Forever

Lily heard a hint of skepticism in his voice, but said nothing.

"I'll talk to you tonight then."

Now it was Lily's turn to hesitate. "Marcus, maybe -- uh -- I don't know . . . " She was trying to tell him not to call, but her mouth was not cooperating.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice elevated to a higher pitch.

Lily relented. "No. No. Nothing. We'll talk tonight."

"Good. I can't wait."

"Me, too," she replied, her emotions getting the better of her.

*****

The rest of the day was almost unbearable. Her nerves were jangling relentlessly despite the Xanax that she took three times a day. She was restless. She had no appetite. Marcia was visibly concerned. She checked Lily's vital signs more often than she usually did. She tried to convince Lily to eat something.

Lily couldn't bear the nagging. She settled on having a bowl of triple fudge ice cream before Marcia went home.

Marcus called at 8:20.

They fell into their pattern of pleasant greetings and questions about the events of their day.

Lily reached her limit after only a few minutes. She had to do this. She had to end it. And she had to end it now.

"Marcus," she began, hearing a distinct quiver in her voice, "I don't think -- I mean we have to stop -- I don't know if I can --"

"What's wrong, Lily?" His voice was strained. "What happened?"

"It's about you -- no -- you and me. It's just -- just . . . " Much to her amazement, Lily suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh my God," Marcus exclaimed. "What are you talking about? Did something happen? Are you all right?"

Lily began to sob, a sound that was quite unfamiliar to her ears. "Marcus, I love you," she blurted out.

He breathed a sigh of relief into the phone. "Mon dieu!"

"Oh Christ, " Lily groaned. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm just an old fool. An old dying fool."

"No, no, no," he protested. "You're no fool." He paused to clear his throat. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you just said that."

"W-what?"

"I've been wanting to say it for so long. But I was afraid. I'm still afraid."

Lily sniffled and reached for a tissue. Tears were pouring down her face and her nose was dripping. "Why are you afraid?" she managed to ask.

"Because I was worried you didn't feel the same way about me," he replied softly.

"Oh, Marcus." She began to cry again. She just couldn't seem to stop -- to hold it all in. "How could you even think that? After all we've shared, how much we care about each other . . . " She tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle another sob. "We're soul mates, Marcus." As soon as the words left her lips, Lily regretted saying them.

"Yes, yes we are." Marcus' voice was just barely above a whisper.

"But it's not fair," she protested. "It's not fair to you. You shouldn't be wasting your time with me. I'll be gone soon and -- "

"Love is love," he said, cutting her off. "Amour! It's what life is all about."

"No, it isn't," she murmured.

"You say that, but you don't mean it. I know you too well. You put up a very solid wall, but I can see between the bricks."

They talked for a while longer. Well, Lily tried to talk, but mostly cried. Marcus did most of the talking, comforting her, expressing his love for her.

"Don't cry," Marcus urged many times during their strained conversation.

"I'm so tired," Lily muttered a while later. "I'm exhausted."

"I know, my sweet. Go to sleep. Get some rest."

"I will."

"And dream about me, okay?"

Lily could see his smile in her mind.

"Okay."

*****

Lily was surprised to find herself in a good mood in the morning. Marcia seemed shocked by the sudden change, but didn't ask any questions. Lily was grateful. She couldn't even imagine how she could explain things to her.

It seemed to take an eternity for noon to arrive, but it finally did. Lily logged on with highly charged enthusiasm. But, Marcus was not there.

She stayed online for two hours. Nothing.

Lily tried not to read too much into it. There were so many reasons why he could have been forced to miss their lunch chat.

The remainder of the day dragged on and on. She didn't care about anything except hearing Marcus' voice on the phone.

But, he didn't call.

Lily stayed awake until midnight, trying to remain calm.

*****

The next morning, she woke with a start. Marcus' absence was the first thought that snapped into her mind. She sulked all morning, feeling like a silly schoolgirl, watching the clock and waiting. Again, she logged onto the laptop at lunchtime. Again, he wasn't there.

It took a while, but Lily finally screwed up enough courage to call his cell number. There was no answer. The outgoing voicemail message kicked in. She contemplated leaving a message, but couldn't think of what to say.

Depressed and forlorn, she took a Percocet and a Xanax and went to sleep.

*****

"Lily?"

Lily sat up, startled. The glow from the television was the only light in the darkened room.

Marcia was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "There's someone here to see you."

"Someone is here?" Lily asked incredulously. She looked at the clock. It was early evening. "Who?"

"It's a man," Marcia answered. "A black man."

Oh My God! "Tell him I'm not here. No, wait, that doesn't make sense. Tell him I'm asleep."

