Finding Kim Again

Come on, Dave. Bedtime for you, too!

When once again I survived my alarm clock's morning assault, I peered around the corner into the living room to see about Kim. No Kim, only a carefully folded blanket on the sofa where she'd been, and a note lying upon it:

Dear David,

Sorry, can't sleep very long alone, so hope I didn't wake you as I left.

Please call me, and a non-cell number.

Kim.

So I did, at coffee break that day. No answer.

At noon, no answer

Middle of the afternoon, again, no answer

Within minutes of arriving home, though, she knocked on my door.

"Well, my favorite Sleeping Beauty," I said as I opened the door for her.

"Thanks." With that she stretched up and kissed me just as she had that evening ten years ago when I gave her back to the dormitory after our art exhibition first date. Wow! Ten years hadn't waned her effect on me. This time she led me to the sofa, not the other way around, and when we sat, it certainly wasn't at opposite ends. She looked into my eyes.

"Sorry about last night. Not very polite."

"No problem. I was just glad you were here."

She looked away for just a second.

"So, the answer to your question is: I hope so."

What question did she mean?

"I hope we have much more than just somewhere to go from here. I gather you hope so, too."

Well, I certainly did! How often does your favorite dream return in such beautiful form?

"I already know a lot about you, David. But I've not said much about myself on purpose."

"How did you find me?"

"Internet, then a private investigator. Hope you don't mind. A girl like me must be careful."

I nodded. How did she ever go out in public with that bosom of hers?

"So, what you want to know about me since you dropped me to quit school?"

I hoped the expression that took over my face said everything.

"Well. I finished two years of school, and I did enjoy those three visits you made at my parent's home, although I cried a week after each one.

"My parents said I was a damned fool for not doing everything necessary to hold you. But I could see you just weren't ready for marriage, and that's what I wanted. You needed to grow into the man you'd become. I understood that, but Daddy didn't. He finally said give up, Kim, you'll never get him.

"So he and Momma—in our family that counted for a lot—arranged my marriage to a man they knew and liked. The fact I barely knew him and he was twenty-five years older than me had no bearing. He always treated me very well and could afford to do so." Kim blushed, and I wondered why.

"Oh, I'm so silly!" she said with disgust at herself. "Dennis loved me, and I did my best to love him, but always you were there haunting me from the shadows. But I finally accepted my fate of loving a man I could never marry, and sleeping every night with the best possible substitute.

"I even had babies for him—well, for his family. See, his brother's wife couldn't have children, and they wanted kids so badly. I had two for them, but said no to a third. Now, at family gatherings I visit my babies, watch them grow, and hope my brother-in-law and his wife love them as much as I would have." She shook her head.

"I'll bet that's tough."

"The really tough part is yet to tell. I hope you don't hate me for it and run away screaming, but I'll understand if you do."

I nodded, hoping this next confession didn't hurt her too much.

"You see? Before the first baby, I was already doing adult videos, right? That was Dennis' business. Because some guys get off on it, there's quite a market for videos of guys having sex with obviously pregnant women. We made half a dozen, and they sold well. We've even got two that occasionally play on cable adult channels. Huge breasts on a woman with a huge belly, the secret to my success." Kim chuckled. "My two babies will never know they were movie stars even before they were born."

She looked down.

"You wish now they were your kids, don't you."

Kim nodded.

"So, is that the toughest part?" I figured unless her husband was also her leading man, that might be her next confession.

She shook her head, so I waited.

"Five years ago it all crashed—when the doctors diagnosed Dennis with man cancer. It took him four years to succumb. Oh, god, David, you can't know what he went through."

"Underneath it all, you loved him. I know you did. So you went through it with him."

Kim looked down, then nodded. I gathered she had never accepted a woman could love two men as she had, and the pain she felt over Dennis' death was just as valid as if it were for me or some other husband her own age.

Tears filled her eyes when she looked up.

"How long's he been gone?"

"Just over a year. The hardest part is now, settling his estate and everything to do with the videos and the rest of that. See, I just want to forget it all, but there are complications I can't sidestep. Royalties, promotion, public appearances, and performances. I can't just leave our producer in a lurch, nor the other money people we have contracts with. Oh, how I just wish ..."

