Eviscerated Love

They walked through the corridor that teemed with reporters shouting for comments, their microphones and pocket recorders waving in Alicia's face. The sound was drowned out of habit. Every day for nearly six months Alicia had come in and out of this courtroom being bombarded by questions and accusations. She had been instructed not to answer anything; regardless of what the reporters said or did and no matter how much what they said wounded her. She had thought about suing the TV stations for mental anguish. So many things they had shouted at her, about her, and about her sister had been insults meant to garner a response. Why it was they had to hang around and badger people in poor emotional states was completely beyond Alicia even before she had been the one on the receiving end of the torment reporters could savage. Alicia Jenkins's lawyer was speaking at her quickly, but she hadn't heard a word he had said. A hand rested softly on her shoulder, temporarily shifting her consciousness into reality. Alicia turned to see Officer Bailey Thomas, the officer who had been the man to work through the entire case. He reached a hand out to her and although his lips moved, she couldn't hear the words he spoke. She nodded meekly and let herself be guided, flashing a glance back at her sister's attacker who smiled and laughed and shook hands with his father and lawyer.

"Why don't we go for a cup of coffee or something, Alicia?" Bailey's voice sounded so far from where Alicia was in the fog of her thoughts and although he was trying to keep things chipper he was obviously upset. She smiled softly, not wanting to be alone. Her mind was not exactly her own today and she knew it.

"If you have time, it would be great."

Bailey smiled, his eyes looking down at his shoes. "I thought that someone should be here with you. It's been a hard time for you." He met her eyes and smiled a warm smile. "It's only fair that it should be me, right?" They walked the street to get away from the courthouse and everything it had come to represent in the last few days.

Alicia had no need of the white cardigan draped over her arm due to the unseasonably warm weather. It was nice to feel the sun on her face and smell the warm breeze that signaled the return of spring. The trees were budding and many people were in short sleeved shirts and sandals. It was days like this that Allison and Alicia used to go jogging in the park together, Alicia chatting about her boss and his thinly veiled chauvinism and Allison about clients she had to deal with at the law firm she worked for or her recent flavor of the week boyfriend. They would usually follow the joggers trail through the park and then stop for smoothies before they headed for home. Allison always got something with pineapple.

Alicia slowly became aware the conversation had lagged and Bailey was staring at her with a rather odd expression. "I really do appreciate everything you've done for me. You've been very helpful, especially with catching who did this to my sister, even if he did get off."

"I don't understand how the court system works, Alicia. I just work for it. And sometimes it is patently wrong. I can't explain it even though I wish I could."

"I know you can't. I'm just at a loss. I've had time to deal with my sister's death and although I am not over it by any stretch of the imagination, I have accepted that she is not coming back." Alicia shrugged hopelessly. "It's over now. It isn't fair, but it's over. And I just want it all to end."

Bailey squeezed her arm reassuringly. "I know this has been terrible for you. I hope that you heal quickly from it." He stopped to open the door of the coffee shop for her. "And that sounded really unsympathetic."

"You were being honest. I like that."

They selected a booth table on the heavy painted brick walls of The Central Grind. Alicia sat facing the large pane windows surrounding the door. "It's busy today. Why don't you just have a seat and I'll go get something. Maybe I can surprise you." Bailey smiled a cute smile with just the corner of his mouth and headed to the back of the line. Alicia sadly smiled and watched him. He had been very supportive of her though this whole thing and had not only been part of the team who discovered her sister's assailant, but he had also helped her with lawyers and the legal action she needed to pursue. He had been with her through the court battles and the varying grueling days in and out of the courthouse as an escort. Now he was buying her coffee. He really was too sweet.

Alicia's thoughts were finally freed from the prison she had locked then in through the entire trial. She wondered what Allison had been thinking the night she was murdered. Did her thoughts drift to friends and family? What about her life and what she had done and still might have left to do? Did her killer even care? Alicia was certain the man they had prosecuted was the killer. Jason Altwater, son of a business tycoon that owned not only an oil company but also an expensive importing business and jewelry chain. Their family had more money than they could have ever used and then some. His daddy had enough money to silence the Pope and made no secret about throwing his money around to make sure whatever he wanted happened. It would have been unacceptable for any blemish to stain the family name, so of course daddy had cemented the mouths of any potential witnesses or informants with money. How could she have ever expected justice to be had when he had so much on his side and she had nothing?