Marcia hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Lily groaned as thoughts and images and words spun about wildly inside her head. "Yes, I'm sure." She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"All right."

Lily's body was rigid as she sat there in bed, listening to muffled voices coming from the living room. She closed her eyes. This was awful, just awful.

"Lily?"

Her eyes flew open in a flash. She knew that voice. "Marcus!" She pulled the sheet up to her chin. She was wearing a matronly sleeveless cotton nightgown. "What are you doing here?" she cried, one hand flying to her head to make sure her scarf was in place. It was.

"I had to see you, Lily." Marcus took a few tentative steps forward. "I just had to see you."

"But -- "

He stepped further into the room, obviously growing bolder with each stride, until he reached the bed. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt, faded jeans and sandals. His hairstyle had changed since he had sent Lily his picture. He now sported short dreadlocks.

Marcus sat down and reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. "Ma chere," he whispered. "At last . . . "

She started to cry. Dear God, why can't I stop crying?

"Ssssh." Marcus continued to stroke her cheek, wiping away some of her tears in the process.

Lily touched his other hand and entwined her fingers with his. "I'm glad you're here." The words had gushed out before she could stop them.

He smiled. "Good."

She smiled back at him.

Suddenly, he stood up. "I have a surprise for you."

Lily looked up at him. He was taller than she had imagined. "A surprise?"

He reached out an arm, offering his hand to her. "Can you stand?"

"I think so." She took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet.

"Come with me," he said with a smile.

"Where?" Lily felt her eyes widen with trepidation.

"We're going to have a picnic on the beach and watch the sun set."

"But, I can't. I'm not dressed. I -- "

Marcus placed his fingertips against her lips to silence her. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters right now except for this."

Lily felt a flutter in her heart that she hadn't felt in years and years. "I can't walk very well," she warned him.

"Just hold onto me," he told her as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "We'll just take it slowly."

After pausing for Lily to slip on sandals, they made their way to the front door, Lily leaning heavily on Marcus. Finally, they stepped outside together and he guided her to his rental car.

"Ready?" he asked after helping her into the car seat and fastening her seatbelt.

Lily nodded. She couldn't believe this was happening.

*****

The sky was changing colors when they reached the parking lot. Shades of lilac, crimson and indigo blue were painted across the sky.

"How did you know that this is my favorite part of the beach?" she asked in surprise.

He smiled. "Marcia told me."

Lily thought about this for a moment and then began to laugh. I sure misjudged her, didn't I?*

Marcus helped her out of the car. "I've got a cooler and a blanket in the back. Let me just grab those and -- "

Lily caught sight of the wooden steps leading down to the narrow strip of sand that constituted the "beach" in Naples. "Marcus, I can't walk down those stairs."

He paused in the middle of taking the items out of the car. "Okay," he said, tilting his head, clearly thinking. "Wait here." He took her hand and helped her to sit down on the top plank.

She watched as Marcus carried the cooler and blanket to the beach. Moments later, he returned and took her hand again. Even with his help, Lily had to struggle to stand. She looked out at the sand and sighed with frustration.

Marcus' brows knotted with concern. "What's wrong?"

"I can't walk in the sand," she replied softly. "I just can't."

He smiled. "Not a problem." He scooped her body up into his muscular arms. "My goodness, you're light as a feather!"

Lily chuckled, but felt embarrassed at the same time. She was only light as a feather because she was wasting away.

Marcus carried her onto the beach and laid her down on the blanket. The sun was beginning to set. Lily propped herself up onto her elbows to look up at the sky, but her eyes drifted to Marcus instead. She found herself wanting to drink in every contour and shadows of his face so that she would be able to memorize this moment. She sensed he was feeling quite the same as his eyes remained focused on her face.

"You're more beautiful than I imagined," he said. "That picture I've been hounding you about wouldn't have done you justice."

Lily felt herself blushing and her hand went immediately to the scarf on her head to make sure that it was still covering her baldness.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat and turned to open the cooler. "Best get to this before we lose the daylight altogether."

Lily nodded in agreement and used what little energy she had to sit up.

They shared a small meal of farmer's bread, brie and white wine. There were also grapes for dessert and Marcus insisted on feeding them to Lily, one by one, with his fingers. She laughed with delight, surprised at how easily the sounds of joy were coming out of her mouth.

When they were finished eating, Marcus pushed the cooler away and stretched out on top of the blanket. After the briefest moment of hesitation, Lily did the same.

"This is so beautiful, Marcus," she said softly, resting her head against his shoulder. "I'm so glad you came."

"So am I," he replied as he rolled his head toward her and kissed her.

Lily's breath caught in her chest. The warmth of his lips was amazing. She opened her mouth, her tongue seeking his. She felt unexpected ripples of desire flowing through her body as they kissed, and kissed some more.