"What about living here? You said your family's in California, now."

"Yeah, that, too. I have my house—our house—here to contend with."

I nodded.

"But if I stay here, then I don't get to see my children very often. See, when I was making videos, I was in California lots more. I could be their Aunt Kim. I miss those kids, even if they don't know the truth. See, the woman they call Mommie is Asian, too, so I look right for the Auntie part."

She stopped and I wondered where this had led her. Her eyes darted around the room, obviously avoiding something. They landed on me.

"David? Could you love a woman who's had two children she can't claim by her brother-in-law, a man she hardly knew? Love a woman who didn't have sense enough to give you so much ten years ago you couldn't walk away from her? A woman who for nine years was the arranged- marriage, trophy wife of a man twenty-five years older than her? Love a woman who's had sex with nearly every top male name in the adult video industry, and done it on screen? Who every man who's watched any porn at all has seen naked and screwing?" Tears flooded her eyes and she looked down.

I found a soft smile and put it on.

"Kim?" I said to lift her eyes again.

The look on her face was now so pitiful any man would want to put his arm around her—and around those huge breasts.

"Kim? You still want me? After I didn't have maturity to know a good thing when I saw you ten years ago?"

She stood, walked to me, put her arms around me, and in spite of her frontal assets, hugged me close enough to kiss me hard on the lips.

With that, she said, "I think we should find out. What were you going to do this evening? It's Friday night, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Okay, then. It's my show. Come on. You show me your bedroom and I'll show you why you should keep me."

I had long been a proponent of the performing arts, so I followed her.

***

First, she led me around while she closed all the drapes, I mean all of them! Dining area, living room, kitchen, all the bath and bedrooms, even the breakfast nook! What were we doing? Making a set for a video?

Next she stripped, right there in front of me in the master bedroom. Yes, she looked just as good as those shots of her in my porno stills collection, head to foot, only better because these were the real her, not touched up by Photo Shop.

"Well," she said coming back to me. "Don't I look good enough to make you take your pants off?"

I stood there dumb-founded. I'm sure my tongue hung out, too.

She unbuckled my belt and helped my jeans slide to my knees. Her hand slipped inside my briefs and took a good grip on me. Her thumb raked across my end and sent shivers up my spine.

"There. I've wanted to do that ever since our first date. You got any idea how difficult it was to keep my hands off you?"

What I remembered was how wet my briefs got without her hands even getting inside my pants, let alone holding me like hers were now.

"Sit on the bed and let me take your shoes and pants off. You won't need those again until you leave for work Monday morning."

I sat.

"Lie back, now." She didn't wait for me to do so. She shoved me back, and in a moment my shoes and jeans and briefs were a non-factor.

"Now your shirt, if that's okay? And can I suck you while I unbutton it? That was one of my signature moves." She didn't wait for my approval. In a second she was on her knees between my knees with my penis poked into her mouth. I wondered how she would handle the buttons on my shirt with both her hands ringed, as they were, around the base of my cock next to her lips.

"Oh, that's so good, David. Already you taste good."

I had no idea how I tasted, but she sure felt good. And she did manage to get my shirt lose and off my shoulders.

"Now," she said. "What's first? Plain old cowgirl? This horny woman sitting on you? I'd like that."

She let my penis slip from her mouth before she crawled onto me.

"Here, slide up a little so we're more even on the bed, okay?"

I elbowed my way up, but before I got as far up as I expected, she sat on top. "That's the best way when the woman wants you as much as I want you. Stick me, baby. Please?"

I didn't even have to find her. She was there, ready and waiting. I wondered if porn actors working under camera time constraints had to be that quick and accurate.

"Oohh," she moaned. "You are sooo good!"

Well, it was for me, too.

"You like me, Baby?" she said with her second moan.

How could I not? I suppose the grin on my face answered that.

"Good. Now you just take your time, and I'll take mine. We're not shooting for a deadline, here, just our pleasure. Okay?"

Okay by me!

"Now, Honey. You tell me what's good and what's best. I'll do anything you want, but I need to know everything that's best for you, okay?"

