Erasing Julie Ch. 02

This is part two of a three part story. I recommend reading part one before starting this part. Sorry for the delay in posting part two; unexpected interruptions and a re-write were the causes. Part three is being re-written due to the changes in part two, but it should be posted soon. A heartfelt thanks to my editor, Lindsey Marsh, for his patience and excellent advice. K

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Easing Julie Chapter 2: Decisions

Friday, March 26^th.

It had been almost five years since Gus had visited Simon and Seafort's restaurant, but he had remembered tables with a view of Cook Inlet were difficult to get and by calling ahead, had managed to secure the last table overlooking the water. He had arrived a few minutes early and as he admired the view, he sipped his wine and let his mind wander over the day's events.

That morning he'd had a curious visit from his friend Charlie that had left him slightly bewildered. During the previous week's surveillance of Julie and her lover, the field agent for Charlie's firm had recorded a suspicious conversation between Greg Peterson and another man. The recording had detailed a business deal with international implications and Charlie's firm had contacted Federal authorities in Seattle. A short time later a Federal 'alphabet' agency had appeared at the firm with a search warrant for all of its observation material of Greg and Julie. Charlie's firm had been directed to cease all surveillance of the couple and in a gesture of good will, the agency had paid Gus's bill with the understanding Gus would be satisfied with the information he had already received and would cease his investigations. Much to Charlie's relief, Gus had agreed to his request.

It was a good idea to take a break from his divorce deliberations and the morning's drama with Charlie; erasing Julie was taking more time and effort than he had expected. He had, however, spent the better part of the afternoon on a far more congenial task; preparing a short talk on marriage for Bess and Brian. It hadn't been easy; if he'd had to prepare it a month ago, his task would have required little effort, but his wife's infidelity had made it significantly more difficult. In the end he had decided to make use of the lessons he had garnered from his situation and impress upon them marriage wasn't an eternal state of bliss, but an ongoing relationship which, if it was to succeed, required work from both parties. If he could save them from making the mistakes Julie and he had made, he would be pleased.

It was his son who arrived first to interrupt his father's musings, followed closely by his daughter and her boyfriend. As usual Josh and Bess were effusive with their greetings, Brian a little hesitant. After shaking hands with his son and accepting a kiss from his daughter he turned to her boyfriend and extended his hand.

As they shook hands he looked closely at his future son-in-law. Brian would not have been his choice for his daughter, although he wasn't sure if anyone would really be good enough. It ought to be enough that Bess loved him, but there was something about Brian which, while he couldn't articulate what it was, he didn't like.

"Daddy, thank you so much for meeting with us! Brian and I have wanted to get married for a while, but wanted to wait until he graduated."

It was clear Bess was excited by the prospect of being married, but would she feel the same way in a year -- or ten years? He could only hope.

"Before we start, I'll tell you what I've arranged for the evening." Gus began. "The staff knows we have some business to conduct before we eat. They will take a drink order and once they have delivered the drinks, will leave us alone until we finish our discussion. I've asked Josh to video our meeting because I think you should watch it every year on your wedding anniversary, to remind you how it all began. Okay?"

Bess and Brian nodded and as they did, as if on cue, a waiter appeared to take their drink orders. They chatted about the weather, school and jobs until the drinks were delivered. Once the waiter had left, Josh stood up and stepped a few feet back from the table.

"Okay, you can start," Josh told them, holding up the video camera he had brought to record the proceedings.

"Brian," Gus began formally, "I understand you have a question for me."

"Yes, sir," Brian replied. "I want your permission to marry your daughter."

Gus turned to his daughter, "Bess, do you want to marry Brian?"

"Yes, daddy, I do. Very much."

It's easy to say at this moment, he thought, but would you have given the same answer if you had caught him sleeping with an ex-girlfriend? He realized it was the thought of a bitter man and had no place in what should be a happy occasion, but he had good grounds for his bitterness.

