Everyone Has Katie

Fiji was hot. Katie hadn't realized how hot it would be until she got off the plane in Nadi. The air was thick and sticky and still, and seemed to trickle into her clothes like syrup.

There were rice-paddies between the airport and the resort, and mountains in the distance. There were forests Peter said were full of mango trees. The hotel room had no glass in the windows, just insect screens and wooden shutters. There was a beach and palm trees and people to bring you drinks, and the wind rattled the palms outside, as a fitful breeze blew off the sea.

It was nice. Once Katie got used to the heat, it was nice. They sat on the beach and did nothing all day.

She spent three days enjoying it, enjoying being there, and then she looked at Peter's phone and everything fell apart.

He'd brought the phone, even though he was on holiday, and had been checking it fairly often for messages. He left it behind when he went to learn waterskiing, and Katie had started wondering if she'd missed anything important. She tried to check her own messages, but couldn't work out how to ring her own voicemail from a different phone from overseas, and somehow, while she was messing around, she ended up looking at Peter's email.

There were a lot of emails from Julie.

Katie didn't know Julie. She didn't remotely know Julie, and she remembered names fairly well. As far as she knew, Peter didn't have a friend called Julie, and didn't work with a Julie, but here Julie was, sending him dozens of messages.

Katie sat there, staring at the phone, wondering if she should look.

She was fairly sure she should. She was fairly sure she knew what those messages meant, and she couldn't quite believe Peter had been so stupid as to keep them, and not to delete them as soon as they arrived.

She hesitated a moment, then opened one at random. It was from a month ago and said Julie would see Peter there, and kiss kiss. That was pretty bad, Katie thought. You didn't get messages like that from people you hadn't mentioned to your partner unless there was something bad going on.

She opened several more. There wasn't anything completely incriminating, no dirty talk, nothing about how good the sex was last night, but she saw enough to worry her. Julie was around a lot, Peter was seeing her twice a week, or apologizing when he didn't, and seemed to be telling her when he'd had a bad day. Once he told Julie he'd try and get away and then sent a message to Katie to say he'd been late. Once he met Julie for a couple of minutes when he was out for dinner with Katie, and Katie thought she remembered that night, and Peter's long disappearance while they ate.

The restaurant message scared her more than the rest. Sneaking away to see someone for a few minutes, that meant you felt something strong for them.

She suddenly felt sick. She got up, ran through to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet for a few minutes, in case she threw up. She didn't, and went back to the phone.

She didn't know what to do. She wondered about putting the phone back and pretending she hadn't seen anything, but that was a bit spineless.

She tried to work out what she'd done wrong. They'd been together for six years, but as far as she knew they weren't drifting apart. They still talked, and did things together, and had sex what seemed a normal amount. They still kissed each other hello and goodbye every time one of them went anywhere. Katie had thought they were a good couple, with a good relationship, but apparently Peter didn't think so.

She decided she needed a drink. She took the phone. She wanted to finish reading, to see everything there was, but first she needed a drink.

There was a bar and restaurant in the middle of the resort complex, near the swimming pools and offices. She didn't bother with shoes, just took the phone and the room key and went towards the bar.

She passed a gardener with a wheelbarrow who said bula, which was what they said here, and she said hi back. Apparently you could be normal while your world came apart.

She got a drink, ordered one of the fruit and sugar cocktails the bar pushed on everyone, then changed her mind and told them to bring her straight vodka too. She drank the vodka and sipped the fruity thing as a chaser read through the rest of the messages. She didn't find anything that told her any more.

She didn't know what to do now.

There were a few other people around. Most of them couples, a lot of them older. The younger people at the resort seemed to stay up all night, and were probably still in bed.

There was one guy on his own, sitting at a table, sipping beer from a bottle and reading a book. He was kind of cute, in a scruffy way.

Katie watched him for a while. He didn't notice, was concentrating on his book.

He had good shoulders, she noticed, which she'd always liked.

She tried to pretend she didn't know why she was noticing that, but she knew. She knew exactly why.

He was the youngest guy in the bar, the only one her age, and she pretended not to know why she noticed that, either.

After a moment she got up and walked over and said, "Hi."

He looked up at her.

"I think my boyfriend's cheating on me," Katie said. "I don't know what to do."

