He's Just a Friend

"Is there a chance you're pregnant?"

"No!" Julie said, trying to look shocked.

I sat next to her on the sofa but there was a small distance between us, one that would never usually be there. Dating for three years since we were sixteen, Julie and I hadn't the chance to be with anyone else. Unless we cheated. Julie had cheated.

I couldn't flat out get angry. I had once too. There was a girl at a dance I was with, out on the floor. There hadn't been much to it, just kissing mostly, but a dance floor is hardly discrete. I had decided to tell Julie myself, and it was lucky I did. At school on Monday the rumor had gotten around.

But that was ages ago, back in high school. This was different. Julie had just kissed a guy who had been trying to wrest her away from me for years. "Nat's just a friend. You need to trust me."

How many times had I heard that?

I knew. I knew what he was up to. Chip away, chip away. By being a good friend, he had plenty of opportunity to grow on her.

"You're not pregnant?" I asked again.

"Of course not, how could I be pregnant? It was just a kiss!"

"Just a kiss?"

I was not surprised when she countered, "You did it!"

"That was years ago."

"You still did it."

The conversation stopped and we both sat brooding.

********

Julie's phone rang on the floor next to her bed several times. Eventually it was easier to answer it than keep ignoring it.

"What?" she groaned, no idea who was on the other end.

"Is it true?"

It was Sally, a friend since high school.

"What?" Julie growled.

"You and Nat?"

"What?" Julie asked in a different tone.

"I heard you hooked up with Nat at Billy's barbecue."

"Don't be silly. Fuck off. I'm sleeping."

"It's after lunch."

"I don't care," Julie complained, eyes closed.

"So did you or didn't you?"

"What?" Julie was getting grumpy.

"Hook up with Nat."

"Of course not. Don't be stupid. Go away. I'm going back to sleep."

Julie hung up and rolled back under the quilt. After a few minutes her eyes opened wide and she sat bolt upright.

"Shit!"

She scanned then searched the room. Clothes were dumped across the floor; she pulled her jeans inside out. What she was looking for wasn't there.

"Shit!"

No panties.

********

Julie had finished her exams before her boyfriend Cyril. Almost everyone did, his med school was on a different level of intensity (or insanity?). She had gone to Billy's party in a playful mood. Lots of her girlfriends were there. They screamed, they danced, they drank. Boys came in to try and pick off the ones they could from the edge of the group. For a time the girls held steadfastly together. Boys are like sharks, though. They have patience and determination when they smell food. Once the pack was split, defenses crumbled. One by one Julie's comrades fell into the clutches of a guy (or guys). In the end only she was left. Most people knew Julie was in a long-term relationship, so they either respected it, or knew it was too hard to break. Julie and Cyril were famous for their loyalty.

"Hi beautiful."

Julie turned to see a stranger holding a beer for her. He was handsome, but not entirely cute.

"Who are you, do I know you?" Julie asked teasingly.

"I'm Rocket."

"Rocket?"

"Yes. Rocket. Don't look now but there's a guy over there that said I had zero chance of picking you up. Less than zero. Hell freezes type zero."

"Who said that?"

"Don't look!"

Julie saw enough to know he meant Nat. Typical prank from him.

"So...," the guy begged, "can you help me? You don't have to like me...just help me to not look silly. Pretend you're speaking with me a few minutes? Pretend like I'm interesting. Will you help?"

Julie looked at his face. He seemed sincere, and she'd had enough to drink to play along. She reached out to touch his arm and laugh heartily.

"Oh, you're so witty!" Julie yelled out.

The guy jumped at the touch, surprised at Julie's outburst.

"Sorry," she whispered. "Too much?"

"No. No. Not at all. Just...wasn't ready. Go on!"

Julie laughed, and held him by the bicep, squeezing. She asked him if he knew the recipe for Thousand Island dressing. She asked whether guys really liked girls who liked it in the ass, and what he thought about North Korea, all to give the appearance from across the garden she was chatting happily. When she spun him around to check out his butt, then returned the favor, Nat couldn't watch. Julie saw him disappear back inside.

"That does it," Julie said. "He's gone. You have your victory."

"Ha! Thanks for that. Really appreciate your help."

"You're welcome."

"Can I ask a question?"

"No, I don't take it in the ass," Julie preempted, laughing.

"No, no, nothing like that. I was wondering if you know that guy. You must, right? Why did he say what he did?"

"Say what?"

"That I had no chance to pick you up. That no one did. Why is that?"

"I'm gay," Julie teased.

Rocket frowned at her. "No. I've got friends, girls like that. You're not like them."

