Ganymede Station Pt. 01

"It sure was nice having you here." Henry said after we were done eating. He reached to open a new bottle, when I stopped him by shouting.

"You've barely had a drink all day, don't get wasted now!" I snarled.

"It's just a drink." He said, taken aback by my sudden outburst.

"It's never just a drink with you." I corrected him caustically.

He sighed and left the bottle alone. "Come on Cheyne, if this is the last time you'll be staying here, let's try to get along."

"Why? Roommates fight sometimes, you said it yourself. It's not like I'm spoiling anything, just making sure our agreement is over." I didn't even know what I was saying, I was so angry at him, and it had come on so suddenly.

"What are you doing?" He asked in exasperation. "You should be happy, you can go back home finally."

"Why the fuck would that make me happy?" I yelled, rising from the couch to my feet.

His face showed that he was perplexed. "Why wouldn't that make you happy? This place is tiny, you need more space than this."

"Well, thanks for letting me know what I need." I scoffed. I strode into the kitchen and began gathering up my dishes and utensils, clattering them loudly together as I did.

"Why the fuck are you so mad?" Henry asked as he climbed out of his chair.

"No reason whatsoever." I answered bitterly.

"You're acting crazy, kid." Henry stated as he folded his arms over his chest.

"I know why you wanted me here in the first place." I said, lowering my voice. "I've had a long time to think about it, but I finally figured it out."

Henry raised his eyebrows and gave me an expression of false awe. "I'm dying to know, please enlighten me." He replied.

I leveled my gaze at him. "Because I look like her. I look like Eilie. Having me here was like having her back, at least partially." I concluded.

He looked genuinely stunned. He went silent and let his arms fall to his sides. I took his lack of response as confirmation and sidestepped past him to dump the kitchenware into my box in the bedroom. The last item I needed to pack was my sketchbook which I now grabbed and tossed on top. I grabbed the container in my arms and moved back into the living room.

Henry moved to stand between the front door and me. He placed one of his large hands on the side of the box I was carrying, halting me where I stood. His demeanor looked pained.

"You're right." He said quietly.

I felt tears start to fill my eyes, I hadn't wanted to be right about this.

"You did remind me of her, a little, at first. You had the same kind of, easy grace about you, the way you move and act, but you're nothing alike, not past a certain point. Your sense of humor is different, but I like it! How you get when you're drawing something, the way you get into it when we're messing around, I don't imagine you to be anyone but who you are, Cheyne! I mean that."

I waited for him to say his piece and then said coldly, "Too bad it wasn't enough."

"Enough for what?" He asked dumbly.

"To make you love me?" It came out as a question, and my voice trembled in anticipation of his answer. Hot tears had begun to make their way down my face and I couldn't stop them because of the box I held in my arms.

The large man's eyebrows knit together and he appeared to be at a loss for words.

"Because that's how I feel." I gulped. "You made me fall in love with you." My heart felt like it might hammer its way through my chest. I had confessed my feelings, for the first time out loud.

"Cheyne, what should I say?" He struggled to respond.

"Don't say anything, I don't know why I let myself get like this. I tried to be careful, I'm such a fucking idiot." More tears streamed down my face, I was powerless to stop them.

"No you're not, don't say that." Henry tried to sound reassuring, but his tone made little difference to me.

I shoved my way past him toward the door, he didn't try to stop me again. I turned back into the room to face him. "She's gone you know, but I'm still here. You're in love with a ghost of someone I can never be. I'm sorry Deacon, that I couldn't be what you wanted."

I managed to balance the box in one arm while I reached behind me and opened the door. The marshall stood in the center of his living room, staring at me with a mixture of sadness and bewilderment. If there had been anything he wanted to say to me, to make me stay, to make me realize he felt the same way, he kept it to himself.

I moved through the doorway and leaned into it to close it again from the hall. And then it was done. My time with the marshall had come to a screeching, bitter end. The last few months with him had been the best of my life but that was over now. I stood in the empty corridor for a time, perhaps I thought he might come out to find me and bring me back inside, but he didn't. Instead I adjusted my grip on the box, sniffed in a vain attempt to stop the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks and left my brief home with the man I loved for the cold familiarity of a past life.

