Free Universal Carnal Knowledge Pt. 43

XLIII

"An unusual birthday present"

As she heard my approach Laura stood up and faced the door with bated breath and an expression of fascinated terror on her face. But as I entered, she all but collapsed. All the air seemed to go out of her as if she had taken a haymaker in the midriff and with a kind of combined snort and chortle she sat down abruptly on the bed.

I pulled up a chair and sat near her. Very red in the face, she was gasping for air and her eyes were watering, and she avoided looking at me.

"What's the matter?" I asked in some concern.

"I'm so sorry," she said, recovering her composure somewhat. "That was very rude of me. It's just that, well, er --" She hesitated.

"Please be absolutely honest," I implored her.

"Well, I'm sorry, James, but you weren't at all what I was expecting. I thought you'd be, well, different somehow, and you're just, well --"

"Fat, bald, and fifty?"

"I was going to say 'ordinary'. If I passed you in the street I shouldn't look at you twice. I'm sorry for the way I reacted, but to be honest, I'd built up this picture of you as so imposing and charismatic and it was just such an anticlimax."

"That's all right," I said. "I want you to be honest. Have you noticed anything else?"

"Not a thing. In fact, if you really want me to be honest, I'm beginning to think some of my students have decided to perpetrate an incredibly elaborate practical joke."

"If they had," I suggested, "they'd have found a more glamorous leading man."

"And, and ..." Laura's mind was clearly in a whirl with this idea, but then she rejected it. "A nice girl like Penny would never have demeaned herself like that, just for a hoax. It must really be true, but I don't feel anything."

"You wouldn't expect to. It takes a few minutes to work. Just keep talking."

"Well, I hardly know where to start. It's been such a strange day. I keep thinking it's some sort of dream I'm about to wake up from. Let me talk about Elspeth." She took the girl's arm and gave it a congratulatory squeeze. Elspeth gave a gratified nod of acknowledgment.

"You know," said Laura reflectively, "colleagues often told me that one of the humbling things about teaching at a place like Cambridge is that, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you'll have a student cleverer than you. I always pretended to agree with them, but to tell the truth it was false modesty on my part because I didn't want to sound arrogant. The fact is, although I've had some very bright students I've always known I was better, and I suppose I didn't think that would ever change. Until today, that is."

Elspeth was now looking embarrassed, even a little contrite. "Laura," she said in a quiet, halting voice, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just had to make you see that you were wrong."

"Elspeth, don't apologise," said Laura firmly. "When you think someone's wrong, you argue your corner and never give up. That's what I've always tried to teach all my students. And as for hurting me, you haven't at all. My colleagues were right; I see that now. I was bound to find that cleverer student one day, and I'm glad it turned out to be you. You were magnificent." She turned to me. "Weren't you impressed, James?"

"I was."

"And you, too, actually, James," she went on. "Maybe I was a bit hasty when I first saw you. I don't know your background but you come across as an educated man."

I was beginning to realise that to call someone "educated" was the greatest compliment Laura knew how to bestow. I nodded my appreciation and, following Fran's example, gave the degree-holder's equivalent of name, rank, and serial number.

"Oxford, 1978."

Laura, a Cambridge girl through and through, sniffed disdainfully. "Oxford? Oh, well, so I was mistaken."

We both laughed quietly at this harmless academic banter.

"And," she continued, "I've noticed that when you smile your face puckers in a way that's actually quite attractive. You've got very intelligent eyes, too."

I used them to gaze at her steadily. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Oh, god," she muttered. A strange combination of fascination and fear, tinged with awe, slowly spread across her face. "It's started, hasn't it?" she whispered.

"Just keep talking."

She took a deep breath. That familiar sparkle began to appear in her eyes, and instead of looking around the room at intervals she now gazed squarely at me. "I've got such a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. All my muscles seem to be tensing. I feel flushed." She shifted to the edge of the bed to be nearer me. "I'm so sorry I was rude when you came in. I don't know what I was thinking of. You're a lovely man. It's no wonder all these girls like you."

She paused and for a few moments simply sat there gazing at me. Then her academic outlook reasserted itself and with a visible effort to concentrate she spoke in a more analytic vein.