He just sat there, and didn't say a thing.

"Yeah," she said. "Fair enough. Sorry. I shouldn't have..."

She didn't know why she'd bothered, or why a complete stranger would care. She felt awful. She felt rejected. Peter wanted Julie, and men in bars wouldn't even talk to Katie.

"Hey," the guy said, as Katie turned away, "Wait. Hold on."

Katie stopped.

"Sorry," he said. He put down his book. "Sorry, I was just... didn't know what to say. It was a bit out the blue. Sit down."

Katie sat.

"That's awful," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Not at all."

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not really. And you don't want to hear. I just wanted some company."

"Nah," he said. "Tell me. It might do some good."

So she did. That she wasn't sure, but really she was. That she didn't know if it was her fault. That she didn't know what to do now.

He was Mark. He didn't know what to do either, but he was sympathetic, and that was really all she needed.

Then Peter turned up. He'd found the room empty and come looking for Katie for lunch.

"Fuck off," Katie said, and pushed the phone towards him.

He didn't understand. He just looked annoyed. He looked at Mark and said, "Who's this?" and Mark stood up and said, "I should probably go..."

Katie grabbed Mark's arm. "Stay."

"Katie," Peter said.

"Look," Katie said to Peter, pushing the phone closer. "Just fucking look."

Then he did, saw the open messages, and said, "Katie, I didn't mean..."

"Just fuck off," she said.

"Listen," he said. "Just for a moment."

"Fuck off," Katie said. "Go away. I'll come back in a bit. Or I won't. But I don't want to see you right now."

"It isn't what you think."

Katie stopped and thought about that and didn't know why he'd even say that.

"Did you fuck her?" she said.

Peter didn't answer.

"Did you?"

After a minute, "Yes."

"More than once?"

Another pause, then, "Yes."

"So fuck off and leave me alone."

Peter looked at Katie, then at Mark, uncomfortable and looking away, then nodded and picked up his phone and left.

Katie sat back down and tried to decide whether to cry.

"Hey," Mark said, and touched her arm. "It'll be okay."

"It won't really."

He nodded. "I know."

"I think I want to have sex with someone else," Katie said. "I want to as well."

"Payback's good," Mark said. "That could work."

"Yeah," Katie said. "I think I want to. Like right now."

"Ah," Mark said.

"With anyone nearby," Katie said. "Any guy who happens along."

He was smiling a bit. "Right."

She looked at him. "Well?"

He didn't answer for a moment.

"It doesn't have to be very good sex," she said. "In fact it doesn't have to be good at all. Utterly crap is fine."

"Yeah..." he said. "I don't know if I want to get in the middle of this."

"I want you to."

He thought.

"Take me back to your room," she said. "And decide there."

He still didn't seem sure.

"Fuck," Katie said. "I don't really care if we do or not, but I want Peter to think I did. I just want to disappear with you for a couple of hours, okay?"

"Yeah," Mark said. "All right."

Katie stood up.

Mark looked at her for a while, then shrugged. "Okay."

"You're really hard to hit on, you know that?" she said. "Where's you room?"

He picked up his book and pointed.

*

It was awkward, but it wasn't. They went to Mark's room, and he was quiet as they walked, like he wasn't sure what to say. He led Katie inside, closed the blinds and locked the door, and then stood there and looked at her.

That seemed to her like they were having sex, even though he hadn't actually said he would for sure.

It was a warm day. She felt hot, and a bit sticky. "Can I have a shower?" she said. "Do you mind?"

He nodded, and showed her the bathroom. She undressed and got in the shower, and it was strange, just utterly strange, to be doing this so calmly, getting clean for someone else who wasn't Peter after all this time. She rinsed her hair, because it got sticky in a few hours in this heat, and borrowed Mark's razor and shaved everything, just in case she'd got scratchy since last night.

She turned off the water and wrapped herself in a towel and went back out to the main room.

"I might just jump in too," Mark said.

Katie nodded, and sat on the bed, and he went into the bathroom and closed the door.

He was quick. Quicker than Katie had been. He came back out with a towel around his waist, and he had a smooth chest, which Katie had always liked.

She'd never managed to get Peter to wax, after years of asking, and that always seemed a little unfair to her when she shaved everything below her earlobes for him, pretty much every day.

