Hilda and the Giant Wee Wee

Starring the Queen of Big Tittiedom, That Raucous Raiser of the Dormant Wee Wee, Miss Hilda Humper in: "Hilda And The Giant Wee Wee" Written and edited by Victor C. Nathan This absurdly entertaining romp through the Humper universe is the direct sequel to the acclaimed Humper tale, "Like A Virgin". Enjoy.

"Boy, that was fucking fun," Hilda said to herself as she sat at her desk wearing nothing but the green panties that she had decided to put back on, certain, however, that they would soon be coming off again. "I love to fuck. Especially those virgin wee wees. They've got all that fuck in them that needs to be released. And they do some fuck-releasing right in my naughty fuck-ready, fuckhappy pussy. Tee hee."

But Hilda still didn't feel anything close to being satiated after helping Jeremy Peters shed his bothersome virginity. Hilda had been more than happy to have made the young boy's day. Jeremy's little post-virginity pecker would never be the same and she was so proud of him. He had served her needs as well, her need to fuck and shag and hump like a wild whore. Hilda was one happy humper, one minx that could hook any man that was within her grasp and take him to bed with her. She could drag a man by his wee wee, using the power of her globular knockers as a powerful motivation for that man to fuck her always starving cunny. Hilda just loved the feel of a cock planted deep within her insides pounding the hell out of her in fucking frenzied fornication.

As she pushed her panties to one side and skillfully rubbed her erect clit, she felt fatigue washing over her body. Miss Humper had done some late nights of fucking at home lately and would be glad when the school week was over. The endowed educator and ebullient wee wee ebuilliezer could feel herself growing more and more weary, even as two of her little fingers tugged on her tiny nub, her tiny female equivalent of a wee wee. Hilda was so tired, so tired, so very fucking tired............

Hilda Humper heard a forceful knock at the door of her office. It was abrupt and then persistent in its urgency and obstinacy. Hilda smiled and then popped her bra onto her big boobies in a fast motion. She was so used to taking it off and on after having her ta tas sucked that it was like a reflex, like second nature to the buxom educator.

Just yesterday she had shared her big bazooms with her fellow teacher, Mr. Larry Cox. Old Larry had sucked her big bouncers like he was a hungry baby needing a milk fix.

Hilda strode to the door, her beautiful bod looking outstanding in her bright green underwear. She reached for the knob and slowly slid the door creakingly ajar. Before her was a sharp-looking badass kind of guy wearing khakis and a dress shirt with a stylish tie. Hilda liked the looks of the young man and the way that his eyes looked deeply into hers right before they dropped lower on her form to check out all the abundant and barely covered boobieflesh before him, her green boulder holder having squeezed her top-heavy tons of tittie, making her cleavage almost splash and ooze free of her cartoonishly carnival-like cups.

"Hi there, Hil," he snapped arrogantly as he slipped past her into the office. "How's the teaching game?"

Hilda thought that his swagger, somewhere between Marlon Brando and James Dean, was somehow appealing. She was drawn to his confidence, as was her pussy.

"Hi, John," Hilda addressed him as she adjusted her hard-working and noble bra strap that was forced to carry her mountainous mammy knocks and was biting into her shoulder in sharp protest. "Nice to meet you."

John Peenaster, his full name, took a few steps back from Hilda and then gave her a very obvious once over, checking out every voluptuous inch of her full-figured form that swelled in the chest and ass department.

"Whoa, Hil," John said, grinning and looking slyly at her. "What a set of fucking tittie bombs those fuckers are. Where did you get that bra from? A motherfucking hammock company? Ha ha ha!"

"Funny," Hilda replied wryly, still not managing to hide her amusement and her shock at John's cockiness and hubris. "And is that how you normally talk? Is that how you talk to your teachers?"

"Sure," John Peenaster chuckled as he loosened his tie and sat down in a leather back chair near her desk. "When they meet their new students in a bra and panties, looking like they got a set of motherfucking WMDs squeezed under their brassiere. Ha ha! And how in the living fuck did you manage to manuever those gargantuan gobs of tit into that little boobie trap, Hil? Pretty difficult task, I'll bet. Hmmmmmmmmm. And it looks like this desk got a little sticky today too. What the fuck happened here?"

"Something fun," Hilda said succinctly, horny as fuck, but not wanting to immediately reward his fucking arrogance. "I think we need to get your class schedule filled out now."

