Heatstroked

By the time I'd finished my dry exercises, the constant stars and fickle moon were my only light. The crushing heat of the day had faded somewhat, but I was still covered in a slick sheen of sweat. It was a good sweat, though. A clean sweat. I didn't hesitate to dive off into the crisp clear water. I scooped up my lifeless swimming buddy off the bottom where he'd rested most of the day and set to work.

My results from the day before were right. I'd definitely lost some of my endurance. I pushed myself to the very limit, too soon reached. Perhaps I even pushed a little further than I should have without someone else there. I had to drop Gary and let him fall back to the bottom and coughed up water after the point I probably should have stopped.

My arms and legs ached too much to swim to the edge, so I rolled on my back and floated. I looked up at the stars and thought. Maybe Dad had been right after all. Maybe I should have gone to work with him for the summer. Maybe I should have made plans for college.

But, other than whatever was going on with Becki, this was what I wanted to do. This pool was the only place I'd ever been truly happy. Even the summer I'd spent with David instead of Becki had been great. What was so wrong with being happy?

On the other hand, I wasn't making any money. Neither were Willard and Eunice. For two whole days I hadn't seen anyone come out to use either the course or the pool. And Eunice had said it had been going on much longer. How would Willard and Eunice have enough to eat over the winter and feed Becki much less me? Was feeding me this summer going to make the winter even harder for them?

Honesty compelled me to admit as much as I enjoyed the pool and as big a part of my life as it seemed, the truth was I was there for Becki. If it hadn't been for her, I would have nodded and gone along with Dad. I wouldn't have enjoyed it, but I would have done it. And I was beginning to suspect that was what being an adult really was, doing what you didn't enjoy most of the time so you and the people you cared about could be taken care of and occasionally do something fun. Like swim all summer.

I flipped over and swam for the ladder, still wrestling with my thoughts.

I had promised I would cover for Becki until she was ready to take over as lifeguard again, but she didn't seem inclined for some reason. David had left in August, just two weeks early. Maybe I should think about doing the same. I'd heard about a new Rescue Swimmer program with the Coast Guard. I didn't know much about it, but it sounded like being a lifeguard year round. Maybe I could check into that.

I'd stripped my swimsuit off and was toweling dry when I heard a sound I didn't recognize. I straightened and looked around, still naked as the day I was born. I didn't see anything in the moonlit shadows and didn't hear the sound again. I shrugged and went back to drying myself when I heard it a second time, right beside me!

I yelped and scrambled into my shorts as the shadows moved on the other side of the fence. Who the hell would be all the way out there?

I was backing away from the fence with my pulse pounding in my ears when I heard the screen door open and shut. I sighed with relief. Willard or Eunice was just checking something. I was pretty sure they couldn't have seen me through the fence. But, maybe I should start being a little more careful when I changed my clothes just in case.

--03Jun87--

The next morning, I knew what to expect as I'd walked the course with Willard the evening before and he'd pointed out what we would need to fix.

"Why go to all this trouble?"

"Eh?"

"Well, the grasses you use aren't native." I said, frowning. "I'm sure trying to keep it watered chews up a big chunk of your operating budget. I'm just wondering why not make a native course to cut down on the upkeep."

"Son," Willard snorted, "don't no one want to play in one big sand trap dotted with mesquite trees, a few yucca plants, and some yellow prairie grass."

"Why not?"

"What do ya mean, why not?"

"Well, I don't really know much about golf," I said. "I mean, I've played miniature golf a couple of times."

"Miniature golf ain't golf, son." Willard spat off to one side and shook his head in disgust.

"No, I know. What I mean is, I don't understand why a golf course has to look this way, just like every other golf course. Three different kinds of grasses that don't do well without a lot of maintenance. Like the green around the hole. Why not just use Astroturf?"

"Oh, good Lord, boy!" Willard snorted. "Tell you what. You just leave me to running the place and do what I tell you. Astroturf. Good God."

That stung more than a little, but I could tell I wouldn't get anywhere by pushing him, so I changed the subject.

"What do you and Eunice do in the off-season?"

"Eh?"

"How else do you make money? Do you two have other jobs when the club is closed down or something? How do you pay for food in the winter?"

