First Experience

I had been curious about men. Never really too serious to consider anything more than a sexual curiosity about it. To this day, I cannot see myself feeling gratified with a man-to-man relationship in all aspects of life, perhaps it's the peer pressure still felt, or perhaps it's because of the affection I have for women, but nevertheless I do have a desire and an appetite for man-to-man gratification.

When I was senior in high school I had my first come on from a man. He was older, maybe 27. I was in a hotel bathroom changing my clothes to go swimming, and he hit on me. I was not sure what was going on, but I definitely knew he was watching and looking at me. He had short dark hair and dark eyes. A nice body, and he looked like a businessman, from what I could tell. He stood in the bathroom stall and kept peeking over his shoulder and looking as I stripped from my jeans and stood clad in my briefs before putting on my shorts. As I was standing back up, he turned ever so slightly and revealed a hard-on. It was then that I first understood that he was masturbating the entire time I was changing. He asked if he could suck me, to which I blushed and said no. I was not grossed out in the least, and he could tell that this was the case and he again asked me. I shook my head no, and told him not here and not now. However, I did not say no. I told him that I would be interested if he had a room, but not in a public bathroom. He hurriedly gave me a room number, put his cock into his pants and left.

I gathered my things and went out to the car. My friends would be waiting for me at the pool, but my curiosity had overcome me, so I went to the room that the man had told me about. I knocked on the door and waited; however, to my surprise and fear, another man answered the door in complete shock. This was not the older businessman. I quickly apologized and mumbled, "Sorry, wrong room." Completely embarrassed I ran to pool and met my friends.

That night I masturbated about him. That night and many nights afterwards I masturbated about a gay encounter. It was so alluring, so forbidden, so wrong, but it strangely had me curious to find out what that night/experience would have been like.

I began to read a lot of things about man-to-man sex. The Hite Report. "The Gay Advocate" I called the local gay bookstore and bought gay literature and erotic stories. I called the local gay hotline and talked to people about meeting other gay men. I masturbated during the calls. It was not phone sex, but it was a turn on for me to know that the other man on the phone line was gay.

When I went to college, I further developed my curiosity. I called the gay hotlines there, and found another freshman that would talk to me on the phone. There I engaged in my first experience in phone sex. I had yet to actually have sex with a man, but the thought was becoming more and more erotic.

I began to go to the public bathrooms and sit in there to be picked up. Occasionally a person would sit there for a while, but it was apparent that one of us had to make the first move…. And rest assured it would not be me!

One summer break I came home and visited the mall bathroom around lunchtime and waited. There was a glory hole there, and a young black man came into the next stall and before long he began to masturbate. I watched through the glory hole. This was the first time I had ever seen a man masturbate, and I was enjoying it. He had a nice thin, long black cock. He stroked it up and down. He made no sounds, with the exception of his hand stroking that beautiful cock. I took my cock out too and began to play with it. It was hard within a matter of moments. I leaned back and stroked my cock… feeling my cum beginning to boil deep in my balls. I heard a voice say…. "Mmm That's so nice." I opened my eyes and the black boy's face had popped under the stall. Our eyes met, and I slowed down, but he just smiled and told me not to stop. I leaned back and started back again….. knowing full well he was watching me. Within a minute I shot my load all over my stomach. Without saying anything I wiped the cum off, and bolted out of the bathroom ashamed.

For a couple of months I chastised myself. I could not believe I did that. I stopped calling the gay hotlines. I stopped hanging out in the public restrooms. I felt horrible.

When I was going back to campus for the fall semester I stopped at a local porn shop and adult viewing theatre. I never bought any porn in the store, but I did like to go into the video sections and watch porn. Most of the time I watched gay porn or a porn called "Cop Love" which was a masturbation video.

When I went into the store there were a few older man milling around the video shop. You know how it is. Everyone reading the titles, no eye contact, etc. I went to the change machine, got $10 in quarters and proceeded to the darkened areas of the video lounge.

There were at least 20 booths, and a few men pacing the hallway. I caught the eye of an older married gentleman, and he smiled at me. I smiled at him. I walked down the hall, and then came back and entered the booth. As I was shutting the door, a man's hand pushed the door open and I looked and it was the older man.

He was in his 40's, at least. He had a large belly, glasses, a mustache, and a wedding band on his finger. He pressed me against the wall, without saying anything and brought his lips to mine. He kissed me roughly. Hard and deep. I quickly submitted to him. He broke the kiss, put in a bunch of quarters and put the masturbation video on.

"Is this what you want?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

The video began to play. A young hard actor stroked his cock. At the same time the man began to rub my cock through my pants. I reached down to rub him as well, but he pushed my hand away. He kissed me again, and opened the fly to my jeans. I leaned back and moaned slightly. I reached down and pressed the selection button and picked a gay porn to watch.

The older man fell to his knees and began to suck my cock. He gradually worked my pants down and I could feel him working his finger to my ass, running it down my crack, but never inserting it. I closed my eyes, rubbed my hands through his curly hair, and moaned as my six inch cock filled his eagerly pumping mouth. It felt so good.

I began to tense up, and the man took his mouth off of my cock and began to jack me off. Within seconds my cum flew through the video booth…. Careening off the video screen and onto the walls. What cum was in his hand he wiped into my hair as he stood up and kissed me deeply.

After the kiss, he turned around and left.

Feeling orgasmic, relieved, and dejected. I sat and cried in the video booth until the video ended, then quickly exited… feeling the eyes of all the customers on me as I left.

I got in my car, drove to school, and promised myself never to do it again.