worse by shouting contradictory instructions and then arguing with each other. We were still slowing to a near stop at most junctions; now it was to hold an impromptu referendum as to what to do next. I cast my vote in favour of joining Scarlett in teasing James on the long back seat. Mr J was snoozing next to me.

'So, what were you talking to Red and JD about? You looked pretty smug when we got back with our stuff.'

He went a rather attractive shade of pink. I snapped a photo on my phone in case it might come in handy when choosing colours for our new strip.

'Nothing.'

The colour deepened. We both slipped an arm through his and snuggled closer.

'Come on James, you can tell us.'

Scarlett was purring like a cat.

'Well, they just said how lucky I was.'

'Lucky? Why exactly?'

It was difficult not to laugh, Scarlett sounded almost innocent. I decided to follow her lead. I hadn't given much consideration to what was going to happen after the pub shut. If anything, I'd imagined a friendly cocoa with Mr J followed by a vigorous work out with my Clooney-substitute. I had to admit to myself that the chance of road-testing young James's cock was beginning to put other ideas in my head but I wasn't sure of Scarlett's aspirations in that regard. I didn't want to get in her way. James was stammering a little now.

'JD said you were both "cracking birds".'

'Bit old-fashioned don't you think? What do you think he meant by it?'

I tried to look innocent.

'That you're pretty.'

We both burst out laughing. James swivelled his head between us trying to work out the joke.

'What did Red have to say?'

'Well...'

James ran out of words.

'It didn't have anything to do with your prospects of enjoying sexual congress with one or both of us did it?'

Both Scarlett and James looked at me blankly.

'That we might be up for it?'

Scarlett picked up the thread.

'Gagging for it?'

'Randy as bitches in heat?'

I could feel James trying to shrink inside his clothes.

'That would be a bit presumptuous don't you think Scarlett?'

'No. I've already told him he's on a promise.'

She cackled. I shushed her. I could feel Mr J rousing slightly on my other side.

'You'd give him one wouldn't you Susan?'

Her tone was neutral. I made speculative noises as if giving the prospect deep consideration.

'I did enjoy sucking him off the other day. He does have a nice cock.'

'Oh, goody.'

'But I wonder whether he's man enough for both of us.'

James made a noise suspiciously like a whimper.

'Good point, well made if you don't mind me saying so?'

'Not at all Scarlett, my dear. Perhaps we should conduct an informal interview before going further? It would be awful if we got our hopes up unnecessarily.'

Scarlett almost choked.

'Absolutely. You start.'

I straightened my back and cleared my throat before twisting to face James. He looked something like a strawberry jelly. I adopted my best formal tone.

'So tell me James - you don't mind if I call you James do you?'

He nodded.

'So, James. Are you married?'

His denial came out in a splutter. We all laughed.

'Good. Tell us a little about your experience then.'

'I've had sex.'

He sounded indignant.

'Much?'

'Enough.'

'How many partners? A rough estimate will do. Fifty?'

He remained silent.

'More?'

I took his lack of response as a "no".

'Less then. Forty? Thirty? Twenty five?'

I think Scarlett was beginning to feel sorry for him. She spoke softly.

'Is it more than one?'

'Do blow jobs count?'

He stole a glance at me.

'Not really. We're thinking of proper fucking. Is it more than one?'

James gave the barest shake of his head.

'All right then. So we're dealing with a beginner. That's good, at least we know what we're dealing with. So, techniques?'

James made a confused noise.

'You've had blow jobs, obviously. Cunnilingus?'

Silence.

'Did you go down on her?'

He pulled a sour face. Scarlett had no need for him to verbalise.

'We'll fix that to start with. When your friends find out you can get a woman off with your mouth you'll never want for female companionship again. Right Susan?'

'I imagine we'll have to include rimming.'

James was beginning to look worried. Scarlett pressed on.

'Anal?'

He was back to confusion.

'Did you stuff her up the bum?'

He went white and shook his head.

