Hang in There

"I guess the last time he did me the rubber broke and we didn't notice. After the last time he did me he hooked up with another girl. Then I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was yours because every other guy I'd been with had worn a rubber and you have never used one with me.

"You need to understand one thing Frank. I'm yours and I have always been yours since our third date. I knew then I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you Frank. God knows I do. I can't lose you Frank; I just can't."

"But you have lost me Tanya. There is no way we will ever get back together after my seeing your child. You should have trusted me Tanya. You should have told me everything back when I walked away after having heard Rory and Cliff. It would have taken a little time, but I was hung up on you enough that I would have eventually put it behind me.

"But that isn't what you did was it? No, you told me lie after lie until the biggest lie was delivered at the hospital. We are done Tanya. You need to face up to it. We are done!"

"No chance?"

"Not even a smidgen."

She had tears in her eyes when she got up and left but they didn't move me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Having made up my mind not to waste money on a divorce, but to just walk away presented me with a problem. I was used to having a sex life and I was going to have to look for a partner who wouldn't mind playing around with a married man. I wouldn't hide it from whoever I managed to hook up with and I wouldn't hide it from Tanya. With any luck at all she would see me playing around and it would piss her of enough that she would work on getting her dad to pay for a lawyer so she could divorce me.

I wouldn't fight it so it wouldn't cost me anything except for alimony for a period and I didn't expect it would be a long period. It would end when she married again and I didn't figure it would take all that long for her to do it.

I started looking the very next night when I got off from work. I went home, cleaned up, changed clothes and then went bar hopping. Met some people I knew, had some drinks and did some dancing, but I didn't hook up with anyone. I did the same thing the following Friday and Saturday with the same results hook up wise, but Saturday wasn't a total loss. I was at The Stage Coach and about an hour after I'd gotten there I saw Rory come in.

He was alone and as he stood there checking out the place I knew he was there for the same thing I was. He found a seat at the bar and ordered a drink. The stool next to him was open so I went over and sat down beside him. He looked over at me and I saw recognition cross over his face and he started to get up, but I grabbed his arm and said:

"Sit down; I come in peace" I said. "You did just what guys are programmed to do. You went after pussy and you got it. She's the one who was supposed to say no and she didn't do it so it's all on her. I've already dumped her and just want to know the whole story."

He shrugged and then said "It was like you said. She was pussy and she weren't wearing no ring so I went after her. It took eight dates to get her, but I do have to say she was worth the wait. We got it on two or three times a week and then suddenly she said I couldn't have her pussy anymore, but she would still give me head and ass."

"What was the deal with the story you told me that night?"

"It was true. She had gone out with Cliff, but she wouldn't fuck him because he had a small dick. At least that is what she told me. She told him if he ate her pussy she would give him head. You know as well as I do that no guy is going to turn down a blowjob. I guess Cliff was a pretty good muffin muncher so they got together a bunch of times until he found a girl willing to fuck him.

"He and I have always had this friendly rivalry thing going so I had to rub it in when he was asking me why I was wasting time on a bitch that wouldn't put out. As for the meeting itself she told me I could go back to using her pussy again if I did the meeting."

"And after that?"

"After what?"

"Did you just get it once for doing the meeting?"

"Fuck no. We fucked right up until she had the kid."

"You fucked her until she got pregnant?"

"No man; I fucked her right up until two weeks before she went into the hospital. I heard she had a boy."

I just looked at him for several seconds and then said "It was a boy and it is yours."

"Mine? No way. No fucking way!"

"Oh yes Rory, yours. The kid has red hair and blue eyes just like you. Both Tanya and I have dark hair and brown eyes so unless she was screwing another red haired blue eyed dude you are a daddy."

"It couldn't be mine. She said she was on birth control."

"The rubber must have broken."

"What rubber? We never used them. She said she hated the feel of them. She said her pills were protection enough for her."

"Guess they weren't. The good news is that I have dumped her so feel free to get in touch with her and say hello to your son."

I got up and left the bar. Not that there was any chance of Tanya and I getting back together, but if there had been even the slightest chance of it finding out Rory was still fucking her after we had gotten married killed it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two weeks after my talk with Rory I stopped in at a place called The Landing Strip. It was the first time in the place and I liked it so I started stopping in regularly. The place seemed to be the haunt of a bunch of girls who worked at the Kelsey Hayes wheel plant and they all liked to dance.

There was one girl, Harlina Collins, who seemed to like me. Enough so that when I would come in and she was there she would jump up from the table and come over and grab me and then tell the other girls I was hers for the night.

The Strip had a live band on Friday and Saturday night, but you had to do with a juke box for the rest of the week, but the girls didn't seem to care. They wanted to dance and someone whistling or humming a tune would work for them.

