Excuse Me Miss... Ch. 05

Jeremy regretted what he said to her before he even got home. He knew he had blown it, he had done the very thing he swore not to do and lost his temper with her just when she needed it most. Of course the fact that she had so determinedly slammed the door on any future for them he felt made his actions somewhat justified. Still, he regretted doing what he did.

The next day's train ride home was difficult. He didn't seek her out and she clearly meant to follow through as he saw no sign of her either. As the week passed it both became easier and more unbearable an absence if that was possible. He settled back into his life without her, but the more he did the more it only drove home the feelings he had had for her that had caused such a passionate reply to her rejection. When he could not stand it anymore he went seeking for her to apologize, but found her nowhere on the train. Realizing she must have switched trains to avoid seeing him, his heart sank. He of course knew where she worked and lived but if she was so determined to avoid him as to switch her train he figured it was best that he try to let her go.

That was all he thought about her until out of the blue he got a phone call from her. He was severely tempted to ignore it and move on but he knew he still loved her despite all she had done. So, against his better judgment, he answered the call, "Hello?"

"Jeremy, thank god, please don't hang up," came the reply. It was frantic enough that he was immediately concerned for her well-being, and despite his promise to himself he would remain passive and listen he asked,

"Alicia? What's wrong? Are you ok?" with a little more concern in his voice than he would have liked.

He heard a brief sigh of what could have been relief and swore he could hear a smile in her voice as her tone lightened, "Oh god nothing like that, I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to curse me out and hang up." She paused but before he could reply she quickly added, "I do need help, though, and I realize you have no reason to ever do anything for me again, but I'm in over my head and you're the only one I know that can help. I have all my friends coming over tomorrow afternoon for a party and I said I'd grill and I don't even know how or even own a grill. I can't ask my parents or brother because they live in Colorado and all the friends I know here are coming tomorrow and I assured them I had it handled. Please help me, I have no idea what I'm doing and you were so great cooking on the fire when we went camping I know you can bail me out, please?"

Jeremy rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. Of course he was going to help her and she knew it. She knew he loved her and couldn't refuse a chance to be her white knight; a part of him wanted to say no and leave her to fix her own mess, but he couldn't

"Of course I'll help, but if you don't even have a grill yet we'd better get moving."

"Oh good, thank you so much Jeremy, I really owe you one."

"My pleasure, always glad to help a friend out of a jam." They then agreed upon a place to meet and look for a grill. He hung up, grabbed some tools, and headed straight for it, still not believing he was doing this.

When they got to the store she gave him an awkward hug and thanked him once again then they set off to the task at hand. Alicia's unit only had a small balcony and she clearly didn't use a grill too much so they settled on a small propane model. Jeremy made sure to recommend one large enough to handle enough volume that dinner the next day wouldn't take forever, but not so large that it would take up half the balcony and leave no room for anything else. They loaded the box into her car and, realizing she had forgotten the propane, she went back to get some and he, sighting a grocery store nearby, said he would meet her at her place; he had to make one stop first. He quickly stopped off at the store before making his way to her condo.

He arrived only a few minutes after her and together they unloaded the box and carried it to her unit, then he went back to his car to get his tools and his purchase. He placed the bag in the refrigerator and said, "you'll see what that is later" in response to her questioning look. She shrugged and they went to open up their some assembly required project. They then spent the better part of the next hour putting it together, which to his surprise was more pleasant a project than he expected, though still not without the usual frustrations that come with anything 'some assembly required' from a big box store.

When it was all put together, placed in its new home on the balcony, and working properly, Jeremy went to the fridge to retrieve his mystery bag. He produced a box of hamburger patties and American cheese.

"It's tradition that a new grill need to be christened with meat upon assembly," he said with a smile.

"Oh it is, is it?" she said with a slight chuckle.

He turned solemn, "Don't you laugh, Miss, this is serious business. The grill gods must be honored or they will put the hockey puck curse on your grill. Everything you make will be as black and as hard as a hockey puck for so long as you own that grill if proper homage is not given. I've seen it happen to even the best griller."

