Granddad

"Mr. Smith?"

"MR. SMITH!"

"Errr, sorry. Miles away."

"Somewhere nice I hope?"

"Oh yes, I think so! A nice sunny beach."

"Sounds lovely, was I there?"

"Hang on, I'll have a look," I said smiling up into her laughing eyes.

"Yes! There you are. Tiny little yellow bikini." I told her.

"But I haven't got a tiny little yellow bikini." she replied sadly.

"Oh! What colour is it?" I asked tentatively.

"Blue, sky blue." Came back the answer with another amused smile.

"Hang on, I'll have another look. Oh, yes! There you are. Ummm that is tiny, very nice. Oh! An' so are those!" I looked up at her and grinned.

"What?" she asked playfully.

"You've just taken your top off, is that likely?" I asked looking pointedly at her nice, full breasts.

She seemed to think for a moment then...

"Yes, probably, very probably under the right circumstances."

"Hang on! Let me check to see if it's the right circumstances."

She was laughing. I was smiling. Happy daze.

"Oh! I do think it must be the right circumstances. That was a small bikini bottom, wasn't it?"

"Was?"

"Yes, you've just slipped them off as well. Now you're just wearing a big pair of sunglasses and flip-flops."

"Flip-flops? That's not very sexy!" she was really laughing happily.

I was laughing as much, enjoying the silly banter.

"Maybe not but they'll stop you from burning your feet on the hot sand."

"Big sunglasses will give me panda eyes if it's that hot," she said knowledgeably.

"True, but they'll enable you to pretend you're not checking out the guys that are checking out you while having naughty thoughts, and that you're enjoying it."

"How do you know they're having naughty thoughts?" she asked with a grin that was getting more wicked by the second.

"Because I'm old enough to be your father and I'm having naughty thoughts and if I am they must be, or gay!" I admitted gleefully.

She glanced down at her clipboard.

"Grandfather!" she said, simply.

"What? Eh? Oh, yes -- well I'm young for my age." I said grinning impishly up at her.

She started, looked thoughtful...

"When's all this happening?" she asked in mock seriousness.

"Soon as you've made up my new specs, couple of days after, gotta make sure I can see properly first. Why, wanna come?" I asked, mischievously.

"How long we talking about?" Still the wicked smile and impish sparkle in her eyes.

"How long d'you think I'll last?"

She looked at me appraisingly.

"Lemme see," she said stroking her chin, "two maybe three....." she paused for a long time, "days?"

"Phew! I thought for a minute you were going to say hours! So, a long day to get there then.." I paused, calculating, "Let's say three days, a few days recovery then, maybe four days, coz I'll be in better shape by then. A bit of recuperation then the long drive home -- say ten-fourteen days?" I suggested playfully.

"I'll ask my husband," she said calling my playful bluff.

"Good idea," I replied totally unabashed then handed her my card. "Phone and email. If he say's OK, call or email. Gotta passport?" I laughed.

"Of course," she replied equally happy.

Unfortunately we had to get down to the task of sorting out new frames etc.., and although the banter continued it was much more sedate. It took about half an hour in all.

We parted on good terms.

"Mr. Smith, you're a rogue!" she whispered.

" Anja, you're beautiful!" I replied quietly, "have a wonderful day."

I spent the next two days getting things organised for my month long break. To say I didn't have fond memories of the few moments silliness wouldn't be true but, as I'm sure you realise I didn't even bother to check my emails more than the usual once a day.

You'll be no more surprised than I, when, on the third evening I checked my mail to find, what I first thought was a spam holiday come on. I didn't recognise the email address nor did it look like the usual spam mailing format. A yahoo account when I looked closer. I opened it

### ### ###

Hi Granddad

I asked my husband -- he thinks it's a wind up and that I should accept just so he can enjoy you trying to wriggle out of it. What he doesn't realise is how much fun we both had for those few minutes or that I was floating on air with the silliness of it all, all day. Let's wind him up! I'd love to see his face when he has to wriggle out of it! And if he doesn't? I'd be delighted to cum with you and promise not to wear you out too quickly.

Can you send more details? Even if it is a wind up, it'll be fun to watch his face.

Anja xxx

### ### ###

I thought about it for a while -- wind up? What the hell, it could be fun!