Mark sat on the bed beside her. Just sat, not too close, and looked at her.

"We don't have to," he said. "If you changed your mind."

"No," Katie said. "I haven't. I was just thinking."

"That's what I meant."

"I still want to."

"You don't have to do this, just to prove something to him."

"I kind of do."

They sat there a little longer.

"Yeah," Mark said, after a few minutes, "Do you want a drink or something?"

Katie kissed him.

He jumped, then kissed back. She closed her eyes, and opened her mouth, and felt his lips all soft and spread against hers, and the faintest scratch of stubble on his cheek.

She hadn't kissed anyone else in six years, and right now she couldn't think why she'd bothered being faithful. Kissing was good. Kissing was wonderful. This, a stranger's mouth on hers, was everything she wanted, and she should have been doing this all along, like Peter had been.

She put her hand on Mark's chest, just rested it there, on hard smooth skin. She put her other hand on his forearm, and thought about everything she'd been missing by only sleeping with Peter.

Mark kissed her neck, and she shivered, and decided there wasn't any reason to wait. She tugged his towel loose, unwrapped him, and reached down.

His cock was hard, and shaved, and pushing up towards her. She looked at it and got wet.

Until then, as far as she'd thought about it, she had really only planned to lie there and be fucked. Basically. She hadn't really wanted sex, she wasn't horny, she'd just wanted someone inside her, to pay Peter back.

Now she wanted sex.

She held his cock. She looked down, looked at it, and felt the hardness of him in her hands. She pushed her face against his neck, and breathed in his smell. She started moving her hands, slowly, wanking him, and he breathed harder, into her hair.

It had been so long since she'd been with someone new she'd almost forgotten what to do. After a while she undid her own towel, and pulled it off, and kept kissing.

He tipped her backwards, onto the bed, and slid around a bit. Moving meant she had to let go of his cock, and she really didn't want to do that. He started bending down, pushing her backwards, was obviously about to start giving her head, and she wanted it, wanted it desperately, was hot and aching for him, but she also didn't want to give up this new cock she'd just found. Normally she hated sixty-nining. Normally she got distracted giving, and couldn't concentrate on receiving, but suddenly she didn't want to take it turn and turn about.

Today couldn't wait her turn.

"Turn around," she said, tugging at him. "Up here."

He grinned at her, like he completely got her urgency.

"I want you in my mouth too," she said.

He kissed her some more, all turned on by that, and was leaning over her to reach, so she took her chance to slide sideways and try and get him in her mouth.

"Hey," he said. "Don't you want to be on top?"

"Nope," she said. "Hurry up. Come here."

He grinned, and got on top of her, his knees on either side of her head. She grabbed his cock as it went past her face, pulled it against her lips, and sucked him into her mouth. He groaned suddenly, and pushed down against her, and with that little groan it felt like some of the hurt from Peter went away. She liked it underneath, she decided. Mark was over her, all around her, enclosing her. She felt safe, surrounded by man. And he tasted good. He tasted like man. He slid into her mouth, pushing on her lips, hot against her tongue. She held onto him, pulling him down against herself, sucking, accidently getting in the way of his effort to reach her. She'd forgotten what it was like to do this with someone new, to feel a strange cock inside you, a strange body against yours, strange hands on your skin.

Then he licked her, and Katie couldn't quite think of anything but his mouth. She was wet and hot and aching, and his tongue pushed past her and inside her and teased her until she wanted to wrap her legs around his head and scream. She sucked him harder, and pushed up with her hips against his mouth, and tried to grab his head and hold it down against herself.

She wasn't sure how long they gave each other head. She felt dizzy with excitement at actually doing this again after so long. She felt dizzy with how good it was.

After a while she realized Mark was pulling away from her, saying, "Wait," and, "Hold on," while he tried reach down beside the bed.

He got a condom, and rolled it on. Katie sat up and watched him and wanted to giggle, for some reason. She wanted this. She wanted the newness and strangeness and the awkwardness of putting condoms on with people you didn't really know, over and over.

He tipped her backwards, and climbed on top of her, and she lay here and looked up at his face as he slid into her. His eyes were closed, and lips were pressed together, and his cock was hard and hot and new as it went into her. It was good. It was achingly, extraordinary good. He was big. Bigger than Peter. He filled her and spread her, and she pushed up against him and licked his ear and breathed in the smell of him as he started to fuck her.