She turned equally solemn, "Oh well, then we best honor tradition, proceed good sir."

"Oh no Miss, the tradition states that the master or mistress of the grill must be the one to perform the rights or the gods will take offense. It's your grill good lady, so it is you that must cook the offering."

Alicia looked a little concerned and whispered, "Enough fun and games, Jeremy. I have no clue what I'm doing and I for one want no part of E coli." Then after a pause she added, "and nor do my friends tomorrow for that matter."

Jeremy smiled, "I know that and I'll help you of course, but you should be able to make something on your grill without me being here to help and this is pretty simple to do. Don't worry, I'm still coming tomorrow to cook. I just figured I'd teach you something tonight."

She smiled and said "I'd love that, thanks."

Jeremy then showed her what to do and assisted her as she tried. Not too long later they went inside with a plate full of their handiwork.

"I guess that wasn't so hard. I'm still glad you'll be here to help tomorrow, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Thank you again for showing me that."

"My pleasure. Shall we eat then?" She agreed and they sat down to taste their handiwork. Both found it delicious and once they were finished eating they had a brief discussion about what to make for the next day. Alicia said she had a recipe for chicken caesar salad she wanted to try and that this had all started with some steaks she had received as a gift so they could use those. Jeremy took stock of what she had of what she had in the fridge and agreed that that was a good plan, though they would need a few more due to the number of people coming. He agreed to get some more on his way over the next day. He offered to grab any sides she might need but she said those were all set between her and her friends.

When they were finished an awkward silence replaced the fun atmosphere that had previously been present. To end the discomfort he rose from the table and said, "Well, I'll be going then; it's getting late and we have lots to do tomorrow."

She nodded and saw him out, "Thanks for your help Jeremy, I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem, as I said always glad to help a friend."

Alicia looked as if he wanted to say more but only said in a quiet voice, "Good night Jeremy," and closed the door.

The next day he arrived early to help her set up a bit and after getting the grill area set to his satisfaction came in to give her a hand with some of the last minute items she had. When people arrived, though, he retired to his station to begin work on the chicken for the salad and spent most of the time outside avoiding the guests and trying to stay out of the way.

When it came time for the steaks it was one of Alicia's friend's husbands that brought them out along with the orders of how each wanted their steak cooked. Jeremy thanked him and turned around to set to work and was surprised to find the man still there when he had closed the grill. He nearly ran into the man as he stepped back.

"So sorry, I didn't realize you were still out here."

"Not a problem. I'd rather stay out here for a bit if you don't mind; it's getting a little warm in there," the man said with a smile. "I'm Jake by the way," he said, holding out his hand.

"Jeremy," Jeremy said, shaking Jake's hand.

"Nice to meet you, you need any help by the way?"

"No, no I've got it, but thanks."

"So are you a friend of Alicia's, or something?" Jeff asked, clearly trying to be a little too casual for him to not know how Alicia and Jeremy knew each other.

"You could say that, yes. We sort of help each other out of jams now and again, I suppose you could say."

"Right!" he said, "That's where I've heard your name before! You were that guy she took to her cousin's wedding."

"That's me," Jeremy said with a forced smile as it was clear Jake knew exactly who he was and was playing dumb on purpose. Jeremy was only wondering how much he knew and how soon he would get to the point of coming out here. To cover his frustration he turned to the grill and checked the steaks a little longer than necessary.

"That's a nice grill. I expected Alicia to have a little charcoal kettle or something, looks pretty new, too."

Not appreciating the obvious dig at Alicia and the leading question Jeremy quickly replied, "Yes, well Alicia is a smart and capable woman who can fend for herself and what's it to you if she doesn't use her grill much? I can honestly say it's been used by her at least once before I used it."

Jake was obviously taken aback by this, "Whoa man, calm down. I didn't mean any offense. I love Alicia, but she just doesn't strike me as the grill expert is all, and between you being here and that new model you're cooking on I figured she had help is all. It's good to see she had good friends to look after her is all, we worry about her especially in light of her recent struggles with men."

