Grab Life by the Balls

At that moment, both Chris and Tonya came to the front door announcing that the problem was fixed. Sure enough, a network connection had come unplugged but was in a location that would not have been easy to find.

"That's it? That's all there was to it?" Alton asked, incredulous.

"Yep. Pretty easy fix," Tonya said.

"Jesus," Alton said, shaking his head. "All that for a goddamned unplugged wire. You need to take care of this shit, Pat."

"Why is it my responsibility?"

"You just said he was a friend of yours. You sure as hell don't want me to have talk to him. There will be a lot less talking and a lot more ass whoopin' if I have to say something."

I just rolled my eyes at Alton and turned away.

"Hey, dammit! Don't you roll your goddamned eyes at me, Pat, or I'll -"

"You'll what?!!" I demanded. "You'll what?!!" Alton just froze. "Don't get all high and mighty with me, Alton. I have no idea what Dean's problem is but, yes, he is a friend of mine. And I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to help my friend. He's been a phenomenal IT guy for this county so far, at least until lately. So spare me your bullshit until we have an actual answer, okay?"

Alton took a deep breath. "Look, Pat, I was just -"

"You were just being a pompous ass, Alton. You're lucky you got appointed to your position and didn't have to face an election like most county officials. You'd never get elected to be the fucking dog catcher!"

Alton knew better than to say anything and just turned around to lock the conservation office and Chris, Tonya and I all headed to our cars.

"I can't thank you enough, Tonya."

"Oh, I can think of way, Patsy!" Chris just shook his head and unlocked his car.

"No, really, Tonya. You did us a huge favor."

"You're not out of the woods yet, Pat. There is still a lot more work to be done. Don't be surprised if your email is still goofed up. And I would seriously limit or eliminate the use of thumb drives as much as possible. Memory sticks are self-executing and spread viruses like the plague."

"Okay," I chuckled. "I'll do that."

We said our goodbyes and headed home for the night. True to my word, I was home in time to crawl into bed just as Jimmy Fallon took the stage for his opening monologue.

Even though it was a fairly warm spring night, I saw that Shannon was tucked under the covers, bedspread and all. That could only mean one thing. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled underneath the covers and was rewarded with the feel of my lover's smooth, naked body. She turned to me and our lips met in a steel melting kiss. She didn't waste any time stripping off my boxers and climbed on top, our lips and tongues enmeshed with one another the entire time.

Shannon was wet and primed and I slid in easily. I had been rock hard with anticipation ever since I left the conservation office. Eventually, she sat up, closed her eyes and rocked herself to a gentle first orgasm while I worked her clit with my thumb for extra stimulation. She then collapsed on me and we kissed for a while as I continued to slowly but firmly thrust in an out of her to keep her orgasm at a plateau.

I decided that I wanted to get a taste of her and I gently rolled her off of me. With each of us on our sides I lifted up her leg and took control of her pussy with my mouth as she swallowed me whole. It wasn't long before she started careening towards another body-quaking orgasm and she forcefully thrust my hips back and ejected my cock from her mouth.

I flipped around again and entered her missionary. Our fluid-covered lips met again in fury and lust and it wasn't long before I felt that familiar dull ache in my groin that signaled my balls were about to erupt. Shannon broke from our fervent kissing and began panting and moaning.

"Oh, yes, Patrick! Please cum for me! Fill me all the way up!" she panted.

"Oh, God, Shannon! You feel so damned good!" I groaned. My cock started spasming inside her and I unleashed a torrent of cum.

"God, I can feel you erupting inside me, Patrick! There's just so much!"

We lay there for several minutes, still locked in a carnal embrace. Both of us were completely spent.

We fell asleep shortly thereafter locked in each other's arms. But some time in the early morning hours I awoke and couldn't get back to sleep. I was troubled by what was going on with Dean Strobe and I was irritated that I hadn't yet found the source.

Dean was not the type of person to blow off his duties. He had always presented an appearance of polished professionalism. I had often wondered if his knowledge of and use of computers might rival Tonya's but that notion was definitely dispelled by his performance and actions as of late.

