Everything Happens for a Reason Ch. 02

Admittedly, my chats with Brian had enabled me to move away from torturing myself with old memories of Taylor. Brian had been good for me but I didn't trust my judgment when it came to him, so I just stayed away.

Brian finally found a way to reach me. He sent an e-card from a different e-mail address so that I would not notice that it was from him. I opened it up and it said, "Friendship is something you cherish and it can sometimes perish, but love is forever and it diminishes never. Jim, what I feel toward you is love, I am sure of it. Let there be no mistake. I want to be married, but I want you in my life, too, in whatever way works for us. I won't push you. I know that you wanted time to think, but damn it, where are you? Jim, I have been doing a lot of thinking as well. I decided that if you do not respond to this card that it means that you are saying good-bye. If that is the case, God be with you. Promise me that you will always take care of yourself, Jim."

Chills ran up my spine at that last statement...it struck a familiar chord. I had been suppressing my feelings for Brian in an attempt to stick to the "rules," and look at me now. I was a mess...he definitely had a huge effect on me, and I had never met the man. I had a big decision to make and I felt suddenly clueless.

One month later

The cars kept whizzing by. I tried to spot the PT cruiser before it spotted me, but I guess I wasn't quick enough. I had turned my back to the road and walked up to the rail and looked out at the expanse. I was at a viewpoint on Skyline drive in Virginia's Blue Ridge Mountains. The trees reflected every one of the fall colors. The sky was cobalt blue with puffy white clouds, but I still needed my sunglasses. The air felt crisp when the clouds temporarily blocked the sun as they scudded by. A buzzard was riding the thermals, just below me.

My ears were cold, so I lifted my collar up as the wind blew through my hair. I heard Brian pull up before I saw him. I turned around, and his PT Cruiser was about thirty feet away. I had planned this day for weeks and rehearsed every word of my greeting, but I was suddenly blank as to what I would say. My knees were shaking and my stomach felt like I was in a plunging elevator.

The plan was that we would both rent a car and meet each other half-way at this scenic turnout. Yes, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had come here to this secret meeting point to meet Brian, my Internet lover. He told me in his last e-mail that he had rented a PT cruiser, but he did not know what color. He had stated, "Just watch for a PT cruiser. How many of them do you expect to see on Skyline drive? :)" I had told him to look for a very nervous guy wearing a navy blue and red down jacket.

I watched Brian through the windshield as he turned the engine off and took off his seatbelt. He sat there a moment, looking at me. This was the moment of truth. I thought that he would never get out of the car. The door finally opened, and out stepped Brian. He had a huge smile on his face as he walked toward me. He stopped about six feet from me, and we both took off our sunglasses. What happened next made both of our hearts stop. "Oh my god, OH MY GOD!," I mumbled. I felt like I had just lost all touch with reality.

The world was spinning around me and I thought that I would pass out. I could hear the wind in my ears and the beating of my heart as it pounded in my chest. It just couldn't be, it was impossible! With all the strength in the world needed to do so, I remained standing as I looked at him.

I was dizzy and I wondered if my legs would hold me up as Taylor slowly approached me. He had not yet fully realized that he was seeing Trent, not Jim, but I could see that his mind was struggling with the concept. As for me, I could not have been more shocked than if a flying saucer had come down on the highway and he had walked down the ramp.

Our eyes were locked onto each other and time seemed to stand still. I could see that Taylor was in a state of shock. I thought that he would never speak. My eyes were wet as I watched him come closer, yet. "Can it be? Trent, is that really you?" I nodded, not able to speak. He exhaled loudly, and literally collapsed to his knees and put his head in his hands, almost touching the ground with his elbows. He jerked his head back up. "No way! No fucking way!" He then stood up and came face to face with me. "Let me look at you. My God, let me look at you." His eyes scanned my face and I will never forget the way that he looked at me. His next words will be written in my soul, forever. "This is heaven, and there is a God. Now I finally know. I finally know." He choked out those final words. We embraced and the world slowed to a stop.

How long we held each I don't know. We finally stepped back and looked at each other, our hands still tightly clasped together is if the other would disappear if we let go. "Please, please tell me that this is not a dream, Trent."

"Taylor. Oh Taylor. It must be. I can't believe this. I can't understand how this happened."

The years had been kind to Taylor. Like me, his dark brown hair was graying. Still very handsome, his hairline had receded a little and he had crow's feet, but he could have had a hunchback and he still would have been a vision to me.

Taylor was studying me as well. The tears rolled down our cheeks as we stood there, shocked to be so unexpectedly reunited. Soon we were rocking back and forth, not giving a damn what the passing cars thought of us as we embraced. Taylor broke away from me, ran to the edge, picked up a rock and threw it over. "Wahooo.....YESSSSS!!! I can't believe this is happening, JIM!" He turned around, then ran back up to me and punched my shoulder. "Yes, that would be you I am talking to, Jim!"

"Back at you, BRIAN!" We were laughing now, as we headed for his car.

We sat in the PT Cruiser until dusk. Taylor told me that he took the name, "Brian" on-line to avoid harassment. I had done the same thing by calling myself, "Jim." We both admitted how guilty it made us feel to lie about our names when we poured our hearts out to each other about everything else. He said to me, "Trent, at one point I swear your words spoke to me in such a way that it seemed like you. I even fantasized that it was you in some of our "cyber sessions."

"Taylor, I never ever stopped thinking of you, not for one day! That day when you made me promise to take care of myself and you said "Good-bye" was the hardest damn day in my life. I just didn't want to let go of you but I knew I had to do it."

"Trent, I can't say that I made a mistake by putting my family first back then, but I swear to God, I'm never saying good-bye to you again, ever, and that's a promise! You have NO IDEA how hard that was for me. I had many sleepless nights, and yes, there were tears. I did not know what to say to you when you moved away, because I knew that my feelings toward you would betray my words. Forgive me Trent, please say you forgive me. I was a freakin' coward."

"No, not a coward...just confused. The circumstances were against us, Taylor. I'm just amazed beyond words that it was you that stepped out of this car. Wow."

We decided that our reunion had to be more than coincidence. Powers greater than us had to be at work. We didn't want to jinx anything by questioning it. We were just so incredibly happy that we were together again. Taylor leaned over and kissed me. Looking into his eyes, I was happier than I had ever been. The sun dropped down below the Virginia mountains and the stars struggled to shine among the last pinks and blues of the high clouds as we shared the last twenty years of our lives. The sunset seemed to have been painted just for us. I knew that I would never forget this day.

"Trent, it's getting dark, we can't be making out here. What's next, where do we go now?

"Someplace where we can make up for lost time. Do you have anywhere to be tonight?"

"Yes, I have to be with you, and I am in a hurry, so let's go!"

We kissed again and smiled at each other with the confidence that this time it would work out, somehow. I jumped out of the PT Cruiser and got into my car and Taylor followed me down the Blue Ridge Parkway. I was not sure of our destination, but I knew there was one.

We had found each other, and I still could not believe it. It was such a miracle! I did not know what to expect next. I just knew that Taylor was right behind me on this highway, and that he wanted to be with me. We had both been through a lot of pain and heartache over the years, and we had unknowingly shared it all behind the façade of Internet screen names.

As we headed back down the mountain, I thought about Taylor and I wondered what was to come. Whatever it was, I was ready.