"Brian and Bess," he asked, "do you both agree to love, support and honor each other above all others for as long as you are together?"

"Yes!" Brian and Bess said in unison.

"Then you have my permission and blessing to marry," Gus said solemnly.

"Thank you, sir," Brian replied, before leaning over and kissing Bess.

It was time for his speech. He knew it was florid and might even be seen so by Bess and Brian, but it was what he believed.

"I know you might think me an old fogey, but I think I've got some advice to offer you on marriage and relationships which you will find useful. Marriage can be the most rewarding and fulfilling activity you experience in your life, but it can also be frustrating, difficult and challenging. There will be joy and pleasure, but you will also be faced with many difficult situations.

"Marriage is never a completed journey, merely a work in progress. To succeed you must invest in your marriage every day. When a marriage becomes stale it is an indication one or both spouses have stopped working on the relationship. Make your marriage your priority; your focus in life."

He paused to glance at his notes, he believed in what he was saying, but knew people were capricious and it only required a single slip by one of the parties to upset a lifetime of endeavor.

"Marriage comprises three pillars: love, respect and trust. All the pillars are necessary if the marriage is to be successful. If any one of them is absent or lost, the marriage will be sure to fail.

"Love is the easy one. It is obvious you two love each other and that is good. But love by itself is not enough.

"Respect means you consider, at all times, the effect your actions may have on the other and the marriage. You must be selfless, not selfish and place the well-being of your spouse ahead of all other considerations.

"Trust must be complete and absolute. You can't half trust someone; you either trust them or you don't. If there is trust you know your spouse is always there to support you and it makes marriage much easier. Be each other's best friend and be each other's confidant.

"The cement holding the three pillars in place is communication. Talk to each other - often. Make time in your day to express to each other your feelings, your wants, your fears, your doubts. From bitter experience I can tell you that failure to communicate is the beginning of the end of a marriage. Remind each other of the love you feel for each other. Say "I love you" daily. Make communication a top priority. It's more important than sex.

"Sex is over-rated. I know it's pleasurable, fun, legal and there's no other feeling like it, but you will spend less than one percent of your married life having sex and sex by itself won't support or sustain a marriage. Without love, respect, trust and communication a marriage is doomed to failure."

As he finished his homily on marriage, he paused. He believed what he had said, but what if Julie had not subscribed to the idea sex was over-rated? Had she slept with Greg because he had failed her in some way? He had enjoyed making love to her and had thought she had felt the same. He had to admit they had made love less often over the years, but working on the Slope was tiring and left them little time together. Perhaps he had not been as adventurous as he might have been, but she was the only women he has slept with and he'd had no experience to bring to the marriage.

If there was anything he regretted, it was turning down her offers to add some variety to their sex life. He had been surprised by her suggestion they engage in oral sex and try making love in a position, which he had since learned, was called 'doggy fashion'. He had refused her offer out of embarrassment; he didn't know how to do either. If there was one thing her infidelity had taught him; it was the next time he made love to a woman he would be more open-minded. All he had to do was to find someone he could trust.

His musing were broken by a word from his daughter,

"Thank you Daddy, that was lovely."

"Thank you Bess. You know if you ever need to talk, I am here for you, either as a couple or individually. If you ever need help, please ask me. If I can help, I will.

"God bless you both."

Having finished, he smiled at the couple and put away his notes and as he did so the silence was broken by applause. He looked around to see a number of the people at the closest tables looking at him; some of whom were clapping. A few came over to congratulate the couple and to compliment him on his speech; embarrassing him, but pleasing Brian and Bess.

After the well-wishers had left, Josh told them a number of their friends had indicated they would like a copy of the video and he was going to post it on his Facebook page as soon as he got home. As he sat down he congratulated his father,

"That was great, Dad."

"Thanks, son."

Saturday, March 27^th.

