Failing Upward Ch. 15

"Hm-m, you sound sure, but you don't act sure. Better come in."

I could do this. He smiled at me and I smiled back. I turned off the car.

I opened the car door and got out, looking over my shoulder. That's when I noticed the white SUV parked across the street. Fuck, it looked like Shackleton with some other guy I didn't recognize. Probably some minion. That's what I got for becoming so distracted with Sid. I kicked myself silently for becoming too comfortable and believing Shackleton would actually leave me to travel off to some time or place away from here. I took another quick look. No, it was him or some other version of him watching me, watching us from across the street.

I wasn't sure whether to get Sid back into the car and drive off or follow Sid back into the house and call for help. I decided to pretend I didn't see Shackleton and make for the house.

I couldn't follow Sid into his house quickly enough.

"What's wrong?" Sid asked, as I nudged him the rest of the way through the door. "What's this all about?" I shut the door behind me.

"Shackleton is outside," I said under my breath as I threw the deadbolt, "I just noticed him when I got out of the car. Hurry, give me your phone..."

I calmed myself and turned to watch Sid. He rushed over to the coffee table and grabbed the phone. As he walked back to me, the phone rang in his hand and he froze. His shoulder tightened then relaxed as he looked at the caller id.

"It's home... it's your uncle," he said, handing me the cordless.

A familiar voice croaked "Hello?" Shit, I was so happy to hear Les's voice I wanted to kiss him.

"Yes?! Thank you," I half shouted. "Les, get Uncle Daniel on the phone right now! Shackleton is here. He's outside Sid's house--"

"Fuck!" Les shouted. "I knew something was wrong-- I knew it!" The phone clattered as Les dropped the phone. I waited. Then I heard a dial tone.

"Disconnected," I said, throwing the phone on the couch. "Doesn't matter. They'll be on their way in a moment. Until then, let's hope Shackleton and his friend aren't wise to us and try to break in."

Sid had moved and stood flush against the wall, straining through his picture window's blinds to see the front door. I stepped next to him to look; a man in a dark trench coat stood with his back to the front door, watching the street. I could hear Sid whispering instructions into his cell phone when I heard glass breaking and a loud thump from the bedroom.

"They're in the house," he whispered into the phone. "And the doors are blocked."

Sid pulled me away from the window when I heard the frame from the backdoor groan and splinter just as Shackleton came out of the bedroom. Blood pounded in my ears and everything slowed.

Trent broke through the back door.

"Shit." I sure as hell wasn't sticking around with Sid to find out whose side Trent was on in this universe. With a crash, I flung Sid's old rocking chair out the picture window as Shackleton raced across the room. Trent tackled him as I smashed my hand against a glass claw hanging down, then yanked Sid out the window behind me, trying my best to defect the glass from Sid. We rolled out the window, over the juniper bushes below and into a dirty snow bank. The momentum left us both on our knees in the melting snow. My keys were still in my hand but now they were soaked in my blood. A large shard of glass stuck out between two of my fingers. I was numb. Sid pulled me up to my feet. Our friend who was the door was on top of us, and he swung at Sid, catching him on the chin. Sid barely flinched. The air was quiet around us. I could hear Sid taking a deep breath then his arm came up. Sid slammed a solid punch in the guy's gut, bending him forward. As out attacker straightened his frame, Sid quickly hit him in the jaw. He spat out his blood on his sleeve then reached inside his coat and came at us again. Great, I thought, A fucking switch blade. To make matters worse, I watched in slow motion as the front door opened and Shackleton appeared. He came down the steps and made a straight line to us.

I shoved Sid toward the car, then turned and hit the man looming over me in the eye with everything I had. I felt the sickening crunch of the glass grinding against my bone and his as I turned my fist. He screamed, dropping to his knees with the blade still clutched in one hand while the other clawed at his face. He made a wild jab with his knife just grazing my arm as I sped off to the car.

Shackleton was behind me, as I jumped in. Sid was already inside. He hit the automatic door lock the moment I was inside. Sid made our get away like in some old gangster movie, tires burning rubber as we high-tailed in reverse then spun out fish tailing forward down the quiet little suburban street.

"Shit, sorry about the window," I said, swearing as I ripped the glass out of my hand. "How much do you think it will cost to replace it?" I felt Sid's eyes studying me. I looked over at him, rolled down the window and flicked the glass out it.