"Naw. Retired. This is all we do now. If business don't pick up, not sure how much longer we're going to do this. You sure are full of questions this morning. If you can talk this much, maybe I need to find more for you to do." Willard paused and peered at me, then glanced at the rising sun. "Or maybe it's about time you headed back to base while you still can, seeing how you got yesterday."

I hadn't been aware until Willard called my attention to it, but I was pretty warm and starting to sweat.

"Maybe I should. I'm sorry I can't help you finish up."

"Bah. Just don't make me have to carry you back and that's all the help I need."

"Yes, sir."

I wasn't in near as bad shape as I had been the day before when I made it back to the pro shop. Eunice glanced up as I came in. With the air conditioner blowing on me, cooling my sweat, I didn't feel as pressured to get in the pool and paused to talk to her.

"You're in a little better shape this morning than you were yesterday morning," Eunice smiled at me.

"Yeah, I feel bad I can't help out more though."

"Oh, you don't need to feel bad about that. Willard going out there and working on the course gives the old goat a reason to get up in the mornings. And it gets him out of my hair for a few hours so I don't take a frying pan or one of these golf clubs to his head."

"How did you two start doing this anyway? Willard said you retired to this?"

"Sure. Sure. Well, technically only Willard served his full twenty. I was pretty much forced out when I got pregnant with Becki's mother. I grew up over in Heckville and Willard didn't have strong ties anywhere, so when he got out we came back here and decided to build this place."

"So, this is all you two do?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. What's on your mind, John?"

"I guess I'm just worried. I mean, without any customers, how will you get by?"

"Oh, lands sakes, child. Willard and I grew up in the twenties and thirties. We served against Hitler, Mussolini, and Tojo. We built this place with a twelve year old underfoot, and those were some lean times, let me tell you. It's going to take more than a slow year with his pension check to fall back on to finish us off."

"Oh." While interesting, the information I was getting from Eunice wasn't particularly helpful. Quite the opposite really. They had built the place after retiring from the Army. They had a pension to help them out. And they really didn't need, nor did it sound like they could afford, for me to work for them year around. "Oh, by the way, what was going on last night?"

"With Becki over supper?" Eunice asked. "I'm still not sure. She slept in this morning and I didn't have a chance to talk to her."

"Huh?" I recalled Becki's behavior at dinner. "Oh, no. Sorry. I meant after sunset. After you and Willard went in, I guess one of you came back out to check on something?"

"Why, no John. When we said good night and went in, we got ready for bed and didn't come back out."

It was Becki? Becki had come outside for some reason?! But, why?

"I guess I'd better go put my lifeguard hat on. Make sure the pool is clean and ready to use. That sort of thing."

"All right, John. I'll go up and talk to Becki when Willard gets in. See if I can't straighten this mess out."

"Don't worry about it, Eunice." I smiled. "We'll work it out, I'm sure. Thank you, though."

"Oh?" Eunice peered at me over the rims of her glasses for a long moment. "All right then. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." I rapped my knuckles twice on the counter and headed off to change.

The clothes I had worn into the shower were still on the clothesline out behind the house. After a quick clean up and change, I headed back to switch today's clothes for them. In my peripheral vision I caught movement in the kitchen window and carefully didn't look. Maybe it was just a reflection. But, I couldn't help but smile as I thought maybe, just maybe, Becki was watching me.

As she had watched me last night?

The day passed the same as the previous two, meaning no customers. I spent more time in the pool, although I did finish cleaning up the pump room to store my belongings. I also investigated the back fence and figured out that not only were there a couple of knotholes, but I could see pretty well through the cracks between the planks if I pressed my eye to it. Once I discovered how easily I could see through the fence if I tried, I pretended to ignore it, going so far as to not even look that direction, focusing on my workout.

I tried to think like I imagined David would, self-critiquing my performance. It was more difficult without someone watching me to see what I was doing wrong, but I think I did all right. Although I may have pushed myself harder than was wise once more. God knows I was sore when I walked the course with Willard after closing.

"Why do you do that to yourself if you know it's going to make it hard to walk?" Willard asked as I limped along beside him.