I finally fell asleep around three AM after deciding that I would definitely get to the bottom of things tomorrow.

Shannon was at work by seven the next morning and I helped Bridget get ready for school. She could have taken the bus but she always felt more important when I dropped her off at school in my fully marked Ford Expedition with the words 'Mason County Sheriff' emblazoned in reflective letters and striping down the side. Bridget loved it when I flipped on the emergency flashers and gave her a quick blurb or two from the siren as I pulled away from the curb.

As I arrived at the office I was greeted by my secretary, Karen Landingham.

"Pat? Mitch Monahan called just a moment ago. There is an emergency meeting scheduled downstairs in the supervisor's meeting room at 9 o'clock. All of the department heads and elected officials are requested to attend."

"Did Mitch say what it was about?"

Karen seemed apprehensive. "He said it pertained to Dean."

"Okay," I nodded, as I turned and headed into my office.

I checked my email first thing but, just as Tonya said, it appeared the email system was still fouled up. I had been hoping she would be able to fix it today but she said she had other business that would take up most of the day, plus she still needed to check in with her employees at the record and computer store she owned. The earliest she said she could help us wouldn't be until after four o'clock.

Part of me wondered if Chris Hayes hadn't told her to say that, just to keep her working at time-and-a-half instead of the standard rate. Oh, well. It was what it was and I couldn't really force her to do anything. Besides, as good as she was with computers, I'd take her help whenever we could get it.

At ten minutes to nine, I started making my way downstairs to the second level of the courthouse. The entire top fourth floor of the aging building belonged to the Sheriff's department, which is also where our crumbling jail was located. The Assessor, Auditor, Treasurer, Veterans Affairs Director, Recorder, Clerk of Court, Driver's License Station and County Attorney all had their offices scattered throughout the building. The two main court rooms, judge's chambers and the county supervisors' offices and meeting rooms were all located on the second floor of the building.

I did have one Deputy who worked in the basement of the building, too, and that was Deputy Lieutenant Amy Van Deekum who was in charge of the jail and also ran our property and evidence room. I was damned lucky to be able to find her the additional space and only because FEMA determined that the original fallout shelter no longer met federal standards. It was yet another of many headaches I would try to cure with the fall referendum for the new public safety center.

All of the elected officials and department heads were present and gathered at the tables, which had been arranged in a large square so everyone could see one another. At the far right and center was a spot that had been reserved for Dean Strobe. Damn! This was going to be like bringing a lamb to the slaughter. Everyone was pissed at Dean for what had been going on lately. I knew that Dean needed to be dealt with but I didn't think a public bitch session was the way to go about it.

Most everyone was casually visiting with each other when I had walked in and I could over hear the light chatting, which was almost entirely about Dean. I wouldn't consider Dean an extremely close friend but I would most definitely call him a friend. Considering how things were going for him lately, it was obvious I wasn't THAT kind of a friend that you call when you are going through a rough patch. But we were friends and Clarissa and I had traded dinners in our homes with Dean and his wife Mercedes back when Clarissa and I were still married.

Mitch asked everyone to take their seats and then announced that he would bring Dean in to speak with us. I was actually surprised, since Mitch had mentioned yesterday that he thought Dean was going to be out of the office for the remainder of the week. We all sat down and waited about a minute or two before Dean arrived with Mitch. The main entrance to the room was closed and signs posted that said, 'Closed Door Meeting in Session. No Admittance'.

Dean Strobe looked like hell. His clothing looked as if he slept in them last night, it was obvious that he hadn't showered today as his hair was completely unkempt and he hadn't shaved. He had every bit of the look of a defeated man about him and I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why.

Dean was smart, decent-looking, personable but not arrogant. He was friendly but not boorish. He was a good conversationalist and very knowledgeable but not a ham. He was social but didn't need to be the center of attention. His wife, Mercedes, was very pretty and bubbly. They had two kids, a boy and a girl, and they had always seemed to be an idyllic family. Mercedes was definitely the more outgoing of the two and could get downright silly at parties, especially after a few glasses of wine or champagne.