It was another beautiful day on Lake Washington; Greg was expertly piloting the sailboat across the almost still water while Julie was sitting next to him, lost in thought. She was replaying her conversation with George. Initially, his story about his wife's infidelity had not bothered her, but now, two days later, it was preying on her mind.

Love or excitement? George's wife had opted for a kind of love and obviously one which she had decided was right for her. While she had been listening to George's story Julie had been certain George's wife had made the wrong choice; that she had made it for the wrong reasons and a life full of excitement, sex and fun was preferable. Now, she wasn't so sure.

Damn! she thought, I just don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to be in the moment, enjoying my lover and sailing on the lake. She snuggled closer to Greg; he'd promised to make love to her after they had finished sailing and she was looking forward to it. Being fucked by Greg was always an experience to savour. Greg felt her breasts against his thigh and leaned over, fondled her tits and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Julie smiled, looked out over the lake and admired the view. What a perfect day for sailing and an even better one for fucking and not the day for thinking negative thoughts.

Sunday, March 28^th.

Gus stood in his almost empty house and looked around. The garage sale was over and all that was left was for the Salvation Army to come around the following morning to pick up the few possessions remaining in the house. What they didn't want would go into the dumpster, leaving an empty house for the new owners.

Both cars had been sold; Julie's much-loved Subaru Forrester to a couple from Peters Creek and his Toyota Tundra, to a friend. Now carless, he was waiting for Josh to pick him up and drive him to an extended stay hotel in midtown Anchorage. When he was cleared to drive the following week, he would rent a car for the ten days or so before his departure for Texas.

He wandered through the house for one last time. He had lived there almost half of his life and his children had been raised here. He stopped at the doorway to the master bedroom and looked inside. He had been so busy for the past two weeks erasing Julie, he had not had time to feel very much, but now his emotions, which he had somehow managed to contain, were finally overtaking him.

His eyes began to tear and then, he cried. He was engulfed by a wave of emotions; anger, loss, betrayal and fear all played in his mind. He had lost Julie, who had been his wife, his lover and his best friend. They were going to grow old together and she had destroyed that dream. Over the previous two weeks he had succeeded in erasing all the outward manifestations of their life together, but in doing so it had felt as if he had erased a major part of his own life, leaving a void he didn't know how he was going to fill.

Josh had arrived half an hour later and had found his father, still sobbing and sitting on the floor in the hallway next to the master bedroom. He had helped him into the car and driven him to his hotel, but during the journey had become so concerned about his father's state-of-mind, had decided to stay the night with him. Once he had seen his father to bed, he had called Bess to let her know what had happened and promising to update her in the morning.

Monday, March 29^th.

"Hello, my dear. You are quite beautiful. My name is Helen Parker," the elderly matron extended her hand.

"Hello, Helen. My name is Julie Randall. Thank you for inviting us to your party this evening."

"Well, Greg is one of my favorite people. He generously contributes to the symphony and we are grateful." Helen paused for a moment and then continued, "Randall. Randall. Hmm, are you related to a Gus or Bess Randall?"

Julie was startled at the mention of her husband and daughter.

"They were so wonderful on the internet. It was on YouTube or Facebook; I think. It was so cute, the boyfriend asking the father for the daughter's hand in marriage. It's so romantic and old fashioned, don't you think?"

"No, I haven't seen it. I am related to the two of them," Julie replied, regaining her composure.

"Would you like to see it? It's not very long and I'm sure no one would miss us for a few minutes. Come on, dear. Follow me."

Helen led Julie down a long hall to a well-appointed office where they gathered around the computer, while Helen accessed her internet account. In a few minutes, the video Josh had filmed and posted was showing on the screen.

What the hell is going on? Julie thought to herself. Why is Gus wearing a sling and why hadn't Bess told her Brian was considering proposing? Why hadn't anyone e-mailed her and let her know? She was both angry and hurt and vowed, once she and Greg had returned home, to send a scathing e-mail to her daughter. How dare she get engaged and not tell her mother!