Jeremy nodded at this and replied, a little embarrassed, "Sorry, I just don't like people thinking too little of her is all, she does enough of that already. That jackass Joe is to blame I suppose."

"Right, definitely. Of course word is she had another guy recently that did a number on her too, she never said anything to any of us, but my wife figures it was pretty serious and then it just ended."

"Yeah, well, shattered confidence is a tough thing to fight against. Her brother told me at the wedding any guy who wants to be with her long term is going to have to have the patience of a saint, and god knows I don't. Between you and me, though, she had a narrow escape with that Joe guy. That man, if you can even call him a man, snake is more fitting, is the biggest piece of work I've ever seen. Case in point I'm almost certain I heard him fucking one of the waitresses on my way back from the bathroom during the reception. Can you believe that a man would cheat on his wife with a random woman mere hours after taking his vows? That cousin of hers has a long road ahead of her married to that prick, that's for certain."

"Wow, that is something. Doesn't surprise me in the least though. I never met the man myself but the way my wife talks about him I'd believe him capable of anything."

Just then the door opened and a woman stuck her head out and, looking at Jake, said, "There you are Jake, you're needed inside."

He smiled, "and speaking of my wife, there she is. Jeremy this is my wife Hallie, Hallie this is Alicia's friend Jeremy." Jeremy exchanged greetings with Hallie then she and Jake went inside.

After that no one ventured out to speak with him and once the steaks were finished he brought them in and went back out to clean up. As he was doing so he saw Hallie approach with Alicia behind him in some sort of disagreement. The door opened and Hallie stepped out with Alicia in tow and said, "Jeremy, please come join us. Even if Alicia is going to be a rude hostess I won't be a rude guest." Jeremy looked at Alicia, whose face smiled a silent apology for her friend intruding.

He smiled, "No, that's ok, I was just leaving. I have somewhere to be in a little while and I don't..."

"Surely not so soon that you can't eat with us quickly. There's so much food and it'd be a shame for you not to try your excellent cooking and we'd all like a chance to get to know you a bit. After all, Jake tells me you're a friend of Alicia's as well and that you went to the wedding. Alicia's hardly said anything about it. Please do come in and eat with us, I insist." He hesitated, looking at Alicia, who looked away. Hallie elbowed her friend and said, "as does Alicia, I'm sure, as there is just so much food." Alicia gave in at last.

"There really is Jeremy; unless you really have somewhere to be please do stay," Alicia said quietly. Jeremy nodded and set down the brush he had been using.

"In that case how can I refuse? Let me just wash up," he said.

"Great!" Hallie said and went inside followed by Alicia who mouthed an apology as she was pulled inside by her friend.

Jeremy went in and to no surprise the only seat left was next to Alicia. He sat down and despite the obvious setup by Hallie had a more pleasant meal than he expected. Though they asked him a lot of questions about himself and as promised asked for details about the wedding, all and all he found it a decently pleasant meal and found her friends to be a good group overall, the interrogation aside. To his complete surprise during one of the questions he felt Alicia's hand reach for his under the table. Pleasantly surprised, he accepted her hand in his.

When the meal was finished the talk moved to playing games and Jeremy rose to leave.

"Well, this has been fun, but I'm afraid I really must be going. As I said, I have somewhere else to be tonight and I've intruded on your gathering long enough. I'll finish cleaning then I'll head out." Before anyone could object he went outside and set to work on the grill, not sure why he was so adamant about leaving, but just knowing he could not allow himself to hope Alicia had forgotten what had been said or that she had changed her mind. He had very little to finish and before long he was done and, gathering up what he had brought, he made his way to the door, steeling himself for one last goodbye.

As he went to say goodbye Hallie said, "Jeremy, you can't really be thinking of leaving us so soon, you're not intruding in the least. In fact we'll be short a player for the game we have in mind if you go. Please do stay."

Jeremy looked to Alicia, but she would not look at him, and forcing calm into his voice he replied, "That's very generous of you, but as someone once told me in this very spot not too long ago I think it's best if I go. That's the best thing for everybody, I think."

