Grandpa was "The Assman" Ch. 02

In the first chapter, 67 year old Theodore Patterson accidentally discovered his granddaughter Cathy's special sanctuary, and that meeting had major implications.

Grandpa Ted was invited back the next evening, and now he was forced to spend the day with his son and his wife, along with Cathy, while dreaming about what was to come.

...

Chapter One: I feel like Grandpa Simpson

"I feel like Grandpa Simpson," I mumbled to Cathy as we sat in the vehicle that was going to take us on a tour through the city, exploring various historical sites, before the grand finale when the bus would slide into the Hudson River and become a boat.

Cathy went into a giggle fit as I described my take on the adventure we were into, telling her that this was something that Homer would do to his father before dumping his butt back into the retirement home, relieved to be done with his obligation to spend a few moments with his old man.

Actually, it was a rather interesting excursion for a sunny Saturday afternoon, and it was made even nicer by the girl at my side, my granddaughter Cathy. Just the feel of her thigh against mine was enough to send chills down my spine after what had happened the night before, especially after she had confirmed that it hadn't all been a dream.

"That was so awesome last night, Grandpa," Cathy had exclaimed when she saw me early this morning. "I never came that hard before in my life."

I didn't tell her that I had popped my nut seconds after getting back to my bedroom, but I did tell her that it was special for me too, and now sitting behind her parents we were carrying on like schoolkids.

"What are you two doing back there?" Beth said as she turned around and gave us a strange look.

"Brent, isn't that what we used to say to you when you were carrying on in the back seat of the car on trips?" I asked my son, who nodded in agreement.

"You used to threaten to turn the car around and go home," Brent added.

"Well, I guess we better calm down then," I told Cathy. "Don't want to swim to shore."

A dip in the smelly river might be needed before long, I feared, as the feel and sight of Cathy's soft thigh against my leg was making my blood pressure rise.

Nice legs, I noted, creamy white and soft looking, with just the hint of a fine down on the tops of her thighs. How I wanted to touch those shapely legs and to feel her soft skin against my hand.

The narrator droned on about the history of the Hudson River while everybody on the bus pointed and babbled with each other, and Cathy leaned over and whispered in my ear while her folks were distracted, her hand resting briefly on my leg.

"Can't wait for tonight."

I nodded, swallowing hard while trying to control my accelerating heartbeat, and managed to behave for the rest of the afternoon. At home, the evening was a bit tougher, because every time a looked at Cathy I saw her naked.

Those precious breasts, practically designed to fit in a man's palm, drew my attention every time I saw them jiggle under Cathy's shirt. She was wearing a bra but they still moved around a bit, and while I wasn't a breast man they were still nice enough to command my attention.

Cathy wore a 34A brassiere, and the reason I knew that was because I had checked out the tag on the contraption I spotted in the hamper that morning. Certainly wasn't her mother's, who was much bigger than that, but I didn't care about the size of her boobs because I had other interests.

Her waist was a little thick but not fat, and those legs were quite shapely, but it was something else that really caught my eye all the time, and as I watched it wiggle in her snug shorts I felt myself stir to life.

...

Chapter Two: Cosmo Kramer is the Assman!

That was what Michael Richards had proclaimed loudly, and while I had already seen the episode where Kramer got the wrong license plate, it still got a chuckle out of me. That paled in comparison to Cathy's reaction when she heard it, and she exploded with laughter as we all sat and watched Seinfeld in the living room.

"Good grief," Cathy's father said as he watched his daughter doubled over on the couch. "It's not that funny!"

"Can't believe they allow that stuff on television anyway," Cathy's mother said, looking for the TV Guide in hopes of finding something else to watch.

"The Assman!" Cathy howled, and as she laughed she looked at me and winked. "What's wrong with that?"

Cathy's parents shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders at me as if to apologize, but I was laughing as well.

"It is funny," I opined as Cathy wound down, and after she got control of herself everybody went back to watching the show, except that when I glanced over at Cathy she mouthed something at me.

I caught it the second time, and I had to turn away while I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. She didn't say it, but her mouthing echoed in my mind as if she had screamed it.

You are the assman.

We exchanged glances as we headed our separate ways, and her peck on the cheek was innocent enough, although the press of her breast against me seemed intentional. Now I was forced to sit in my room after changing into my PJ's, trying to figure out what would be a suitable time before going upstairs.

