Gaming: D&D Pt. 06

I went into mourning, I guess. There was some second-guessing involved, too. In the end, I couldn't see that I had done anything wrong - or that things would have turned out differently if I had acted otherwise.

There was no question that I would miss Jen. But I was honest enough with myself to wonder which I would miss more: Jen, or the incredible sex.

I was pretty shitty company for a while. Not wanting to face any 'How's Jen?' questions from Parvani and Nate, I just told them, straight out, that she had dumped me to go back to her old boyfriend.

- "Oh, no!" said Parvani. "Ian - I'm so sorry."

- "You really liked her, didn't you?' asked Nate.

- "Yeah - whatever." I said. "Are we going to play, or what?"

It was not one of my finer efforts. There were no protests when I called it quits early.

"I'm sorry, guys." I said. "You're trying to be sympathetic, and I'm ... being an asshole. I just ... I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay."

- "Whatever you want." said Nate.

Over the next few months, I grit my teeth, and concentrated on writing essays. The only awkward moments were in American History. Jen went back to sitting up front, and I started leaving the moment that class ended, so that she wouldn't have to see me - and I wouldn't have to watch her walk by.

Some of the papers I turned in were probably not my best, but I nailed my exams, and finished second year fairly strong.

I needed a summer job; I wasn't going to go back to the moving company - Derek was there first, and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Dad pulled a string or two, and helped me get a job with the city, in the Parks Department.

It was half clerical work, and half step & fetchit, but the pay was pretty good. It was also where I met Vincent Cooper.

- "Call me Coop." he insisted. "Chicken or pigeon - doesn't matter."

Coop was a funny guy, and all-round interesting. He was a conversational jack-of-all-trades. He couldn't do everything, but he could certainly talk about almost anything.

He talked fishing with the janitor, wine with our supervisor, and the Head secretary came to him for advice on how to nurture a bonsai. Coop and I discussed school, politics, sports, music ...

One day, he surprised me. Coop was reading a newspaper when I got to work.

- "Holy shit." he muttered. "They're going to make a D&D cartoon."

I was stunned. "You know what D&D is?" I said.

- "Y-yeah." he admitted. "Do you?"

- "You don't look like a guy who plays D&D." I said.

- "Neither do you." he said. "Wait - what does a guy who plays D&D look like?"

After work, we went for a beer. We had done this before - but this was the first time we talked about D&D. It turned out that Coop had played for a few years in high school. But his group had broken up.

- "Two went away to school, one got too cool, and one got a girlfriend. I suppose I could have hooked up with some other players, but ... you know. It was more about hanging with my friends, I guess. It would feel weird to play with a bunch of nerds, if D&D was the only thing we had in common."

- "I hear you." I said, thinking of Burnsie's stoner crew, or guys like Misha. "I'm only playing with a couple of my closest friends."

- "You still play?" said Coop. It wasn't my imagination - he sounded a bit wistful.

- "Do you miss it?" I asked. "Because you'd be welcome to join us, if you feel like it."

***

- "How do we fit him in?" asked Nate. "Our characters are 7th level."

- "He doesn't know the story, either." said Parvani.

- "Guys: it's not a problem." I said. "We start some new characters with Coop. If it doesn't work out with him ... then it doesn't. We can continue the main campaign on our own, whenever we want."

They didn't look entirely convinced.

"Look," I said, "I didn't object when Par brought in Annette. Or when Nate invited Misha."

- "Really?" protested Nate. "How long are you going to keep bringing up Misha?"

I looked at my watch. "Another ... eleven or twelve years."

- "Come on - it was ages ago!" he said.

- "You don't understand, Nate: I was scarred for life by the experience."

Nate gave in. "Fine! Bring your friend."

They needn't have worried. Both of them enjoyed meeting Coop. We decided to add a random element to the character creation process: we would roll stats, and let the results determine what class we would play.

My luck held true. My highest statistic was wisdom. I was the cleric.

- "Oh, no." said Parvani.

- "Is it a problem?" asked Coop.

- "Ian is always stuck as the cleric." said Nate. "We can switch, if you like."

- "It's not a problem." I said. "Besides, Parvani played the cleric last time."

