Family Secrets Ch. 1

It seems that I have come across a very strange part of my families history while shifting through some old letters that were left by my deceased Mother. While cleaning out the papers in her desk I ran across what looked like old love letters. As my eyes shifted across the creased paper sickened yet intrigued by the hard to read words on each page, I realized that these were not old love letters to boyfriends past but a crude makeshift diary of my Mother’s life. I was excited to read them, I had never known who my father was, and maybe these pages would reveal the name of the man that got my Mother pregnant.

It started out as any girl’s diary, with dreams of what kind of life she’d live, how rich she would be, how handsome her husband but towards the middle the years jumped. It had gone from the innocent dreams of a young girl to the desires of a young woman. The entries jumped from her 12th birthday to her 18th and there was the secret that she had been hiding from me all those years.

“Hello it’s me again. My 18th birthday was yesterday and I got a present that I will not soon forget. He came into my room while I lay there trying to sleep. He sat on my bed and brushed the hair out of my face, smiling all the while. Then suddenly he brought his lips to mine and kissed me with such passion that I jumped back. He hushed me, told me to be calm, as his hands began to explore my breasts over my sheer nightgown. I was so scared but it felt so good that I couldn’t tell him to stop. He quickly pushed my gown up, revealing my body to him; again he smiled before bringing his lips to my nipples. He sucked gently, taking his head back and forth between the both of them as he moved, positioning himself on top of me. Before I knew it I felt his maleness invading the dark recesses of my womanhood. I cried out in both pleasure and pain as he entered so deep into me. I felt a desire, like a ball of fire in my belly begin to rise, sending me over the edge of complete passion before he emptied his seed into me…”

I sat back, taking all of this in, who was the “he” she was referring to? Could it be my Father? My mother had never married; I was born out of wedlock, which had brought some type of shame to the family. I could see it in my Mother’s eyes when she’d look at me though she tried to hide it. I sat back up and continued reading.

“It has been three weeks and everything is still pretty much the same. He comes into my room almost every night and takes me. I’ve tried to tell him to stop but my own lust gets in the way and I cannot control myself. I now have another problem, on the nights that he doesn’t come in Kevin does. Kevin has confessed his love for me and seeing him sit there so sincere I couldn’t refuse him either. Kevin is much gentler with me, taking the time to make sure that I enjoy it just as much as he does. The other night he went from kissing my neck and breasts all the way down to my pussy and there began to kiss and lick it. I thought that I was truly going to die of pleasure. His tongue working slowly on me bringing me to an orgasm that I can’t describe sends chills through my body now thinking about it. I’m so confused now, I can’t refuse either one of them though I know how wrong it is….”

I lifted my eyes from the pages again. I only knew of one Kevin and that was my Uncle. Surely she couldn’t have been making love to her own brother. I thought back to all the times that I had seen the two of them together and there were never any guilty or loving glances from them so it just had to be someone else. I sat confused, there were two possible people that could be my father, the “he” that she hadn’t yet named and this Kevin. I hoped that reading further would give me the truth on which my father was.

“I am so ashamed! I’ve been sent to the sick room, locked inside this room with no windows and only a cot for a bed is driving me insane. The stale smell of this room makes me sick to my stomach but I guess that is what I get, my punishment on earth for getting pregnant. I sit wondering who’s it is my Father’s or my Brother’s and I also fear this child. Will it come out looking hideous, or will it be normal, I just don’t know! I’m surely condemned to hell for this! I’ve taken to putting my ear to the floor at night and there I can hear my Father and Brother in the library arguing. Kevin has confessed that he is possibly the father though my Father has not said anything about his part in this too. They argue about the baby inside of me, Daddy wanting to get rid of it as soon as it’s born and Kevin telling him that I will have the baby no matter what and I will keep it. He thinks it’s the only way that I will keep my sanity, but I’m not sure of that either. How I wish Mamma was still a live, then maybe none of this would have happened or if it had then she could tell me what to do. I have decided that when Kevin brings up my supper tonight that I will tell him that he is not the only possible father. I hope that he understands….”