The bathroom was just outside my room, so I made a couple of trips to check out the activity level down at my son's bedroom. The first trip was necessary, but I could see the light on in their room. The second trip wasn't needed, but when I saw that the light was out I hurried back into my room and grabbed the little bag that I had debated about bringing up with me.

Tiptoeing down the hall and up the stairs, I saw the door of Cathy's sanctuary ajar again, and the light was on, which I took as a welcome sign, beckoning me to come right in.

...

Chapter Three: The bag.

"Hi Grandpa!" Cathy chirped as she skipped over to greet me at the door. She was wearing a yellow and green tie-dyed t-shirt and nothing else, and as she jumped into me we kissed and hugged.

"What's in the bag?" Cathy asked. "Booze?"

"You're not old enough to drink," I said. "Are you?"

"Afraid you might corrupt me?" Cathy asked. "So what's in the bag?"

I felt creepy bringing it up to show Cathy, but it was too late to change that now, having piqued her interest, so while Cathy bounced onto her bed I walked over with my parcel.

"We were talking about toys yesterday," I said, opening up my bag and taking out the contents.

"Oh man, this is so cool!" Cathy chirped as I handed the box to her. "It looks brand new."

"I keep it in as good condition as I can," I said. "Have to take care of my only friend."

"Don't say that, Grandpa," Cathy said, her face suddenly turning serious. "I'm always your friend. Always have been and always will be."

"I didn't mean it that way."

"I'm serious," Cathy insisted. "I've always had a major crush on you, for as long as I can remember. I figured you could tell. Everybody else in the family did."

"I knew we got along really well," I said. "It goes without saying how crazy I am about you."

"You always treated me like I was like an equal, even when I was a kid. You made me feel like a woman even back in the olden days when I was a goofy kid," Cathy said. "Never more so than last night."

"I'm glad."

"So, how does this thing work?" Cathy said, pulling the Ejaculator 3000 out of the cardboard box and plastic sleeve. "Show me."

"You just hook up that hose to the end, lube up and slip it in, and then you start squeezing the trigger," I said.

"No," Cathy said. "I want you to show me how it works."

"Show - I can't..." I stammered, but Cathy wasn't having any of that.

"Come on Grandpa," Cathy said with a salacious grin. "You didn't bring that up here just to show me the box."

"I swear," I said, and it was true. No way was I going to show my private parts to Cathy. "I didn't plan any such thing. Besides, you need lube to use it and I didn't bring any up here."

Cathy bounced over to the night table and pulled out a bottle of something.

"Has to be a water based because otherwise..." I started to say, but she had another tube of something else in a second, and as she waved them in her hand her face exploded with that smile that always melted my heart.

"What are you doing with all of that stuff in your room?"

"I'm a horny girl, or didn't you figure that out last night?" Cathy reminded me. "Now stop stalling and get your clothes off so you can show me how you do this."

"Cathy, I'm an old man," I protested. "A guy my age is not a pretty sight."

"I've seen old guys before."

"Not naked."

"Yes, naked," Cathy said bluntly, and my facial expression must have given away my shock. "It's not like I'm a virgin or anything."

"Well, er," I mumbled.

"You didn't think I was, did you?" Cathy asked.

"Guess I'm still thinking of you as my little buttercup," I admitted.

"Now I'm a big butterball."

"You aren't big."

"I weigh 129 and I'm only 5'3!"

"That's not fat."

"You're stalling."

"How old?" I asked. "The man."

"Take off your top and I'll tell you."

My hands were shaking as I undid the buttons of my pajama tops, and when I pulled it off Cathy gave a low whistle of approval.

"You look great and don't look anything like your age," Cathy opined. "Love the hairy chest. It looks like a puffy cloud on you."

I looked at the mirror and discovered that Cathy was right. I didn't look like any 67 year geezer. I could pass for 63 easy, in dim light.

"Okay, now what about your older man?" I asked, trying to draw her attention away from my scrawny frame and back to her.

"He was about 50, I think," Cathy said. "I didn't ask for his I.D. but that's my guess."

"What happened?" I asked. "I mean, how did you - you know?"

"I was helping out at the church youth center and stuck around late one night to help clean up, and before you know it, I was on my back bleeding all over a couch."

"He worked at the church?" I asked.

"Well YEAH!" Cathy said with a laugh. "He wore the uniform."