"Don't know-- never jumped through it before this..." he answered. looking behind us. He wiped the blood out his eyes where it trickled from a cut Sid had on his forehead. Other than that he looked unscratched from where I sat. The gash didn't look too deep, but probably would need stitches. Pretty lucky that was all that happened back there.

He checked behind us again then began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"All this," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "God, all the trouble you went through for Shackleton to not know about me, and he still knew. He's known for a hell of a long time. I actually talked to the son-of-a-bitch months ago before you disappeared. I noticed him watching the house, and I confronted him. He told me he was a private investigator watching the neighbor's house. Said the husband hired him to find out if his wife was going out on him. Man am I gullible."

"I guess Trent must know too," I said.

"Trent? You mean that guy you said helped you before?" he asked.

"Yeah, and I'm glad he was watching today. That was him that came through the back door and tried to stop Shackleton. Hope he's ok. You know the guy has been pretty much a pain in the ass in each universe, but he's true to what he believes in each. I can't help but like him. He came through for us here."

I wiped the blood from my hand revealing a neat scar underneath.

"God, that's amazing. Wish I healed like that," he said, pointing to his forehead.

"No you don't," I sighed. I patted his knee then gave him a sad smile.

"I guess not."

I watched the road ahead. I could have lectured him on why he didn't want to be like me, but I was too tired and too over-wrought to explain the cost of becoming immortal.

I saw Sid turn around and look again. "He's not following us."

"Of course not-- he doesn't have to. He knows exactly where we're going."

"How are you going to explain me? Hey," he said, pointing in the other lane. "Isn't that your Uncle Dan?"

He honked the horn as the car sped past us. Sid slowed and looked into the rearview mirror. I turned to see the break lights come on.

"Uncle Dan already knows who I am. But he doesn't know about us. At least I don't think he does. Not sure what I should tell him about that." Sid slowed the car as Uncle Dan pulled around and pulled next to our car. "Maybe I'll tell him the truth," I said quietly.

My uncle rolled down his window, and Sid did the same.

"You ok?" Uncle Dan asked.

I nodded back. "Fine. We're both fine, but Sid will need some stitches I think..."

"Meet you back at home. We'll take care of your friend there. I'll follow you."

Sid rolled the window back up and turned to me.

"The truth, and what would that be?" he asked me.

"What ever my heart tells me..."

Instead of being tough I let it all out.

I could do that in front of him. If he wasn't driving I would have grabbed and clutched and thrown my face blubbering into his jacket. Yeah, tough me. Instead I used the back of my own hand to wipe my snot and tears. Not very absorbent.

What I really needed was reassurance. Holding him would probably give me that back. Instead he held me. He leaned into me, his arm enveloped me and he kissed my neck then rested his forehead against my temple while I silently cried. I began to feel that spark and light inside me again. I needed him. Warmth spread, and for a change it wasn't just my hormones in overdrive. After I had a good cry, I told him that I would love him in any universe. I told him what to expect from his Wes when he returned to him. I told him that if his Wes never returned, I would be here.

For him.

I told him I would yell I love him from my aunt and uncle's roof top. Then I put my arm around him while he cried.

--------------------------

Uncle Dan's car was parked in the back. I was surprised but thankful to see my uncle beat us home. We wouldn't have to face Glenda's wrath alone.

She stood on the porch, waiting. Sid and I sat in the car as it idled for a few minutes in the driveway. He grimaced then reached over for my hand, and I leaned into him as he turned off the car. The cut on his forehead looked nasty. His eyelids fluttered as my finger tips lightly traced the cut.

"Better?" I asked. Sid bit his lip and nodded-- then he looked into the rearview mirror, lightly touching his forehead, wiping away the blood. His own finger traced the clean scar where the gash once was. He looked at me confused.

"How?"

"I don't know, I just do it," I answered.

"This is amazing. You didn't tell me you could heal people. Just think of the money you could rake in as televangelist."

"Well, it's not something that I want to become common knowledge. It's one of those abilities the Community and Shackleton covet. I wouldn't normally do it, but I don't think you're going to get to a doctor any time soon."

He squeezed my hand and then feigned a cough. "Can you get rid of a cold?"