I stopped a moment to consider what I really wanted.

"Oh, no! Don't stop! Please! I want you, I want you, I want you! Do I feel good to you?"

I nodded because I felt so damned good I had no spare energy with which to say more.

"Please, David. Slow and easy, but not too slow and not too easy, either! Oh, god, you're good!"

Well, I hoped so.

"You know? If you'd be my stud and if I only had to screw you, I'd make a hundred videos. But only if you alone fucked me and I only had to fuck you. I know our writers could make a story out of that. Just you and me and a bed!"

"Kim, for god's sake! We don't need anyone to write a script for us. We'll do just fine. At least I think so."

"Oh, you're such a man!"

"How do you know? Maybe I've turned into jerk over the past ten years."

"Baby, with a dick like what's inside me, there's no way you could be a jerk."

"Well, I'm not gonna last very long if you keep doing that, young lady."

"I don't want you to last too long. But I want you to come so then you'll settle down and we can have a nice, long, all weekend fuck. You been how long since your last woman?"

I had to think about that, but it had been so long it was just a case of far too damned long.

"See, that's what I got to figure out about you. Most porn guys know how often they can cum, and how vigorously. But you're a wild card, and that's half the fun. You don't know when you're going to blow, and I just have to be ready for it."

"Kim? Let's just be girlfriend and boyfriend, okay? Let's just enjoy us being us."

"Oh, David, you're so romantic! I think Monday I'll call our producer/director and tell her I will do one last video if the story only has me fucking you and you only fuck me. She'll understand, and I know she and our writer will figure out a way to make a story out of that."

How did I feel about that? Ordinary guy, fucks ex-porn star with huge breasts, they live happily ever after, because she loves him, he loves her, they should have married ten years before when they were still in college, and now there's time to be made up. Oh, yeah! Right!

The ninety minute script outline arrived two weeks later with a letter and a contract for both Kim and me to sign.

"Come on, David. Read it? Please? For me?"

At first I put my foot down and said no, but after our next roll in the hay with Kim, I softened—yes, physically and mentally!

"Well, what you think?" she said, once I put the stack of clip-bound paper down. Of course she'd been kibitzing the whole time and my brain was dominated by the fact of her grip working on my dick and her other hand caressing the rest of me.

I kissed her. What else could I do?

"It's everything about us," I said. "The only part the writer left out was about you being a surrogate mother twice."

"Oh! I didn't think about that! But like you said, the plot does need more conflict than just you and me being immature and doing stupid kinds of things. Maybe the writer can work that in somehow, like maybe the kids' new parents get divorced or something and that causes problems for the lucky couple. Wow! Good idea, Honey. I'll call our producer tomorrow and see what she thinks."

Yeah, right again! Since when had this producer become our producer? How had I become an important part of this video project?

A revised script arrived a week later. Meanwhile, Kim insisted we practice so we might help the Director when shooting time came. I gathered it would be come, and come, and come, and come yet again once the camera rolled. She insisted we get in practice so I was predictable, and knew the moves she wanted to use. Wow, it sounded like hard work instead the simple, old, stick tab A in slot B, squirt, breathe hard, and moan a lot.

***

Like most guys, I suppose, I'd always more or less assumed acting in an adult video would mostly be do what comes naturally, enjoy it some of the time, and get paid for it—well, at least for the professionals. For me the enjoyment came mostly when shooting ended for the day and Kim took me to bed—for real!—and coached me for the following day's shoot.

Of course that woman made a great coach; her husband—lucky bastard, he'd been!—had trained her well, and she used everything she'd learned from him on me. She was always saying, "He taught me that, or he taught me this" to the extent I wondered if little old me, Mister Ordinary Guy, could ever show her something new. But by the time she'd shown me whatever it was, I'd enjoyed it so much, my ego couldn't possibly have been hurt. If somehow the finished result of this flick came across the way Kim made me feel, it would be an AVN Awards winner hands down.

I mentioned this to our director/producer, Sal, one day.

"You're doing fine, David," she said. "Just keep it up for another five days."