"You hired me to be a lifeguard." I shrugged. "I owe it to you to be ready in case anyone comes."

"You reckon you could have saved anybody that last half hour?" Willard snorted.

"You may have a point." I conceded. "Maybe I should save my workouts for after the pool is closed."

Willard didn't say anything else. He didn't have to. When he spat off to one side and snorted again, it said everything needed.

The list of chores for the morning made, we went inside and sat down to dinner. Becki's place was empty.

"She's not feeling well," Eunice said to my look of inquiry.

Well, what fresh hell was this? I was pretty sure Becki had been peeping at me the night before. I was almost certain I'd caught her watching me at the clothesline. And I thought maybe she might have come out to peer through the fence at me while I swam. But, now she wouldn't even come out of her room and eat with us? One step forward and two steps back.

"No snack," Willard said with a scowl.

"I know that, you old buzzard. I was the one that made that rule with her mama."

"Just see you remember."

Willard mumbled a prayer and the three of us demolished our plates. Willard and Eunice didn't have a television in their home, although they had one in the pro shop mounted near the ceiling in one corner. None of us seemed to have much to say either. We all knew already how the other two's day had gone.

When we were done, I helped do the dishes over Eunice's objections. Willard and Eunice went out on the porch to watch the sunset. I limped around to the door of the pro shop and was glad for the first time they'd given me a key since I wasn't sure I could have climbed over the fence to save my life. Walking those extra steps seemed more than a fair trade. Just tossing my sleeping bag and book up on the raised platform and climbing the ladder was hard enough.

I stretched out on my sleeping bag on my stomach and pretended to read and watch the sunset, but I was really more intent on the window beside Eunice. I was certain I saw the curtains flick three times at least while I waited for the sun to go down.

Once again, when the sun was behind the horizon, while the sky was still painted deep umber and purple, Willard and Eunice said good night and went inside. Well, Eunice said it. Willard just grunted, but I figured the meaning was the same.

"I must be crazy. I must be crazy. I must be crazy." I chanted to myself as I stood and peeled my t-shirt over my head. "God, if Willard or Eunice comes back out, they'll kill me. Or at least fire me and kick me out. Jesus, she's probably not even watching me."

I went through my dry exercises to give Willard and Eunice time to be in bed, and for my nerves to stop acting up. The exercises were tough because I was so sore, but I pushed through the ache.

"It's now or never, John," I told myself. "If you chicken out now, you'll never do it. Oh, hell."

I quickly skinned out of my shorts to stand completely naked on the raised platform for anyone who happened to be looking to see. Then I dove in the pool.

"Fuck, this is stupid," I said softly as I surfaced. "This is really fucking stupid, John."

I quieted as I thought I heard the screen door creak. I strained to listen and thought I could make out the sound of Becki's cane, a click-thump, stepping down off the porch. No way that worked! But, I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I imagined I might have an audience of one.

If I did have the audience I wanted, I couldn't very well just tread water. There was no way I was up to anything vigorous, so I set out for the shallow end, away from the house, in a leisurely crawl stroke with my bare ass pointing up at the moon and stars. I had to fight down a giggle at the idea of mooning the moon.

When I touched the shallow end, I flipped into an equally leisurely backstroke, my dick trailing a wake like a dorsal fin. Oddly, the idea of Becki maybe seeing me like that counteracted the usual effect of the cold water. I wasn't fully erect, but I was visibly hard. At least visible to my eyes. I wasn't sure Becki could see me clearly from the fence, assuming she was actually there.

I made two more laps that way, crawl stroke to the shallows, then backstroke to the deep end. My overtaxed muscles let me know I'd done enough. I stopped and just let myself float on my back looking up at the moon and stars.

"I love you, Becki," I said. "I miss you."

Losing so much weight and trading fat for muscle had made me float lower in the water. Low enough my ears weren't completely or even partially clear. I tilted my head slightly the direction of the house and cleared my ear enough I thought I heard the screen door creak again.

Assuming I hadn't imagined the whole thing, I guessed the show was over. I swam to the edge and dried off with my towel. I started to grab my shorts from the ground before I climbed the ladder, but decided if I was in for a penny, I would take the pound. I climbed the ladder still stark naked, found my shorts, and pulled them on as I stood there facing Becki's window.