They argued a bit more, but I insisted. That left Nate as a fighter, Coop as a wizard, and Parvani with a choice. Since dexterity was her highest score, she could be either a rogue, or an agile fighter - like an archer. She'd always liked Legolas, from Lord of the Rings, so I wasn't surprised when she chose the latter.

Coop was a hit, right away. He added magic words and gestures every time he cast a spell. His favourite was magic missile. He would point his finger, and cock his thumb, as if his hand was a pistol.

- "Pew!" he said. Then he laughed. "I can't wait till I'm 3rd level, cause I'll have two missiles. "Pew! Pew!"

After the game, when Coop was gone, Parvani stayed with Nate and me to de-brief.

- "I like him." said Nate. "Better than Misha, anyway."

- "He's funny." said Par. "And he seems very nice."

The following Monday, I saw Coop at work.

- "What did you think?" I asked him. "Honestly."

- "Your friends are pretty cool." he said. "But I was really surprised by the way you guys play."

- "Oh?"

- "It's more about the story, and the characters. My old crew just wanted exotic monsters and magic items. After a while, I think we ran out of new things to fight. I really liked the way you do it."

- "So you might play with us again?"

- "For sure." said Coop. "If your friends are okay with it."

That was how we became a foursome.

***

After my experiences with Tanya and Jen, I couldn't stop thinking of that ancient warning: be careful what you wish for - you might get it. I had desperately wanted to lose my virginity - I got my wish, but it didn't work out quite the way I had expected.

So I designed a story line for our first-level party. They stumbled across a magical item - a small wax tablet which they couldn't read. They had to take it to a mage, to have it identified.

They were astonished to learn that the little tablet would grant them 3 wishes.

- "What?" said Parvani. "Anything?"

- "Holy shit!" said Coop.

- "Wait a sec." said Nate. He was studying my face, trying to figure me out. "Is this some kind of trick?"

- "No trick." I said.

- "So if we wished for ... a million gold pieces, you won't have them come raining down from the ceiling to crush us under their weight?"

- "You can specify exactly how you would like them to appear." I said.

I went off to make tea, to give them time to think it over. They talked for an almost an hour, trying to plan for every eventuality - for every way that I might try to screw them over. My new cleric didn't participate in the discussion, but they were prepared to share the rewards with him anyway. Finally, Nate told me their decision.

- "We wish for ten million gold pieces, deposited in a bank account, in our names, so that each one of us can access one quarter of the total cash whenever we want."

- "Okay." I said. "Done." With that much money, they could buy almost every item in the DM's Guide.

- "Really?" said Nate. I guess he had been expecting me to make it difficult. "Can we use the money now?"

- "Sure. Your wish came true. Just be careful with that tablet - if you lose it, you won't get the other two wishes."

That led to another lengthy debate. All three were deeply suspicious. Even Parvani was casting dark looks my way. It took them another half hour before Coop came up with an idea. It was a good one, which I hadn't anticipated.

- "We wish for a guardian angel for each one of us, powerful enough - and willing and able - to protect us from enemies much stronger than we are." he said.

- "Done." I agreed.

They were still a bit hesitant, worried that I was setting them up. But they couldn't resist the temptation to enjoy their first wish.

- "Let's go shopping!" said Coop.

I did limit their purchases, of course. There was no way that even the capital of the kingdom would have everything they wanted - much less the multiples they were asking for. Still, the group came away with a ridiculous amount of loot. They were suddenly the best-equipped 1st level party in the history of the game.

The GM (me) graciously let them enjoy their goodies for a day and a night. Then I set my plans in motion. They had been right all along, of course - the three wishes were a trap.

The mage blabbed. Word spread. Virtually everyone in the city learned of their incredible good fortune. Beggars followed them everywhere they went. Thieves hovered around at all times, and tried to sneak into their room at night. The bankers hired assassins to eliminate us, so that they could keep the money.

The King simply seized the bank, and confiscated the rest of their money, becoming the richest arbitrary ruler in the land. He declared himself Emperor.

Their guardian angels kept the most terrifying enemies at bay, but clearly decided that 1st and 2nd level opponents weren't 'much stronger' than we were. Our heroes were besieged, night and day, by hordes of lower level challengers. They also found it difficult to make friends, since everyone expected to be lavishly rewarded, or generously tipped.