By most accounts, you probably wouldn't picture the two of them together. Mercedes was definitely more the cheerleader type and Dean had a bit of a nerdy edge to him. But upon further thought, you realized that there wasn't really any good reason why the two of them shouldn't be together, either. I could only wonder if things in Dean's personal life were the root cause of his dramatic drop in his job performance.

"Dean," Mitch Monahan began, "I'm glad you were able to join us here for this meeting."

"I'm glad I could help," he said softly.

"Dean, the reason we have all gathered here this morning is because all of us have concerns regarding our network and each department's ability to use it. In particular we all have some questions and concerns we would like to address with you. It is the general consensus that numerous technical problems have seriously hampered our work and the mission of each county department. I'm going to go around the room as almost everyone has issues they would like to address directly. We'll start with County Treasurer, Ann Dunseth. Madam Treasurer?" This meeting was definitely ominous if Mitch was being this formal.

"Mr. Strobe," Ann began, keeping it heavy and formal. "We have been catching a lot of flack from the public because of ongoing issues with the network. Citizens come to our office daily to get licenses, renew licenses, and register vehicles and such. We have auto dealers who are very irate with us as they are losing sales because of issues with trying to title and register a new car with us - all because of ongoing problems with our computers.

"We have had to turn people away numerous times and ask them to return on a day when our system is functioning and pray that it is actually working when they return. People coming from Royal Fork on the far western part of the county have to drive forty-five minutes to get here. They get absolutely incensed when we turn them away. This doesn't even account for the problems it causes me and my staff in our regular work duties. Can you explain any of this?"

Dean fidgeted in his chair and it was obvious that he was struggling with something to say. "Uh, I, uh...I mean, Madam Treasurer, I'm aware that there are problems with the network. And I assure you that, uh, I am aware of your situation and have made it a priority to address those problems. As of this morning, the overall network seems to be running well and we got a lot of problems ironed out yesterday, uh, even though I was, uh, out of the office."

Mitch Monahan turned in his seat and looked at me directly for a moment. I caught the same gaze from Chuck Pope before both men returned their attention to Dean.

"Uh, along with that, uh, Madam Treasurer, I, uh, realize that there are still issues with the email and, uh, I intend to have those problems taken care of by this afternoon."

"Good!" Ann Dunseth said, with no small amount of edge in her voice. "Because my staff and I will be working this weekend to try and get caught up. It isn't fair of them to have to do that and I really don't have a lot of wiggle room in my own budget for the over time I'm going to have to pay."

"I apologize again, Madam Treasurer."

Next up was the county auditor, followed by the assessor and the behind-closed-doors flogging continued. Dean Strobe sat there the entire time meekly answering questions and giving canned answers - I'll take care of it; it's on my to-do list for this afternoon; I'll make it the highest priority - Dean did his best to tell everyone what they wanted to hear. But his demeanor and appearance belied his stated intentions.

All I could think as I was sitting there was that it felt like we were making fun of a dying cancer patient or something. Instead of finding out if Dean had some genuine problem that we could help him with all anyone did was focus on their own problems and worry about when Dean was going to get around to finding a solution. But I didn't have to participate in this directly and I had no intentions to.

Most of the people in the room were, like me, elected officials. They had reputations and public images they needed to uphold in order to keep their positions. Snafus in their office, even those related to Dean, could pose problems for the next election and give an opponent plenty of fodder for how poorly that particular office was being run. Dean's glaring personal problems were a political liability and had to be quashed. The thought alone sickened me.

"Sheriff?" Mitch Monahan finally asked when everyone else was finished. "You haven't said anything yet. Do you have any questions or concerns for Dean you'd like to address?"

I glared at Mitch for a moment or two, causing him to narrow his eyes in defense. "No," I finally said. "I have some questions for Dean but I'd prefer to speak with him directly."

"Uh...very well, then," Mitch said, sheepishly. "Well, if there are no more questions or comments I'd like to thank everyone for their time. And Dean, I hope that we can get these problems cleared up quickly so additional measures can be avoided." The last statement had most everyone in the room but me nodding their head in agreement. They were all seething at Dean, including Mitch.