"Not so fucking fast, Hil," John said, leaning back in the chair like a CEO and running a finger over his groin. "I haven't told you much about me, now have I, Headlight Hil? You know what they called me at my old school? Let me rephrase that. You know what the fucking broads at my old school called me? Take a fucking guess."

John looked down with a smirk at the crotch of his pants that was now swollen so tight after looking at Hilda's big mams and sweet plump round ass. It looked like he was trying to contain some gargantuan object beneath his trousers.

"I don't know," Hilda said, her eyes dropping to study his groin for just a fleeting second and eyeing what seemed to be a member that ran down the side of one leg for a substantial distance. "You tell me."

"Jumbo John was my main name," the lad explained smugly as he touched the crotch of his khakis again and squeezed just a bit this time. "Another one of my handles was Donkey Dick. I'm sure you can guess why, Hil."

"I might have a clue," Hilda answered, trying not to show her horniness and excitement, her amazement as she studied his crotch, his pants so tight that she could literally make out his freakish member growing as they spoke, inching slowly down his left pant leg.

"Likely the same reason that all my male students call me Huge Hilda. They call me Huge Hilda because I have titties the size of megaton bombs," Hilda proudly stated as she placed a hand under each enormous mound and pushed it high up on her chest, making her green bra squeeze against her assets. "These babies are American originals, John. These whoppers are the most unforgettable part of the majority of these guys' high school experience. I got the best tits not only in Taft And Adams High School, but in the whole freaking state. I won the Biggest Chest In The Southwest contest in 2003 and the Miss Buxom Boob Queen award in that pageant put on and sponsored by Mrs. Buxsom's Bras For Busty Broads last summer."

John shifted in his seat a little and gave her a grin that was sly and cunning.

"Impressive," he stated as he seemed to feel the crowdedness in his khaki slacks grow unbearable in its immensity.

But his penis was not slack by any means. It was beginning to swell to what could be described as a gargantuan snake of a sex organ. Hilda could make out the outline of John's prick hanging and stretching down the side of one leg for a great length. Hilda could not even begin to estimate how enormous this boy was. She had spoken too soon to Kenny, for Mr. Peenaster had Mr. Long beaten in size by many, many inches. This was frightening when she recalled that Kenny was a full ten inches when he was at his apex, his absolute longest and hardest point. Hilda knew that she was in for something that was going to be like nothing she had ever witnessed in her nearly four promiscuous decades of fucking and savoring johnsons of every length and thickness.

"Hil, I do believe that you and I have something rather special in common. We share a similarity," John breathed in utter confident poise as he reached for the zipper of his pants and slowly dragged it down, using suspense to hold Hilda rapt at attention at the same time that her bright green panties were beginning to grow very, very wet. "We are different in obvious fucking ways. You're a fucking girl and I'm a fucking guy. But Hil, we share something very special in common. We are both people of great abundance, great immensity and great size. You've got a set of headlights on you the size of fucking basketballs. Real beauties, really. And I'm abundant in my way too. I've got a penis so long and so thick that it hurts for me to have an erection when I am wearing pants, especially jeans, which is why I never wear the fucking things."

John paused for effect and continued to unzip his fly in a slow motion way that seemed to go a millimeter at a time. Hilda gasped as she now made out the outline of his penis, the head of it leaning against his knee. Then he spoke again.

"My dick is a fucking huge one. Huge is such an inadequate word to describe something so amazingly and overly abundant, both in length and girth. There's enough here for about six guys' penises in my complete size. If this thing was split up and endowed to six people, you could have six guys with about six fucking inches a piece. These guys would be way the fuck above average. Anxious yet? Curious yet?"

"I'm beginning to get curious," Hilda Humper spoke up, interrupting him and attempting to conceal the quavering of pure exhilaration in her sexy voice as well as her breathing that made her award-winning whoppers quiver with horny fucking excitement. "Now enough yammering. It's time to see that monster tube snake in your drawers."

John Peenaster adjusted himself in his chair and then gazed into Hilda's beautiful eyes that glimmered and were wide, pupils dilated with a mixture of excitement and good old fashioned horniness.

"Baby, I'm not quite done talking yet. There is another thing. This big trouser snake that I have housed in the zoo cage of my khakis could make quite a fucking mess for you."

"Mess?" Hilda asked as she began to unhook her canyon-cupped brassiere.

