Hate Me

Crashing down on top of her protégé Nikita buried her face in Alex's neck, the other girl's legs falling from her shoulders to rest either side of her while her strap-on remained buried in her younger lover's cunt. There Nikita wept for a while, whimpering over and over again, "I'm sorry Alex, I'm so, so sorry. It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"It's ok." Alex repeated softly along with some other comforting words for a few moments, then she added, "Please Nikita, more. I'm, I'm so close. I just need a little more. I just, I need you to fuck me. I, mmmmmm, I need you to make love to me."

Alex knew it was too much to ask for, but she couldn't help herself. It was the thing she most wanted in the entire world right now. Not that Alex normally didn't want Nikita to make love to her, she did, but right now it was a physical need stronger than she'd ever known, and considering how much she wanted Nikita that was really saying something. But Alex would settle like she always had. Whether it was Nikita fucking her the way she normally did, hard and rough, or for once getting to hold Nikita all night long until she could finish herself off tomorrow or something, Alex would take whatever Nikita gave her.

What Nikita gave her was unprecedented, Alex's eyes widening as her saviour lifted herself up again to look into her eyes for several long seconds. It kind of looked like Nikita wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to say it. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on Alex's part. Regardless one second the dildo was motionless inside the Russian girl, then it was pumping in and out of her again, only this time slowly. Which had happened before, because while she had always been rough Nikita had rarely been cruel and had always worked Alex up first before giving her a hard fucking. But there was just something different about this. Something Alex couldn't quite describe, but it overwhelmed her.

While she was still trying to figure it out Nikita whispered, "You deserve better, Alex."

Quickly getting what the older woman was trying to say Alex countered, "I, oh God, I don't want better. I want you. Mmmmmm, oh God, I don't want some fairy-tale Niki. Ohhhhhh fuck, I don't need a white picket fence, ooooooh, and children. I just want you. Only you."

This only made things more intense. Not harder, just somehow more intense. Again Alex wasn't sure what it was exactly, but the way Nikita was moving inside her, the way the older spy's arms wrapped around her, and perhaps most of all the way her mentor looked at her was different. More gentle. More loving. More like... more like what Alex imagined love making would be like, the overwhelming sensations combining with the slow thrusting to bring her to the edge of orgasm as fast as any hard fucking had ever done.

Then, when Alex was on the brink, Nikita leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed against each other, closed her eyes and with a fresh tear sliding down her cheek whispered, "I love you Alex."

And then Alex came. She came harder than ever before, yes as a result of the dildo rhythmically thrusting in and out of her pussy, but Alex honestly felt like it was hearing those words she had been aching to hear for so long being spoken from Nikita's lips which actually made her go over the edge. Not that Alex dwelled on it, the young Russian becoming lost in the most amazing climax she'd ever known as she trembled in Nikita's arms.

Nikita didn't know what came next, and she really didn't know what she was doing, but she knew Alex. Or at least she knew how to please her, and as much as Nikita wanted to talk about what was going on and maybe take back what she had just said she wanted to make Alex come again. So Nikita just kept fucking Alex nice and slow, making love to the younger girl as she trembled in her arms. That made Alex come a few more times, but it wasn't enough. Nikita felt like she needed to make Alex cum as hard as she could. And she knew just how to do that.

Grabbing one of Alex's legs Nikita pulled it up so she was lifting the other brunette's lower half slightly off the bed. This gave Nikita access to Alex's ass hole, the older woman briefly collecting some of the cum and pussy juice escaping from her young lover so she could use it as natural lubricant for Alex's tight little rosebud. Those things only took Nikita roughly a second or two but once she had a finger against Alex's butt hole she slowed down considerably, the more experienced spy taking her time in pushing into her protégé's most private hole and then beginning to pump that digit in and out with the same gentleness Nikita was continuously using on Alex's cunt.

Alex immediately guessed what Nikita was doing before the finger came into contact with her back hole, and when it did Alex whimpered, "Yes, mmmmm, take me there! Take me! Take every part of me! Ohhhhhhhh Goddddddd, every part of me is yours Nikita, mmmmmm, remind me why!"

