Fuck The DC Universe Ch. 01

Ted Kord wasn't a superhero anymore. And his life had never been better.

He'd had a good time as the Blue Beetle. Made some good friends, went on some adventures, actually accomplished one or two good deeds. Hadn't been raped, or brain-washed into an evil assassin, or killed and been brought back to life with a robot arm (Booster would've liked that). He'd just done his bit, developed a heart condition, packed in his blue spandex, and let that new kid in Texas have the name. Little guy seemed to be doing better with it than Ted ever had. Foiled an alien invasion already. That wasn't too shabby.

Now, his life was pretty simple. He slept in till about nine, got up had a healthy gluten-free breakfast, took a moderate jog up and down the blocks—never any muggers in his nice upscale subdivision, so he never had to worry about foiling street crime. Came back, showered, shaved—hot water, not anything like at the old embassy—then he went into work.

His lab was close enough that he could bike to it; that was great for his heart. Then he put in a couple hours doing some good, honest research. At the end of each day, he had something written down—progress. That was something he didn't miss about being a superhero. Locking up some clown—literally, if he was visiting Gotham—and then watching as they just broke out again and got locked up again and wondering what the hell had he accomplished, really? Earned the citizenry a reprieve from being terrorized by that particular clown, so that instead they could be terrorized by all the other clowns?

It was one thing when he was doing it with his friends (and Max Lord), but on his own, he was just a guy in an all-primary-color wardrobe knocking around poor people. Made you worry about a guy, when they did that too often. And hey, maybe a prosthetic leg with a built-in egg timer wouldn't save the world, but it had more of a lasting impact than putting Two-Face in jail for a week.

He owned a small business that paid okay. The work was pleasant. His apartment was a little cramped, but mostly cozy. He was an ordinary, average man with an ordinary, average life. Bilbo Baggins, if he'd been lucky enough never to find the One Ring.

So why was it that during his lunch break, while he'd been getting a healthy meal at Mario's (best kale in town), he'd heard an explosion and rantowardsit? Well, he was in pretty good shape, even with his heart. He'd been sticking real hard to the diet and exercise the doctor had prescribed, getting him into the best shape he'd been in for the last five years. He didn't have a six-pack or anything, but he could probably fit into the suit again if he hadn't sold it on eBay for home theater money. And he had experience with crisis situations. He could work crowd control.

Yeah, that's what he'd do. Pick up any lost kids, help people out of rubble, maybe pull one person out of a burning building, tops. He certainly wasn't going to punch any alien invaders in the face--!

He had pepper spray for that.

Maybe it was because he missed working with a uniformly beautiful collection of female colleagues, all of whom saw nothing inappropriate about skintight bodysuits in the workplace. That idiot Bilbo only got to hang around withdwarves...

Ted ran four blocks before getting to Grand Street, arriving sweaty and low on breath (okay, maybe he wasn't inthatgreat shape). It was about the usual crisis. Dark sorcerer speechifying while he launched fireballs, Zatanna blocking with shielding spells and speaking her own mumbo-jumbo. She looked good. A lot of women in the business had to run and fight all the time, so they tended toward a certain athletic physique. That was great and all, but a little repetitive. Zee, though, she flew around on a magic carpet when she wasn't reading magic books and drawing magic circles. She had a few curves on her. Curves like her fishnet stockings probably had permanent bends--

"Get down!" Zatanna suddenly cried. Ted looked around to see what idiot was standing around during a firefight when he realized that, of course, it was him.

He ducked behind a parked car in time for an eldritch bolt of dark energy to send a chunk of concrete to a demon dimension instead of him. Quickly, he looked around to see how he could help out. Zatanna seemed to have it well in hand. He ran for it, the dark sorcerer laughing after him, before suddenly—

How can this be! – Lothor, you should've known – impossible! I will return! You haven't heard the last – And I'll be there to stop you!

Ted had heard it all before, but Zatanna was pretty good at it. Didn't stammer or accidentally call someone a hot dog like he had when he'd fought the Time Trapper. Safely in the nearest alleyway, Ted poked his head back out to see if anyone needed help. No, Lothor was screaming as he was sucked into a hellish otherworldly vortex. Everything seemed fine.

Brushing himself off, Ted started down the alley. Best to avoid running into Zatanna. It was just too awkward to meet up while one of you was in costume and one of you wasn't. Like seeing a teacher in public when you were a kid. Who let you out of school?

