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Click hereAuthor's Note: Some people complained about my story, Fortuitous Circumstances, so I rewrote it.
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I turned the knob of the door to the laundry room and walked in, carrying my sack of dirty clothes in the other hand. Well, it was until I looked up and saw my naked sister Melissa sucking our brother Andrew's cock. Then the sack hit the floor and all my clothes spilled out. I let out a huge gasp of shock, and Andrew's eyes jerked open. He pushed Mel off of him and I ran back to my room.
I slammed the door closed locking it and threw myself on my bed. My face was hot and red, and I couldn't catch my breath. Then my mind wandered to the brief glimpse of Melissa's boob that I saw before I turned tail. My dick twitched at the image. I had lusted after my sister for years, but had kept it my most closely guarded secret, fearing her reaction if she ever discovered my perverted kink. Little did I know she was acting on that very same fantasy the entire time with our younger brother.
I reached down my boxer's and squeezed my cock. My eyes rolled back into my head, and then I was jerked out of my reverie by a loud knock on my door.
"Who's there?" I questioned
"It's me" the intruder answered in Mel's voice.
God, this was going to be awkward. I got up and opened the door. As soon as I did, Melissa shoved me back inside and closed the door, locking it. She was wearing my bathrobe, which had been in the sack of laundry. I sat on the edge of my bed.
"Look, I'm sorry for walking in on you like that."
"Why should you be sorry? We really shouldn't have been doing that there. I tried to tell Andrew that, but he insisted it was OK because everyone was gone. We both forgot about you being here. You've been gone so long, we kinda got used to it."
I'd been in the Army for the last eight years, mostly deployed to Afghanistan.
"Yeah...I guess so."
There was a long, awkward silence.
"Look, Daniel, you can't tell anyone about what you saw. I would die. Please, I'm begging you."
"Well, I don't know...it's a pretty juicy piece of gossip. I need something in return for my silence."
I was joking, but Melissa took me seriously, her eyes welled up with tears. "I'll do anything, Dan" as she said it, she laid her hand suggestively on my crotch. My jaw dropped.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?!" I asked, flabbergasted.
She said nothing in response, she simply started undoing my pants fly. I wanted to stop her, but my little head was depriving my big head of blood supply. Mr. Penis was in charge of my body now, and Mr. Penis didn't care who was about to stick him inside their mouth as long as it was a female and her mouth was warm and wet.
Oh was it. Her mouth rivaled half the pussies I'd fucked so far, which admittedly wasn't that many, but it was a few. She sucked on my schlong harder than a hoover vaccum.
"Oh gawd..." I moaned involuntarily as she slid my dick out of her mouth with a loud pop and just tongued my head "Take the robe off, I want to see your tits!"
She enthusiastically obliged, removing her mouth from my man sausage barely long enough to shed my robe before devouring it again. She took my entire six inches into her mouth and held it there while she tried to massage the head with her throat muscles.
I lost it, grabbing a handful of her hair, and proceeded to skull fuck her ramming my cock in and out of her mouth. "Uuuuuuuuugh" I grunted as I finally exploded down her throat. When I finished drowning her in semen, I let go of her hair, allowing her to bolt to her feet and run out of my bedroom, crying hysterically.
I hoped my folks were still out. I'd have a lot of explaining to do if they saw my naked sister fleeing from my room.
I rewrote this story and renamed it. Everyone who commented on this story, please check out Homecumming here: www.literotica.com/s/homecumming-4. I really tried to improve on it and I would like to know what y'all think.
It is a sound story but could do with more detail as others had said. I think that you should make a second part to this because I personally really enjoyed it. Keep writing and use all criticism try to evolve how you write about these things and make them better.
You need to spend more time developing the characters. There is no depth.
You go from 'Drop everything and Run!' to 'suck my dick Bitch!' in far too few heartbeats.
To Epiphany_Jones: This is MY story and I reserve the right to delete any comments from trolls who have nothing to say but "this story sucks." I really don't care about your opinion and I didn't force you to read it. If you don't like it MOVE ON! If you want to tell me what you didn't like about the story, go ahead. I am new at this and would appreciate ACTUAL CRITICISM. If not, DO NOT POST ON MY STORY.
Comments FAR too harsh on this story. The idea is really sound, having the brother walk in on his siblings who are already doing it. But how about having it happen slower to really draw out what's hot about this sort of thing. Have him be jealous of his brother and start to see his little sister in a new light. I thought the sex writing was actually pretty good if not a little undeveloped (as in, it felt like you were writing this while horny and never properly rewrote it after from a flaccid perspective). This story needs work, sure, but the criticism is misleading. You're on the right path, just take a little more time. But the commenter before me is right. Don't delete criticism, even if it's reactionary pompous billshit. I'm more embarrassed for the critics than the author. At least the author was earnest.
Exactly the same as all the other thousands of Brother Sister stories -.-