With that he walked out, and forcing himself to be calm, began to make his way to his car, realizing that he had probably walked out of his last chance with the woman he loved, but not being able to bear forcing his company on her any longer, not unless she was willing to say she felt the way he did. It was clear she would never be ready to do that. He knew that, and with amazing clarity he had made the decision to let her go. Heart-wrenching as he knew it would be, he knew it to be the right and noble thing to do in the end.

He was almost to his car when he heard a voice cry out, "Jeremy, Jeremy, please wait." He turned to see Alicia running down the street. His heart leapt in his chest, but he was resolved and it held. He would accept nothing less than he deserved and as she approached he said so.

"Alicia, stop. I'm sorry if I was rude, I'm sorry to leave like that, but I deserve more than to be your friend. I deserve more than to be the guy you call when you have an emergency. The guy you toy with when you're feeling up to loving someone and being loved.

"My feelings for you have not changed one bit since we last said goodbye, but I won't wait for you forever. I deserve, no I demand to be loved. That is not so much to ask, you of all people should understand that after what that vile excuse for a human being did to you. I will not be treated like this, not by you. Not by anyone, but especially not by you, who I love with all my heart in spite of my attempt to forget you. I desire nothing more from you than your love. If I were to have only that I would be the happiest man on earth for the rest of my days. You've made it clear, though, that that is something you can never give me and it is something I cannot live without. So I'm sorry if I've been rude, and I apologize for what I said the last time we parted, I truly am, but I will not be treated like this. I deserve more. So, goodbye Alicia, I hope you find someone you find truly worthy of your love and I hope he knows how lucky he is and that he treasures it more than anything in the world."

He gave her one last kiss goodbye then turned to go to his car, but was stopped short by two quietly spoken words, "He does." Jeremy turned around to see her crying.

"Excuse me?" he asked, not ready to believe what he had just heard.

"I said, 'He does'," she replied, a smile forming as the tears flowed down her cheeks. "Because you're the man I love Jeremy, I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I love you so much I'm scared, but then one memory of your love wipes it all away. I never thought after what Joe did I could ever trust anyone this much, much less love them this much. I never thought anything could make me feel this happy or warm inside again, but your love for me does that. It scared me how much you meant to me, I could only see what I had to lose. You were right to say what you did when you left. I was a coward too afraid of being hurt to grasp the lifeline you had thrown me. Well, never again. You're right, you do deserve more than I have given you, and you shall have it. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me from this day forth. My heart is yours, my love is yours, and all I ask is that you take care of them and treasure them as I would your love and your heart. I love you so much Jeremy, and I'm so sorry it took so damn long to have the courage to admit it. Can you ever forgive me?"

He smiled, and wrapping her up, he kissed her long and deep and in that moment nothing else existed. She was his and he was hers and neither wished for it to end.

"Of course I forgive you Alicia. I love you too much to ever stay mad at you."

She smiled and kissed him, wiped the tears from her face and said, "Good, now will you please come inside and play. I'd like my friends to get to know my new boyfriend a little better."

"Boyfriend, now is it, eh?" he said smirking.

"Yeah. Got problem with that?" she asked, a big smile on her face, taking his hand as they walked back.

"Not at all, my darling Alicia. Not at all," he said, smiling, as they headed back into to her building and into whatever the future would bring them.

Epilogue

The next few months for the happy couple were a whirlwind. Not long after that memorable party they were engaged, to no one's surprise. It was clear that they both made each other so happy and that Jeremy had done the impossible in erasing any trace of what Joe had done from her memory, though Joe could of course not be completely forgotten.

Curiously, though, there was some silent delight from that part of the family as time went on. It turned out Jane had clearly been pregnant before the wedding, which is why Joe married her. It also became clear that Jeremy had heard Joe cheating on his wife at the reception with a waitress when said waitress came forward as also pregnant with Joe's child. However, Jane wouldn't divorce him despite his misdeeds, both for the sake of the child and because she had really only married him for his money.