"Hmmm, you need a different reason? Okay. I'm obsessively self-conscious about my body."

Rocket looked her up and down.

"Which part?" he said with a disbelieving look on his face.

"I'm skinny."

"You're not skinny. You're just not fat."

"My ass is too small."

"Ha! Squeezed in those jeans looks pretty hot to me."

"My blonde is dirty," Julie continued, fingering her long hair.

"It's beach-chic cool," he countered.

"My nose is too cute."

Rocket laughed out loud at that. "Yes, I agree with that one."

"Brown eyes with this hair is weird."

"Your eyes are gorgeous, you know that, don't be silly."

"My breasts are too small."

"Is your bra padded?"

"No."

"Then you're more than a mouthful."

"Is that a compliment?" Julie asked, hitting his arm. "Am I meant to be happy with that measuring scale?"

"Sorry," Rocket grinned. "But you are perfectly shaped and stunning looking...hot as...hot as...how vulgar do you want?"

"Try me," she dared.

"You gave me a boner," Rocket said, turning and pointing to the other end of the garden, "from over there."

Julie laughed, thankfully.

"So it's not self-consciousness. You had a bad experience? Coming off a love disaster?"

"It's not that interesting at all. I have a boyfriend."

"A serious one?"

"Almost three years."

"Wow. Wow, that means..." Rocket said, and then stopped.

"What? That means what?" Julie insisted.

"You know..."

"I know what?" Julie asked, puzzled.

"Only him. You've only ever been with him."

"Oh. That." Julie finished the beer. Politely Rocket took the bottle back. "We did it a lot though. I'm not...like a, you know, I'm not some kid, I'm experienced. Oh shit. That sounds awful. I'm sorry."

"Never cheated?"

"No."

"That explains it then. No picking you up."

"I could introduce you...to some..."

"Desperates?" Rocker laughed.

"Don't call them that! But, yes, kinda like that."

"It's okay. No need. Thank you for sharing a drink with me."

It seemed a fitting time to end.

"You are welcome."

********

"He wore a condom?" I asked calmly.

"No!"

"He didn't wear a condom?"

"No! You know what I mean."

"So where did he cum?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"If he didn't cum into a condom, and didn't cum into you...where did he put it?"

"Who said he...came? Why do you have to think that?"

I looked at her and frowned.

"How much clothes did you take off?"

"I didn't...not really."

"Were you entirely naked?"

"I wasn't."

"He's not going to just kiss you and not take your clothes off. Right?"

"I wasn't naked," Julie said sheepishly.

"He took your panties off?"

"No! My underwear stayed on!"

I looked at Julie disbelievingly.

"I was dressed. I swear," she said sadly.

"What did he do then? He's not going to just kiss you. This is not high school any more. Are you pregnant?" I asked again.

Julie was feeling attacked.

"It wasn't what you think. We just fooled around."

I took a breath. Julie had said it was a mistake. She had said she loved me. She had said she wanted to stay together. But I had to know what happened. I wouldn't be able to stop wondering what that guy had done to my girl.

"How many fingers did he get in you?"

"I don't know!" Julie snapped. "How can I tell that?!"

I looked at her as she realized what she said.

"Cyril, it's not...it didn't mean anything. I was drunk. It was a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She started crying. I moved and knelt on the floor in front of her.

"Julie. Baby. I gotta know. He undressed you?"

The crying became harder.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"He took your clothes off?"

"Only...some."

"What? What did he take off?"

Tears streamed Julie's face.

"My jeans."

"And your pants?"

"No! My pants stayed on, I swear to you."

"Your shirt? Your bra?"

"I swear. Only my jeans."

"He kissed you, he took your jeans off...and that's it? Come on. He's a guy that's been after you forever. No way he's going to stop with that. Your tits. Or fucking you. Why would he take your jeans off and not fuck you? It doesn't make sense Julie."

"It's true. It's what happened."

Somehow I believed her. Julie had never been good at lying.

"He fingered you?"

Julie nodded.

"Yes. He...put his hand in...my...his fingers, nothing else," Julie was crying heavily again. "I'm so sorry."

"Fuck."

********

As soon as she realized it wasn't a dream, that her underwear really was missing, that the clothes on her bedroom floor were partly borrowed, Julie forced herself to fight through the tiredness and hangover and get to a doctor.

Anti-biotics and a morning-after pill. Embarrassing as hell but necessary. By the time she had sat confessing to Cyril, it was true to say she couldn't be pregnant.

********

"Talk me through it," I told her gently but firmly.

"Do we have to? It doesn't matter," Julie whined.