"Thanks for the help," Zatanna said behind him. Ted turned to see her striding through the mouth of the alley, her well-defined calves working splendidly inside her stockings. She definitely had a personal trainer. Maybe he should ask for the guy's name. Or girl. Maybe it was a girl. Zatanna and a girl trainer, working out together, spotting each other, holding a punching bag for Zee, sparring, wrestling, getting all sweaty and then taking a cool shower together—

She's not the only one who could use a cold shower, ya dingus,Ted heard his inner Booster Gold say. Out loud, he said "It was nothing."

"Yes, it was nothing. I was being laconic."

"Sarcastic even," Ted replied.

Zatanna planted her hands on her lips, legs akimbo, in a pose that would definitely get him into her magic show if it were on a poster. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

Ted sighed. "I'm, uh, I used to be the Blue Beetle," he admitted, quick and small.

"Huh? It sounds like you said you're the Blue Beetle."

"I am! Was!"

Zatanna's brow furrowed. "I thought you were Hispanic. Sorry, is that racist? You wear that full-body suit and you speak Spanish all the time, but, maybe you were adopted?"

"No, no, that's a different Blue Beetle. I'm the original. Or, well, the second. Ted Kord. Hi. I think we were on the Justice League together? I was in the Justice League."

Zatanna shook her head. "No, don't recall."

"Maybe the Justice Society? Doom Patrol? Teen Titans?"

"No. Besides, I would definitely remember you."

"Oh. Sorry." Why was he apologizing? "So, what can I do for you? You didn't just fall me into this dark alley to take my milk money, did you? Not that a girl has ever done that—"

She shook her head again. "No. I don't want your lunch money. I want to fuck."

"It was milk money, actually—wha?"

Zatanna stood there, in her suit poised between formalwear and lingerie, with dark blue panties atop long, stockinged legs, under a tight white shirt and tighter white corset. She'd already taken off her glittering blue jacket. With a brief gesture, a fire escape ladder came down next to her. She slung her jacket over it. "Fuck me. Right here. Before the cops or press get here."

"Oh, is this a sex magic thing?" was all Ted could think to say.

"No, it's wet cunt wants hard cock thing.Seitnap ffo!"

Her briefs appeared in her outstretched hand. She hung them on the lowest rung of the fire escape. Ted could see now that her stockings were crotchless, with the fishnets continuing up her plump ass. She unbuttoned her blouse next. Without it, her corset revealed the tops of her engorged breasts. She pulled it down enough for them to burst free, now hanging out with little regard for gravity. Maybe she'd saidelbisivni arbearlier.

"Are you going to get your dick out by yourself or do I have to send your pants to the netherworld?"

Ted hurried to unzip his fly. His life had stopped making sense a long time ago; why demand it start again now? "Don't get me wrong, but is it like this all the time in the big League? I thought saving the world for real would be more hectic?"

"That's why we have so many reserve members. Someone can pick up the slack when you need a quickie. When you need itright now!"

She kissed Ted suddenly, so forcefully that he had to put one arm around her by force of habit as he continued struggling with his fly. When she sucked his tongue into her sweet mouth, his hand ripped right down the zipper, pulling the whole thing off the crotch of his pants. His cock sprung out to slap Zatanna's thigh.

She continued to kiss him, her soft body feeling maddeningly good pressed against his. But with one white-gloved hand, she reached down to grope him. Ted groaned as her mere touch made him grow even harder in her grasp. Maybe it was magic, maybe it was just that she was in fishnet stockings. Then she gave him a quick stroke, swelling his cock, filling it with need for her. Ted was amazed he didn't jizz on the spot.

"Ysae riahc won!" Zatanna cried, letting go of his prick after one last squeeze. Behind her, a trash can turned into an easy chair. Zatanna dropped down into it without even looking, her legs spreading wide to either armrest. Ted stared into her open, inviting cunt; wet, pink depths begging to be entered, used as he pleased. It seemed too good to be true. It was probably a scheme, some dastardly plot by Circe or someone to get his guard down. But who the fuck cared?

Unable to wait even a second longer, he moved over Zatanna, leaned over her with one arm on the chair's headrest, and guided himself in with his other hand. Not fast enough for Zee's liking. She grabbed him with both hands and pulled him to her heated opening, where he resisted just as the tip of his cock touched her soft flesh.

