Feeling Strange

Sophie shook her head. She had to get it together and start concentrating! The sheep would end up all over the farm if she wasn't careful. She shooed the last one of them inside the gate and carefully closed the latch behind it. She dusted her hands off on her jeans and started the trek back to the farmhouse, the sun setting behind her as she walked.

Sophie wasn't sure what was going on, but lately she'd been having all sorts of trouble keeping her mind focussed on her jobs. She had just turned 18 and it seemed that ever since her birthday, her concentration was getting worse and worse. She found herself daydreaming at all times of the day these past couple of weeks; whether it was when she was at her desk during school hours, or when she was doing her after-school chores around the property as she was this evening, or even when she was on one of her morning rides with her horse Captain. She couldn't pinpoint what her mind was fixating on when she lost concentration. It was nothing really, just this funny distracted feeling. Almost flighty, like her mind knew there was something she SHOULD be thinking about, but didn't know what that was yet.

Sophie was the only child to her parents, who owned Marsden, a large property in far western New South Wales. She had been home-schooled since she was old enough to 'go to school', but thanks to the many staff on the property she had never felt lonely. Some of the jackaroos and jillaroos had been working there from even before Sophie was born, so she practically grew up with them. In fact, as she headed towards the house now, she knew that any of these jillaroos and jackaroos within easy riding distance would also be converging on the house for dinner. The fifteen or so staff of Marsden were treated like family and anyone who wished to join Sophie and her parents for meals was always welcome at the big table in the main house. Annabelle the cook did a great job catering for the staff. Those who chose to also had the option of dining in the private staff quarters if they wanted their own space for the night.

Sophie sighed as she walked the final length of the path towards the house. It was great being surrounded by an 'extended family' all the time, but sometimes she just wished she had a best friend to talk to. Someone her own age. The girls on the airwaves at school were nice, but it wasn't the same as seeing someone face to face. She didn't really have anyone to gossip with and share the secrets and turmoils of growing up. Her parents as well as the staff of the property had always talked to her as if she was already an adult. If she had a girl her own age to talk to, she could ask whether this distracted, flighty feeling was normal. Sophie was mature for her age, and appreciated being treated like an adult, but people tended to forget she had only just turned 18. The next youngest person in the whole place was Tom, and he was 31!

Despite the difference in age, Sophie felt closest to Tom out of everyone on the property. He had been working here with the horses for as long as she could remember, probably since she was about eight years old. Ever since she was a kid she had known she could go to Tom with a problem and he would make the time to listen to her. He was a good listener, and just as good teasing her and paying her out! Despite all that, things had been feeling strange lately even with her relationship with Tom. Sophie sighed again and pushed open the door of the house.

Tom was inside the house, watching Sophie walk up the path. He hadn't seen her in a few days as he'd been away mending fences. Watching her walk towards the front door, it occurred to Tom, Sophie really wasn't a kid anymore. She had always been quite short for her age, and slight, but in the past few months had developed full, round, pert C-cup breasts. Her hips were swinging and her breasts were bouncing pleasantly as she came towards him. Tom had to shake himself. "Get a grip, she's like a sister," he muttered under his breath. It was just strange to think of Sophie, little Sophie, as growing up. She had always been a tomboy with no fear, who loved to kick a soccer ball around with him, could ride horses with the best of them, and had a dislike for dresses that was almost comical. Tom was sad to think that one day these things about her which he'd come to think of as facts might not hold true anymore. At least he knew her skill for riding horses would never change. Tom cleared his throat. It was time to go clean up for dinner.

Sophie emerged from her room to the familiar clattering, chattering noises that symbolised meal times at Marsden. She had had just enough time to wash her hands and clean her face before dinner. She wondered who would be at the table tonight; hopefully Tom would be back from his fencing job. She always missed his company when he was away. Sophie hoped her mother wouldn't have too much to drink at dinner tonight, she could really do without that screeching tone of voice that came with more than two wines.