CHAPTER 9.

It had been two days since I moved back into my apartment and despite the fact the place had been fully repaired and looked better than I had ever seen, I was a wreck. My heart told me that Henry Deacon had broken up with me, even though, as he had made it clear, we were never really together. Well screw that, yes we had been, we had a relationship that was deeper and more complex than mere friendship. I had grown to love the man, it was impossible not to, in spite of his flaws he was a kind, caring man. I cried often and for long stretches of time during those first few days. I had been forced to call in sick to work on the Monday and Tuesday as I knew I wouldn't be able to perform my duties and the thought of running into Henry at work would have absolutely ruined me.

I didn't even bother unpacking my belongings into the apartment as it was almost easier to just find what I needed from the container. A small piece of me even stupidly thought that the marshall might just show up at my door begging me to move back in with him.

There had been some money owed for repairs to the apartment, but not nearly as much as I had feared. Apparently when estimates were being done it had been discovered that much of this place wasn't up to code and would need to be repaired at the building owner's expense. I paid mostly for the new door and a replacement couch. Luckily in the time I was employed at the police station I had made decent money. Ford hadn't replaced the large wall-mounted screen in the common room, that would be on me, but for now I didn't care about its absence.

During my time with Henry I had gotten several messages from men who used to be regular tricks for me. I hadn't responded to any of them, there had been no interest on my part. I was with Henry, or so I had assumed, and didn't want to jeopardize that. When I received word from Carson though, I hesitated. He was my one regular that I cared about the most. He had only ever treated me well and enjoyed the time spent with me, even after we had both cum. Before Henry, I would entertain notions of being with Carson, flying off together in his freighter to the far corners of the galaxy.

His message was simple, direct, and read: "Cheyne! What's up, it's Carson. I'm on Ganymede and can't wait to see you! Hit me back."

I wasn't going to fuck him, that part of my life was over with, but I couldn't deny wanting to see him, to talk with someone about my life over the past three months. I wrote back to him. "Got a new job, not fucking for money anymore, but I would like to see you for old times' sake. Still interested?"

His response came back quickly. "Good for you! Yeah, I definitely still want to see you! I'll be on my ship tonight, but leaving tomorrow afternoon."

I stared at my screen, thinking about what he had written. "Where you heading tomorrow?" I asked.

"Week long haul to Prometheus Station, machinery parts or something. Hey! You should come with me! Haven't you always talked about how much you want to leave?" He responded.

I considered my own response, and if it was really what I wanted, but in the end I wrote back: "That sounds really great actually. You wouldn't mind?"

There were several minutes where I waited anxiously for his reply.

Finally my device beeped. "Sure, if that's what you want. Let's talk in person!"

"I'll be over in thirty minutes." I wrote.

It didn't take very long to say goodbye to my apartment. I had grown to hate this place, especially recently and couldn't put distance between it and myself quickly enough. After years of dreaming about it, I was finally going to leave Ganymede. I knew Prometheus was larger and more newly constructed, I had heard several miners and space truckers talk about it before. There were grand parks there with dense wooded areas, I even remembered stories about an indoor lake with fish where folks could swim. I had always wanted to try swimming. If I managed my credits well I should be able to afford the trip and still have enough for a month's rent once I arrived. I would hit the pavement as soon as I landed and find another respectable job. It would be a fresh start, and I knew from experience that those could be exceedingly rare. At least it was a plan. Getting off of Ganymede and leaving behind any painful memories was my first priority.

So it was on that very Tuesday night that I prepared to make my escape. As luck would have it I didn't need to unpack the moving box after all and carried it with me as I left the Andromeda Arms, not even bothering to look back. I was nervous, this had been something of an impromptu decision on my part but I hoped it was the right one. My heart still ached as I thought about Henry, but the hope was that putting a few million miles between us would lessen the pain. It occurred to me to knock on his door and tell him goodbye. He had earned at least that amount of respect from me, but I didn't have the courage to see him, the wound was still too fresh. I wouldn't forgive myself if I broke down crying in front of him again. So I made my way to the spaceport, scanning through the display screens until I found the bay where Carson's ship was docked.