My players caught on pretty fast. Their reactions varied.

- "I knew it all along!" said Parvani.

- "You dirty bugger." said Nate.

- "Think you're pretty clever, don't you?" said Coop.

But they were quite intelligent themselves. They had saved their third wish. Before I could steal or destroy the wax tablet, they decided to use it.

First, of course, they needed another hour-long discussion. But I had to give them credit for what they came up with.

- "We want to be teleported, to a distant land - civilized land - where no one has ever heard of us. Or of the kingdom we started in." said Nate.

- "That sounds reasonable." I said.

They hid one or two of their remaining overpowered items, and then sold a couple more. They didn't keep anything that would attract too much attention, and used the money they garnered to buy some more modest equipment - but still damned good for a bunch of first level characters.

Parvani had a magic bow, and Nate ended up with an enchanted sword and first-class armour. Coop got the best first-level spells money could buy, and an item which raised his intelligence even higher. My cleric got a kick-ass set of armour, too.

- "I have to admit, I'm impressed." I said. "You guys came out way ahead. Much better than I expected. And you still have your guardian angels."

- "You're still a dick." said Nate.

- "Beware of geeks bearing gifts." said Coop.

***

Dad lent me his car, so that I could take the other three to the Pantheon. I picked up Parvani first. Her Dad no longer minded if she stayed out late, if she was with me and Nate.

- "Can I ask you something?" she said, before I had even pulled out of the laneway.

- "Shoot."

- "Did you know that Coop was going to ask me out?"

I hit the brakes. "What?"

- "Coop asked me to go out with him. Alone. Just him." she said.

- "He did? When did this happen?"

- "After our last game, he asked me for my number. I didn't know ... umm, what to say. So I gave it to him. He called the other night, to ask me out."

- "What did you say?"

- "I wasn't sure what to say. I said I'd tell him tonight. That's ... umm ... what I wanted to ask you. What do you think I should do?"

I was a bit stunned. I looked at Parvani, as if I was seeing her for the first time. And I wondered about Coop. What did he see in Par that I didn't?

Okay, she had been losing weight - even her face looked a bit thinner. But she still had the braces, and those horrible glasses. Then I remembered our prom. Before the projectile vomiting, Parvani had been looking pretty good.

I realized, at that moment, that I didn't want Par to go out with Coop - or with anybody else, for that matter. The fact that I had no right to feel that way was irrelevant. But I couldn't torpedo my friend - or friends. Not if I ever wanted to look in the mirror again.

- "I don't know, Par." I said. "Do you want to go out with him?"

- "I'm not sure." she said. "I mean, I like him. I just don't know if I like him that way. How do you tell someone 'no' without hurting their feelings?"

- "I have no idea, Par. I'm usually the one getting told. I don't have a lot of experience turning girls away."

- "Simran says that I can go out once, as a friend - and then say 'no' to a second date, if I don't want to go again. Does that sound right?"

- "I guess. You can do whatever you want, Par." I said.

- "I just don't want to ruin any friendships." she said.

- "You won't." I said. Did I feel jealous? Me?

Damn right I did.

***

Parvani went out with him once. When Coop asked for a second date, she politely declined. She told me the whole story, afterwards. And so did he. It was pretty weird to have two friends confiding in me, unaware that the other was doing the same.

When September rolled around, I no longer saw Coop at work. He was at the same university as Par and me, in pre-law, so it wasn't difficult to get together between classes. Basically, Coop and I were becoming good friends.

That's how I found out that he wasn't particularly devastated when Parvani turned him down. He was one of those genuinely easy-going people who don't get bent of shape when life doesn't go their way.

- "I figured I'd give it a shot, you know." he said. "What the heck: she's cute, right? But I really don't mind just being friends. She's good people, you know? So is Nate. Not that I'm going to ask him out, though."

- "You never asked me out." I said.

- "Sure I did. Lots of times." he said. "Just never felt any, you know, chemistry. That's why I let you down easy."

The only drawback with Coop, in my opinion, was his tendency to metagame. In D&D terms, that meant using knowledge or information in the game that your character couldn't possibly have. Imagine King Arthur suddenly confronted with a Toyota. He would have no idea what it was, even if the person who was playing him did.

