Having a Laugh

"I'm not even slightly hard, mate," I told him. "My knob's died and gone to heaven."

It had gone soft as soon pretty much as I'd pulled the back of my pants down. Offering my fudge tunnel to another lad's shiny bell-end isn't something I find that sexy, funnily enough.

He didn't seem to care. "Well, just think nice thoughts and pretend you're enjoying it. Try to make it look as convincing as you can. It'll be funnier that way."

He pushed his knob against my hole and even though it was so big, its slipperiness made it slide in a bit. Like he'd done with me, I tried to relax my bum enough to take it and every time it thrust between my butt-cheeks, it squeezed a bit further up my chute.

It felt enormous inside me and I had to pretend like I was taking a dump to make my arse open wide enough to take the thing up me.

"Aah, that feels well tight... even better than a minge," he muttered as it went in another half inch. And again I wasn't sure if he was just acting for the camera or if he meant it.

He started fucking me slowly like he probably did with girls, his cock slowly working further into my bumhole every time he bucked his hips towards me.

"I see what you mean about the smell, Jordan," he said. "It really fucking stinks once you get started."

I sniffed the air and could smell it myself: the whiff of my own arse, quite different from his. His was a bit like dirty, sweaty underwear; mine was much meatier, more crude and pungent.

It would never have occurred to me that him shoving it up me would smell different from me doing it to him, but now that it had I found I quite liked it. I could feel my cock growing between my legs as I sniffed more and more that distinctive odour of my own butt being fucked.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and started pumping his knob faster. I could tell that, just as I had, he liked the stink of another lad's arse being buggered.

"Jesus Christ, that smell!" he gasped, inhaling it deeply. "It's so fucking hot!"

He made a really strong lunge and got the whole shaft of his fat cock all the way up inside me. His hairy nuts were tickling my arse-cheeks, slapping against them every time he thrust back and forth.

"And this is with us just pretending, Jordan! Imagine how rough it would stink if we were doing it for real!"

I smiled towards his carpet, feeling my own dick growing steadily harder. Did he really think it would be that different if we were doing it as two gay guys?

He grabbed me by the hips again and started butt-fucking me fast and hard, standing behind me whacking his hips against mine.

"I need to wank off, mate," I told him urgently. Being bent over like I was, I couldn't do it like I wanted to.

"Yeah, say more stuff like that, Jordan!" he whispered. "Act it up for the camera!"

"I'm not acting up!" I grunted. "My cock's gone proper hard again!"

I don't know why, but being bent over like that and feeling another fella's massive schlong ramming in and out of my bum had really got me really horny. My cock was feeling full-on boned, straining and pulsating with the veins sticking up in knots the way that girls say creeps them out.

Reece pulled me up so that my back was against his chest and reached down and started beating at my shaft while his own rammed in and out of me.

I grunted my thanks: Jeez, having him wank me off felt so fucking good!

I could suddenly smell Reece's own distinct butt stink really strongly again; it took me a few seconds to work out why. It was on my dick as he was jerking my foreskin up and down; smeared over my cock head and streaked down the shaft.

His whole room must stink of our arses: his on my cock as he tossed me off; mine being ploughed roughly by his.

He turned to the camera and said, half-laughing half-panting, "Come on, Jordan, let's really put on a fucking show! Make the guys think we're a couple of honest-to-god bum-drillers!"

We both turned to face it, grinning at the flashing red light. I pushed my arse backwards, so that they'd see Reece's cock pumping away between my cheeks, and then thrust my hips forwards so that they'd see my big veiny cock being wanked off and the mess on Reece's hand would tell them where it had been.

I laughed at the sight we'd make and how hot it would be to have all these other blokes gathered round watching me getting shagged up my brown ring. The funniest part was that I really liked it. Who'd have thought I'd enjoy having another fella up me?!

But then my laughter died away as my bollocks gave their five second warning.

"I'm gonna fucking cum, Reece! Jeez, I'm gonna shoot!"

He kept pounding my cock, chuckling and grunting, as I found myself whimpering through one of the strongest nut-offs I've ever felt. I'd heard guys say it's good to spunk up with something stuffed up your shitbox, but I'd never tried it and had no idea it would feel so good.

He kept banging away at my arse with my cum squirting over my chest and his hand. And then I felt a burning hot feeling inside my guts and I kind of dimly figured he was also blowing his wad.