Minutes later I was speaking into the intercom just outside the airlock of Carson's ship, Comet Chaser.

"Hey Cheyne! Unlocking the door now, come on up!" Came the man's voice.

The large white doors slid apart in front of me leading to another pair of inner doors. Once I was inside the compartment and the first set of doors had sealed and locked behind me, the next set opened with a hiss of pressure into the freighter itself. Carson met me just inside, he gave me a wide grin when he saw me.

"Hey buddy! Welcome aboard, it's been awhile!" He said in a friendly way.

"Yeah, it has. It's good to see you. Can I uh, put this somewhere?" I lifted the box higher in front of my chest to indicate my meaning.

"Oh, yeah, follow me." Carson responded, leading the way toward the tail of the ship. There was a small room with a bunk and some additional storage. It wasn't Carson's personal quarters, I would know, we had spent many evenings there in the past.

"I thought you might want your own space while we travel to Prometheus. There's a bed anyway, I know it's not much." He explained.

"It looks great, and it should just be for a week, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, almost eight days but close enough." He said.

I pushed my belongings against the wall near the door.

"That can't stay there." Carson said. "It'll move around and dump everything out when we're in zero gee. Put it up in one of the cabinets over there." He explained, pointing to a large closet on the other side of the room.

I lifted the container up again and shoved it into the back of one of the cabinet shelves before closing it up again.

"We haven't talked about the price yet. Is there like, a normal price for passengers? I know how much the transports cost for a one-way ticket." I told him.

Carson looked thoughtful for a minute. "I mean I guess I should charge you something, but, we could come to another arrangement if you'd prefer?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked warily.

His face took on a wicked smirk. "Well, maybe we could fool around some on the way, for old times' sake, like you said."

I sighed. "I told you I don't do that anymore." I gave him a serious expression.

"Oh I know, but I was just thinking about how good we were together. And you're not charging me, it would be your choice." He said.

"Except you are charging me for travel to Prometheus. The only thing that's changed is how I pay for it." I felt frustrated, but then, what had I expected. If I used a transport shuttle it would have taken most of my money, at least this way I could hold onto my credits.

Carson looked hurt. "Come on, man. You know I like you, and I thought you liked me at least a little bit. I've been looking forward to seeing you for months."

I grimaced. "I do like you. I guess it would be okay if we fooled around some on the trip." I conceded.

It wasn't that I didn't think Carson was attractive, that stocky body, blonde beard and thick miner's muscles definitely did a lot to get me there. On top of the physical he was a pretty decent guy, as far as I knew. What made it difficult to agree to his terms was something else. My heart wasn't into the idea, I still thought about Henry all the time. It felt like I was betraying him by sleeping with another man, but I decided that was unreasonable. Whatever messed-up relationship I had shared with the marshall was over and done. Perhaps being with Carson could be the first official step to putting Deacon behind me.

"You hungry or anything?" He asked.

"I ate, I'm good for now, thanks though." I gave him a weak smile. "So we'll be on our way tomorrow?"

Carson nodded. "Yup, first thing in the afternoon, once my cargo gets loaded."

"Cool, understood." I said.

"Well, I haven't eaten anything, I'll be in the galley for a little bit, maybe put a movie on or something if you're interested?" He suggested.

"I'll come by in a little." I told him.

The freighter pilot backed out of the small room and I heard him pad down one of the ship's corridors toward the small kitchen and common area. I sat on the side of the small twin-sized bed and had a moment to contemplate what I was doing here. I could message Ford about finding a new renter for my place. I would need to let Chief Holden know I was quitting my job and moving off-station. Perhaps she could give me some kind of recommendation for a new position on Prometheus. Once again my thoughts drifted back to Henry, surely I should let him know I was leaving, but then... It would be easier, for me at least, to just attempt to forget about him.

After I collected my thoughts I decided to go spend some time with the Comet Chaser's pilot. Carson was in the small galley, leaning back on a padded bench that was built into the wall. There were kitchen appliances, small fridge and stove, sink and cabinets. Everything was screwed down to the counter that wasn't handheld with locking tops and water-tight seals for use in space. Opposite the bench was another chair and screen which Carson was watching.

