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Click hereI asked Vinnie, "Did Lisa pick up Bobby's gun after you killed him last night? She afraid you were going to kill her too. I think she took a pot shot at you and sent you running out the back door. She ran out the front and you chased after her in the old black car. Is that your car?"
"It's his car," Dana answered for him.
"Vinnie, you couldn't leave a loose end like Lisa lying around. You brought her back here after you forced the convertible off the road in that big car. A Cadillac was leaving when I first got here. It's back now. Was it sent out to bring the convertible in from the roadside?"
He denied it.
"Did you just now yourself get back from your house? Were you tidying up the murder scene? You were too pressed for time earlier, with all the guns going off. Am I right, Vinnie?"
Dana crucified him with her eyes. "He'd better not be right, Vinnie, for your sake. I'll tell everything I know."
The sound of a gun being cocked made us all turn. She had traded the frumpish clothes for a frump's nightgown. She glided into the room silently in bedroom slippers and clutching an ancient revolver. "You better shut that girl up, Vinnie," the frump warned him. She aimed the gun at Dana.
Vinnie regained some of his lost composure and, to his credit, stepped between the revolver and the Starling girl. "Put that gun down, Dr. Desola."
I was astonished to learn the frump was Dr. Desola.
"I wouldn't be talking in front of this guy," the frump scowled.
I'd been maneuvering around to get Vinnie between me and the gun. Dr. Desola spotted what I was up to and shifted me into the sights of her revolver. The heavy old gun trembled, clumsy in her hand. She spoke forcefully for an old woman: "Drop that gun!"
Instead I said: "Was the lady doctor supposed to keep Lisa doped up and quieted down until you could figure out a way of disposing of her?"
Vinnie's lips curled in hatred.
"Enough accusations," the frump replied, "I'm not going to tell you again to drop that gun."
Dana spoke flatly, "I've heard enough. I'm leaving. Right now."
Dr. Desola waved the gun, screaming, "Nobody's leaving! Stop this instant!" She pulled the trigger as I darted to one side. The revolver made my ears ring when it boomed. The frump's bullet struck Vinnie and mine struck the frump. She toppled dead.
"Dana . . ." stammered Vinnie through a mouthful of blood.
She bent over him, crying, cradling his head in her arms. Over and over she said, "You know you're the only one I love, Vinnie."
I dialed the phone on the night table. He died before the ambulance arrived.
Raymond chandler it isn’t! Some good ideas here, but no conclusion, no explanation for most of the plot line, and too much was telegraphed early on. disappointing in too many respects.
Move over Mickey Spillane! I bet you kiss the girl in the next episode!
Personally, I liked the story.
As to "Pretty Lame", check the category; there was your first clue to stop reading.
That said, this seems like the beginning of what could be very long story. Keep up the good work.
-- KK in Texas