"This is not any ordinary penis," John explained as he studied her mountainous knockers that were just now coming into view. "This thing could end up causing you to have to go and remodel your whole office. Because of its sheer uniqueness and length and girth, it has a tendency when it reaches, shall we say, nirvana. It tends to never stop."

"You mean that it never stops......?" Hilda spoke a fragment of the sentence, getting his point as her terrific tit twins flowed out of her bra, springing free and making the snake in John's pants stretch past his knee.

"Yep," John said matter-of-factly as he shed his shirt and tie and then began to undo his belt and lower his pants, just enough however to get Hilda anticipating. "It never stops fucking squirting and coming. This fucking big boy is like a geyser, baby. All kinds of that sticky shit coming out of my prick like a motherfucking flood. Holy fuckerfuckers, those damn motherfucking titties are as huge as motherfucking shit, Headlight Hilly. Nice ones. But with regard to my horsecock, I just thought I would warn you ahead of time there, studentfucker."

"Oh, John," Hilda replied in mock gratitude, allowing her heavy circles of boobieflesh to jar back and forth to titillate his penis. "You are so thoughtful. What would I ever do without you?"

"I guess you'd keep fucking the little boys' dicks," John quipped in a rapid fire comeback. "But now you got the absolute fucking biggest and the fucking best."

Hilda paused and then took off her green panties before she came closer to John Peenaster. John smiled as he checked out her tiny triangle of blonde pubic hair and not far below that, her sweet pink and nether pussy lips.

"I guess I'll have to see your cock before I can make that judgment," Hilda spoke softly as she moved a finger to her little cunny and then probed in and out of it, cooing with each deft penetration of her feminine cleft. "So you better pull that sucker out. I've got to go to lunch soon. Plus, I promised the janitor that I would suck his penis today. He likes to come in my mouth after a hard day's work. Those horny proletariat horndog motherfuckers. Marx was fucking wrong, but he would sure as shit still be proud of me for keeping the workers' wee wees sated. Now pull that crazy cock out of your fucking pants, fucker."

"All right. All right," John relented at last, his dick feeling as hard as a steel beam at this point in the game. "Here's your prize, Hil. I only ask you to feast your eyes upon the ninth natural ever- fucking wonder of the ever-fucking world."

John rose from his chair and dropped his khaki pants to the floor of the office. Beneath them his monster phallus was swollen and throbbing beneath boxers that were adorned all over with little cartoon sets of boobies. His extra lengthy pecker was in full view, only partially covered by the leg of his boxer that it jutted down through and that kept it from snapping upwards. His penis hung completely to his knees and a little past. Hilda whistled and then moaned aloud, her hand strumming her nub like a naughty violin string. Slowly and probably with more drama than was necessary, John pulled his silly boxers straight down, freeing his cock from the boxer leg it hung through and the naked-boobied Humper screamed as her new student's wee wee sprung up and stood straight, three feet of dick unfettered.

"I'm all dick, darling," John spoke to her with a grin that said he was a potential Guiness World Record winner.

It was too big to be true. Hilda was several feet away from John when he pulled his johnson free. When the boy's dick snapped up and out of his drawers and smacked her in the boobs, she let out a cry that seemed to suggest an apoplectic seizure.

"Holy fucking shit! It's not fucking possible!" Hilda screamed, cursing in front of her new student for the first time and making the objects on her desk rattle with the sound waves that she generated.

John Peenaster's member extended out for what seemed like forever, an eternity of protacted pecker. Hilda thought that his over three feet of penis was a hard rigid pole of numerous fuck possibilities. In his case, that pole would be a flagpole. It was the longest pecker that Hilda had ever seen. Jutting out into a stalk as long as a rifle, John was a monstrosity. And this was no pencil-dicked monstrosity either. John's super long weanie stick was a truly amazing five inches around in thickness. This boy had a slab of a pecker, its taut skin drawn out into what was a tree trunk of a sex organ. The head of John's penis, which was touching one of Hilda's breasts from several feet away, was the size of a baseball. His mushroom head was so big around that right now it looked like it could not possibly fit into any pussy. Hilda didn't know how she would get it into her mouth. It would definitely take some fucking doing and Hilda would fucking do it.

"Oh, fuck!" Hilda cried as her hand touched the giant head, the pee wee head, of John's neverending length of pipe. "I can't even get my hand all the way around this big fucker!"

