Getting Freaky With An App

"Drew please baby. I cannot take it," she whined. I pulled her back into the fray. There was not one spot on her body that I didn't plunge my tongue into. My goal was to lick every inch of her body. Oh how sweet she tasted! I have never been a man desiring marathon sessions of sex. My motto used to be, "Hurry and get yours before I finish." Now I wanted nothing more than to spend exaggerated amounts of time in this woman's presence. My mind was made up. In our virtual world I got down on one naked knee and asked Seraphim to become my wife. The look of astonishment and happiness on her face gave me my answer. The gentle movement of her tits as she jumped up and down confirmed her answer.

"You have reached the end of your journey. Consensual life-simulation over," blazed across my eyes. Seraphim's smiling face began a slow fade into the background. I could see as Seraphim went from smiling to crying. I was pulling at the air, screaming her name, and dying all at the same time. I dared not snatch off the sunglasses sitting there for several hours staring into the logo of the company. When I finally snapped out of it I tried to reboot the game. It started from the beginning. I tried to recreate Seraphim but even when I selected all of her attributes it created a different woman all together. I didn't want that bitch! I wanted Seraphim.

I violated all the rules of the man code. I cried and not just shedding tears. I was a blubbering mess of a man. I am not ashamed to say I grieved as if she had been a real woman. To me she was a real woman and I loved her with all of my heart. We had dinner together, we made love, we fucked, we shared our secrets, we watched movies, we fell in love, and we made a connection. It was in the virtual world but nothing felt realer to me. I tried reaching my buddy but was hit with a series of roadblocks. He was unavailable and out of the country for an unspecified amount of time. I tried emailing, texting, and leaving voicemails to no avail. I was a shell of a man. Within one day of being without Seraphim dark circles formed under my eyes. I alternated between crying and crying in my sleep.

Three weeks later I finally emerged from my apartment due to starvation. I was eating very little at this time but now I was down to a few packets of crackers from a restaurant obtained eons ago. I pulled on my pants moving mechanically to complete my modest ensemble. The cold wind was harsh but refreshing when I stepped out of my apartment building. I could barely register life beyond the virtual world. It looked so foreign to me at that point. Having hold up for the last two months with my virtual soul mate had cost me dearly. Real life was so foreign to me and I struggled to integrate myself back into it. I walked to the corner store buying a box of decaffeinated tea and twenty can of various soups. It was all I wanted during my grieving process.

It was as if Seraphim had been murdered and in a lot of ways she had been. I without my consent of course followed the grieving process to the letter. The anger & bargaining phase had been especially hard on my apartment. I would not be getting my security deposit back. Slowly I started to come out of my depression but I was not willing to enter into anything resembling commitment. That was the case until my funds were completely depleted. I had to start writing again or I would end up in a cardboard box on the street. The first thing, I did was write the review of this app. I stopped half way through it was just too painful. I threw myself, literally, into finding as many freelance assignments as I could. I was relentless in keeping my mind busy.

"Thanks Mr. Stephens for this opportunity," I said shaking my new boss's hand.

"Welcome aboard Andrew. I believe in your writing. I am sure soon I will be the one thanking you," he guffawed.

I was now a web communications specialist for a popular online entertainment magazine. My new position did not require me to log hours away in a cubicle but rather travel the world reporting what I found. It was a dream job that kept me out of the apartment that I refused to give up even if the memories of Seraphim were so fresh. I traveled around the country reporting back on musical bands, singers, painters, sculptors, or any category that would fall within the realm of entertainment.

My column on the magazine's website, soon to be in print, was a hit. Everything I did was with fresh eyes, something I attributed to Seraphim. I was forever changed. Somehow everything about this world seemed new to me. I know that sounds like some sappy crap from a chick flick but it was true. The impact that virtual woman had on my life was immeasurable. Thanks to her I knew what real loss was. I had coasted through this life never taking anything too seriously, including my relationships. Although I wasn't sure if I would ever venture into another relationship, I knew I was a better man, sappier chick flick crap. I know! I know! That app changed my life. Would I recommend it to you the consumer? I think I would recommend this app if only to have someone validate my experience. Albert Einstein once wrote that, "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."

Do not let this app strip you of your humanity, rather let it empower you with self-awareness.

- Update to this review -

When I originally published my autobiographical review of this app it was well timed with the public release of this app. It was meant to serve as a warning and to entice the masses. As you now know this app has went on to do phenomenal things to the masses. I laughed when those divorcees tried to sue the creator, my buddy. I am sure by now you have all read the number of divorces and dissolved relationships this app has caused. The only thing I am grateful for is my review of this app forced its creators to decrease the technology intensity but clearly not enough.

I was in a small town in Vermont watching a rendition of Tennessee Williams'Streetcar Named Desirewhen I had a surprising turn of events. The manager of the small theater took me back stage to meet the cast and crew. The actress that played the part of Stella Kowalski especially impressed me. Although not my type, she was a brunette beauty. I found her intriguing. Imagine my shock when I was introduced to the woman sans the brunette wig. The mane of shockingly long blond hair flowed freely down her back. I was still in control of my faculties for a few more seconds any way.

"Hello nice to meet you Drew. I am a huge fan of your column," she said kindly.

"Thank you. I think you did a phenomenal job tonight," I managed to squeak out. "I am sorry I did not catch your name."

With a dazzling smile she said, "My name is Seraea." My entire expression changed on my face as the similarity with my precious Seraphim registered. When I thought this woman could shock me no further she trumped it all. "Why so blue Drew?"

For about thirty seconds I lost my mind. It was the phrase my Seraphim said to me whenever I prepared to unplug. I never put that in my original review. I swallowed hard and tried to recover but with no color in my face Seraea could tell it was something she said. Then a light bulb went off as she recalled my review of the app. The similarities were painfully obvious to me as they became very apparent to her. We discussed all of this over coffee later. I am still surprised by how similar Seraea is to Seraphim, even after two years. I try my hardest to give Seraea the benefit of being her individual self, but it's hard sometimes. Seraea is most understanding in this area, even flattered by it.

"It's okay sweetheart. It adds such a magical element to our meeting," she would say. How right she is? Arthur Clarke wrote very wisely that, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

THE END