Well, that made me wonder: Fine? Keep it up? What's that mean? Surely someone with my limited experience couldn't outshine those guys who had been in the industry since before I saw my first porno. But they won awards every year, although many of them were getting quite threadbare and long in the tooth.

I preferred the story line in Love Actually. At least that porn actress character was young, cute, sweet, and just plain nice, and the guy, although young and ordinary like me, won the girl in the off-screen romance portion of the main film's plot.

Sweet. I liked that.

Five days? Sounded as if I'd be back at work well within my allotted two week vacation. When I asked the director how she thought the film was coming together, her smile answered before her words.

"You remember, don't you, what I said in our kick-off meeting? I wanted this film to attract more women to adult videos. You know, make it more like those millions of erotic romance novels that are selling hotter every year. We're working with a wonderful story here—just in case you don't recognize it. Lots of heartbreak, loneliness, false starts and ending with a sweet bang and success—in a situation that's close enough to reality that most women could buy into it as their own. David? You're perfect. Kim is perfect. The story's perfect. And when I get done with it, this film will be prefect, too."

Okay!? "You mean that? Really?"

"Honey," she said in that tone she used when she wanted something different from me, but was being careful not hurt my feelings. "The most difficult part of this is trying to edit it. I have to wear a diaper to keep my juice from ruining every chair I have in my editing studio. This is hot, with a capital H! I've never had that problem before."

Well, I hoped so. But how could I judge when by the end of every scene I had either come somewhere in or on Kim, or was barely one stroke from it?

"All I gotta say is: David, start tailoring your tux for the Awards this year. We're going to win it, I'm sure. You and Kim will be on the stage together, and I'll be right there with you."

Okay, I thought. One thing Kim impressed upon me was: The director is always right. You may suggest, but never argue. My only quandary was: which director to follow? The one on my dick most of the time, now? Or the one behind the camera?

***

Christmas fell on Friday, so with my company holiday schedule adding Christmas and the Day Before Christmas to the weekend, I had a four day weekend. Like the previous year, I knew little would get accomplished between Christmas and New Years at Detent Industries. So with a somewhat-true sob story about needing to visit family in California, I cornered my boss and parleyed my holidays into eleven days off. Oh, if he only knew what my family had in mind!

Sal made no bones about it: Our film needed several scenes reshot, several new ones added, and more promotional stuff shot as well. Timing worked out perfect, and with her caveats for the re-shot scenes and the missing ones she planned to add, we saw the rough cut.

When Kim and I returned to our hotel room that evening, my briefs itched from the pre-cum I'd poured into them just watching the film. Kim twitched around, too, so I knew she'd done the same, maybe more.

As we walked—hurried, really—along the hotel's hall toward our room, she said, "Next time I see that film, remind me to wear a diaper! God, I'm all pussy juice and a bundle of nerves. I'm a mess."

I said nothing, only jerked the room door open, shoved her in, and closed the door none too gently, just like one of the scenes from the flick—only this was for real.

Kim made a grab for my zipper as I ripped her top off her shoulders. I liked that bra she had on—or should I say: lack of bra. It was one of those adult entertainment ones that mysteriously come off with the blouse without coaxing, if the guy's just a little anxious.

"Hurry, Honey!" she said, fumbling with my slacks. "God, I want you. Hurry, or I'll come right here and you'll miss out. Come on, Baby! Please?"

By now I had her on the bed. I don't know where the bedclothes went, and I didn't care.

"Please? Want me on my back? Just plain old fuck me? No pretending now. Just grab my titties, get yourself in position, and ram it into me. All the way in, first stroke? And never leave, ever. Okay?"

I did my best. She moaned, and continued moaning even after little of my enthusiasm remained. Her entire vocabulary consisted of 'Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god!' for the next hour.

When she finally floated down from her climax, she rolled to me and whispered, "Davie? I been so selfish. Now it's your turn. I want your dick down my throat, and if it takes me an hour's sucking to get you hard enough to do me again, that's just tough." After a kiss that lingered on my lips for as long as it took to Kim get herself turned into 69's, she started in on me. Then it was my turn to moan 'Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god!' for an hour.