The reality was perfectly simple. I was going anyway, there was negligible cost involved in taking another person. I'd be buying food anyway and eating out more often than not so it might even be cheaper -- not that it mattered either way. I'd been there often enough to have many friends who I knew would be there. On the plus side all I had to do was collect her and return her safely. During the intervening days I'd have the company of a perfectly beautiful creature. Even if, when I knocked on her door, she said 'sorry I'm not really coming' I would have lost nothing except a lot of fanciful thoughts and, admit it myself, I'm probably too old to entertain fanciful thoughts about a girl about the same age as my granddaughter.

### ### ###

Hi Anja!

To be honest I was very surprised to receive your email. Also VERY delighted!

More details, as requested -- unfortunately it's all correct, not made up like us on the beachso you will probably change your mind :-(

I have a one bedroom apartment in a naturist village on the Mediterranean coast, 100 metres from a sandy beach and the sea. It only has one bed, a big one. About this time each year I go down with all the bits and pieces I might need for the season. I stay a while then return. Once it is all set up I go down whenever I want and stay as long as I want. I should be delighted to enjoy your company for two weeks and also your attempts to wear me out GBWG!

If you need any further information please write or phone.

Granddad xxx

### ### ###

I sent it off with a big smile -- nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Half an hour later my 'phone rang.

### ### ###

"Hi Granddad!"

"Anja! How are you? Everything OK?"

"We got your reply -- he is convinced it's a wind-up! But he didn't see that wicked glint in your eye when we were larking about -- he didn't see mine either."

"You naughty girl! Where is he now?"

"I am, and it's all your fault, Granddad! He's gone for a run, as ever! Can I be naughty and ask for more details? I'll send an 'official' email tomorrow asking, if that's OK?"

"That's fine, no problems anything you need to know tonight?"

"No, not really -- I'm planning on getting to a point where I can say that if you do, actually turn up I'm going to go with you. So the more of a wind-up he thinks it is the better, is that OK?"

"Perfect! For the record," I paused.

"Yes?"

"If we get to the stage of me picking you up then you can be assured I shall pick you up! I'm more than happy to have you with me for as long as you wish, OK?"

"You are? That's great! I'm working on it -- have already checked I can get the time off! And Granddad?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"When you get the email tomorrow make your reply as outrageous as you can. That'll really get him going!"

"You're a very bad girl! Tell you what, I'll tell you the absolute truth about what we could do together, that'll really get him going! Trust me."

"Thanks, Granddad, I'll email the bits for him to know, read the emails, y'know, from now on then ring you with the bits for us, OK?"

"Perfect!"

"Night night Granddad -- sleep well."

"Night night Sweetheart, enjoy your naughty dreams. Kiss kiss kiss."

### ### ###

WOW! Now that's a turn up for the book and no mistake. Charlie, Joan and the rest will be flabbergasted! If anything comes of it, that is!

I checked my email the following morning.

### ### ### Hi Granddad, Thanks for your quick reply. Could I have a bit more information, please? I've no idea what to expect so really have no idea what I should bring, if it's not too much trouble? A girl needs to be properly prepared, y'know

Anja XXX

### ### ###

Hi Anja, Ummmm? Tell a girl what to take on holiday? Those are very murky waters. That be a land where demons fear to tread an' no mistake.

Tell you what, I'll try to give you a flavour of everything that could/might/should occur and you can cherry pick to your hearts content. That way I don't take the rap for you not being prepared. Of course, if you need further info I'm yer man! OK?

It's a twelve and a half hour drive, door to door + comfort breaks etc., so a very long day. You'll need to be dressed comfortably. The wheels are fully air-conditioned so we can choose the temperature you need as long as it's not too warm and sends me to sleep.I always have light travel rugs/blankets on the back seat so you could snuggle up in one of those if you get too tired.

If you prefer I'll book a room for us about half way and we can do it in two bites (and a nibble or two).

Once we arrive you won't need any clothes at all except sandals, the roads and pathways are a nightmare! Unfortunately it is sometimes chilly and or windy so you'll probably want something to slip on and off, particularly if we go out for a meal in the evenings. Evening 'wear' is very much a thing of choice anything from a wide grin to evening gowns (revealing for pref.) I normally wear shorts and shirt if warm and light trousers and shirt if cooler. A light fleece or jacket covers all eventualities.

Clubbing -- for the most part clubs open around 11pm. They are NOT like the clubs we have here!Males are required to 'look smart' females are encouraged to look sexy/very sexy. Ludicrously high heels and a belt masquerading as a skirt seems to be the order of the day. Oh, and a little bag, thingy, to put your large supply of condoms, little bottle of lube, some tissues, wet wipes and a key to the apartment, if you decide to go back there before me.

