Felix Driscoll: Private Detective

PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

I asked Vinnie, "Did Lisa pick up Bobby's gun after you killed him last night? She afraid you were going to kill her too. I think she took a pot shot at you and sent you running out the back door. She ran out the front and you chased after her in the old black car. Is that your car?"

"It's his car," Dana answered for him.

"Vinnie, you couldn't leave a loose end like Lisa lying around. You brought her back here after you forced the convertible off the road in that big car. A Cadillac was leaving when I first got here. It's back now. Was it sent out to bring the convertible in from the roadside?"

He denied it.

"Did you just now yourself get back from your house? Were you tidying up the murder scene? You were too pressed for time earlier, with all the guns going off. Am I right, Vinnie?"

Dana crucified him with her eyes. "He'd better not be right, Vinnie, for your sake. I'll tell everything I know."

The sound of a gun being cocked made us all turn. She had traded the frumpish clothes for a frump's nightgown. She glided into the room silently in bedroom slippers and clutching an ancient revolver. "You better shut that girl up, Vinnie," the frump warned him. She aimed the gun at Dana.

Vinnie regained some of his lost composure and, to his credit, stepped between the revolver and the Starling girl. "Put that gun down, Dr. Desola."

I was astonished to learn the frump was Dr. Desola.

"I wouldn't be talking in front of this guy," the frump scowled.

I'd been maneuvering around to get Vinnie between me and the gun. Dr. Desola spotted what I was up to and shifted me into the sights of her revolver. The heavy old gun trembled, clumsy in her hand. She spoke forcefully for an old woman: "Drop that gun!"

Instead I said: "Was the lady doctor supposed to keep Lisa doped up and quieted down until you could figure out a way of disposing of her?"

Vinnie's lips curled in hatred.

"Enough accusations," the frump replied, "I'm not going to tell you again to drop that gun."

Dana spoke flatly, "I've heard enough. I'm leaving. Right now."

Dr. Desola waved the gun, screaming, "Nobody's leaving! Stop this instant!" She pulled the trigger as I darted to one side. The revolver made my ears ring when it boomed. The frump's bullet struck Vinnie and mine struck the frump. She toppled dead.

"Dana . . ." stammered Vinnie through a mouthful of blood.

She bent over him, crying, cradling his head in her arms. Over and over she said, "You know you're the only one I love, Vinnie."

I dialed the phone on the night table. He died before the ambulance arrived.

Please rate this story
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
6 Comments
oldpantythiefoldpantythiefabout 1 year ago

Lacking something, just not sure what it is.

AnotherChapterAnotherChapterabout 2 years ago

Raymond chandler it isn’t! Some good ideas here, but no conclusion, no explanation for most of the plot line, and too much was telegraphed early on. disappointing in too many respects.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Bad play on old Marlowe etc

No

jtwheels

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Good stuff!

Move over Mickey Spillane! I bet you kiss the girl in the next episode!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
nice beginning to a longer story

Personally, I liked the story.

As to "Pretty Lame", check the category; there was your first clue to stop reading.

That said, this seems like the beginning of what could be very long story. Keep up the good work.

-- KK in Texas

Show More
Share this Story

READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Similar Stories

The Private Eye Ch. 01 I'm hired to find a compromising video of a public figure.in Fetish
The Magical Mystery Tour - The Stories Read all the Magical Mystery Tour event stories!in Loving Wives
The Dame & The Dick A 1940s noir about a detective chasing a jazz singer.in Lesbian Sex
Hammered: an Ode to Mickey Spillane 2021 - Coming Soon Coming Fall 2021: a hard-boiled noir event open to all writers!in Loving Wives
Sam Spade 00: Case of the Missing Daughter Sam Spade sent to find Cindy and bring her back.in Novels and Novellas
More Stories