Coop knew every type of monster in the D&D bestiary, their special abilities and their weaknesses. To combat this insider knowledge, I had to start creating my own monsters, usually hybrids, like trolls with wings, or creatures from other fiction sources, like Edgar Rice Burroughs or Michael Moorcock.

It didn't change our game all that much, anyway. I had always felt that human or humanoid enemies were the best, because of their motivation. Why is this King trying to kill us? What do those witches want?

But outside of the game, Coop had unknowingly created a problem for me.

I couldn't look at Parvani quite the same way anymore. Now I saw her as 'cute'. If Coop thought she was 'dateable', why hadn't I seen it before? Well, I had: at our prom, and at her parents' party. There were times when Par looked pretty darn good.

So why had I never considered her as a partner? In a romantic way, that is. I didn't have an answer.

Things got immeasurably worse in October. That's when Parvani had her braces removed.

It was my Dad's fault, really. He and Jill decided to host a joint Thanksgiving dinner party. It was a bit like the Brady Bunch. Jill had several children from her first marriage, and with their boyfriends and girlfriends, that would leave Dad, Cherie and me heavily outnumbered.

- "Why don't you invite your friends, Ian? Parvani and Nate - they're practically family as it is." he said. My sister protested that this was unfair, until she was allowed to invite a female friend as well.

It was a pretty big gathering, with extra tables and mountains of food. I had a lot of work to do, which might be why I was completely unprepared for the sight of Parvani when she arrived.

It would be a stretch to say that I didn't recognize her. But it was close.

Her long black hair was flowing loose, down past her shoulders. She had a bit of eye makeup, and pale lipstick. She was smiling, showing off her lovely teeth - sans braces.

But that was only the beginning. Par was wearing a simple dress, short, and form-fitting. Bare arms, bare legs ... I had never seen so much of her light brown skin. A little cleavage ... She even had on a pair of low heels - this from a girl who always wore sensible shoes.

The dress fitted her to perfection, revealing that Par had lost more than a little weight over the past year. She was a fox! And to top it all off ... no glasses!

The impact was stunning.

- "Lookin' good, Parvani!" said my Dad.

- "Wow, Parvani!" said Jill. "Look at you!"

By contrast, Nate and I said nothing. We just stood there with our mouths open. My sister Cherie saved the day.

- "You got your braces off!" she squealed, as she ran over and gave Par a big hug.

That Thanksgiving meal was a bit of a blur for me. I kept trying to sneak a look at my old friend - now my new friend. Who was this little hottie? Was this the girl who had lent me her copy of The Hobbit?

God Bless Nate - he got caught staring even more than I did.

After the meal, Parvani offered to help me clean up.

- "No, that's okay." I said. "I wouldn't want you to get anything on your -" I was going to say 'dress', but I was staring at her boobs at that moment. I lost my train of thought, and never finished the sentence.

- "Don't be silly." she said, as she started carrying dishes into the kitchen.

Same old Parvani. Except in a new wrapping.

- "You haven't said anything, Ian. About my ..."

- "Your teeth? They look fantastic. You look fantastic. Your smile is great. But it's not just that. I mean, the dress ... it fits perfectly. And your eyes ... I hated those big black glasses - always hated them ..." I babbled more nonsense like that until Parvani reached out to touch my arm.

- "Thank you." she said. "So you like the dress? Simran helped me pick it out."

- "Yeah. I mean, the dress is fantastic. But that's not it - Par, you just look great. You look even better than you did at the Prom."

- "How did she look at the Prom?" asked Nate, coming up behind me.

Parvani blushed. Nate knew very little about that night, because I had never told him much. As I had promised Par, it would be a secret known only to her and me - and her sister.

That night, long after everyone had left, and we had finished cleaning up, I lay in bed, wide awake, unable to sleep. I was feeling embarrassed, and ... guilty.

Parvani had been one of my two nearest and dearest friends for years - but it felt like I was only seeing her clearly for the first time. Par had always been beautiful on the inside, but how could I have failed to notice how attractive she was on the outside?

Yes, I was sexually attracted to my friend. Only now, after years of considering her unworthy of my romantic attentions. Yes, I had almost kissed her at the Prom, but I had dismissed that as a moment of weakness. What an idiot!