After a little more than week of dancing with Harlina I finally asked her out and she said yes. Three dates later we made love for the first time and after that we got together two or three times a week. After three months I was starting to think I'd need to spend the money on an attorney and get a divorce so I could take it to the next level with Harlina.

Then I received a rude awakening. It was a Sunday morning and Harlina and I had just finished a wake up fuck when she told me that it was our last day together.

"My husband will be coming home Monday or Tuesday and I have to go back to being a good girl."

Turned out that hubby worked for an oil company and routinely had to make two or three month trips overseas and mostly to Arabic countries. She went on a trip with him once, but didn't like the way women were treated in those places so she never went with him again.

She told me hubby knew that she played while he was gone and was okay with it as long as it was only when he was gone and she was always there for him when he came home. So we made a day of it, doing it three more times. She told me she would still dance with me and then I kissed her goodbye and went home.

Apparently the other girls from the wheel plant knew about Harlina's life style and it didn't bother them at all. Also they must talk among themselves and it seemed that Harlina gave me good marks. When I danced with the other girls a couple of them dropped hints that they would like to be asked out. I asked and both of them said yes and I ended up having sex with both of them.

Carol lasted six months until she told me that her boyfriend had finally proposed and had put a ring on her finger. As she showed it to me she said:

"Now that I have this I have to be true to my man."

Marge and I only lasted six weeks. Other than sex we had nothing in common and we both knew it. We parted friends and still danced when we were at The Strip. Occasionally she would get to be very horny and when that happened we did get it on for old time's sake.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On most Sundays I had dinner at my folks and my sister and her husband were usually there. One Sunday I was talking with my sister (who was also my closest confidant) about my inability to find a lasting relationship and I got the usual:

"Hang in there Frankie; it will get better. You're a good guy and things will get better for you."

"Yeah! Right!" I thought.

One day a work I had a bitch of a day and I decided what I needed when I got off work were a few cold ones to relax me. I decided to swing by The Strip. A couple of cold ones and some dancing with the girls from Kelsey would mellow me out.

I was having a pretty good time. I was working on my third PBR and when I danced with Harlina she told me hubby was gone again would be gone for two months. Then she asked if that information gave me any ideas. I smiled and told her that it did indeed.

We were in the middle of our third dance when someone pulled the plug on the juke box. When it happened my natural reaction was "What the fuck?" I'd never been in the place on a Wednesday night before so I didn't know that Wednesday nights at The Strip was open mic night. Harlina saw I was pissed and asked why and I told her. She told me about open mic night and then said:

"It's okay baby; some of them are pretty good. Just hang in there and you will have a good time."

The emcee or master of ceremonies or whatever he was called said "By now most of you should all know how we do this but for those of you here for the first time I'll give you a little run down. People come in and sign up and then we get them up here on the bandstand and give them their shot at being a standup comedian. When all who have signed up are done we offer the mic to anyone who wants to come up here and give it a try. I always start things off with a joke and then I turn the mic over to the first hopeful. So here we go.

"A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a car speeding down the freeway. Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. Realizing she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper put down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled:

"Pullover!"

She glanced up from what she was doing, smiled at him and yelled back "Nope. It's a sweater."

After the laughing died down he said "The first hopeful tonight is Sandra." A stunning redhead walked up to him and he handed her the mic. She took the mic, smiled and began.

"First off, just some observations I've made and to some conclusions I've come to.

What is the thinnest book in the world? What men know about women.

What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this."

How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know because it's never happened.

How are men and parking spaces alike? The good ones are already taken and the only ones left are the handicapped.

What's a man's idea of housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote between his toes.

How do men define a fifty/fifty relationship? We cook and they eat. They dirty and we clean. They wrinkle and we iron.

How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a girl in a bikini.

A husband asked his wife if she knew the meaning of wife? When she didn't answer he said "Without information fighting every time." The wife when hearing that said "It also means With idiot forever."

She got good laughs on all of them, mostly from the women in the crowd. But she got her biggest laugh, again from the women, when she ended with:

A couple drove down the road for several miles not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them was willing to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs the husband sarcastically asked:

"Relatives of yours."

The wife smiled sweetly at him and replied "Yep! In-laws."

The emcee took the mic from her and said "A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had just acquired two dogs. When asked what their names were the blonde said "The black one is Rolex and the brown one is Timex."

Her friend said "Whoever heard of someone naming their dogs like that?"

"HELLOOOOOOO...," answered he blond, "They are watch dogs."

That got him a boo from the blondes in the audience and he just smiled and said "Next up is George who come to us straight from the meat section at Safeway. He handed the mic to a man who took it and said:

"We have just heard one woman's take on men so I've decided to do a rebuttal. I give you sixteen reasons why some men have dogs instead of wives.

The later you are the more excited the dog is to see you.