When she got to the dining room Sophie did a quick scan of faces, skipping over those of her parents, and six or seven staff, to settle on one in particular. Tom was home! She didn't know why, but tonight she was especially glad to have him back at the table. She took in his familiar form; red-gold hair, tanned freckled face, green eyes, strong chin, wide shoulders, big arms. She suddenly felt a sense of calm overtake her previous distractibility. Tom moved slowly, spoke slowly; he knew the world would go on around him without a care for the pace of his actions. He was like the big steady boulder in the middle of a spring stream. Sophie moved to the vacant spot across from him at the table and sat down.

Tom grinned at Sophie as she sat; "Nice to see you, stranger. You're looking skinny as ever, how are you going to beat me at soccer at this rate?" he said.

"Stranger? You're the one who's been away for ages!" she retorted. Their usual banter continued but underneath it, Sophie's flighty feeling returned. In fact, she suddenly felt more scattered and distracted than she had all week. What was going on?

Tom, for his part, kept up the conversation but couldn't help noticing Sophie's bright blue eyes grow distant. He wondered what she was thinking about. He really thought she might have been a bit more interested in chatting to him tonight after being away this long, but no matter. She was probably thinking about some guy from school. She was well past the age for crushes after all. Tom let his own mind wander, to his soft warm bed in the staff quarters. He liked sleeping out in his swag under the stars, but it grew old after a few days, and he was looking forward to the comforts of a real bed tonight.

A couple of days later Sophie ran into Ella, one of the jillaroos at Marsden who had been around forever. "Sophie what's going on?!" Ella exclaimed, "you seem a little on edge lately!"

"What do you mean?" asked Sophie, surprised someone had noticed a change in her.

"Well, you just seem tense, or restless, or something," said Ella. "That's the best way I can explain it. Is everything alright?"

"Sure, of course," said Sophie. "It's coming up to exam time, I guess I'm just feeling a bit nervous about that."

The two of them worked side by side for the next hour cleaning the chicken runs, but Sophie's mind was working overtime. If Ella had noticed something different, that meant she wasn't imagining it. She didn't know what to do but she resolved to speak to Tom about it next time she saw him. He always knew what to say to make things right.

Two days went by without Sophie seeing Tom. She continued to feel more and more restless, her mind was all over the place and she couldn't concentrate for more than ten minutes at a time. School was awful, her teacher was getting increasingly annoyed at her limited attention span. On Wednesday afternoon, Sophie resolved to seek Tom out and ask his advice. She made her way to the stables where he could usually be found, doing some odd job or another. On approaching the stables Sophie breathed in the comforting smell of hay and horses and reminded herself everything was going to be ok. She walked through the door and spotted Tom right away; he was tall and it was easy to see his bright red-gold hair above the stable partitions.

"Tom!" she cried out, and he jumped and turned towards her. She walked towards him, relieved she'd finally get to talk to someone about what was going on, but on getting closer to him she stopped short. Why was she noticing how broad his shoulders looked in that shirt, now of all times? For goodness sake this was a perfect example of how distract-able her mind had been lately. Sophie pulled her gaze away from staring at Tom's chest hair peeking out over the neck of his white shirt, and brought her eyes up to meet his. She experienced a jolt which was almost physically painful when their eyes met, and breathed in sharply.

"What's up, Soph?" he asked, in that easy way of his.

"Do you...did you feel that?" she asked.

Tom looked confused.

Sophie at that moment felt more on edge than she had all week, and wondered why. She was coming to Tom, familiar Tom, for advice and comfort, and instead she felt this crackling tension between them. Only he didn't feel it, which made things even worse. Her eyes filled with tears and she turned and ran before Tom could see her cry. Tom's brow furrowed but he let her go.

Sophie reached the big gum tree behind the old pond. Her place. She sat down with her back to the trunk of the tree and started to think in earnest. Surely it must be that time of the month, that would explain why she was feeling so strange and emotional. She tried to remember when her last period was, and realised it was only two weeks ago. That wasn't it then. She was going fine at school, she really didn't feel nervous about exams, her parents weren't annoying her any more than usual, all in all she had no idea what was going on. Maybe things would look better after a good night's sleep. The change in her relationship with Tom however was bothering her more than she cared to admit.