"It's extraordinary," she said. "Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed. You're still the same man I saw when you came in the room a few minutes ago, but now everything about you is just perfect."

"My age?" I suggested. "My weight?"

"Exactly," she agreed. "You're so mature and experienced. And your build is beautiful, so much of you to love."

"And my bald pate?"

She smiled. "You mean your intelligent brow? Oh, James, I know exactly what you're getting at and yes, of course you're right. At some intellectual level I know -- or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I remember -- that these are features I'd never normally have found attractive in a man. And I also know that it's the drug that's made the difference. But James, believe me, whatever your uncle's potion does, it does it in spades. The effect is overwhelming, irresistible. And why should I want to resist it? As I sit here now, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the man I'm looking at is more than just handsome and desirable: he's the best and finest man there could ever be, and I simply have to be with him if I can."

She reached out a hand and touched me just above the knee, but tentatively, as if she expected me to object or recoil. When I did neither she put her hand on my leg more firmly and began to run her fingers up toward my thigh. Laura had eyes only for me but I was able to glance about the room and see Wendy, Fran, Connie and Elspeth all with looks of delighted encouragement on their faces.

"Keep talking," I reminded her.

"Oh yes, I forgot. You're too distracting, that's the trouble. James, you're the cleverest, most beautiful man I've ever known. Oh, James, James, please, I need you, I need you," she murmured.

With that she tuned out again and simply sat on the bed drinking me in, pressing her hand gently against my inner thigh. It seemed to me she was perfectly primed. This time I did not remind her to speak. I stood up slowly, drawing her up with me. I kissed her. Then I lifted her up and carried her to the main bedroom.

And the sex? I wish I could say that this uptight academic was an animal in the sack but in fact, although enthusiastic in theory, she was awkward and clumsy in practice. After the first climax she seemed to warm up a bit but overall her lack of experience was evident. Even when I spunked inside her she seemed to fight the breaking orgasm for a few moments, as if she did not recognise it for what it was or were afraid of it, and when it overcame this resistance it was such an overwhelming explosion that she went straight into her trance without, I felt, having got as much from it as she might have done. As I put her to one side I thought this was a girl that needed to do this more often.

Afterwards, I went looking for Elspeth to congratulate her again on her performance. She had got up but was still in the bedroom, talking to Wendy, Fran and Connie. (I noticed that the latter two had shed their clothes already. Elspeth had been naked anyway. Wendy retained her simple frock.)

Elspeth was justifiably proud of herself. "I just can't believe it," she exulted. "I beat Laura in a fair fight. I flat-out won, no doubt about it."

"You've never got the better of her before?" I asked.

"That's just it," said Elspeth. "I don't think anyone has. I'd have heard about it."

"It's certainly not easy," agreed Wendy. "I'm no pushover in an argument --"

"I can vouch for that," I interjected.

"Thank you, darling -- but in the hall earlier I just couldn't hold her."

"I'm sorry I wasn't much use to you," said Fran.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "It's all worked out in the end. You know," I recalled, "the funny thing was, however tense it got, you all, Laura too, stayed so totally formal and proper. It was all so frightfully English of you."

Fran gave a significant cough that she managed to infuse with distinct Scottishness.

"Sorry, British," I corrected myself.

"It was a close thing," said Wendy. "Do you know, James, before you intervened I was thinking I was going to have to hit her with something."

"I'm glad you didn't," I told her. "And she's under control now. We shan't have any more trouble with Laura."

"No," agreed Wendy. "In fact, she makes a nice even fifty for you, darling, on your fiftieth. It's all so fitting, somehow."

"That's a pleasing thought," I agreed, "and it's Elspeth we have to thank more than anyone. An unusual birthday present, Elspeth, a Cambridge don, but very thoughtful of you. Thank you."

Elspeth gave a little naked curtsey. "My pleasure."

"I think you've also proved FUCK doesn't impair intelligence," I added. "In your case, it seems to have enhanced it."

"No, it hasn't," said Elspeth. "I was thinking about that just now. It hasn't made me cleverer; it's just made me more confident. Arguing with Laura always intimidated me before, but not any more."

"Never again," I told her. "You're the master now."

"What's 'gregorian' then?" asked Connie.