I was bugged and irritated by the tech problems we were having. Sure, they were a major inconvenience. But I prided myself on the fact that I always regarded the people working for me as my greatest asset. Dean wasn't a direct employee of mine but he still did a lot of work for our office and I felt somewhat responsible for him. But he did not, in any way, deserve the humiliation that he was just subjected to. He quickly left the room looking more deflated than ever.

Meredith Alcorn, Mason County Recorder, was the last one to leave the room before Mitch and me, which left just the two of us.

"Well," Mitch breathed as he stuffed his laptop back in its case. "I thought that went pretty well. Hopefully things will improve, huh?"

"What, are you fucking kidding me?"

Mitch stopped. "What? I thought you wanted this problem solved, too."

"I do, Mitch. But not like this."

"I don't follow."

"All we did was humiliate the living shit out of a good man today, Mitch. Dean has been a loyal and dedicated employee for this county ever since he got here."

"Dedication is fine, Pat, but poor performance affects us all. You should know that as well as anybody."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe there is a reason for all of this? Dean is absolutely incapable of being incompetent unless something is really, really bothering him. Did it ever cross your mind to maybe ask him if there is a problem? Anything we can help him with?"

"Dean's been an employee of this county for a while, Pat. He should be very familiar with the benefits and services that are provided to county employees, including our employee assistance program. He can get free and confidential help any time he needs."

"Lots of people don't ask for help, even when they really need it."

"We can only offer the help, Pat. We can't make him use it."

"Wow, Mitch. I really like to think we're better than that."

Mitch let out a sigh of frustration. "All I know Pat is that we have a severely underperforming employee and one that EVERYONE in this county depends on a great deal. I need you to be a friend here, Pat, and support us on this. If Dean doesn't get his crap together, we are going to have to fire his ass. And this particular stick of dynamite has a damned short fuse, if you get my drift."

"And all I know, Mitch," I said, walking up to him and staring him eye to eye, "is that if you ever...ever...EVER publicly humiliate and assassinate another long time county employee like that again, I am seriously going to punch you...in your fucking... throat!" I headed out the door to the meeting room, turned one last time for emphasis and said, "your fucking THROAT!"

I just hope the poor bastard didn't trip over his own jaw when he finally collected himself enough to leave.

*****

It was a good thing that the meeting took place on Friday because I really needed to have a weekend off. True to his word, Dean managed to get the email system back up and running again. However, he left as soon as that was done and subsequently failed to get some long-awaited software installed in the system for the county Veterans Affairs office, which royally pissed off the VA administrator. No sooner had Dean solved one of his problems than he had dug another hole for himself elsewhere.

There wasn't much I could do so I was determined as hell to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend and the unofficial start of summer.

Every village, town and city in the Midwest has their own local holiday or festival and Red River Falls was certainly no exception. Every year, on Memorial Day weekend, the entire downtown area of Red River Falls shuts down for The Great Gateway Festival. The Great Gateway Festival harkens back to the days when Red River Falls was founded and served as a gateway on the pioneer trails leading to the great northwest territories of Wyoming, Montana and Oregon.

The festival consisted of a massive parade, a huge carnival that completely encompassed the park located at the central square, and numerous other events. There was a Civil War reenactment in a nearby park, as well as a huge Barbecue competition. A band shell was set up on one of the closed off streets and there were street dances held on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.

Shannon and I decided to take her daughter Bridget and my boys, Nick and Jake, and catch some of the events of the festival, starting with the parade Saturday morning. The weather was absolutely perfect, the streets were lined with thousands of spectators and I actually was able to enjoy myself.

The Red River Falls police department provided most of the staffing for the three day festival with only minor auxiliary staffing coming from my department as well as most of our reserve deputies, the police reserves and the Civilian Emergency Response Team. Besides, Chief Roy Banks detested having to work any closer with the sheriff's department than he absolutely had to - a grudge that went back to the days of my predecessor, Sheriff William "Bud" Roberts.