My mouth gaped open as I read this entry. The baby she was talking about was I; I was the product of incest. Tears came to my eyes, a mixture of pity, anger, and disgust for my Mother. My hands shook, my stomach tightened, and I felt as if I was going to be sick from reading all of this. No wonder why when I’d bring up anything about my Father she would turn pale and wave her hand at me, telling me that it wasn’t important, to just be glad that I had her and that I was safe and healthy. I had to fight with myself to read on part of me wanted to get up and run from these pages but another part wanted to see what else was on them. The curious side won.

“It is now December and the baby has been born. I’ve named her Charlene and after close inspection have found no deformities in her at all. She is beautiful and already has some intelligence in her eyes. Daddy died in November from cancer and I was a little relieved from this for surely if he had lived I would not have my child now. Kevin has been bouncing around, happy to have “his daughter.” I never had the heart to tell him that the child could have also been Daddy’s. My Father did make sure that before he died that it was known that I was pregnant. People had been asking why I had not been to any social events in town and he had told them that I had had an affair with a farm hand and that I was now pregnant with the man’s baby. This also ensures that I will never be married, I think he wanted it that way. No respectable man would take
me now.”

I didn’t break this time and kept on reading.

“Charlene is only two months old and I have once again found myself in trouble. I couldn’t hold back from Kevin and my lust
has made me pregnant once again. We’ve talked about it and decided that it would be no good to keep this child.”

That was it, there were no more entries. I sat back in my chair lighting a cigarette; I might have a brother or sister somewhere. I had to find out where my sibling might be and there was only one person that had the answer. I crushed my cigarette in the ashtray, grabbed the makeshift diary and my coat, and left.

I made the drive to my Uncle’s house. I knew he’d probably be asleep but I didn’t care, he was going to provide my with the answers I needed.

I went to the door and knocked loudly, waited a minute for him to answer, when he didn’t I began to ring the doorbell. Finally, I heard noise in the house and the foyer light come on. He opened the door and smiled when he saw me. He had to have been asleep for a while, his graying hair was disheveled and he squinted in the light.

“Hey Kid! What are you doing here so late at night? Is everything okay?”

“No Uncle Kevin everything isn’t okay. I need to speak with you.”

He had a confused look on his face, which quickly turned to sadness. I knew he had to be thinking that I was missing my Mother too much to sleep, boy did I have a surprise for him.

“Come on in Honey, I’ll make some coffee.”

I shuddered as I thought about what I was about to do. How I was going to bring down the world of lies he had made for himself in trying to forget who I might really be. The thought that I might be his daughter or his sister made me sick.

I sat at the dining room table as he brought me a cup of coffee. I didn’t know quite how to put what I was about to say to him and just blurted it out. “Where’s my brother or sister?”

He choked on his coffee, “what?”

“You heard me Uncle Kevin or should I call you Dad or maybe even brother? You didn’t know that Mom had been with Grandpa too did you?”

His eyes opened wide and he got a look on his face like someone had punched him in the stomach. “Yes I did she finally told me years later. How’d you find out?” Anger now replaced the pained look on his face. I threw the pages of writing at him, “it’s all in there.”

I took a sip of my coffee and watched as he pushed the pages that I had thrown at him aside as if he’d catch his death if he touched them. His face turned a sickly pale as he stared at the papers then turned red with embarrassment as he realized that I had read the description of his and my Mother’s love making. He glanced up at me a couple of times as he tried to collect his thoughts, a vacant look in his eyes.

“I can’t deny it now that you’ve read it huh?” A small smile crossing his face.

I didn’t find it funny, this was nothing to make light of, “No Kevin, I think not.”

“Look Charlene, you can be mad at me if you want but we kept this from you for good reason. You couldn’t have handled it when you were younger; you can’t handle it now. I’m sorry you even found out about it.”

“I’m not worried about myself Uncle. I want to know where my brother or sister is.”