"Do you want to stay together?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to be able to get this out of my mind? Kill off the curiosity? Forgive and actually forget?"

Julie sighed.

"Yes."

"Then I need to know play by play what happened. Don't leave anything out."

********

Julie got my permission to go to the bathroom and clean up before she started. At her request I poured her a large brandy and coke, with not much coke.

"Everyone was there. All the girls. We were drinking and dancing. It was fun, you know. But they all left me there eventually. Boyfriends. Or picked up. You know those girls. I was kind of left with some people I didn't know. I wasn't talking much, I didn't know them and they're all friends. So I got kind of drunk. I don't know what time, the bathroom out back was such a line. I went up the stairs and found one. When I came out...he was there. In the hall up there. He kind of blocked me. We were talking but I couldn't stand very well. He held me. Then we just kissed. I didn't mean to I swear. I didn't do anything."

"No fucking way did he undress you in a hallway."

"There was a door. He opened it. It was like a spare bedroom."

"Fuck," I groaned.

"Please can we stop?" Julie begged.

"Tell me."

She sighed, looking up and left at the roof, eyes red.

"No lights, just light through the window."

Julie took a big drink.

"And?"

"We were on the bed. Just kissing. I was drunk, you know."

"How did your pants come off?"

"He undid them. I said no. I was almost asleep."

"What about his pants?"

"I don't know. On."

"Oh come on!" I growled.

"I'm telling the truth. He was kissing me and put his hands in there...but he was dressed."

"How long?"

"How long...was what? I didn't..."

"Not his cock! How long were you kissing?"

"I don't know," Julie mumbled. "I was sleepy."

"10 minutes? An hour? All night?"

"I don't know! Ten minutes, maybe fifteen..."

"No cock, no fucking, no tits. Hard to believe, baby."

"Cyril. He fingered me. You don't think that's something?"

"For that long?"

Julie nodded.

"I'm so sorry."

"Did he make you cum?" I asked, burning with jealousy.

"I guess so. Or close to it. You know what happens when...if you do that."

I seethed at the thought.

"You're a fucking slut."

Julie nodded.

"I'm so sorry," Julie repeated.

"So why did he stop? If he didn't fuck you, if he didn't take your tits out, why not?"

"I don't know. I was half asleep. People came in the room and he left."

"What people?"

"I don't know, but I think they knew his girlfriend."

"Serves the bastard right. I should tell her myself."

Julie ran her fingers through my hair.

"I'm so sorry. You have to believe that it wasn't me. Not really. I was drunk."

"Then how can I trust you if you're ever drinking again?"

"Cyril. Please. I've never done this. You know that. This isn't normal for me. I hate myself as much as you do."

That was probably true.

"It's a lesson for me," she added. "Please, please, please, let me have one meltdown. Please trust me. It would kill me if I lost that. I do love you"

"His fingers were the last thing in you...," I said quietly, envious.

Julie pulled at her button and zip.

"Let's fix that. Now. Please," she said pulling everything down. "I'll let you shave me."

I could see where this was going. I had a grace period as part of Julie making-up with me. For a time I could do all the things she'd hated. Freely. But the price would be forgiveness.

"Shaved pussy. Videos of you on x-hamster. Nude beach."

"Okay, okay, I know you wanna do all that...but if I agree, you'll forgive me?" Julie half-smiled.

"Three months. All I want."

"One month," Julie countered.

"Hey. The guy I always warned was hitting on you fingered you. Fingered. This is not time for negotiation."

Julie sighed.

"Okay. But if I do this punishment gracefully, you'll be graceful too? Not make me feel guilty later?"

"Shaved. Movies of you fucking on the internet. Weekends at the nude beach."

Julie breathed out heavily.

"It's my own fault. Fine."

I smiled for the first time, undoing my pants.

"Open your legs," I told her.

Julie lay back and let me in. If it was looser than normal, I was too worked up to notice.

********

After Rocket moved along, Julie drifted between groups, chatting as best she could with people she half-knew. She drank a lot, too much.

Nat must have seen her go upstairs; he was waiting for her as she came out of the bathroom at the end of the hall. They had always been friendly, she was happy to see him, especially in her state. Julie had always been a happy drunk.

What she hadn't expected was Nat walking straight to her, holding her and kissing her on the mouth. In shock she let it happen. I didn't seem real. And it was weird. Julie could not even remember how kisses other than Cyril's felt. Nat's lips were harder and fiercer. His tongue was aggressive. His hand squeezed her ass tightly, his boner hard against her abdomen.

"Nat, you can't...," Julie slurred as he moved to her neck. "You can't."

