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Click here"Come Suzie dear, let's take a walk, just out there upon the beach." He said, and kissed her again.
"Okay. Let's walk, then." She answered in a whisper, giving in.
Nah....
This story is way too dark. Couldn't read half of the first page. I'll pass.
First, being a 'Nam Vet' I wondered how this thug would get to Mic. I am retired, but remember my combat training to this day. But, it's your story so I will let that go. Your story is well written, but get a Lit Volunteer Editor or beta reader, since I found errors that should not have been. It did slow the story down a littke for me but not enough to quit reading a very good story. You pieced it together well and I think that you know family or someone who has lost to tragedies like this.
Thank you for writing. What a great story, and as another reader said, Im wondering what white hallway means. Keep up the good work, keep on writing.
And because it was so well written and had me questioning what on earth "white hallway" was, it gets a 5/5.