Fleshy Headed Mutants

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Warren Neilson promptly cracked Agent Mulder on the back of the head with a lamp and Agent Mulder hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Warren hit Agent Douglas too but it only stunned her. He closed the door and carried her to the bed, threw her down on it beside Karen and was delighted to see that Agent Douglas was not wearing underpants.

Agent Douglas came fully awake and alert when she felt something at the lips of her sex pushing in.

She started to fight and then an incredible, inexplicable (to her) lust flooded her body and she shoved her pelvis up to meet the invading cock. (The lust really came from large pheromone glands at the base of Warren's mating proboscis that released a cloud of potent pheromones right before he started to mount Agent Douglas plus those already circulating in the air from his copulation with Karen.)

Agent Douglas was a very attractive strawberry blond but lately - actually for the last two years - she had been celibate, not even allowing herself the pleasure of masturbation. As Warren's mutant mating proboscis slid fully inside her she closed her eyes and groaned from the indescribable pleasure of being filled like she had never remembered.

Somewhere in the distance (even though Karen was lying so close to Agent Douglas their bodies were practically touching) she heard Karen giggle and say, "Enjoy the ride honey. You've never felt anything like this, eh."

Agent Douglas threw her arms around the shoulders of her rapist and instinctively wrapped her legs around his back and locked her ankles together as he thrust into her madly. She imagined that she felt his cock extending deep into her belly. It was incredible, just incredible.

Warren slid down Agent Douglas' body slightly and pulled her jersey up around her throat so he could suckle and pull on her breasts. She rubbed her hands in his hair as she felt the beginnings of an orgasm start to form.

She heard Warren grunt, felt his cock expand inside her and then felt a warm liquid fullness inside her that overflowed out onto her thighs and down her ass. And then, right before her orgasm started, she felt many little pin pricks inside her and each pin prick seem to release an orgasm from where it was sticking her.

Agent Douglas' eyes opened wide in astonishment. She screamed. She had never came this way before. Her body radiated intense, warm pleasure.

After a few moments, Warren sat back between Agent Douglas' thighs, his proboscis still buried deep inside her - and still coming. He smiled as he watched Agent Douglas arch her back and belly as another wave of pleasure overtook her.

When the wave had passed Agent Douglas looked at Warren for the first time. "I'm a United States Federal Agent and you," she panted, feeling the building of another orgasm and fighting the urge to laugh or reach for Warren to kiss him, "are under arrest for rape and assault of Federal agents and this woman laying beside me."

The orgasm came.

Warren said, "You didn't object, eh."

Agent Douglas giggled and panted, "That's beside the point." Then she looked toward the door, a dazed, bemused smile on her face and lazily lifted a hand to point, "Is that a grizzly bear wearing clothes?"

Warren looked where Agent Douglas was pointing and screamed in horror.

Another blinding orgasm overtook Agent Douglas and then there was blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, 12:16 PM
Isolation Ward, Bethesda Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland

Agent Samantha Douglas had been airlifted from Bossevain, Manitoba by a special U.S. Air Force rescue unit.

She was in the isolation ward, on a ventilator, paralyzed and kept in an artificial coma by strong narcotics and muscle paralytics.

"Sam, can you hear me? Sam?" It was the voice of her partner, Clarence Edward "Bob" Mulder.

Agent Douglas opened her eyes, blinked. Bob's face came into focus. She slowly moved her head to the other side of the bed and saw what appeared to be a doctor and a nurse.

The doctor spoke, "Agent Douglas, welcome back. We're going to take you off the ventilator. On the count of three I need you to breathe out as hard as you can. Okay?"

Agent Douglas nodded. The doctor counted three and the nurse pulled the breathing tubed from Agent Douglas' throat. She coughed as the tube came out and then took a deep breath and coughed again. The doctor and nurse smiled.

In a hoarse whisper Agent Douglas started to ask, "Wha...where am...?"

The doctor smiled benevolently, "You're at Bethesda Naval Medical Center. You appear to be okay aside from your unfortunate sexual assault. Just rest for now and don't try to talk. We'll check on you in a few minutes."

The doctor and nurse left. Agent Mulder stayed behind. Agent Douglas looked at her partner and found her voice and whispered, "Bob, what the hell happened to me?"

"Well, they had to put you on the vent to, uh, calm you down. We found you out in the field across from the motel naked and you looked and acted pretty much like that woman in Dr. Pike's house.

"I was told you looked like you were uh," Agent Mulder averted his eyes and blushed, "uh, having an orgasm about every two minutes. And after you vulgarly propositioned every member of the Air Force team that evacuated us, they put the breathing tube in your throat and put you under with drugs."

"Bob, come closer please."