After he'd pulled out of me with a fart even sloppier than his and we were standing with our stinking, slimy cocks starting to droop down, he grabbed the camera and we looked at the video.

He laughed at the part where he was working his dick up my butt and said, "They're gonna totally think this is the real deal, Jordan! We're gonna have them over a barrel - hook, line and sinker!"

"And you're absolutely sure they're not gonna think it is the real deal, mate?" I asked.

He looked at me like I'd insulted him.

I went on, "I mean, won't they say we were actually butt-fucking each other? Isn't that what we were doing?"

"Fuck me, Jordan! Of course they fucking won't! Don't go saying shit like that!"

"But our dicks were up each other's arses, mate. We both spunked off."

"Oh, come on, you knob-head. I keep telling you, it doesn't mean diddly fuck 'cause we're not gay!"

"Is that how it works then?"

"Of course it does! This was a just a joke. The guys'll be rolling on the floor when they see the two of us doing this shit. I can guarantee it."

I wondered if that was true; whether our friends really would see it like Reece did. Maybe they would. Maybe I was the only one who was making more of this than I should.

Still, the thought of showing them the video suddenly seemed like a stupid thing to do. Reece might think it was only the two of us having a laugh, but I could see the rest of our mates thinking we'd taken the joke way too far. I didn't think they'd find it funny; I thought they'd be like, "What the fuck?!"

I grabbed the phone off him and was about to delete the video when he said, "Tell you what, Jordan. Get it on your PC and cut it down to like five or ten seconds or something. And make it darker so they can't see that much detail. Just a few seconds of grainy footage - enough to get them interested and wanting to figure out what we was up to. You can do that can't you?"

I smiled. That wasn't a bad idea. I knew enough about Movie Maker to take out all the dodgy stuff and strip the audio off it altogether. Leave just enough to get them guessing. Have them pausing it and trying to figure out what the fuck we'd really been up to.

Except that when Reece showed the lads the video in the pub that weekend, I realised that what had looked dim and blurred on my monitor at home looked like it had been floodlit from all sides when it was playing his phone.

Must have been the fucking codec or some such shit. Never could understand that kind of stuff.

Our mates gathered round, stunned at what they were seeing.

Oh Jeez, even from where I was sitting I could see Reece's fat cock slamming in and of my arse.

When the clip finished playing, our mate Dan spoke up first. His face looked shocked and he looked straight at me.

"Fucking hell, Jordan. I had no idea..."

"Look, I... er... we were just... you know... messing around..."

Dan ignored me. "I mean, I knew you were good at editing movies and shit, but fuck me - this is the nuts. It's like totally convincing."

Reece grinned. "Yeah - even had me fooled."

Tomo said, "How d'ya do it, then? Stick you guys' heads on a gay porno or something?"

Flanners laughed over from the next table. "Oh yeah, I saw someone do that with 'Silence of the Lambs' during the World Cup. Stuck Louis Suarez' head on Hannibal Lecter's body!"

The other guys watched the film again, pointing out the bits where they thought our heads didn't quite match up with the bodies and Tomo laughed that there was no way Reece's cock was as big as the guy in the movie.

While they were pausing it over and over, trying to spot a glitch, Callum - who's usually the quiet one of our group - leaned over to me and said, "That's some pretty impressive editing, Jordan. What did you use, Photoshop?"

I agreed without thinking but then wished I hadn't. Something about the way he stared at me told me he knew you couldn't use Photoshop on videos.

Later on, as the phone was being passed about and the video shared between guys we didn't even know, Callum muttered to me and Reece: "You guys really need to make another movie like that, but next time you should take it a step further. Do some stuff that's even more hardcore and really get everyone talking."

"How do you get more hardcore than pretending like he was bodging my arse?" I chuckled.

"Maybe do a gay threesome," he smirked. "I could help you guys out, if you want to give it a go."

Reece nodded wide-eyed and you could tell he was well up for it.

Callum went on, more quietly, "We could film us pretending like we were shagging, three fellas in a row. Or you two could be going at it, the same cock and bum stuff, and I could be out front pretending to suck the front one off. Or even behind licking the back one's arse. You reckon you could edit all that into a movie? Using... what was it again? Photoshop...?"

I smiled at him, admiring his style. "I reckon I could, yeah."

He grinned more broadly at us both. "Should we do it tomorrow, maybe? Just, you know, the three of us having a laugh...?"

Reece and I nodded back at him like kids being offered sweets.

"Fuck yeah!" we said together.