Eulogy

This is a short that I came up with after I heard a story from a woman friend of mine. This woman attended a wake for a female business associate's grandmother. The step-grandfather spoke about the wonderful 35 years they had together. The grandmother was separated for 30 years and divorced for 28. Do the math. The female business associate's mother was only 12 when the wonderful 35 years her mother and step father had started together. The idiot had no clue what he unleashed so publically.

Eulogy of Roxanne

Roxanne Windsor was a complicated person, taken so early in her life at 44. It was an insidious form of cancer that took her away from us. She was first diagnosed with it a year ago. It was discovered during medical tests after her auto accident. She kept it quiet and told only a few people, my brother Carl and myself, my father her ex-husband, along with her lawyer and an investigator. You see, recovering at home after the accident, she found out that Bill, her partner of 15 years and now husband of 9 months, had been having affairs during the entire time they were together.

At their wedding 9 months ago some of you may have remembered how my stepfather spoke about their wonderful 14 years together. My mother has been separated for 11 years and divorced for 10. I was 10 years old when he first came into our lives. He moved in two weeks after my father was forced to leave our home.

In the past year my mother told my brother and me that she was young when she married my father. He was supportive and protected her. She said that she never really grew up. She was a weak individual. Bill came along and swept her off her feet and then continued to direct her entire life. He did all he could to destroy her relationship with her children and anybody else my mother was close to.

After the car accident, Roxanne was required to stay at home to recover. She found all sorts of evidence of what Bill actually was; dishonest, untruthful, ruthless and unfaithful.

Medically, Roxanne knew that she was dying. That could not be changed. Our doctor visits and the second and third opinions were not able to be refuted. Looking at death, she decided to correct as many of her mistakes that she could.

She started by contacting my father and his wife Gail to ask for forgiveness. Along with my brother and me at that family meeting, she was brutally honest about herself and what she did and allowed to happen. Then she asked for our help. She realized soon after her divorce years ago that Bill would not in any way ever be supportive of her. That was the first of many major disappointments with him.

To correct the wrongs in her life, Roxanne started by marrying Bill. You see, the divorce agreement allowed her to live totally rent free in the house until she remarried. The eviction process with all the proper legal notifications has been complete for some time. The house should already be emptied onto the lawn as we speak.

Because the settlement from the auto accident was due any time, Bill took out $50,000 from his 401K to pay for the new kitchen she wanted. She said that he overheard him say that he looked at it as a good investment to flip the house. By the way, the kitchen planner was my step mother Gail. Roxanna wanted to be sure that Gail would have the exact kitchen she wanted. Roxanne settled the accident claim a month ago. That money was immediately spent.

Roxanne also hired an investigator to document the affair Bill was having with Antonia. He should have picked his lover more carefully. Antonia's husband is in prison. Roxanne did circulate the photos of the two of them entering and leaving hotels to Lucca's friends. By the way Bill, Lucca is a very jealous and connected man. Roxanne also reduced the insurance on his new Jaguar to the bare legal minimum several months ago. Was that an auto crash we heard when the service started?

But my mother also tried to do good. She found a box of yellow metal in the basement and decided to pay off my brother's and my student loans, our outstanding wedding debts and finally, she put a dent in our mortgages. She was upset that Bill never let her spend a dime on us. Also in the basement she found several boxes of papers that she decided to give back to Bill's employer. It appears that they were not aware that Bill was also selling for a competitor, contrary to their contract with him. This may make paying off that 401K loan a bit harder. The taxes should be due on those transactions very soon.

The term life insurance Roxanne and Bill took out was cancelled months ago. The bank CD's and the common checking account are also a bit thinner. Bill should feel good that he should be able to claim the gifts he made the Green Party on his taxes. She so enjoyed Bill's ranting on that and anything else he had no clue about in life.

Bill left his email open one day, it was not a good thing. Somehow, his emails were forwarded to the fraud division of the IRS. My mother was there when the IRS arrived with a search warrant two months ago. She said that she was happy to help. They suggested to her that she may want to call the states attorney for some other unspecified things. That group with a warrant arrived two days later. She served them tea. She made new friends that day. They came back several times. They were always excited to see her.

One of the things that Roxanne never did well was paperwork. After the divorce, she never changed the beneficiaries on her term policy with my father or her retirement accounts. She did put Bill's name on the last IRA she opened when she switched jobs. Unfortunately, she emptied that account to pay for the investigator.

I would like to wrap up Roxanne's life. My mother felt she was an immature person when she first married and when she strayed from her wedding vows. She paid no attention to what her head told her about this man, only the illusion of pleasure he presented.

She admitted she was a weak person, concerned with only herself. She told us that she realized that she was casting her children adrift to be with this man. But once again, she was not personally strong enough to correct her mistakes and the damage she did to herself and others. In the past year she found her strength and made amends. She asked for forgiveness. Let us leave her with that, forgiveness.