'Better lube up the old back passage then Susan. He's not practising on me.'

'Well I don't know.'

It's always nice to be included, of course, but offering up my arse as part of an adolescent's education would have to be considered carefully. My pussy moistness suggested one vote in favour and my sphincter twitched at Scarlett's suggestion.

'Come on. Be a sport. Spanking?'

I was not sure whether she was asking me or James. His expression betrayed a sincere wish that it was directed at anyone but him. I elbowed him.

'Come on. Are you a disher-out or a bum-in-the-air boy?'

'I've never done it.'

'Maybe best to leave that for another day, Scarlett.'

I recalled the livid stripes on Ned's bottom when he was finally released.

'Spoilsport.'

'Is there anything you'd really like to do, James?'

I thought we'd better get Scarlett off-track before she started exploring the further reaches of human sexuality and scared James to death.

'Kissing.'

'What?'

She sounded shocked.

'I really liked it when you kissed me the other day.'

She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently on the lips. Suffice it to say, one thing led to another and by the time Alan announced we'd arrived on my street the two looked like a game of cat's cradle gone wrong. The accompanying noises were relatively quiet, thankfully. I shook My J gently awake. He murmured Mandy's name as he came to. He took a minute to get his eyes to focus on his watch.

'You coming in?"

'At this hour? I should have been in bed hours ago. I will come over tomorrow though and count your earnings if you'd like.'

'Great. I need to talk to you about something too.'

I kissed him on the cheek and the four of us struggled out of the small coach falling onto the pavement. James offered to take my bag and almost toppled over when I handed it to him.

'You earned a bit tonight then?'

'Doubt it. You got all the notes, I just picked up their spare change.'

Scarlett handed her hold-all to James as well and the poor boy's knees almost buckled under the weight. He staggered behind us up the path and into the house before dropping them with a huge sigh of relief.

'There's plenty of booze in the front room; Scarlett knows where the glasses are.'

I dragged the two bags into the kitchen and unloaded dirty laundryman from mine straight into the machine. The body confectionery, lube and the condoms, I put on the table. Scarlett came through for glasses and ice.

'He loves your bottle collection.'

'Better make sure he has plenty of coke with his spirit. He's going to need the energy.'

We laughed together before enjoying a slow kiss. It was the nicest I had had all night. Scarlett knelt by her own bag and started tugging at something inside. She almost fell backwards when the riding crop she had used in her first strip eventually jerked free.

'I'll take this as well. Keep Sonny Jim on his toes.'

'I think I'm off upstairs for a shower. That body stuff is really sticky.'

I stripped off my clothes and put them in the washer too. Scarlett let out a low whistle as she stood leaning against the door.

'Take it slow and I'll come up and join you. I'm just going to blow James. We don't want him coming too soon during the main event.'

She turned and went back to our guest. I skipped quickly upstairs. The house was warm enough, but without clothes even the hottest rooms feel a little nippy. I turned on the shower after depositing the condoms and body aides in the bedroom and went to collect all the clean towels I could find. I had a feeling we were going to need them before the night was out.

The water felt wonderful against my skin. I looked down and saw brown and orange swirls disappearing into the plug hole as the remains of body paint was washed off under the strong jets. I did not hear the other two come in, but as I reached for my cream body wash and a sponge the door was suddenly yanked open.

'Bugger. I bet James you'd be masturbating. Now I'm definitely going to have to screw him.'

There was a small string of semen sticking to the side of Scarlett's grinning mouth.

'Should have given it a few more minutes. You missed a bit, by the way.'

I pointed to the rogue ejaculate. She laughed and cleaned it up with a finger which she sucked greedily.

'Did I mention that you taste nice?'

She was speaking over her shoulder. I heard a muffled response from James but couldn't identify whether he was pleased with the compliment or just further embarrassed. Scarlett closed the door and I could see her opaque shape as she stripped off her own clothes. She was back in with me within the minute. She groaned as the warmth of the water hit her and her hands went straight to my tits. I raised an eyebrow at her but then had o squeeze both eyes shut as the soap which ran into them reminded me of the problems of over-subtle facial expressions whilst showering.