Those words made it harder for Nikita to maintain her gentle and slow pace. Of course she had succeeded in far more challenging tasks, and while she had recently failed Alex this was one task she was determined to succeed at. Or at least succeed for as long as possible. So Nikita took both Alex's holes slowly and gently until she had made the girl cum twice more, the first time as a result of adding another finger and the second a result of twisting those fingers inside Alex's ass. Then Nikita placed Alex's legs onto her shoulders again, pulled out her fingers and strap-on from the younger spy's holes and quickly pushed the very wet dildo into the slightly loosened butt hole of Alexandria Udinov.

From the way Alex's eyelids fluttered closed Nikita could tell her protégé approved, the deadly assassin smiling wickedly as she slowly filled up the younger girl's back passage with rubber cock, Alex's anal walls no match for the might of Nikita. Perhaps a little sooner than was normally advisable Nikita started pumping in and out of Alex's tightest hole, the friction exquisite for the older spy who had already cum once thanks to the stimulation on her clit and the sheer joy of fucking Alexandria Udinov. Not that it seemed to compare to the pleasure the younger woman was receiving, Alex whimpering, moaning and crying out in pleasure as Nikita took her ass and made it hers.

Of course in Alex's mind it was hers. She owed Nikita everything so it seemed only right that every part of her was Nikita's to users she saw fit. Alex truly believed that, as perverted and/or wrong as it might be, that thought only enhancing Alex's enjoyment of the anal sex. That was why nothing made Alex cum harder than when Nikita butt fucked her. It was Alex surrendering the most private, forbidden part of herself to Nikita in a way which brought them both pleasure. Sick, twisted, perverted pleasure which neither of them could seem to get enough of.

Very quickly Alex's well trained rectum completely relaxed to accommodate the large invader thrusting into the very deepest depths of her body, slight pain and uncomfortable stretching giving way to pleasure and then mind-numbing orgasms as Nikita continued her slow, rhythmic pumping. Then suddenly Nikita lowered herself down so she was again bending Alex in half, the young Russian briefly excited as she thought she was about to be pounded hard, something her ass was now very much craving. Then she briefly worried Nikita would yell abuse at her again, but that was quickly forgotten when she saw the look on the older woman's face.

Alex was used to seeing Nikita strong, powerful, in control. Most of the time the deadly assassin knew just what to say or do, but now Nikita looked so unsure of herself. Like she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how. Alex hoped that thing was Nikita telling her that she loved her again, that a few moments ago she hadn't been delirious from pleasure and her mentor really had said those words.

She didn't, but she said something almost as good, Nikita gently cupping Alex's face with one hand and whispering, "Tell me... tell me your mine."

Not even thinking of hesitating Alex replied, "I'm yours! All yours! Every part of me is yours! My ass is yours! My pussy is yours! My mouth is yours! My heart, mind, body, and soul is yours! Мой рот, моя киска, моя задница, все твое! Мое сердце, мой разум, мое тело, моя душа, все твое! Я принадлежу тебе! I belong to you! I love you! I love you so fucking much! I'm yours! Я твоя любовь моя! I'm your fucking property! You own me! Every single part of me! I'm all yours! Я весь твой! Я весь твой!"

Her words dissolved into Russian and then incoherent jargon as Nikita finally gave up on slow and gentle, the feared assassin increasing the pace until she was slamming her strap-on in and out of Alex's ass hole at what felt like lightning speed. Yet somehow it wasn't quite as rough as usual. Not as violent or angry, and the way Nikita looked at her was different. It all felt so different. Even the mind destroying climaxes, Alex unable to comprehend what was happening to her as she first became lost in the pleasure of the butt sex then finally slipped into unconsciousness.

When Alex awoke she wasn't sure where she was or what had happened. All she knew was that her butt hurt and she was resting weight on it. To lessen the pain she rolled over onto her side, and found herself facing Nikita who was lying on her back looking up at the ceiling. As memories flooded back to her Alex smiled lazily, her body shuddering with after-shocks of her orgasms and/or at the images flashing through her head.

Instinctively Alex moved down Nikita's body and took the dildo which had just been in her ass into her mouth, the young spy gently but eagerly sucking on that fake cock like her sensei had taught her. Originally this had been something Nikita had probably made Alex do to try and stop the younger girl from loving her, but it was also something which seemed the older woman liked, probably because it allowed her to revel in her dominance. That it pleased Nikita would have been enough for Alex but the Russian girl had grown to love this perverted act. She loved the way it showed her submission to Nikita, that she'd do anything for her. Anything. She had even grown to love the taste of her own butt, Alex taking the entire length with practiced ease so she could get all of her own juices.