"Are you, uh, sure you want to do this?" Ted asked. "You get that I'm not the other Blue Beetle, right? Either of them?"

"Fuck me now or I will put a hex on your harmonic convergence!"

That sounded bad. He decided to do as she'd said. It was very easy when she gave a little bunt of her hips, forcing his cock between her labia lips, the very tip of him now grasped by her. Letting him know how wet and ready she was. She gave another push with her hips and he pushed back, inside her, all the way in, sweet and long and deep and full.

"You're in!" Zatanna crooned. "Inside me!"

"Sorry!" Ted apologized reflexively. Anything that felt this good—this tightwethotjuicy—had to make someone feel guilty.

"Stop apologizing, you idiot! It's in! It's in!"

She kissed him again, and whatever Ted had been holding back to be on the look-out for her being Cheetah in disguise or something—he stopped holding back. He threw himself into her with deep, certain strokes, grinding himself against her when he was in to pleasure her wonderful cunt.

Zatanna did the same, thrusting herself up to meet and take his fucking. Her body moved with graceful rhythm, rising, dipping, even plunging when he struck her, her sex eagerly accepting what was being done to it. She gasped in his ear. He almost thought it was another incantation, but then he made it out; "Do it! Do it, Ted! Fuck me!"

"I am! I'm fucking you! Fucking you!" He laughed in disbelief, Zatanna yelling over him.

"Fuck me! Fuck me to death!"

With as often as people in their line of work came back, she might've even meant literally.

The bedsprings of the easy chair creaked under them. Zatanna stripped off her gloves to dig her nails into his back. He kissed her as he reached down to her long legs and ran his hands over those famous fishnets like he'd always wanted to do.

In the distance, he'd heard sirens. Objectively, he'd known this wouldn't be a long fuck. He could already feel his cum churning at the base of his cock, dying to shoot into her, now precum oozing off his tip. Belatedly, he thought of condoms, birth control, all that stuff. He should probably pull out right now, but he couldn't control himself. It was just too fucking good, and Zatanna felt the exact same way, her climax inches away. But she saw the hesitation in his eyes.

"Don't stop!" she demanded of him. "You stop and I'll—I'll turn you into a toad!"

He burst out laughing. "Horny toad!"

"It's not that funnneeeeee!" she replied, losing herself on the last word, driving herself to her own climax, ass bouncing and humping, hips pistoning against his with new power. Ted tried to match her, but he just couldn't. He was already lost to the sweet paralysis of his cum. Zatanna was right there with him. She didn't hold herself there. She hugged him tight to her body with one hand; the other one reached down and finished her off with a frantic vibration of her clit.

Her nails clawed into his shoulder. Hot blood spilled out. "You did it! You did it!" she whimpered, head flung back. "Come with me, come inside me, now! Now! Nowwww!"

Ted had never fucked a girl like this in all his life, never this hot, never this hard, never this satisfying. And he'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted fire his cum into her box. In the end, he had no choice. His cock jerked and swelled, his hips spasming, his mouth dropping open in a long moan.

"Zatanner—Zatina—zahurflmgh!" He couldn't pronounce her name to tell her he was coming, but it was obvious to Zatanna. Within a few seconds, her sex was filled by Ted pouring himself into her.

Throb followed throb until Zatanna thought he would never stop coming, his cock held deep inside her, his body tensed to the point of stoniness, all his senses awash in the myriad pleasures of his orgasm. Weeks of sexual inactivity burst from him, shooting high into Zatanna's center, pooling, overflowing, gushing onto Zatanna's thighs and bottom and the surging dick of Ted Kord.

Ted had never had a climax feel so good or last so long, but finally, it was over. He collapsed listlessly beside her, the chair just big enough for the both of them. Zatanna kissed him again, then stood. She grabbed her panties off the fire escape and slid them back on.

"Thanks for a magical evening," she said with the cheesy grin of a pick-up artist, then turned to leave... giving him a magnificent view of her ass before she covered it with the tails of her jacket.

Ted watched her go only as much as he sat there in disbelief. Only the chair turning back into a trash can underneath him spurred him into moving. He put away his flaccid cock and tucked his shirt in to cover the hole at his crotch. Then he continued to wonder what the hell had just happened.