"You're kidding! How could he do such a thing?"

"Easy. He was horny and told me I looked like the girl on Blossom. I was horny and thought he looked like George Clooney. It was my idea. It lasted about a minute. He pulled his dick out and shot his load all over my belly and that was the end. I don't think he was that into it."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because he got implicated in some stuff with altar boys and got sent wherever they send guys like that," Cathy explained.

"Have you been with other men?" I asked.

"Yes. Hundreds. Now drop 'em," Cathy said.

I pawed at the snap for a minute, finding it tough to handle answers to questions I shouldn't have asked.

"Hey, I was only kidding," Cathy said. "Two other guys. Guys my age. Okay? Now let's see your goodies."

...

Chapter Four: Shit.

Ever take your clothes off in front of somebody that's nearly a half century younger than you? If so, then you will understand what I was thinking as I took forever to undo a snap. At 18 Cathy was so young - hell, I've got underwear older than her, but I could only delay for so long before the snap came open.

"Holy shit!"

"Cathy!" I admonished her, but how can you punish a girl for cursing when you're in the middle of exposing yourself to her?

"Well, damn! Grandpa, your package is awesome!"

"Stay where you are," I said, holding up my hand to stop her in her tracks and making her sit down where she had been. "I thought you said you had seen guys before."

"I have, but your cock is freaking big."

"It is not," I scoffed, lifting it up and plopping it back down. "What you see is pretty much it. Just a dead dangling dick."

"Okay, then it's the biggest dead dick I've ever seen," Cathy said finally. "Uncut too. That's awesome. Never seen one live before."

"I'm a museum piece," I shrugged.

"How big does it get? That's got to be 6" right there."

"Afraid it doesn't get much bigger," I warned.

"That's big enough," Cathy said, peeling off her shirt and bouncing on the bed. "Might as well get comfortable. Why don't you come over here now."

I started to walk over to the other side of the bed but Cathy grabbed me by the wrist.

"Let me," Cathy whispered. "Just for a second."

As she spoke, her hand came out and grabbed my cock, and when her other hand reached down for my balls, I froze in place.

"Man, this is so wicked cool the way the foreskin slides up and down," Cathy exclaimed. "And your sac is enormous too."

I don't know if my balls were all that big, but they did hang in a elongated pouch that gave that impression, so when Cathy's began rolling my balls in her palm while stretching out my cock, I moved onto the bed and broke her grip.

"You said you wanted to see how this works," I reminded Cathy, rolling onto my back and hooking up the trigger hose to the tube.

"What can I do?" Cathy asked.

"Just be quiet and watch."

"No way am I going to just sit here," Cathy announced and promptly filled her palm with lubricant and grabbed my cock while I was putting together the contraption.

"Cathy!" I protested, but the feeling those little hands gave me as they lathered up my cock was too good to fight, not to mention how erotic it looked to see those tiny pale hands working up and down my dusky toned pecker.

"I thought you said it took you a long time to get hard?" Cathy asked. "I can feel you getting stiffer every second, and it IS TOO getting bigger."

"Takes me a long time with my own hand. Let me put the sleeve on," I gasped, feeling like I would cum any second if Cathy was to keep on stroking me, and besides, the feeling of that greased sleeve was sometimes enough to get me going by itself if I was in the right mood.

My cock was almost fully engorged by then, which made inserting my member a little easier even if the snugness was a bit of a challenge, but as I slid into the cylinder Cathy was going ballistic with glee.

"Oh man, when I first saw the size of that tube, I was like - why is that thing so big, but you're going to fill that thing up."

"Not even close," I said while pulling the hair away from the base in order to get the seal better.

"Can I hold the trigger so you can hold down the tube down?" Cathy asked.

"Okay, but not too fast," I cautioned, show her the vacuum release valve and warning her not to go crazy. "These things can do damage if you aren't careful."

"Just tell me what to do," Cathy said as she studiously watched my cock in the cylinder.

"Slowly squeeze the trigger," I instructed. Very slowly."

"Like this?"

"Yes," I said, and after a couple of squeezes I spun the release knob so she could build up the pressure again. "Too good too soon," I explained.

"Anything I'm doing to cause that?"

"Yes. Stop looking so beautiful."

"I love you so much, Grandpa," Cathy said, leaning over and kissing my chest. "And just so you know, you have a seriously big cock. This is the biggest one I've even seen in person."