"John Holmes, eat your fucking heart out!" John cackled as his thirty- six inch manhood throbbed and bobbed with its head in Hilda's little fingers. "I'm the fucking king of the fucking cocks!"

"Yes, you most definitely fucking are," Hilda agreed with a smirk as she rubbed the tip of the baseball-sized head of his peter against her erect left nipple. "This is a treasure to me, huge fucker. Oh, shit, the head of this fucker is big. It looks like it's got a face on it."

"No, but it will soon," John stated with a confident laugh, so erect now that it almost hurt, but feeling all three feet of his maleness tingling with a yearning for suck and a hunger for fuck.

"You got that goshdamn right, John baby. Oh, shit, sweetie. You're big enough to be in a horse show, Jumbo John," Hilda laughed aloud, her J cuppers cascading up and down with her fucking frivolity and rapacity as she tried to get her dainty little right hand all the way around the full thickness of John Peenaster's thirty-six inch motherfucking three fucking feet of motherfucking spec-fucking- tacular fucking prick. "Holy fucking shit, you crazy horse-cocked motherfucker! I fucking still can't fucking believe it!"

"Believe it, Headlight Hilly, with the big motherfucking hills. Ha, ha! Your knocking and bouncing and bobbing and rocking and knocking knockers are making my bitchin' bulge of a cock harder than I can ever remember. Hell fucking yeah, Hilly. My dick is as big and hard as shit, you Huge-Tittied Teach."

"Oh my goodness gracious, proud fucker!" huge-chested Hilda Hannah Humper squealed in a voice that was not at all like a teacher's voice should sound as her heart pounded like a sledgehammer behind her ever wobbling whoppers and she lost all her composure and began to spew nonsense amidst her amazement like a load of semen from a coaxed cock. "It looks like your fucking wee fucking wee isn't the only part of fucking you that is fucking big. What in the fucking motherfuck fuckerly fuckness are those fucking fuckity fuck fuck, 'look at fucker grow' fucking things hanging the fuck between your fucking leggity leg fuckity fuck fucks, you motherfucking fuckerfucker? Your fucking testicles! Ohhhhhh, weeeeee, shit, my fucking baby! That's no simple sack, John! That's a set of fucking softballs you got there, baby! Oh, shit, I'll bet those crazy fucking things could hold enough fucking semen in them to feed all the women at a Humper family reunion! Fuck, John!"

"A cheap blonde bimbo like you must be in fucking dick heaven," John laughed haughtily as his cock, which was the length of a rake handle, bobbed within her grasp and his softball balls wiggled, still carrying heavy cum cargo as he reached to mindlessly knead her cartoonish and carnal chest toys. "You can't even get your little fucking girly hand around that shit and my balls are too fucking big for you to handle too. My softball cum-holders are building that shit up for you to drink, bitch. I guarantee you that this is a fucking first for a hungry fucking cum-guzzling sperm-burper like you."

"Watch your big motherfucking mouth, John!" Hilda snapped in a voice tinged with ire and slapped the head of his dick with the back of her hand. "Nobody fucking talks to Hilda Humper like that! I don't give a shit how big their fucking pecker is or if their balls look like fucking cantaloupes! Understand, motherfucker? I fucking own this fucking school and most of the wee wees in this previously fuck- forsaken town, you arrogant little fuck! So if wee wee wants a fuck or a suck or whatever the fuck it is you want, you better fucking treat this J cup goddess of tittie glory with some motherfucking respect! Get the fucking picture, Long John Silver?"

John looked serious for the first time since he and his protruding pee wee had entered her office and almost fearful that he would be forced to leave the office without some pussy, tittie, or fellatio.

"I guess that was a little out of line, Miss Hilda," John said in a wincing, almost sorrowful voice. "All right. Jumbo John apologizes. But will you please, please suck him? I would be so damn honored to have a beautiful woman with titties as fucking big as your basketballs to fellate the fuck out of my lamp post."

"Now that is the surefire fucking way to get a woman to do what you want, John," Hilda replied, smiling broadly in a toothy beam that John thought was angelic as her perfect face softened again. "Of course I would love to suck the fuck out of your big tree trunk of a dick and empty those barrel balls of yours. Or whatever other way we can get that fucker to flood the room. Tee hee. How do you want to do this? What position would make it most comfortable? I'm not used to sucking cocks quite this fucking big."