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Once her orgasm had subsided, he repositioned and started to fuck her with long, hard strokes. She wrapped her arms around him and clawed at his back as he took possession of her, kissing and biting her as he did. He lasted longer than she could have hoped, and when his breathing changed and he grunted in her ear, she came yet again. He filled her with his cum, making her feel even more his. He lay atop her until his erection subsided, then moved off and lay beside her. She lay there panting and clinging to him, changed forever.
* * * *
Over the ensuing months, he had taken her to places she had never dreamed of going. The modest good girl in her still remained, so each episode was a mixture of fear and desire, each one ending in her thanking him as best she could. She could quite effectively.
So here she was. A handkerchief, a book, and a knife. She had no idea what he had planned for her, but she knew for certain that it would affect her deeply in a multitude of ways, as it always did. She took a deep breath and watched as he walked into the room with a devilish smile on his face. He approached her, and, as she expected, she was both surprised and delighted by what he used those items for.
- COMMENTS
Tx Tall Talesalmost 10 years agoWarning: My comments will tend to be harsher than complimentary. It is meant to help. I hope that by identifying what *didn't* work for me, the author might have some insight into areas of improvement, so far as one reader's opinion goes. I didn't read the other comments, until composing my own.
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* First impression during and after the read. *
Moves along nicely - never a big fan of the point-by-point physical descriptions. Prefer to let that appear piecemeal through the early story.
Also not a fan of a lot of 'Oh', 'Well', and 'So' to start sentences. Can almost always be deleted.
Her dialogue makes her seem weak, immature. Especially for a 25 year old with an important job, creating a million dollar budget, and getting hired by Google. Seems clueless about marketing. ROI on ad campaigns is essential as are extensive metrics.
Hot scene of his first controlling her, up until the last paragraph before the break. Awkward read, had to read it twice to understand the last few sentences correctly.
Second time ellipsis was written with four periods .... - please stick to three. Other than that, very clean grammatically.
Enjoyed her anxiety while he trimmed her. Nice sneaky trick, using the back of the trimmer to get her off.
I'll never complain about a good story that is LitEROTICA.
Story seemed to end pretty abruptly. Would have enjoyed some conclusion, and/or an actual use for the items, beyond referencing them once at the beginning, and again at the end. Maybe a final scene, using the items.
Overall, a fun little sex romp, but nothing memorable.
* Favorite Elements *
Smart to get her out of the office, before starting to play. Wondered if he had anything to do with it, although there were no hints.
The no-nonsense bar pickup worked for me.
Initial control in the bedroom scene, having her strip, pulling her hair, bringing her to orgasm. Very effective.
I liked the shaving scene, especially the conclusion with the back of the shaver. Creative and hot.
* Issues *
Not enough tension for me, no drama. The 'few months' between their first intimate meeting, to him shaving her seems like a strange gap. I'd have liked some buildup there.
She seemed kind of simple minded and inept. I prefer stronger women. Personal feeling only.
Not enough passion, couldn't really feel her desire, need, or his, except when he had her undress and gave her the first orgasm.
Unsatisfying ending, seemed to leave me hanging.
jomaralmost 10 years agoNot much to add and I concur with the others. I did wonder why Barb was so clueless about how things worked businesswise.
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoI read this story in the evening rather than before work, I'd be a lot better off ;). It was certainly sexy, and the sexual tension between Bob and Kay was well-conveyed. It definitely could be developed farther, along the lines stl suggested. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it a lot for what it was and I would have stayed with it to see where it would go from here. I actually rather liked the mere peek at the items first and last.