I blushed thinking about touching his chest. I laughed then looked toward the porch.

"Well, not today," I said, nodding to Glenda. "I guess we should get out and get this over with..."

We walked up to the house like two inmates on death row. She fixedly stared at me then Sid. I glared right back at her. She scowled down at Sid's forehead as I climbed up the front stairs, two steps ahead of him. It seemed to me she should act more concerned than pissed off. Christ-- we were both covered in blood. I looked into her face. Her lips and brow were an unforgiving line. I knew she'd witnessed everything in the car-- that was kinda the point of my little exhibition when I healed him. I figured it would save time if she knew what Sid meant to me, that he knew what I was, what we are, besides he had needed attention. He was in pain. As I brushed past her, my hand intentionally came in contact with hers, hoping to get some insight into what she was thinking with some of my psychic sense. Maybe I could pass on a bit of what I was thinking to her. Most times my powers came and went like so much wind, but this time they worked-- like 2000 volts I saw into her. She knew. And she didn't like what she saw.

Well fuck, this wasn't going to be pleasant.

As I walked into the house, I felt something was off. I've heard of times when people know something just isn't right-- like moments before a car accident or some natural disaster. I've had some of those moments recently, too. As I listened to the old grandfather clock tic-tocking, I felt the universe miss-- like it was out of sync. I balled my right hand into a fist. I felt my finger tingling where I'd touched her hand. I was unsure and afraid of what to say. I wasn't at all positive that she wasn't a threat to Sid.

As she followed us into the living room, I got that familiar ache behind my eyes. Tension headache number 2,012. Finding out that I wasn't the 'Wes' she thought I was didn't make her too happy either. She already figured that bit of the puzzle out at breakfast this morning. Those pancakes were made with love for someone else named Wes, not me. I knew she was afraid of Shackleton. But it was Sid whom she feared most right now. I knew it wasn't going to be easy convincing her that Sid could be trusted without becoming one of them. She hated the idea of bringing a mortal, no matter how noble, into their inner circle.

I was glad to see my uncle in the living room. I hoped he was on our side. He sat cross legged on the old couch, his rumpled gray suit coat strewn over the arm of the sofa.

I collected my nerves and pulled Sid's hand, leading him to the piano bench, intentionally divorcing us from them. The legs of the bench scraped against the hardwood floor, reverberating in the hollow room. We both sat down. The bench was hard and unforgiving. Sid was at a loss, his hands fumbling for something to do. I shoved my hands between my legs. He looked to me for a sign-- some help I was. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed his hand.

Glenda's eyes turned to ice as she stared at our clasped hands. Not the right move on my part.

My voice came out squeaky. "So you know. I'm sorry. I can't help what I feel." I felt like a kid.

"Feel? Can't help what you feel? Control yourself," she paced the room. "You must or all is lost. Plotting out all the possible ramifications for each action you may take-- that is the way. Shackleton seeks pain for a reason. Feeling makes us weak. He would make us all feel as you do. Bring us down. Break us as he did you. He may have the secret now. You do not have to act on what you feel. Think! Separate yourself! Feeling causes pain. Chaos. It destroys."

She stopped pacing and stopped, facing us. I couldn't believe she had everything so wrong. She thought Shackleton wanted my ability to feel pain so he could use it against immortals. No. He wanted it for himself.

Her eyes narrowed on Sid. "And you!" she hissed. "What are you? What kind of spell do you cast that causes such desire, such pain, such chaos?"

Sid opened his mouth to speak, but I cleared my throat and found my voice instead: "You're wrong. Sid is not the cause. Neither is pain. Feeling doesn't have to destroy. You've forgotten what it's like. Pain can be a blessing. It is what kept me alive all that time when I was buried alive. I didn't age, didn't break down. Shackleton took nothing from me but time and blood. He never touched my mind or heart. My thoughts were my own, my heart is my own. He took nothing important from me. Nothing that mattered. Look at Shackleton. It's easy for him to inflict pain. He feels nothing. In his twisted way, he's living through others' pain. He doesn't want to give pain away. He doesn't want to shove it on you. He wants it for himself."

"How do you know this? Did he tell you?" asked my uncle.

"I experience it..."