Agent Mulder moved close next to Agent Douglas' head. She reached out and gently took hold of the front of his shirt. "Bob, um, I know I haven't been the best partner you've had but I need to ask a favor."

"Ah, Sam, you weren't that bad for an Easterner. Go ahead and ask, partner."

"Don't laugh, okay?"

"Scout's honor."

"Was...was there a bear in an Armani suit or was I hallucinating?"

"Well, Sam, I don't know. You kept babbling about a bear - in between asking the Air Force team leader if he'd like to really fly and, uh, uh, 'ride you like a bitch whore in heat' - but I didn't come to until we were in the air so I don't know. And even then I had a concussion so things are a bit fuzzy for me."

"Oh my god..." Agent Douglas hoarsely whispered. She suddenly remembered the rescue flight.

And she could feel the first twinges of arousal.

~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue

Warren Neilson met a rather quick and, well, "grizzly" death.

Gladius Zarcon of Andalan Security found the the Uru-sine's just north of Denver. They were not on vacation. A small band of Uru-sine troops had been sent to Earth when word had reached the Plicusine High Council that CZ76a may have been loosed on Earth.


The Uru-sine team leader told Gladius Zarcon, "Confidentially, we were sent here to handle this so that Andal would not be found in material breach of the peace treaty because quite frankly, you Andalans taste a bit, uh, gamey and the treaty stipulates we'd have to eat some of you. No offense."

Zarcon bowed to the team leader, "None taken. You really think we're gamey?"

"I think it's all the mot'tal that you people eat. (Mot'tal is the Andalan equivalent of "free range" Terran elk.)"

Zarcon shrugged, "Maybe you got a point."

Together the Uru-sine team and Zarcon's team traced the CZ76a back to Bossevain. They destroyed the plant and office and then went looking for Warren.

Warren's death was unfortunate. He was basically a nice guy, just a little nerdy. Well, okay, a lot nerdy and obsessed with sex, but he was well intentioned. He had no idea that what he had made was actually CZ76a but when he saw the grizzly bear in his room, dressed in what appeared to be a tailored Italian suit, he knew instinctively that the end was upon him.

Zarcon's team erased Karen's memory and were in the process of erasing Agent Douglas' memory when the wail of multiple police car sirens, belonging to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, was heard in the distance.

In the mad scramble to evacuate and with the motel guests now awake and standing outside their rooms, Agent Douglas was accidentally dropped in the field across from the motel where the choppers had landed.

Karen Olafson, a fair skinned, red haired descendant of the Vikings, moved to Los Angeles where she became both the mother/priestess and whore to a black gang in South Central L.A. Though she enjoyed the attention of her virile acolytes/masters she had a strange longing for a cock that looked like a Missouri River bullhead catfish.

FBI Special Agent Clarence Edward "Bob" Mulder returned to the Bismarck field office and retired the following year. He bought some land up near the Canadian border and started raising elk. He also wrote a book highly critical of the television program "The X-Files" entitled, "Don't Call Me Mulder."

Agent Samantha Douglas, after extensive debriefing by the FBI, NSA, the CIA and NASA, requested and got a promotion and a transfer. She became the new Special Agent in Charge of the Organized Crime Task Force for New York.

With her new position and resources, she was able to discretely find almost all the men who bought Be Big Extra from Warren.

A 46 year old, nebbishy accountant living in Long Beach, Long Island, with his mother, bought a two year supply. He was a mutant of proportions greater than Warren (The mutation was permanent). After a whirlwind courtship Samantha proposed to him, he accepted, he moved out of his mother's house and they moved to Montauk.

They had four sons together.

Samantha's husband died seven years after their marriage from postural hypotension. While he and Samantha were having an erotic moment on the deck of their home, his sudden erection caused him to black out and he fell off the deck and hit his head on a landscaping stone.

No one knew the reason but the winter after her husband died, FBI Assistant Deputy Director Samantha Douglas took a six week leave of absence and spent part of the winter in Bossevain, Manitoba.

The Andalans got to do their research project that was the ultimate cause of this whole sordid incident.

Their funding came from selling 153 million email addresses in their database to a multi level marketing company and a company that - with secret help from certain rogue Andalans - produced a pill guaranteed to increase a woman's breast size.

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4 Comments
perfect_debperfect_debover 16 years ago

brilliant - funniest thing ive read in ages. well paced and well written

DenkkarDenkkarover 17 years ago
Soooooo good

I wasn't going to read this story since the title didn't seem very promising, but I'm glad I did. Funny erotica for the win !

SlickTonySlickTonyover 20 years ago
Very Funny

Wickedly funny takeoff on popular culture on this planet!

AnonymousAnonymousover 20 years ago
Hahahahahaha!

Oh my god, that was so fucking funny. One of the top 5 stories I've read on this site; possibly the funniest dirty story I've read anywhere.

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