“Your brother, I don’t think would appreciate it if you just barged into his life and told him this secret. He doesn’t know anything about it. That’s the way we wanted it. When he was born we gave him to a couple that worked for us with the understanding that he’d never know. Then we left the farm, going our separate ways to ensure that this would never happen again.”

“But why? If you had me then why couldn’t you have kept him also?”

“Honey, your Mother had all ready been shamed from the story that our Father had told right before he died. If she had had another child so soon after you than she would have definitely lost all respect in the community. We had to do it.”

Tears came to my eyes; “it just seems so cruel for a child to grow up not knowing who its parents are.”

“It was better that way. See the pain it’s caused you since you’ve found out.”

I nodded my head, “so where is he?”

“I’ve no idea Sweetheart. We never kept track after we left. We only made sure that he was healthy and that was it.”

“Could the family still be at the farm?”

“I don’t think so.”

I got up grabbing my coat.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the only place that might provide the answers I want. Plus I can’t stand to look at you right now. You make me sick”

A pained look came across his face, “Charlene I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh don’t try and act like a father figure now. I think it’s a little too late for that.”

I brought tears to his eyes this time with my hateful words but I couldn’t help the way I felt. He nodded his head and got up to escort me to the door. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight before I left. I tried to move from his embrace but he was too strong. I knew it was his way of saying he was sorry and for a brief minute I thought I could forgive him. I could also see why my Mother would have fallen for him. His strong arms felt good around my shoulders and his lips so soft as he kissed my forehead. I shook myself, getting these thoughts out of my head as I walked out the door. He raised his hand good-bye and told me to be careful.

As I pulled into the drive that lead up to the house where my Mother grew up in I began to become a little nervous. Maybe Kevin was right; maybe I shouldn’t go looking for my brother and ruin his life when I told him that all he had ever known were lies. Though these thoughts crossed my head I had to find out, I had to know the truth and if I happened to find where my brother was I’d go to him and tell him, it just seemed right to me.

I parked my car and looked up at the house. I was surprised to see lights on; Kevin had told me that no one lived here. My heart beat faster as I went up to the door, it was still technically the families house but I knocked anyway, it would be rude to just barge into the house scaring whoever was here.

The door opened and there stood a man about my age. My words caught in my throat as I looked at the handsome face of this guy. His eyes were a brilliant blue, his hair a dirty blonde color, and his skin was dark from working outside. He was tall and muscular, and as I stood there I thought he looked very familiar. He smiled at me, showing a row of perfect white teeth.

“Hello.”

I cleared my throat, “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone lived here. My name is Charlene Landon. My family owns the house.”

“Yes, I know who you are. I’ve been waiting a long time for you.

My brow came down in anger, “what is that suppose to mean?”

“Please come in and let me explain.”

I entered the house, jumping when he shut the door. I had a feeling that I was about to hear things that I didn’t want to and really wished now that I hadn’t have made the trip.

“Please make yourself comfortable in the living room. Would you like something to drink?”

“Coffee.” I figured that what he was about to tell me was going to be long and I needed something to keep myself alert. He nodded and made his way into the kitchen as I settled in a chair by the fireplace. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm my nerves.

He came in and set the serving tray on the table, “how do you take it?”

“Lots of sugar and cream.”

He fixed me a cup and handed it to me.

“Let me introduce myself now. My name is Carl and I’m the brother that you came looking for.”

I about spit the sip of coffee I had just taken out, “what? But how did you know who I was? I just spoke with my Uncle who said that you had been given up and there for never found out.”

“Mom never told him that she came back after they left.”

He laughed at the confused look on my face.

“See, though our Mom and Kevin left Mom never really wanted to. Kevin made her for fear that the townspeople would find out their secret and they’d both be thrown in jail, our Mother could never stay away from me. She told me all about you and how it was her father who had gotten her pregnant. When I asked how she knew for sure it was him she told me all she had to do was count back the days and she knew that the night you were conceived it was with her Dad. Then she told me how she couldn’t keep her desire from her brother in check and from that I was born. It had been Kevin’s pleading that made her give me up. She never wanted to. Kevin had become too ashamed to go on with any of it and that’s why he told you not to come here. He was afraid that you’d find me and it would start all over again.”