She was almost angry. Angry at herself, at her stupidity in staying faithful to Peter for so long, when she could have been doing this, having new men inside her, feeling what she did right now, all that time.

"Stop," he said, looking at her.

"What?"

"Whatever you're thinking about. Stop. He doesn't matter."

Katie started to grin.

"Enjoy this," he said. "Stop worrying."

"Yeah," she said. "Okay."

He grinned and kissed her, and went back to fucking her.

"Don't hurry," she said. "Not if you don't want to."

"Okay."

"But do if you want to do that."

He grinned some more.

He got her to try different things. It had been years since she'd had sex for fun like this. Since she'd tried something just to see if she liked it, without everyone assuming they already knew she did. She tried on top and quite liked it. She tried sitting on the table and liked that more. She tried from behind, because Mark said he wanted to look at her ass, and even though normally she didn't like that because it was impersonal and usually went uncomfortably deep, with Mark seemed fine. So maybe she was more turned on than usual, or maybe he was just better at doing whatever he was doing. He kept swapping between giving her head and fucking her, and she was fairly sure he was doing it to make himself last longer. "Thank you," she said, and he grinned.

She wasn't close to coming yet, but she didn't think he'd been trying very hard to get her there, that it was still just having fun. She was a bit surprised when he suddenly closed his eyes and sort of groaned and said, "Oh shit."

He came. A guy who wasn't Peter came inside her for the first time in six years. She kissed his face and stroked his back and tried to pull him deeper inside herself. She realized she wasn't that disappointed. It had been fun.

"Don't worry," she said, "It's fine. We can stop."

"What?" he said, and looked genuinely surprised, then he grinned and shook his head and started going down on her.

"Don't be dense," he said. "Shit."

"Oh," she said, and wanted to giggle again.

Afterwards, sticky, she got back in the shower, and when she came out he gave her a beer and said, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," she said. "Because of you."

"No problem"

"Thank you," Katie said. "Really."

"Nah, I didn't do anything."

"You did. You have no idea."

A silence.

"I should get back," Katie said, thinking. "I should go and have this out with Peter."

"You can stay if you want."

"I'd better go."

"Okay," he said, and leaned over and kissed her.

"How long are you around?" Katie said.

"All week."

She hesitated. "Can I see you again?"

"Of course. Just come back. I'll be around."

"You don't mind? With what's going on?"

"Come back. It'll be fine."

"I might," she said, looking at him. She decided to be honest. "I will."

"Do."

She kissed him, kissed him hard and deep so he'd know she would miss him, and went back to Peter.

She didn't know what she was going to do, or what she'd done fixed anything, but she was glad she'd done this. It was better, she felt better, because she had.

*

Katie went back to her room, and sat in a wicker chair, hugging her knees, her legs folded up in front of her. She felt sweaty already, from walking, and she didn't know what she wanted to do next.

"I fucked Mark," she said.

Peter looked at her and didn't say anything. He seemed resigned, like he'd been waiting here for hours, waiting for her to reappear and announce something like that.

"You don't really get to make a fuss at this point," she said. "Do you?"

"I'm not."

"Good."

"Do you feel better? Can we talk about this now?"

"Not a chance."

He didn't seem to know what to say to that.

"I'm going to fuck someone else," she said. "I'm not done yet."

"Please don't."

"Maybe more than one someone."

"Katie..."

"Fuck you," she said. "You don't get to ask that of me any more."

"Ask what?"

"Ask me not to sleep with other people. I did, for you, for six years, and it was a waste. I'm not doing that any more."

He didn't answer.

"I'm making up for what you did," she said. "That's all there is to it."

"Please don't," he said.

"How many times did you fuck Julie?" Katie said.

"I don't know."

"So a lot. So many you lost count?"

He didn't answer.

"Well I'm going to have that much sex too," Katie said. "Lots of sex, as much as you had. Lots of sex, and maybe with lots of different people."

"I can't talk you out of this?"

"I don't think so. Not if you want to stay with me."

He nodded, and looked out the open windows to the sea. "I'm sorry," he said. "I really am."

"You cheat on me again and we're done," Katie said. "Obviously."

"I know."