"I think it's pretty evident," Sid interrupted. "Tormenting others is just a plus for him; it's not his goal. He wants power. He wants what Wes can do. Move from one universe to the next."

"You!" Glenda exclaimed. "What do you know about any of this?"

"I know he's a power hungry manic," he answered. "I know Shackleton's insane."

"Why did you bring him into all this?" she asked me. "Why did you?"

"I ask myself that all the time. Do you think I want to put someone I love in this kind of peril? Shackleton knows about him. He knows Wes loves him. He knows I love him."

"So he's using him against you? That's just perfect! This needs to end. End it now with him."

"I can't and neither can your Wes... I love him."

"Love?" she spat. "That is the source of all weakness."

"You say you love me. Do you think that is a weakness?"

"Yes. My only weakness is that I love. You, Les, my brother... It is the only source of pain I feel."

"You should feel it. How can you truly love if you don't know pain?"

"Enough of this," my uncle interrupted, turning to me. "You seem to think you know what Shackleton wanted from you. Tell us if you know."

"I'm not sure. But Sid's right; he is crazy. The insane aren't run by logic. He thinks he knows what he wants, but he doesn't. He thinks he wants to be a god: travel through universes; feel passion and pain; he wants it all. He wants control. He believes my blood carries the answer. I don't know if it does."

"I suppose you think he wants love, too." Glenda spat at me.

"Ultimately, he does-- but he doesn't know it." I squeezed Sid's hand. "He's searching for it-- but you can't find something when you don't know what you're looking for."

She looked at Sid.

"What are we to do with him?" she asked me.

"Nothing. Leave him alone. What threat is he to any of you? The only threat he holds is in your mind."

"And when you leave, and our Wes comes back to us, do you expect us to just ignore him?"

"His name is Sid, and no, I don't expect you to ignore him-- I expect you to embrace him."

"You expect too much."

"Mom used to tell me that I should set my expectations high," I said.

"Your mom expected so much of others she ended up dead."

I was dumbfounded. What did she know about my life? My parents? She could never take that verbal slap in the face back.

"You don't know what I came from. You don't know who I am. I hope I can return to my universe or time-- Wes in this time won't let you touch him either. Hurt him and you hurt us. Harm him-- now or in the future-- we'll all find out exactly how much power I hold. I don't think you want to know. You think love is your weakness, but it's not mine. Love is the source of my strength."

-------------------

We came to a compromise. Sid and I slept in separate rooms. I'd keep my distance for now. I was satisfied Glenda would leave Sid alone. What went unsaid was making Sid like us. I didn't want to bring it up in front of Sid. He didn't need to know this was even an 'option'-- not in this universe.

The night before, I knew Sid would be safe in the room next to me. Uncle Dan stayed downstairs, talking with Glenda late into the night. I stole downstairs and talked to them both-- without Sid.

As I got ready for my night's performance, I patted the baggie in my front pocket. This had to work. I'd flatted out the sand in the bag and crammed it into my leather jeans and practiced reaching into my pocket with my guitar in my hand. The leather pants were kind of tight, but I could manage to get my hand down in them fine.

Then I did the Coach Davis pep talk in the bathroom mirror. I yelled so loud at myself, Les knocked at my door to see what was wrong. Then I impersonated my high school chem teacher, Mr. Dammarest, giving his pre AP exam pump up. Being nervous and hyped was good.

Les and I left late to go to the Road House. I'd be nice to see the place again when it wasn't a charred heap like it was in my universe. We left late because I was nervous. I wanted to see the place again, I wanted to set up, get ready, prepare myself-- but I spent half my time talking to myself in the mirror, trying to get into the right state of mind. How the fuck does anyone gets into the right state of mind to jump universes?

Sitting in the car mindlessly watching the houses go past as Les drove, all I could think of was how much I wanted Sid, but he rode with my uncle. The last hours we'd been kept separated. I believed putting space between us was best. I didn't trust myself with the roses so close and Sid so near. Keeping him at a distance was my uncle's and my way to appease Aunt Glenda. I felt like I was in withdrawal with him so near. My stomach lurched. My hands shook. Christ, when I saw him I broke out into a sweat. I kept blaming the fucking roses. I hoped denying my fix would work to my advantage. Yeah, being edgy will take me back to my Sid. I was terrified tonight would work, and I was terrified it wouldn't.