How could a jury have heard the same evidence that she had heard and still plead innocence? Alicia closed her eyes and shook her head, rage clutching in her belly. Jason had said that Allison was of "questionable character". The entire trial he had played at an act of innocence and would stop at nothing to prove it. He was nothing more than another spoiled little rich kid using daddy's money, power, and influence so he could do whatever he pleased, including murder, and not have to pay the price. It was too much. If anything could have gone worse than the trial, Alicia would have been surprised.

"I'm very sorry to hear about your sister." The voice was too familiar.

Alicia's eyes snapped open. Her brow furrowed as many things ran through her mind, but nothing came forward enough for her to say it. She just sat and stared at him with a darkly confused look. "I'm sure you know my name by now. You've been hearing it for the better part of an entire year, you know?" He smiled as he jotted a name and number on the napkin sitting in front of her on the table. "You're very beautiful, you know. Maybe if you got to know me a bit better you wouldn't think me capable of doing such atrocious things to young girls."

Alicia took the napkin and looked at it for a moment. Her face contorted as she crumpled the napkin, and then stuffed it into the lapel of his jacket. "Stick it up your ass."

He only laughed and pulled the napkin back out of his pocket. He smoothed it out on the table in front of her. "You might want to consider hanging onto that number. I'm sure you'll change your mind." He rose from the table with a smirk and strolled back out of the coffee shop.

"I would look into a restraining order, Alicia." Bailey set a large china mug in front of her on the table as he watched Jason's retreating figure dance through the front door. Alicia stared up at him, her expression blank, and the noise fading to white. He didn't say anything, simply waited.

"I wish this shit had never fucking happened to me."

Bailey snorted his coffee. "Where did that mouth come from, Alicia? In the amount of time I have known you, you haven't ever used those words. Are you sure you're alright?" Alicia couldn't tell Bailey what she was thinking because it sounded crazy even in her own head. She eyed him wearily.

"You know, I thought I was up to this but I'm not. Can we please go home?"

"I'll just go get us some travel cups and we'll be on our way, okay? Give me just a minute." Alicia watched until Bailey's back was turned, then picked the number up from the table and stuffed it into her purse.

~*~*~*~

"Whenever you're sick of me, Alicia, you can tell me to leave and I will go home."

"I asked you to come in when you dropped me off, remember?" She smiled a very soft smile and moved over on the loveseat to make room for him. He took the cue to sit down beside her without a second's thought. Alicia sighed softly and leaned over against him, wrapping her arms around the arm closest to her. "Could you just..."

Bailey didn't allow her to finish. He set his coffee cup down on the polished wood end table and wrapped both arms around her shoulders to pull her in close to him. She burrowed into his arms curling against the warmth of his chest. Bailey rubbed his hand across her back, rested his chin against her head softly and felt her skin warming under his touch. Bailey had been the only person to have stuck with her through the whole trial. The only people outside of him that she could call friend were just people she knew from work. Her love life had been less than eventful, having put relationships off until she had a secure place, having been taught that men only wanted successful and independent women to provide for themselves. That way when you gave up your life to them to play housewife and mother, it would mean more to them. She hadn't really minded because she didn't need anyone else. Alicia had always had Allison. Now Allison was gone; really and truly gone, and she was alone. The grief struck like a bowling ball to the gut and she reacted in kind. Bailey's hand slid under Alicia's chin and lifted her head gently, his eyes probing hers. Her eyes met his and she felt the pang of loneliness in her chest as a single tear rolled down her cheek. They paused and looked deep into the other's eyes. She was tired of being alone and thought it silly to fear being alone, dying alone, and never sharing love with another person.