Midnight. Tom couldn't sleep. He normally didn't have any trouble sleeping but he couldn't stop thinking about Sophie. He hated seeing her upset and today had troubled him. She'd clearly come to him wanting to talk, only to decide she couldn't trust him with what she'd had to say. He decided to go and check on the horses, as something about the stables always set his mind at peace. He knew he'd feel better once he spent a few minutes with Admiral, his favourite old horse. He got out of bed, stretched, and put a singlet on over his bare chest, to go with his pyjama pants. It was summer but it could still get chilly at this time of night outside.

As predicted, after a few minutes brushing down Admiral while talking to him in a low voice, Tom felt calm and finally ready for sleep. He was just about to put the brush back on the shelf when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He was being watched. Tom turned around and saw Sophie down the end of the stables, slowly walking towards him. She looked better than when he had seen her earlier today, more resolved somehow. She was staring straight at him, and stopped short when she was a couple of metres away. Her long blonde hair was tousled and down around her shoulders as if she'd been sleeping, but her eyes were large, luminous and wide awake.

"Tom, I couldn't sleep and I have to know, what is this weird feeling?" she started.

"Soph, I don't know what you mean, I want to help you but you have to explain to me more about what you're feeling," Tom replied. As he was talking he noticed Sophie was dressed in her short pyjama bottoms, and a white singlet top similar to his own.

Sophie looked small and scared, but even as he was looking at her, she took a breath and visibly braced herself to keep speaking.

"Tom, I've always known I can talk to you about anything. You have this way of listening and making me feel better. I've been feeling strange lately, I wanted to tell you about it so much, but you weren't here. I've been feeling distracted, I can't concentrate on anything, my mind wanders and my body feels tense and nervous, almost excited about something. I thought seeing you would make me feel better, but it doesn't, it makes it worse."

Tom noticed Sophie was breathing fast, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she spoke. His heart went out to her, the last thing in the world he would ever want was for Sophie to feel frightened to speak to him, to tell him anything. He spoke to her slowly, in a calm voice: "Sophie, I want you to tell me exactly how you feel right now."

"I...I can't...I don't know," she quavered, her voice strangely breathy. He looked at her again, and sucked his breath in. How could he not have noticed it the first time; her nipples were standing out sharply against her white singlet. Her chest was not only rising and falling rapidly but it was flushed pink. Her hair fell in front of her face and she looked towards her toes.

"Sophie...look at me," Tom said. She slowly, slowly raised her chin and her eyes met his. This time, Tom felt it. The snap of electricity as their eyes met. He was shocked to his core. This was Sophie, who was like a little sister to him. How could this be happening? And how could she have known about it first? But it was. And she did. But she didn't know what it meant. For the second time that day, her eyes welled up with tears.

Tom was in agony. He hated seeing Sophie in any kind of distress...but this. This was too much. He wanted to fold her in his arms and tell her it would be alright, but he couldn't. She was 18! Practically half his age. He decided to keep talking to her and see where it went. Talking to her usually helped her feel better.

"Sophie, I feel it now. You're not crazy. It's ok, it's going to be ok. Keep talking to me. Just talk to me about how you're feeling." Even as he spoke Tom shifted his considerable weight from one leg to the other. He could smell her sweet, sleepy scent now and it was doing things to him. He mentally told himself to get control.

"Tom, I...I don't know how to tell you how I'm feeling." Her voice was soft. "It's like there's this strange energy between us that wasn't there before. I feel it in the air between us whenever I'm with you lately, it makes me feel nervous and wild and unsettled. Like something's going to happen. I don't like it."

"You don't like it?" Tom couldn't help it, his voice was rough and gravelly when he spoke.

"Well of course I don't. I can normally rely on you to make me feel better. I've been feeling crazy these last few weeks and I don't know why it's worse when I'm with you but it is."

"Sophie. I want you to stop and breathe. Breathe in, and tell me, right now, do you feel bad?"