"Slower," I gasped. "You've only seen 3 though."

"Only had 3 in my pussy," Cathy corrected. "Given five other guys head, and jerked off a few besides. Makes me sound like a pig, doesn't it?"

"No, honey," I said. "Slower. As long as you're careful. Sex should be fun."

"Have you been with anybody since Grandma passed?"

"No."

"Was Grandma your first woman?"

"No honey. Little faster please. No, I had quite a few women in my youth, so you can see that I'm in no position to cast stones in your direction."

"Any affairs while you were married to Grandma?"

"No. Never," I said, before thinking back. "Wait, I take that back. In the late 70's or early 80's maybe, swinging was all the rage. You know, swapping mates with other couples?"

"And you two did that?" Cathy asked excitedly.

"No," I said while blinking from the sweat burning my eyes. "But I had always mentioned how much I would like to see her with another woman. I shouldn't be telling you this."

"No, I think that it's great. Grandma with another woman? How cool is that? So you two did stuff with the woman?"

"Sort of," I explained. "I was just watching. After Emma and Grace - that was the other woman's name - did their thing, Emma said that if I wanted to, I could have sex with Grace. I didn't want to. I loved your Grandma and didn't want to ever have to say that I had made love to another woman while we were hitched."

"That's so sweet."

"Well, Emma insisted that I do something so she didn't feel guilty about what she had done, so the woman gave me oral sex."

"Awesome! So she got off on watching you get head?" Cathy asked.

"She said she liked it, and I liked watching her with the other woman, so it worked out fine. That was it. Once was enough."

"So you didn't think any less of Grandma for doing that?"

"For being with another woman? Heck, if I was a woman I wouldn't even look at a guy," I scoffed. "Why? Have you been with another girl?"

"Yes."

"Slower!" I gasped, hitting the release valve just in time. "That's wonderful, honey."

"You mean that?" Cathy asked. "Cool. Do you remember the girl that stopped here when you first arrived?"

"The tall skinny blonde?" I asked.

"Yeah. she was wearing that tight blue shirt."

"I remember."

"Everybody notices her with those tits."

"I'd walk through a herd of women that looked like her to be with you."

"I love you so much, Grandpa," Cathy said, and either she was sweating as much as I was or a tear was running down her cheek. "Am I still doing this right?"

"Yes baby," I grunted, looking at my grossly swollen cock through the foggy tube. "But I'm going to have to cum soon."

"I know," Cathy said. "Your face and neck are all red."

"No honey, wait!" I protested as Cathy spun the release valve on the tune. "Not yet!"

But Cathy had other ideas, and after yanking the tube off of my cock, her head flew down to my crotch while her fists grabbed my cock. Suddenly, the head of my cock went into her warm and moist mouth, and as her lips slid down the slick shaft of my cock, her fist began pumping what she could not take in her mouth.

It only lasted about a half minute, but what an amazing 30 seconds it was. Cathy's lips, tongue and hands worked such magic that despite what I thought about the situation, I was helpless to do anything but look at Cathy's head bobbing furiously on my cock, fist working like a piston on my cock while her other hand kneaded my balls vigorously.

I cried out weakly while I came, and it was an orgasm that went beyond description. I came and came until my balls were drained, and it wasn't one of my usual dribbles of semen, because I could see my cum drizzling down my cock as it oozed out of the corners of Cathy's mouth.

My entire body twitched with violent spasms as it felt like I was getting an electric shock. Cathy's face came off of my cock, either to check to see if I was having a stroke or just to come up for air, and when she saw I was more than fine, she smiled with her mouth full of my seed before swooping back down and sucking my cock until it eventually went limp.

Even a minute later, my leg was still twitching uncontrollably, and that got us both giggling until Cathy climbed up over the discarded Ejaculator 3000 to join me.

"You have no idea what that was like," I told her.

"Kinda like I felt last night," Cathy assured me with a twinkle in her eye.

"And like you're going to feel again in a little while," I informed Cathy just before giving her a kiss that was as messy as could be.

As our tongues dueled, she seemed shocked that I would be doing that but had no problem matching my passion.

"Most guys wouldn't do that," Cathy said.

"I'm not most guys," I explained before climbing up to my knees. "Besides, I know where it came from. Now let's take care of my little buttercup."