Alicia jumped forward, kissing Bailey with the passion mixed from repressed tears, pain and fear. Bailey stiffened in shock before melding into the kiss, holding Alicia tightly. She yanked at the button on his pants. It plinked off of the table lamp and left the shade trembling. Bailey's eyes widened. He held Alicia at arm's length, her head jerking back in the quickness of his movement. She looked alarmed.

"Alicia, what are you doing?"

She blinked and stammered. "I... I just... I thought you... I..." Her head drooped. "I lost my parents when I was nineteen and now with my sister gone, I'm just lost." Alicia bit her lip, fighting back the tears rather unsuccessfully. "Now that... thing... has gotten away with murder and my last real human connection died and died for nothing." The tears streamed down Alicia's cheeks, dropping silently on her brown tweed skirt.

"Alicia..."

Alicia's eyes shot back up to Bailey's, raw pain shining in them with the dew-like tears that graced her soft blonde eyelashes. She trembled slightly as her hands wrapped around his shoulders, gripping them tightly. "I need somebody. I want that somebody to be you. I saw it, Bailey. I saw it in your eyes. You feel the same way I do. You don't want to die alone, having never shared yourself with someone who will remember you. I can't think of anything worse than dying unremembered." They stared at each other for a very long time, neither of them saying anything. Alicia's eyes shone like sapphires, small wisps of her honey gold tresses clinging to her face. Bailey's eyes showed his indecision. It was obvious that he wanted her, but she was also distraught and might regret her decision in the morning. He warred with himself silently, weighing each of the options carefully. Alicia's voice was soft and pleading, "Please, Bailey."

Bailey scooped Alicia off of the couch and walked through her kitchenette and up the stairs. "If we are going to do this, Alicia Jenkins, we are going to do it right."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Alicia waited for Bailey's breathing to slow before making her way to the bathroom. She welcomed the soft silk of her dressing gown and tied it around her waist, then went downstairs. She took a glass from the back of the sink, rinsed it once before filling it with water, drank half of the water and dumped the rest down the sink. The sky began to streak with pink and orange and yellow from the setting sun as she stood staring over the horizon. A bittersweet smile crept over her face. Alicia had always thought she would be dialing her sister on the phone after her first time, giggling madly and exchanging tips. Instead she was standing cold and alone in her kitchen.

Allison had always been the more promiscuous of the two of them. Alicia was the sweet little good girl. It was no surprise. Allison had been the prettier of the two twins and, even though you couldn't tell at first sight, they had been fraternal twins. A picture of the two of them on the stand caught Alicia's attention. She sat delicately on the sofa and fingered the frame. She stared at the photo and smiled even though her eyes were rimmed with tears. "I wish I could tell you all about it, Si. He's a wonderful guy. Then again, you would probably tell me he's too vanilla and relate one of your crazy stories about night club bathrooms. He's really nice to me, Alli." Her eyes scanned the photo and her sister's smiling face. Alicia clutched the photo to her chest and allowed the tears to fall down her face. She didn't care that it had been a year since her sister died. She was still dead and Alicia was minus a sister, confidant, friend, and family. Allison was the last living relative Alicia had.

Still clutching the photo, Alicia rifled through her purse for the phone number she had gotten earlier. He had been acquitted of the crime and couldn't be tried again, so maybe he could tell her some details of her sister's last moments. All she needed was some form of closure. She picked up the phone and dialed the number, her hands trembling, and listened as it rang.

~*~*~*~*~*~ "Thank you for seeing me tonight."

"It's not a problem. You know, I am really shocked that you decided to come and talk to me. I know you didn't think I was innocent today in the court room or when I talked to you at the coffeehouse." He pulled out a chair for her to sit, which she took gladly. "I'm not such a bad guy, you know?"

Her eyes flicked to his. "You've said that before, Jason."

His brow furrowed. "Your sister must have talked to you about me, then. Can I offer you a drink?"

"Mm. Yea. Something strong."

"Your sister loved to party. Would you like to visit her favorite room in the house?" He smiled the most perfect playboy smile he could muster as he handed her the drink he had prepared for her.

"Sure."