"Thank you, Helen," Julie offered as they returned to the party. "I enjoyed seeing the video. It was as charming as you suggested."

"You are welcome, Julie," Helen replied, with a smile.

Tuesday, March 30^th.

It was early afternoon and Gus was sitting in the waiting room waiting to see a therapist. At his morning appointment with his doctor, he had been told his arm was healing very well and as he no longer needed to protect it with a sling, he had permission to drive. As he was leaving, his doctor had asked him how he was feeling in general and had been given a potted and censored version of his problems with his wife.

The doctor had listened sympathetically, signed him off work for a further week and assigned him a therapist through his employer's Employee Assistance Program.

"Mr. Randall?"

The voice shook him from his deliberations. He looked up and saw a middle-aged woman, a bright smile on her face, looking at him. She was about forty-five, the same age as Julie and attractive. She was wearing a green, just above the knee dress, which showed off her trim body and complemented, perfectly, her long red hair, matching four inch heels and a gold coloured brooch. When he had envisioned his therapist, he had pictured her as an earnest, dark haired woman wearing a dowdy sweater and ankle length skirt; this woman was nothing like that. She was almost beautiful and for the first time since he'd learned of Julie's infidelity, a woman had invoked, albeit muted, sexual feelings.

"Yes."

"Welcome, Mr. Randall, I'm Shelly Green. Come in my office and have a seat?"

As she led him into her office she looked him over. She had received his doctor's notes electronically and knew of his problems. From his body language he appeared depressed; but she wasn't prepared to make a judgment until she had talked to him.

Once they were settled, she asked him the few questions necessary to complete the paper work and once the administrative function was complete, began the session.

"What has been going on in your life recently, Mr. Randall?"

He had told the doctor his story that morning and he had a good idea the therapist had already been provided with the information and was asking him to repeat his story in order to hear it for herself. He didn't mind, there was a certain catharsis from recounting his experiences and whereas, he had foreshortened and censored his story for the doctor, he related the events of the previous three weeks in detail; from his accident on the Slope, his discovery of his wife's betrayal, his decision to erase his wife from his life and finally, his minor emotional breakdown of two days before. It took him a half an hour and when he had completed it, realized it was the first time he had recounted the story in total and what was more; he felt much better for it.

"Thank you, Mr. Randall," Shelly offered. "It took some courage to go through all of that drama with me. I appreciate your trust."

He nodded and shrugged his shoulders while Shelly looked, first at her paperwork and then at him.

"Mr. Randall, I see from your file you are re-locating in about ten days. Is that correct?"

"Yes, I'm going to Houston."

"Okay. Well, there's not really much we can do in that amount of time, but I do have a proposal for you. I can use a 'shotgun' approach which will get you started in the right direction, but you will have to do some work on your own. In addition you must promise me to see a therapist once you are settled in Houston. Are you prepared to agree with that?"

"I guess I have to, if I want to feel better." Gus replied.

"Okay, I'll write down my instructions and that way you can take it with you. With respect to how you're feeling at this moment, you must understand, it is normal to feel angry, depressed and miserable when things like this happen. The feelings may last weeks or even months, but as you recover your depression will become less intense. If you are still feeling depressed in a few weeks, you should ask your Houston therapist to refer you to a doctor and get a prescription for an anti-depressant.

"Part of the reason you are feeling depressed is that you are focused on the past, on what you have lost. You need to focus on the future, on rebuilding your life. What you need is a post-marriage plan.

"I want you to make three lists. The first list will be short: it is the list of people from your past that you want to take into the future. I suggest your children be on that list. The second list is what you want to accomplish, where you want to be, in six months. The final list is the same as the second list except, this time, the timeframe is two years.

"I also want you to keep a journal and write down what you are feeling. Write in it daily. The journal will be useful in a few months: you can read your earlier entries and see how far you have improved over time.