Speaking of which -- Condoms -- I always visit the clinic before going on holiday to check that no little nasties have crept in under the radar, as it were. I also visit again upon return, for the same reason. I went last week and all is goodI'm mentioning this because it is essential that you understand that, while at the clubs or cinema, or anywhere for that matter, you use a condom whenever you are with someone or someone(s)that you do not know or trust completely.

For the record my friends and I have our own little gatherings quite regularly, all keep a very close eye on their 'health' and I'm absolutely certain that you will be made most welcome if you so wish.

I will be taking my usual stock of a couple of gross condoms, 500ml edible lube and a wholesale sized box of wet wipes. None of my lady friends have ever expressed a problem with sore throats but you might know otherwise. If you have your own preferences for condoms, lumpy/flavoured etc.. or lube then either let me know or bring the ones you already have/or more.

While on the subject -- pills or patches? Make sure you bring spares of patches if you use them. I'm sure you'll be swimming or at least getting very wet. I wouldn't want your patch to float away. Swimming will not require a costume. If fact they are totally banned in the pools.

Shopping -- there is a complete range, from groceries to sex toys via party wear. There's even an ironmongers if you're into bondage (chains/padlocks)? If you have a favourite rabbit or clit vibe.... better the devil you knowIf you haven't much in the way of party wear and want to go to a partyI'm sure we can find something in the boutiques that you'd be happy for me to see you nearly wearing

Days out -- If you get bored with walking around with nothing on and getting a tan we can always go out in the wheels and explore the beautiful countryside, so suitable clothes might be useful.

Ummmm? Have you tried river bathing? Maybe your tiny little sky blue outfit would be handy, just in case I can't get you naked without upsetting the natives. Well the strait-laced ones, anyway

I think that about covers it.

Anything you need in the way of clarification, just ask.

Love? Granddad XXX

PS -- sunscreen? Factor 50? probably, but if you really want to make an old man happy -- Factor 10 -- then I can spend all day re-applying it!

Sun hat and shades that don't give you panda eyes.

### ### ###

I spent the rest of the day wondering how long the charade would continue but admitted I was loving every minute. Nice girl.

At eight that evening my 'phone rang.

### ### ###

"Hi Anja, how's it goin'?"

"Hi, Granddad -- you're evil you are!"

"I am! I mean, I am? How so?"

"Two gross of condoms!" she exclaimed unbelievingly.

"Well, I'm cutting down this year -- still got a few left from last season -still in date though." I chuckled.

"Huh! And half a litre of lube, edible?" she was laughing.

"Yes, I wondered about that. I'm thinking I should get a full litre this year, back end of last year it got a bit touch and go. Errrm, do you find it useful?" I asked solemnly. "Where's your husband tonight?"

"The usual nightly run. He's a physical jerk getting to be more of a jerk than physical, really. So, you're saying I should bring a little bag, thingy to put the necessary supplies in, yes?" behind the laugh I could hear a little concern.

"Don't worry about that too much. I've got a couple, just in case. Neat little jobs, hang off your shoulder or put it around your waist. Adjust it right and it could hide you modesty. Have you got any?"

"Any bags or modesty?" she asked. The laughter was back in her voice.

"Yes, what does your husband think of it so far?" I asked in a serious voice.

"Wind-up! Total wind-up either that or I'm planning a trip away with a lover and this is a cover-up."

"That's a perfectly reasonable consideration," I admitted, "and?" still a serious voice.

"I told him my 'lover' was over sixty and...."

I snorted.

"What? You are!"

"True but you could have told him I was over seventy and still been telling the truth."

"As you say but if I had said seventy he'd think I was really planning to go away with someone nearer my age but 'over sixty' is probably a wind-up. Anyway, you're over sixty and I've told him that IF you turn up I'm going with you! You sure you're happy with that?"

"Perfectly, promise. Bye the way, I'll need your API info, OK?"

"API?"

"Advanced Passenger Information. Name, address, DOB and passport number etc.. I take it you're an EU citizen?"

"Yes."

"No problem then. Check it out on the Euro-tunnel site. Put the info on a piece of paper and let me have it when I pick up my specs. OK? I'll fill in the details on my booking.

"OK, will do... Granddad?" she finished quizzically.

"Yes, Sweetheart."