Jason took her hand, led her out of the lounge and down the hall. The moonlight peeked in through skylights and touched on the panels of art framed along the walls. Jason pushed open a door and gestured inside, allowing her through in front of him. What met her eyes was a recreation of a medieval torture chamber. Manacles lined the north wall and thick English oak tables, well scarred with use, were along the west wall. She walked into the room and took in the ambiance, running her hand along the dark grey brick, the rugged points snagging against her fingertips. It was cool to the touch. She lifted one of the chains from the manacles. "This was her favorite room, was it?"

"It sure was." His voice had picked up a dark tinge that made her shiver to her toes.

"What did you do down here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice soft, gentle, and completely innocent.

"Your sister was quite the sport. Would you want me to show you what she's done? Just to warn you, it might shock you a little bit. I'm sure you knew your sister as a really sweet, kind girl who wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Yea, that sounds about right." The corner of her mouth turned up in a wry smile.

"Such an impish grin you have!" He laughed and lifted her chin with one finger. "I bet you're not as innocent as you look, are you?"

"You might be surprised, actually. Let me show you, won't you?" She walked toward him and coyly sipped her drink. Jason grinned and stepped backward for each step she took toward him.

"Should I beg for mercy? I am not very experienced at being the, you know- but I know that I like to hear them scream. I am always willing to try new things. Do you usually play in a dominant position?"

"I don't know. I would imagine being a submissive."

Jason sat his drink on one of the heavy tables and whipped open the cupboards. "You will find several toys and so forth. If you can't find one of your liking, I am sure we can improvise." He strolled casually over to one of the tables and ran his hand over it lovingly. "These tables have been well worn. I imported what was left of them from someone's garage. I suspect that they used them at one point and time for the same thing I use them for. I would kill to get a set of tables actually used for torture." His eyes flicked up. "I'm sorry, what was your name? I didn't quite catch it. Alicia, isn't it?"

The butler entered the chamber with a cordless telephone in his hand. "You may wish to take this call, Sir." His eyes darted nervously between both of them and although he kept his composure, it was obvious he was uncomfortable.

"Later. I'm busy." Jason's eyes danced. "I have a guest, can't you see? Take a message and I will call them back later."

"But, Sir, it...."

Jason slammed his hand down against the grooved oak table. "You heard what I said!" His voice took on a sinister edge. He stalked closer and put his face in the face of the now slightly quivering servant. "Take a message. Hang up the phone. Now leave."

The man simply nodded and turned away, his eye catching and holding with her own blue eyes, causing her to shudder involuntarily. The door closed tight as the man left with the telephone in tow. This all was familiar to her, as though she had lived it before. She closed her eyes hard and when she opened them, Jason was back to rubbing the same slightly worn spot on the table as he had been before.

"So. Shall we?" It had taken strength to regain her voice. She gestured to the table. Jason was slightly frightening when he was angry. The quicker she could get him into the manacles, the more comfortable she would be. He looked at her with a sly glance and slid onto the table. Wasting no time, she locked him into position. Both his hands and feet were manacled and padlocked. She reached under the table where the spare keys were kept and tucked them into her pocket.

"You left my clothes on. How exactly do you expect to get anywhere while I still have my clothes on? You know, your sister said that to me when I locked her onto the table here." He watched for any change of expression on her face, exceptional confidence painted completely across his.

"Yes. And you know what you did?" A menacing smile crept across her lips. "You cut them off." She ran the blade along the leg of his pants.

"Hey, now, those are Versace. Don't." Jason tried to watch what she was doing, but it was difficult for him to raise his head.

"You have money. You can buy more. You don't have to worry about it. Besides, you won the court case and are going to be sending my sister into bankruptcy. She only ever cared for me, you know. I was the only family she had left. You went and killed me." The knife slashed the fabric from cuff to crotch on his right leg.

"You do know that your sister is the one who is dead, right?" Jason's brow furrowed. "They found me innocent of that crime. Or are you just having a little fun roleplaying? Tension relief?"

She ran the knife from cuff to crotch once again on the other leg and moaned loudly. "You know, this IS fun. I wonder why I never asked to take the reins the last time we played together." She turned the knife over in her hand and sliced a neat line up both sleeves.