Free at Last Ch. 02

"Yeah, you said after our session. Which was supposed ot last two hours which really only lasted forty five minutes. So I should have an hour and fifteen minutes to hide." Nikolai said.

"You should know that I know you better then that." Nikolai thought about what that meant and sighed, frowning.

"You knew I wouldn't make it a whole session." He growled.

"Yup."

"God damn it." Nikolai growled.

"You ended it early. You could have kept going and missed your therapy."

"I changed my mind lets go back. I want to talk about shit."

"No."

"Emotional, heavy, important, shit. Henstridge please!" Nikolai begged.

"No."

"I need you, I think I'm having a breakdown. I see that bottle of pills over there and all I want to do is swallow them all like pez. Help me!" Nikolai grabbed her shirt as best as he could. Henstridge tried to hide her smile as she pushed open the door the the physical therapy room.

"If you really cared about me. Henstridge, you would know I'm in a very fragile state."

"Uh huh." Henstridge wheeled him up to a table with a large looking man. "Have fun."

"Wait, Henstridge, HENSTRIDGE! Don't leave me here!" He locked eyes with the large man before turning in his wheelchair and reaching for a retreating Henstridge with limp hands.

"I'm Jackson." The large man said. "You're not going to have fun." He smiled, showing a row of gleaming white teeth.

"Help me." He whimpered to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ugh." Nikolai grunted as the orderly covered him in the thin hospital sheets.

"Rough day?" Clark laughed as he leaned on the door frame.

"Shhhh." Nikolai held up a weak arm. "Your voice is making my arms hurt." He let his arm fall down to the bed.

"You had your two hour session with the shrink today, right?" Clark asked. Nikolai nodded weakly.

"Yup, and she tricked me." Nikolai said.

"How?" Clark sat down in a chair.

"She schedueled my physical therapy session for halfway through our own."

"Ah, so if you weasled out of it-"

"I charm my way out of it, theres not weasling." Nikolai gave a weak hand a wave.

"Right." Clark chuckled. "So if you 'charmed' your way out of it, you got to go to Physical therapy." Clark laughed.

"Yup."

"How was it?"

"Have you ever sliced through all your nerves and tendons with a razor blade?" Nikolai asked.

"No."

"It hurts. But you know what hurts fifteen times more?"

"What?"

"When a large man named Jackson tries to play the recently repaired tendons like a violin. Using a hot piece of metal as the bow."

"I doubt he did that." Clark smiled.

"No but it felt like it." Nikolai whimpered. Clark laughed. And squeezed his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi, Nikky!" Ana jumped onto his bed.

"Anna-Banana, I think Nikky is a little tired today." Clark smiled sympatheticly when Nikolai only squeezed his eyes shut harder.

"Why?"

"He worked really hard yesterday." Clark laughed. Nikolai opened an eye, he took in a deep breath and fought with his sore muscles to raise his arm. Once the arm was fully raised he struggled to leave only one finger up.

"See look, it's already paying off." Clark smiled.

"What's that mean?" Ana looked up at Nikolai's raised finger.

"It means Nikolai is really grumpy and we will come back tomorrow." Clark laughed and began nudging Ana out the door.

"Alright, time for your physical therapy." the nurse came in. Clark could hear Nikolai groan from the hallway.

"No." He drew the word out in a long high whine.

"Yes." The nurse mimicked him.

"I just had my first day yesterday, don't I get a break?" Clark tried to hide his chuckle.

"Okay, fine. One day, and then it's back to work."

"Come on, Ana-Banana. How about I read you a book?" Clark scooped Ana up into his arms and began walking away. Ana let Monty dangle from her arms as she watched the door way of Nikolai's room fade back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Watch this." Nikolai said. He began picking up the stray paper clips from the table and placing them in the small box.

"Damn, you're getting good!" Clark smiled. Nikolai smiled back and continued to put the paper clips in the box. He missed a few but got the majority into the container. It had been over a month since the day after his first day of physical therapy.

"How is your other arm doing?" Clark pointed at his left arm.