'Any body paint left?'

She had her mouth right against my ear.

'Bother, bother, bother. My eyes hurt like... Something that hurts a lot.'

I heard her snigger.

'You given up swearing as well?'

'Thought I might give it a try. But if you keep touching me like that my resolution won't last the night.'

Her slick hands followed the stream down between my breasts, over my stomach and quickly started massaging and probing my pussy.

'You on viagra?'

'What?'

'You just seem awfully eager all of a sudden.'

She laughed until her mouth filled with water and almost choked her. She had a finger inside my vagina and her other hand was exploring the crack between my buttocks. My time for polite conversation was coming close to an end. I bent and kissed her; we didn't hold it long. I had to break to breathe and, I discovered, moan; she because she felt her mouth would be better employed on my nipples.

I felt them harden and my breathing quickened as she nibbled at my stiffening nubs. I gasped and fell back against the cold tiles as I felt her finger push past my relaxed sphincter and into the recesses of my bum. I could feel jolts passing through me as she probed and licked, but my orgasm almost came as a surprise. The warm caress of he water, the cold of the tiles and the insistent exploration of both my lower orifices as well as her mouth work on my boobs means there were too many sensory signals for my brain to process. I shouted out as a red veil covered my vision and I had to stretch out an arm to support myself. I could barely feel my legs.

'Yes. The girl's done it. Two orgasms from two people in less than ten minutes. It's a new world record.'

Scarlett had her hands above her head and made mock crowd noises as she pirouetted acknowledging imagined applause. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her off her feet. That was a mistake. Her head hit the shower causing her to jolt backwards; that sudden movement and my fragility following my almighty orgasm caused both of us to lose balance and slip to the floor of the shower in a heap. It hurt, I knew that; it was just hard to tell where. Whenever I moved my free arm to try and touch places my body was telling me needed rubbing I'd poke Scarlett. She was doing the same to me as she tried to assess her injuries. We ended up melting into a formless heap on the floor of the shower both laughing and both blaming the other for causing the collapse.

'You OK?'

The sight of James's concerned face - he closed the doors of the shower to his neck to Ray and stop his clothes getting wet - as he looked in to find out what had happened made both of us roll backwards we were laughing so much. That at least separated out two bodies. But the enclosed space and the look James gave us as he tried to keep his rapidly dampening hair out of his eyes without using a hand made us roll together again and hug. I tried to get to my feet. I was, after all, the host here.

'We're fine.'

Scarlett regained the power of speech first. I kicked her gently in the ribs and she made to grab my calf.

'You speak for yourself. I've just been finger-fucked, arse probed and nipple sucked until I came without so much as a by-your-leave. Now I need to pee.'

I pushed James back and stepped out of the shower looking for a towel.

'She loves people watching her. When she's finished get in here. You can wash my back.'

Scarlett's head had replaced James's. Obviously looking out rather than in. She was grinning from ear to ear. I don't know who was more flustered, me or James. I picked up on his embarrassment, but the room is small and the towels were on the other side of him. We moved delicately around each other gripping forearms. James kept his eyes glued to my forehead and flushed bright red. These were not the actions of an expectant bottom-penetrator. I still was not sure whether that was good or bad.

'You like watching women pee, James?'

Shooting fish in a barrel may not be sporting, but it holds its own satisfaction.

'Never done it.'

Really? Come on. Never sneaked a look into the girls toilets at school? Watched your mum when she accidentally left the door open? You got any sisters?'

'No.'

That response was definitely indignant. Time to reel it back a little. My body was more or less dry so I draped the towel over my head.

'Come and help me dry my hair.'

I enthroned myself and looked up at him sort-of innocently. He took a tentative step towards me so I reached for his hand and pulled him closer.

'That's right, get nearer. You've dried someone's hair before, I'm sure. I always love it when someone does mine.'