Dogs like it if you leave things on the floor.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

You never have to wait for a dog. They are always ready to go instantly.

Dogs find you interesting when you are mad.

Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

Dogs won't wake you up at night to ask "If I died would you get another dog?"

If a dog has babies you can put an ad in the paper and sell them.

When you drop a silent one they enjoy the aroma and don't run around frantically with a can of room spray to try and cover it up.

Dogs will let you put a studded collar on them without calling you a pervert.

If a dog smells another dog on you he won't kick and hit you; he just finds it interesting.

And last, but by no means least, if a dog takes off and leaves you it won't take half of your stuff with it when it goes.

To verify these statements lock your wife and dog in the garage for a couple of hours. Then open the door and observe who is happy to see you."

When he finished he received a good round of applause (mostly from men) and he took a bow and then handed the mic to the emcee.

The emcee took the mic and said "This is the story of the poor blond flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. The pilot had a heart attack and dies. She grabs the microphone and calls a Mayday. "Mayday! Mayday! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!

All of a sudden she hears a voice over the radio saying "This is ATC. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I've had lots of experience with this kind of problem. Just relax. Everything is going to be okay. Now give me your height and position."

The blond says "I'm 5'4'' and I'm in the front seat."

"Okay" says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven..."

He got some chuckles out of it and then he introduced the next wanna be and handed him the microphone.

"A man and a woman were having a quiet romantic dinner and they were gazing lovingly at each other and were holding hands. The waitress, taking an order at another table a few steps away, suddenly notices the woman slowly sliding under the table, but he man sat there and stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still the man stared straight ahead. The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other dinners went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man:

"Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

The man looked up at her and said "No she didn't. She just walked in the door."

He got a big laugh out of that one and went on.

"There was this couple who had been married for twenty years. Every time they made love he insisted on turning out the light. After twenty years the wife felt this was ridiculous and she decided she would break him of his crazy habit. So one night while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming romantic session she reached over and turned on the light.

She looked down and saw that her husband was using a battery operated vibrator. Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard" she screamed at him. "How could you have lied to me all these years? You better explain yourself."

The husband looked her straight in the eye and calmly said "I'll explain the toy...you explain the kids."

I was in a pretty good mood when Harlina and I left The Strip and when I got her home she made it even better.

I had six good weeks with Harlina and then I got the 'hubby coming home' message. We spent our last day together trying to fuck each other to death. Our last day together was both good and bad. The bad, from my point of view, was that it was our last time at least until hubby went away for his next trip.

The good was as I got out of my car at work a man came up to me, handed me an envelope, told me "You have been served" and walked away.

Being sued was good?

You betcha! Tanya was suing me for divorce. She filed using Irreconcilable Differences and asked for no alimony or child support. I signed the papers and sent them in on the same day. I found out later that Rory had gone to see Tanya to find out if Jason was really his. He took one look at the kid and then asked Tanya to marry him. Believe it or not I was invited to the wedding. I passed.

Naturally at one of our Sunday family dinners my sister just had to say "I told you if you just hung in there things would get better."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So there I was; single again and with no desire to get married again any time soon. My social life continued to center on The Landing Strip. Along with the weekends and occasionally on some other week days I started going in there every Wednesday and even flirted with the idea of getting up there and giving it a shot.

The girls from the wheel plant always seemed to be there when I went in and I spent a lot of time out on the dance floor. One night while I was dancing with one of them (Mary Beth) she asked me when it was going to be her turn to go out with me. "As soon as you tell me when and where" was my answer.

We went out twice and ended up in bed together. It lasted two months before she told me it was time to end it.

"I've gotten even with him."

Turns out that her husband was cheating on her so I was her revenge.

A week after Mary Beth and I ended our relationship Gloria, another wheel plant girl, asked me while we were dancing why I kept going after married women when there were single girls around.

"First there was Harlina and then Carol. Even though Carol wasn't married she did have a steady boyfriend. Then you did Mary Beth. What is it? You get a kick out of doing another man's woman?"

I told her the truth or the truth as I saw it anyway.

"I didn't go after them. They came after me. You saw it. Harlina always claimed me whenever I came in here and both Carol and Mary Beth asked me when I was going to ask them for a date. I'm a guy. I was going to turn them down? No way! My question for you is why are you bringing it up? Is it your way of getting me to notice you?"

The answer turned out to be yes and three days later we were fucking up a storm. Gloria and I lasted three months and then she took a job transfer to Chicago. A week after she had gone I was dancing with Harlina and she whispered in my ear:

"Guess who is off on another trip."

I got almost three months before I got the hubby coming home message.

I was getting enough pussy to satisfy me, but I felt something was missing. It took me a bit before I realized what it was. I had liked being married and even though I was getting plenty of pussy none of them were going to marry me.