Sophie stopped and looked at Tom. She breathed in and out a couple of times and thought about how she felt. She felt wired, and wild, and a little nervous, but for the first time in weeks she felt fully present in her body. And no, she didn't feel bad. She felt daring and alive.

"No Tom, I don't feel bad right now. I feel like I have to tell you things. Everything. Speaking to you makes me feel better."

"Tell me everything then", Tom said, hoping her speaking would quell the growing arousal he was feeling for her.

"OK, don't think differently of me for what I say. I can't help it...I like looking at you right now. I like looking at your chest, and your stomach...it makes me feel nice." Sophie said all this in a rush and let out a giant breath of air as she finished. She was looking at her feet again by the time she stopped speaking, and it felt like a whole day had elapsed by the time she could bring herself to look into Tom's face. He was staring at her with an intensity she had never seen before. It made her blush from the roots of her hair to her toes. She suddenly felt as if Tom could see right through her clothes to every inch of her. Sophie shivered and was acutely aware that something was different with her body. She looked down and saw her nipples straining against her white singlet.

"Keep telling me how you're feeling," Tom said in a low voice. His eyes had joined hers, staring straight at her nipples. "Tell me how your body feels."

"I..um...my..." Sophie decided with a rush to give in completely to her body, which was urging her to ignore her shyness and keep talking to Tom. "My nipples feel so hard and tight, they're rubbing against my singlet," she almost whispered.

"They feel so good when the breeze blows my singlet against them, it makes me want to touch them."

Tom swallowed hard.

"Touch them," he commanded in a low voice.

Sophie slowly brought her fingers up to her nipples and started to rub them through her white singlet. It was as if this was what her body had been waiting for, these past few weeks. Her back arched in response as she dragged her nails harder over her nipples.

"Keep talking to me Soph," said Tom, trying to keep his voice under control.

"Tom, I've never felt like this before. It's like there's a direct line from my nipples to my stomach. My nipples are sending little shockwaves through my body and there's this warm feeling in my stomach and it's growing stronger. Oh God, Tom what's happening?"

With this last part, Sophie looked up at Tom again and it was enough to almost undo him. How could he not have noticed before how beautiful she was. Her innocence made her even more sexy. Tom didn't trust himself to move any closer to her without picking her up and taking her against the wall of the stable. He took a deep breath and spoke again.

"Soph, you're doing great, this is normal, just keep telling me what you're feeling."

"My nipples feel so good," she gasped. "The warm feeling in my stomach is deepening and spreading to between my legs now." Sophie's breathing grew faster and she blushed a deeper shade of pink as she stared up at Tom with her lips parted.

"Tom it feels so good but I feel like I want to touch you, this connection between us is getting stronger, it's such a physical thing - do you feel it too?" As Sophie looked up at Tom she noticed his breathing was fast now and he looked as if he were concentrating on the wall behind her.

"Soph, I want you to just stay where you are and keep talking to me," Tom almost growled these words as he fought to control himself, holding on to the pole behind him to stop himself launching forward towards Sophie.

Sophie, for her part, was almost losing herself in the sensations she was feeling now. Her fingers were moving faster across her nipples and she felt like her stomach muscles were tightening and her whole body was on edge.

"Tom... I feel all hot and tight...I think I'm getting wet between my legs," Sophie looked at Tom helplessly, she couldn't stop rubbing her nipples now even if she wanted to.

"My whole body feels wound up like a spring and there's something happening deep inside me. Oh Tom I want you so much."

Tom looked at her, and before she knew what was happening, tossed a pebble on the ground in front of her.

"I want you to bend over and pick that up for me," he spoke roughly now.

As Sophie bent at the waist to do as he said, she felt the pressure inside her abdomen increase and she cried out. "What are you doing," she gasped as she straightened up. Tom, unable to help it, let out a moan as he heard the noise she made. She looked straight at him and saw he was holding himself strangely and had a hard bulge in his pants.

Sophie's fingers went straight back to her nipples and she was frantic with need now.

"Tom, something's happening, I feel...I'm so wet. I'm...aching," Sophie groaned.

"Squeeze your legs together," Tom commanded, and as Sophie did so she cried out again, more sharply this time.