It was too dark to be certain, but I thought I saw her curtain twitch as I laid down.

--04Jun87--

When Willard woke me in the morning, I took my ritual plunge into the pool to wake up and started another day.

Jan was waiting in the pro shop when I came walking back from helping Willard out on the course.

My family had never been big on physical affection, unless you count corporal punishment which my parents said they did out of love. I was beyond startled when Jan walked over and threw her arms around me. With her hair dyed red, it was like hugging, or being hugged by, a matchstick.

"Jan? What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you, idiot. Eunice tells me you're living at the pool. Literally."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Why don't the two of you go on back to the social room?" Eunice asked. "That way you won't be interrupted if we get a customer."

I snorted as I glanced over at Eunice. Her eyes twinkled and she winked at me.

"Come on, Sis."

I led the way back to the big social room. The last time I'd sat in those seats, Eunice had broken the news to me about Becki. Perhaps unconsciously, I made my way to the same seats Eunice and I'd shared.

"So, what's up?" I asked once we were settled.

"You tell me," Jan said. "I got a call from Mom that she and Dad are separated and that you'd disappeared and for all she knew you were on your way to California on your motorcycle."

"I might have been, but Becki's here."

"I know that, cretin. Last night I read the letters you left in your desk. So, why don't you look happier?"

"Something's wrong." I shook my head. "I don't know what. Every time I see Becki, she just gets madder. Don't worry about it. It will either work out or it won't. So, what's this about Mom and Dad splitting up? Are they getting a divorce or something?"

"Who knows?" Jan shrugged. "That's kind of the whole point of a separation. To see if they can get along without each other. I kind of hope they do. They'll both be happier. So, where is the inspiration for David Lee Roth's remake of the Beach Boys' song anyway?"

"She pretty much stays in the house, I guess. I've only seen her about three times for just a few minutes each."

"Well, that sucks. Have you tried going to the house?"

"I eat supper with Willard and Eunice there. Becki hid in her room last night. I don't know. I feel kind of like I have her trapped. Like she can't get away, really. I don't want to push it too hard."

"You're a good kid, little bro." Jan patted my knee. "So, are you going home?"

"I don't know. Do you think I should?"

"I think you have to decide that for yourself. I'm leaving in the morning to head back to Odessa."

"Odessa? Since when do you live in Odessa?"

"Since April. Did Mom not tell you? Or did you not pay attention when she did?"

"No one except you ever tells me anything," I grumbled. "And then they blame me for not figuring it out and claim I forgot. So, you're going to be there tonight? Is Dad?"

"No. He's staying in Plainview."

"I'll have to double check with Willard and Eunice. But, maybe I can at least come in and visit for a bit."

Willard was in the pro shop when we passed through.

"Good." Willard said when I mentioned visiting with Mom and Jan that evening. "Stay the night. Maybe I can get some work done in the morning without you underfoot. In fact, stay as long as you want."

Eunice smacked him with her magazine.

The rest of the day went the same. No sign of any guests. No sign of Becki. Although, in the latter case I thought I heard the screen door a couple of times while I was in the pool. But, I could have just been imagining it.

Supper with Mom and Jan was weird. We didn't turn the television on, the first time in a decade and a half I could remember it not being on while anyone was awake. Instead, we talked. Totally weird.

"I really don't know, Mom," I admitted when she asked about my long range plans. "I was thinking about checking into the Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer Training Program. The one thing I do know is I don't want to jump into college and waste money on classes without some idea what I might want to do."

"That's your father talking," Mom said. "College is supposed to help you figure out what you want to do. I didn't have the first idea I might want to be a lawyer until I was almost done with my undergraduate. And despite what your father says, he changed his major twice."

"I'll think about it," I said. "But, I'm learning a lot with Willard and Eunice. And it's more interesting to me than anything else I know of. Isn't that important too? Being interested in what you're going to do with your life?"

"Yes, it is," Jan interrupted before Mom could respond. "It's way more important than making lots of money."

"As long as you can survive while you do it," Mom said. "Keeping a roof over your head and food in the pantry costs money. And when you have a family to take care of, it costs more than when it's just you."