"Hey, there you are! Was wondering when I might see you again!" He called happily as I stepped into the room.

"Yeah, was just making sure I'm not forgetting anything. This is my first time leaving Ganymede. I'm actually quite nervous about it." I admitted, rubbing my arm as I told him.

"Hey, nothing to worry about, I'm a pretty good pilot, although computers take care of almost the whole trip." Carson shrugged. "Good to get off this station, Cheyne. I'll be honest, if it wasn't for you I'd hate coming here." He added.

I moved to sit in the chair opposite the big fellow but he stopped me.

"Hey now, come sit with me, there's room if we get cozy. I don't want to be lonely." He said, his expression mock pouting.

"Oh, sure." I said as I strolled over to where he sat and wedged myself in beside him.

He reached one of his strong arms behind my head and placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling me snugly against him.

"There, isn't that nice?" He said softly.

I nodded slightly.

"I turned the heat up in here, there's no need for that jacket." He said as he moved to undo the front.

My stomach was unexpectedly knotted. This was what I did, certainly the only thing I ever did when I hung out with the man. I had already agreed to terms, this was how I intended to pay my way to Prometheus, so why was I bothered?

Carson had me lift my arms as he pulled my warming jacket over my head. As he set about unbuttoning my shirt he leaned in to kiss and nibble at my long neck. He quickly stripped off his own short-sleeved shirt. The familiar sensations began to arouse me, though I was immediately aware that I was thinking about someone else as he touched me.

"Hey, I'm not a customer anymore, can I kiss your mouth?" He asked softly as he licked the edge of my ear.

"I, I guess so." I heard myself say.

He pushed his bearded mouth over mine and began to shove his tongue between my lips. I really didn't like it, not that he was a terrible kisser, I just didn't want his mouth on mine. He shifted himself so that he was in front of me, looming over me on the bench. I allowed the kissing for a few more moments and then pulled away to shift the focus to his body.

"Been wanting to kiss those big, full lips for awhile now." Carson commented in a hoarse voice.

I sucked one of his soft pink nipples as I rubbed my clawed fingers gently through his yellow chest hair. He reached down to roughly pull his belt open and drop his drawers. There was already a moist spot at the front of his boxer shorts.

"You're eager." I commented.

"Of course I am, you make me so hot." He moaned. "Come on, I want you out of those clothes."

I had barely unfastened my belt when, in one swift motion he tore my jeans down my legs and tossed them to the floor. Carson tugged his underwear down to his large thighs causing his erection to slap up against his stomach. He spat into one hand and started stroking himself before leaning back over me.

The big pilot pushed forward to take his turn sucking my dark violet nipples, one by one into his slurping mouth. I gasped in response, holding him by the back of the head and feeling down his broad back. As he made my chest feel good he suddenly hooked his hands under my legs and hauled them up over his shoulders. At the realization of what he wanted I had to push him gently away.

His expression was one of confusion. "I wasn't gonna just ram it in, I have lube." He said.

"It's not that, I don't want to get fucked." I said honestly.

"What? Really?" He responded. His voice did nothing to hide his obvious disappointment.

For months now the only man to get inside me was Henry Deacon, and that was how I wanted it to stay, at least for now I realized.

"Come on, I can still suck you off." I said, trying to soften the blow.

"Yeah I guess so." He said.

"I could fuck you if you wanted?" I added.

Carson gave a dry laugh. "No thanks, I'm not into that." His demeanor changed, became cold.

Again my mind found its way back to Henry. He hadn't been selfish when we made love, he always made sure we were both getting what we needed. He was open to new experiences, because he trusted me. In this moment, with Carson, I missed him more than ever.

"I can't do this." I said, forcing the man off me.

"Are you kidding? What the fuck, Cheyne?" He asked angrily.

"I told you, I just wanted to pay you for the ride, I don't do this anymore!" My voice ended in a shout, surprising both of us.

"Alright, damn, relax. You still gonna suck me or what?" He asked, shaking his cock at me.