"Marcus . . . " she breathed into his mouth; but she had no further words to say.

He began to stroke her body through her flimsy nightgown. Lily tugged at his t-shirt, trying to pull it over his head. Marcus stopped touching her just long enough to remove his shirt. He was breathing faster. She could see the rapid movement of his bare, hairless chest rising and falling beside her.

For Lily, things began to move in slow motion. Marcus removed her nightgown. Then his hands were touching her everywhere, lingering on her breasts, tracing the sharp curves of her hips. His lips followed his hands, planting gentle kisses against every inch of her skin. His head moved back up to her chest and his full lips closed over the tips of first one breast and then the other. He began sucking her nipples gently.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he murmured as his hand reached down between her legs.

Lily nodded, breathless. She reached for his belt but her hands were shaking so much that she couldn't even maneuver the clasp. Marcus eased her hands away and took over. In no more than ten seconds, he was as completely naked as she was.

He embraced her, holding her tightly against his chest. Lily ran her fingers up and down the length of his back, scraping her short nails against his smooth black skin.

Marcus shifted his position and began suckling at her breasts once more. A moan of pleasure escaped Lily's lips. She could feel his hard penis pressing against her thigh. And she could feel moisture seeping out from between her legs.

Marcus reached between her thighs, parted them gently, and slowly swirled two fingers around her wet vaginal lips.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you," he said again.

"You're not." Lily's voice was nothing more than a gasp of breath trying to produce words.

Marcus removed his fingers. His body slithered down the length of hers. He took hold of her hips, placed his mouth between her legs and nibbled at her sensitive flesh. Then the tip of his tongue began flicking against her clitoris, tracing circles around the hardened nub.

"Oh God!" Lily cried. "Oh Marcus!" She grabbed hold of his muscular shoulders as the shivers and shudders of an approaching orgasm wracked at her weak body.

Marcus pulled his mouth away. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she lied. The arching of her back was sending bolts of pain shooting down her spine. But she didn't care. Pain and pleasure were colliding; she chose the pleasure. "Don't stop," she urged him, tangling her fingers in his dreadlocks, "don't stop."

He pressed his mouth to her vagina once again and used his tongue to toy with her clitoris some more.

Lily heard sounds coming out of her throat that she didn't even know she could produce. Her orgasm was consuming her, fast and hard.

Marcus crawled up the length of her body and held her tightly as she lost all control. She was shaking and moaning. She grabbed onto him for dear life until the final shudder released her from the joint grasp of ecstasy and agony.

He kissed her hungrily, devouring her lips with his own. Lily could taste her own juices as she returned his kiss with every ounce of passion she possessed.

Though satiated and struggling with the pain, Lily parted her legs again and reached down to guide Marcus' stiff penis into her soaking wet vagina. Marcus groaned immediately. He propped himself up on his hands and began pushing into her gently.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Push harder."

Marcus accepted her invitation and began thrusting into her more forcefully. He lowered his head to kiss her head and Lily's scarf slipped off. He took no notice and continued to plant kiss after kiss upon her bald head as the pumping of his penis into her increased in both speed and force.

Lily scratched at his back, then took his head between her hands and kissed him, bit his lower lip and sucked on his tongue. The tip of his penis was grazing against her sweet spot and she felt another climax approaching. She also felt Marcus' body begin to tremble with his own approaching release. Guttural groans escaped his throat and, with one final convulsive thrust, he erupted inside her, flooding her vagina with a rush of hot semen.

Marcus rolled away from her and collapsed onto the blanket.

Lily willed her body to relax. The pain was rising to an excruciating level, yet the pleasure of their lovemaking was striving mightily to defeat it.

He took her into his arms and held her against his body. They were both dripping with sweat. Above them, darkness had fallen. The glow of a half-moon illuminated the black sky and created a sparkling shimmer upon the ocean.

The only sound around them was the soft whisper of the surf.

Suddenly, Lily felt tears on her cheeks.

Even though his eyes were closed, Marcus somehow sensed her tears. "What's wrong?" he whispered. "Did I hurt you? Are you all right?"

She didn't want to tell him about her pain. She didn't want to spoil this delicious moment. "Nothing's wrong," she murmured. "I'm just -- " She faltered. Then a grin strained at her lips. "I'm happy."

Marcus chuckled. "So am I, ma chere. So am I."

Still, tears continued to flow down her face.

Marcus squeezed her tighter. "Don't cry, baby. Don't cry. Je t'aime"

"Je t'aime trop," Lily replied, resting her head against his damp chest. "How long can you stay?" she asked, dreading the answer.

He took her chin in his hand and raised her head to face his. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Forever."

END

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