I could feel that all the blood had run from my face. I was stunned; he waited patiently for me to get my thoughts together. Finally my head cleared, “so Mom came and visited you often?”

“Pretty often, at least once or twice a week.”

“And your parents were okay with that?”

“My “parents” died a long time ago in a car accident.”

“Oh sorry to hear that.”

“It’s all right.”

“I don’t understand how she could have trusted you with this but she couldn’t trust me with it.”

“She wanted to badly but she didn’t know how you’d react, plus I gave her something she knew you’d never give her.”

“What was that?”

“Sex.”

“What?”

“That’s right Mom did me the same as she was done and on my 18th birthday she gave me my first sexual experience.”

“That’s disgusting. I don’t care to hear anymore.” I got up to leave but he grabbed my arm.

“But you have to hear it. It’s part of who you are, it’s your legacy per se.”

I snatched my arm away from him, “What in the hell are you talking about?”

“See, Mom had been ashamed of what she had done, and what she was doing with me but she liked it too much not to say no to it. She liked the fact that she was fucking her son that her brother had made and it’s in your blood to do the same thing.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit.”

“Is it Charlene? I saw the way you looked at me when you first saw me. Have you had a man yet? You’re what 28 and never been fucked right?”

“My sex life isn’t your business.”

“Ah but it is. I’m the man you’ve been looking for.”

“No you’re not. You’re my brother or my nephew or however the fuck that works out.”

He brought his hand up to my cheek and wiped away a tear that had escaped, “don’t deny it Charlene. I’ve been waiting on you for a long time. Mom wanted you so bad but she was always afraid that she’d scare you or make you hate her. She’d tell me as she rode my cock how she’d love to see you sitting on my face at that very moment, how she’d cum so hard if she could taste your pussy just one time, or how she’d love to sit back and watch as I fucked you. She’d tell me how badly she wanted you beside her sharing my cock as she was on her knees sucking me off.“

My head was spinning from all he was telling me but I could feel my body responding as I thought about sharing him with my mother. My clit began to throb as I thought of how her tongue would have felt on me as I watched Carl fuck her from behind. I felt my juices begin to run down my legs as I thought about how his cock would taste as mine and my mother’s tongues circled around it, or how his cock would feel inside of me. I shook my head violently trying to get these images out. I began to sob harder, “No, no, no Carl! It can’t happen. I’m not my mother. I won’t give into any sick desires.”

He brought his lips to my cheeks, moving them down to my neck, “but you have to Charlene. It is who you are. It is what this family is; though you’re crying I can see the desire in your eyes. Succumb to it Charlene, start living your life the way it’s suppose to be with me as your lover.”

I wanted to push him away from me, but I couldn’t. His lips felt so good on me. “This family has been like this for decades. Mom’s mother was her Father’s sister, and so on and so forth. We are a family built on incest; it is what has kept us going. It is why after everyone in this town lost their land and their money we still ruled. We are strong because we’ve never let any strange bloodline enter this family. We are all made of the same blood.”

He moved his lips from my neck, to my breasts. I hadn’t realized that as he was talking he had unbuttoned my blouse. I jumped as I felt his lips wrap around my nipple. I didn’t know if I was dizzy from the desire building in me or from everything I had just learned in a matter of an hour. I could feel myself losing the battle; I was going to end up just like my Mother. I couldn’t fight the lust that was rising in me so I gave into it.

I began to moan as his head went back and forth between my tits, sucking and nibbling on them gently. When he brought his lips to mine I kissed him with as much passion as he showed me, moving my tongue in and out of his mouth as if I were fucking him.

I didn’t resist as he stood me up to remove the rest of my clothing and his. Once we were completely nude I dropped to my knees to taste my brother’s cock for the first time. Slowly moving my tongue around the head, tasting the sweet drops of precum that had already begun to flow. As I took him into my mouth he moaned and began to gently pump his hips into my lips, “Charlene you are such a good girl. I knew you would give into me.”