For a while Alex just concentrated on bobbing her head lazily on the man-made dick, then her groggy mind was suddenly electrocuted with the memory of Nikita finally telling her she loved her. Suddenly wide-awake Alex looked up at her mentor who was still laying motionlessly, an extremely subtle breathing in and out the only indication that Nikita was still with her.

Quickly finishing the blow job Alex crawled up Nikita's body to find the older woman still staring up at the ceiling, the two spies not speaking a word to each other for several long moments as neither of them was sure what to say.

Then finally Nikita whispered, "I'm sorry Alex."

Alex smiled softly and once again said, "It's ok. I, I get it. You didn't have a choice."

"No, not that..." Nikita said, looking away as she struggled to find the words, "Well, yes that to, but... I..."

Kind of scared Nikita was going to reveal something equally as heart-breaking as before Alex offered, "It's fine, you don't have to tell me."

"No, I owe you the truth. The whole truth. And this time I'm going to give it to you." Nikita promised, still searching for the right words for a few seconds before winging it, "I love you Alex. I've loved you for a very long time. Maybe a little before you fell for me."

This unsurprisingly made Alex beam happily, Nikita allowing her a moment of happiness before continuing.

"But... I couldn't admit it to myself. I didn't want it to be true. Not after what happened with Daniel..." Nikita trailed off briefly, bittersweet memories and nightmares flashing before her eyes, "So I tried to keep you at arms length. Tried not to get attached. Tried to remind myself that your life expectancy was almost as non-existent as mine."

This caused the two spies to let out a small chuckle, both knowing how horrifyingly true that statement was. Then Alex said, "That's why I kept hitting on you, even after you rejected me. I figured that, thanks to you, I was living on borrowed time and I didn't want to waste a single second of it not being with you. Not when I was so sure you wanted me too... wow, now I've said it out loud it sounds really bad."

Both spies exchange another small laugh and then Nikita softly said, "It's ok. We're fucked up, remember? Besides, I know you wouldn't have kept it up if I hadn't kept sending you so many mixed signals."

"Like giving me a candlelit dinner one minute, and yelling abuse at me the next?" Alex smirked.

"Yeah, I... I wanted you to hate me." Nikita whispered, "I wanted you to hate me so bad."

"Why?" Alex asked.

"Because I'm not worthy of you. Not after lying to you, and manipulating you, and-" Nikita softly said, momentarily pausing to fight the tears, "And I was going to tell you I loved you tonight over dinner. Have one perfect night with you, and then tell you the whole truth in the morning. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to you anymore Alex. And, and I was so sure you were going to hate me when you found out the truth. And I wanted you too. After all I've done to you I deserve it. And... and I don't want to die, but if it brought you closure... stopped you from becoming me... it would be worth it. Besides, I liked the idea of you being the last thing I saw."

Alex cupped her mentor's face and then, with a tear running down her cheek to match the ones narrowing down Nikita's, softly said, "Oh Niki, I could never kill you."

Nikita smiled, "I know that. But... I kind of wish you would do it, because compared to the thought of losing you... God Alex when... when I thought I lost you I couldn't breathe. And if I ever lost you for real it would end me. Because as much as I loved Daniel he never truly knew me. He never saw my darkness. But somehow, you've seen the worst of me and, and you're still here. And I want you to know I'm done punishing you for that. I'm done trying to push you away. I'm done trying to make you hate me. I'm done trying to pretend I'm not in love with you."

"Good." Alex smiled, that smile turning into a smirk as she was unable to resist cheekily adding, "Because I've kind of grown fond of you."

Her tears forgotten Nikita raised an eyebrow and resisted the urge to give her lover a half smile, "Brat."

"You love me." Alex smiled, leaning down.

"God help me." Nikita got out before Alex's lips touched hers and they became lost in the gentle sign of affection.

Tomorrow they would talk more, strategise, worry about their future, or lack thereof, and probably many other things. But, for at least one night, Nikita truly accepted the happiness which Alex gave her. It didn't matter that she didn't deserve it, Nikita just enjoyed the feeling of Alexandria Udinov, the girl she loved, in her arms, the two spies snuggling up after their little make out session and falling asleep feeling safe, wanted and loved.