"All that stuff you sent, it's true, isn't it?"

"Yes, Sweetheart."

"Even the bit about your private little club?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, but I forgot to say that we often watch films together rather than go to the overpriced cinema."

"Naughty films?" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Naughty, probably doesn't quite cover it. I'm thinking more... filthy?"

"Ohhhh! Goody! I've never seen a naughty film let alone a filthy one, can I come?"

"More than once, I hope!"

"Granddad! That's rude!" she laughed.

"It is," I agreed, "anything else I can assist you with?" I added cheekily.

"Wouldn't mind you telling me a bedtime story, Granddad, a filthy one!" she replied with a dirty laugh.

"When we get there," I promised.

"I'd like that. Ummm, can I ring you again tomorrow, when he's gone for his run. I sleep much better after being silly with you for a while? I'll email any 'official' questions. OK?"

"Naughty Miss! Ring whenever you wish, the only thing you'll interrupt will be my very naughty day-dreams. Sleep tight Sweetheart kiss, kiss, kiss.

"Night, night Granddad love you kiss, kiss, kiss."

The line went dead.

### ### ###

Happy daze! I wandered into the kitchen to make a nice cup of refreshing tea. The kettle had just boiled when the 'phone rang.

"Anja! Is everything OK?" I asked more than slightly alarmed.

"Hi Granddad, yes, sorry to frighten you. Alls great. Just remembered another question I should have asked first, really."

Huh Ohhh, here it comes, I thought.

"Ask away Sweetheart."

"You said you always go to the clinic, just to be sure?"

"Yes?"

"Should I go? Y'know, just to be sure?"

"Do you think there's good reason to check?"

"No, shouldn't be a problem at all but at least I'll know and more importantly, you'll know and maybe your friends might need to know? I hate condoms! I wouldn't mind, really I wouldn't. Do I go to the hospital or is there a special clinic somewhere?"

I told her she was very sweet to think about it and gave the details of the clinic I always used.

"Thanks, Granddad, love you kiss, kiss, kiss."

The line went dead before I could answer.

Well!

### ### ###

There was no email the following morning, which was a pity.

At 9:30 my 'phone rang -- the opticians.

"Hello Mr. Smith, this is Anja, at the opticians."

"Hello Anja, have you got some good news for me?"

"I have Mr. Smith, I'm ringing to let you know your spectacles will be ready for you on Thursday, tomorrow. You'll be able to make the final plans for your holiday now! That's good isn't it?"

"It's wonderful news, Anja, thank you. How are your holiday plans going, I think you said you were planning to go away, didn't you?"

"I did, yes! How good of you to remember. I'm going with a friend. We're sorting out details as we speak. My bag's packed and unpacked a few times as I re-think what I might need to take. I've got to sort something out at lunchtime then I'm pretty much ready, soon as he says the word! How about you?"

"Pretty much the same as you except I know what I need to take, done it loads of times. I'm not sure what my friend will bring, you know what girls are! I want to sort out some audio files for the drive, it's a long one but need to check her preferences. Then I've got to sort out a picnic hamper so we can stop when we want and eat. Apart from that I can go as soon as she's free. She's working you see."

"Oh! Poor girl, must be horrid not knowing when she'll actually get away. I'm lucky, Friday's my day off. I stood in for a colleague last Saturday so he's standing in for me this Saturday and as I worked on Sunday I'm off this Sunday -- Lucky me! I've got two weeks holiday starting Monday plus three days beforehand! I can leave whenever my friend is ready. I'm just awaiting his call."

"Hey! That'll be great! I hope you and your friend have a wonderful time. I'll be in first thing tomorrow, OK?"

"That'll be perfect Mr. Smith and I hope you and your friend have a fantastic time too. See you tomorrow then, byeeee."

The line went dead.

### ### ###

They opticians knew she was going away, with a friend? A he? She's all packed and ready to go?

I gave a little skip, just in case it wasn't a wind-up and headed for my computer. Time to plan a route or two.

She rang just before 2pm.

### ### ###

"Hi, Granddad!"

"Hi, Sweetheart, everything OK?"

"Should be, I've just left the clinic. They asked why I thought I had a problem. Told them I didn't think I had, just wanted to be sure coz my boyfriend dumped me and I wanted to check he hadn't left me with something nasty that I'd pass onto my new fellah. Was very tempted to say he was a septuagenarian." she giggled. "They will txt me the result later today or tomorrow, OK?"