"Not as well, but it's improving." Nikolai attempted to use his other arm. It was a great deal better than it had been before, but not anywhere near his good arm.

"Got moved off of suicide watch, been staying full therapy sessions, improving in arm mobility. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you getting better?" Clark smiled.

"What? No." Nikolai waived a hand dismissively.

"Oh yes you are!" Clark laughed.

"False." Nikolai dumped the paperclips out and began putting them back into the container.

"True." Clark gave a smirk when Nikolai looked up at him. After a week or two of Nikolai using the single word sentence to dismiss something, Clark had finally come up with an answer to use every time Nikolai said the word.

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Nikolai asked.

"Oh you know, the usual. Ben and Jerry's Fish Food Ice cream, and a House marathon." Clark smiled.

"You need a man." Nikolai paused what he was doing with the paperclips to look at Clark. Clark sighed and pushed out his bottom lip in a pout.

"I know." Nikolai chuckled and got back to his work.

"Why are you still doing that?" Clark laughed.

"I promised Jackson that if I did this for an hour a day for each hand then I could miss a day of therapy every now and then." Nikolai chuckled mischievously.

"Weasel"

"Charmer." Nikolai pointed out. Clark ruffled his hair and Nikolai cursed at him.

"Asshole."

"There are children in this hospital, Nikolai." Clark said in a hushed voice.

"Speaking of which, where is the Midget?" Nikolai glanced around at the floor dramaticly.

"She had treatment today." Clark's face lost the smile it had only a few seconds ago.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, we're open with eachother right? You talk to me about everything." Clark said. Nikolai shrugged.

"What theres something you havent told me?" Clark said surprised.

"Well, you know... why I did it." Nikolai shrugged.

"Oh... Well I don't care about that." Clark said.

"You don't?"

"No, we talk about everything else. That one little thing is only-"

"The reason we met." Nikolai interupted.

"Okay, but it doesn't matter to me. It was a dark time in your life and as far as I'm concerned, the fact that you're getting over it is enough for me. If you ever want to tell me That's fine, but if not then That's fine too." Clark said. Nikolai smiled and dropped the last paperclip into the container before putting it aside.

"Well, thank you for that." Nikolai said.

"Why are you like this with me?" Clark asked suddenly.

"What?"

"You're such a... well you're just... I mean with other people you..."

"Are an asshole?" Nikolai laughed. Clark blushed and nodded silently.

"I don't know, you're different." Nikolai said.

"You don't spare me the sarcasm though." Clark laughed.

"Now what kind of fair god would I be if I didn't treat you the same as all of my other loyal subjects?"

"King or God?" Clark laughed.

"C all of the above?" Nikolai cocked his head to the side.

"How about D, handsome new boyfriend?" Clark asked. Nikolai stopped chuckling.

"Is this your way of asking me out?"

"Yes." Clark said seriously. Nikolai looked down at his hands with a frown.

"It's okay to say no. I'm a big boy I can take it." Clark said.

"It's not that." Nikolai said.

"Then its a yes?" Clark beamed.

"No."

"So its a no?"

"No, its not a no!" Nikolai sighed.

"Then its a yes?"

"I don't know!"

"Wait what?" Clark looked confused. Nikolai sighed.

"I don't know, can I think about it?"

"Of course, you don't have to answer now." Clark said. He grabbed his jacket. "I'll leave you alone for awhile to think about it. There's no pressure. If you say no... I'd like to still be friends."

"I'd like that too. But that's not saying I'm going to say no... I just want some time to think. Okay?"

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Nikolai gave him a warm smile and Clark returned it before walking out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Clark asked me out." Nikolai picked at the leather couch.

"On a date?"

"No, he wanted me to see this really cool cloud outside. Yes out on a fucking date." Nikolai snapped.

"Okay, okay." Henstridge put her hands up diffensivly. A silenced passed between them before Henstridge spoke. "What did you say?"

"I said I wanted to think about it."

"Why?"

"What the fuck do you mean why?"

"Why do you have to think about it, what's the problem?" She asked, waiving a pen as she spoke.

"Have you not been listening the last two months or so?" Nikolai growled.