Julie was scared and excited. She knew it was completely wrong but she didn't feel guilty right away. It wasn't her fault. She had literally done nothing to encourage or invite Nat to kiss her like that.

Her attempt to stop him opening her jeans was feeble. Things had quickly gone nuclear. His hand could hardly fit but he forced it in.

"You're wet," he grinned at her.

Julie kissed back as he fingered her. What else could you do to a guy who suddenly spins your brain with unexpected, uninvited ecstasy? She leaned back on the wall, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. His hand thrust up between her legs.

"Take your pants off," he told her.

"I can't."

"Take them off."

"Oh god," Julie moaned, two fingers sliding and probing her vaginal walls. "Oh shit."

"Take them off."

Julie brought her hands down to the waistband of her jeans. It was an effort to concentrate. Sexual adrenaline and alcohol had made her dizzy.

"Take them off," Nat repeated, thrusting and wriggling inside her. Julie pushed her jeans over her hips. Nat leaned down with her, fingering her clit as she pulled them down her legs. At her calves she stood back up, kicking off her sandals and flicking the denim from her legs. Barefoot and bare legged; Julie leaned back on the hallway wall. Her panties were still there but stretched wildly as Nat kicked her legs open and fingered her uninhibitedly. He forced three fingers in, Julie gasped. She held him and kissed and tongued him.

"I've dreamed of this baby," he said into her mouth.

"I know. But...shit, I feel dizzy."

"Take off your t-shirt."

"Huh?" It was hard for Julie to concentrate. Her vagina was soaked. Nat had got her at the right time; her body was aching for entry. His fingers were, "...delicious."

"What's that?" Nat gritted.

"Huh?"

"Take your t-shirt off baby."

"Someone will see..."

"No one comes up here. Take it off."

"We shouldn't...my boyfriend. Your girlfriend."

"Take it off."

Julie lifted her t-shirt as Nat's fingers worked inside her. She brought it up over her bra, but didn't take it off. Nat pulled one cup to the side and latched his mouth to her tight breast.

Julie was gone. Any thought of Cyril dissipated with the double attack on her breast and her vagina. It was thunderously exciting to have a different man's touch. It felt completely new, almost virginal. It went on for long enough to bring Julie into the red-zone.

"Cock," Julie groaned, trying to reach his crotch.

Suddenly there was a scream to her left, down the hall.

"You fucking bitch!"

Julie tried to focus on the body of a woman coming down the hall. Fast. She felt the gaping hole left behind as Nat's fingers scooted out of her underwear.

"You fucking bitch."

In her sexual and alcoholic stupor Julie still had enough sense to think 'Nat's girlfriend'. She knew he had one, but they'd never met. Why was she here? Why would he hit onto her if his girlfriend was here. Was he stupid?

SHOVE.

The girl didn't attack Nat, she went straight at Julie. She wasn't big, but wow, feisty.

"I've heard about you. Bitch. Leave him the fuck alone!"

SHOVE.

Thud, straight back against the wall. Nat got in between and held her as best he could. She had the fire in her, that girl.

"I didn't do anything. Your fucking boyfriend hit on me!"

The girlfriend tried to roundhouse slap her but Nat got in the way.

"Whose clothes are off, bitch! Only yours! You fucking liar!"

The girl kept at her. Julie managed to spin around past them but with no jeans she wasn't going to head downstairs. She found a door to open and rushed in, sitting in the dark on the floor, back against the door to hold it. It took some time before the bashing stopped and Julie dared look out into the hall again. Her jeans and shoes had gone. Shit!

Shutting the door she sat on the single bed of what looked like a spare room.

Shit! The thought of what she had done - the trouble she was in - was overwhelming.

********

"Hey. Hey. Wake up..."

Julie had been dreaming that she had heard someone saying that over and over and over.

"Wake up. Move over."

In a daze Julie felt herself being shoved closer to the wall of the small bed, and a body move in next to her.

"Rocket? What are you doing here?"

"Shh. I came to see you were okay. I heard you had a fight."

It took a few moments for Julie to remember why she was there.

"Ah. Not me."

"No?" Rocket smiled in the low light coming in from the street. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently massaging. "It wasn't you?"

"No...," Julie mumbled sleepily. Rocket leaned down and kissed her lips gently. Tired and drunk, it felt nice. Rocket pulled the quilt up over them. She felt bare legs against her own. He was in his top and his underwear, just like her. He continued kissing her lips and she let him. It was gentle, almost therapeutic. Time meant nothing; Julie lay and blissfully kissed that boy, a stranger. She didn't even know his real name.