"I have. But we've been over this. Has Clark done anything to make you think he isn't a nice guy?"

"No." Nikolai said quietly.

"Has he ever hurt you? Physically or mentally?"

"No."

"Do you like his daughter?"

"Yes."

"Do you want a boyfriend?"

Nikolai stayed silent.

"Nikolai?"

"I... I want to be happy." Nikolai said quietly.

"What makes you happy?"

"I don't know." Nikolai said, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Does being with Clark make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Does being alone make you happy?"

"In a way."

"In what way?" Henstridge was scribbling things down as they talked.

"I want to feel independent. I don't want to have to rely on someone." Nikolai said.

"Nikolai we talked about this, everyone needs-"

"Everyone needs someone some time. I know. But I don't want to HAVE to rely on someone. Clark is there if I need him. But I want to know that I can stand on my own two feet first." Nikolai said.

"You don't think you can?"

"I don't know yet."

"Ultimately it's a decision you have to make, Nikolai."

"I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not to pressure you... But we've been sitting here for fifteen minutes making small talk." Clark blushed.

"I know."

"So?"

"I..."

"This isn't good is it?" Clark frowned. Nikolai bit his lip.

"It's not that I don't want to, Clark."

"Then what is it?" Clark asked, confused.

"I just need..." Nikolai tried to find the words. "I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. Or at least make sure that I'm capable of it. I'm interested, trust me... But I need to make sure that I'm not going to rely on a man to keep me steady. Do you understand?" Nikolai asked. Clark nodded. He looked disapointed, but understanding.

"I know what you mean. And I respect you for that. It shows that you're really making an effort to get your life back on track." Clark said.

"Thank you. I'm glad you understand." Nikolai smiled.

"But we're still friends, right?" Clark asked.

"Of course. And friends help friends, right?" Nikolai bit his lip.

"Right..." Clark said cautiously.

"I get out of here in a few weeks." Nikolai started.

"Thats amazing! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you." Clark hugged Nikolai. He felt Nikolai give him his strongest hug back and when he pulled away Nikolai finished speaking.

"And my landlord refuses to let me back into the building because I caused a ton of property damage what with the blood and what not." Nikolai winced.

"Uh huh..." Clark was cautious again.

"I've looked for a new place. But none are close enough to the hospital, or they're to small, or to expensive, or-"

"What are you getting at here, Nikolai?" Clark asked. Nikolai tried to keep himself for melting when Clark said his name. Of course he failed miserably.

"I need a place to stay. It would only be temporarily. You live close enough to the hospital and I promise I'll find a new place as soon as I can and it's fine if you want to say no and-"

"Nikolai, Nikolai. Calm down." Clark laughed.

"I just don't want you to think that I'm trying to mooch of you I just-"

"Nikolai." Clark laughed harder.

"What?" Nikolai shouted.

"It's fine, I would love to have you stay with me." Clark said, with a smile.

"Oh." Nikolai said simply.

"Oh." Clark laughed.

"It wont be for very long I promise I'll get out of your way." Nikolai said.

"It's okay." Clark smiled.

"okay." Nikolai repeated.

"Okay." Clark smiled back. Clark got caught up in Nikolai's eyes and before he knew it their lips had met. He was about to pull back when Nikolai returned the kiss.

"I'm sorry." He said once he seperated.

"We just talked about this." Nikolai smiled slowly.

"I know. We suck." Clark chuckled.

"We? You started it." Nikolai poked him in the chest.

"You were't trying to stop." Clark poked back.

"Okay, maybe I didn't but I shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have started it." Nikolai raised his nose. Clark rolled his eyes and ruffled Nikolai's hair who only cursed at him and tried to bite his hand as he pulled away.

"No one told me you bite." Clark said, pulling his hand back just in time.

"It's only nibbles." Nikolai pouted.

"I could look forward to that." Clark raised an eyebrow.

"Me too." Nikolai smiled. " But later! Stop dragging me back into your love trance of death." Nikolai frowned.

"Is that what I'm doing?" Clark chuckled.

"Weasel." Nikolai turned his head away from Clark.

"Charmer." Clark smiled.