Ho Before Bros

It was hard to concentrate on numbers that day, and time went extremely slowly the way time does when you try to hurry it along. Time is indeed a most contrary creature, slow when you want it fast and fast when you want it slow. Marie tried to persuade it that it was childish to always do the opposite thing but it didn't listen. Sad that something that has existed since itself began should be so immature.

Starch's esteemed stylist had decided that he was a leathery fellow. Leather boots, leather pants, leather jacket and an honest to god leather mask. She would color his hair green tomorrow, just food coloring; easily washed away, she promised. She placed a big mirror in front of him on the floor and told him to let himself be filled with the rock-roughness of leather and Starch to find the aggression he needed. It worked pretty well. The band was happy and he had a ball. He didn't know if he had real aggression in him, but it was fun to air this pretend-aggression that he and Marie had found somewhere. At least he didn't have to worry that someone he knew would recognize him. He certainly didn't recognize himself.

Marie took a lot of pictures of Ho with her phone. "Blackmail material." she said. "If nothing else I can show them to your kids."

"Yeah, great" Ho answered with that pang of sadness that he always got when someone talked about him and kids.

Marie stroked his cheek. "Kajsa has talked a lot about Onka Ho," she said. "I hope we can get together later this weekend."

"I would love that."

Friday night Ho sat in the small dressing room at Primal, watching the weird image in the mirror. "That's me." he thought. "I'm Starch and I am bad. Starch Vader, goddammit. I'm gonna give that fucking bass a good beating and it will love it." He growled at the mirror. He didn't really convince himself of his rockstarish badness, but at least he was getting a little bit more in the approximate vicinity of a little bit closer to get in character. Spokenloud affirmation might help the process along; "I'm Starch and I'm bad! Gimme a hotel room and I'll trash it! Gimme a whiskey bottle and I'll drain it and smash it! Show me a party, I'll crash it! Or a bad check - I'll cash it! Then there's my ass, I'll flash it!"

"Hey, way to go Starch!" Lady Bug was rather leathery, too, but also metallic insectile sexywild looking. Raw Liver was still bikerish but even more so, in vest and a naked chest. Ferret had the neat guy image with suit and tie. Nice white shirt, maybe he should have been Starch instead.

"There's a good crowd." Lady Bug said. She had been hanging around with friends in the audience. "Probably half of them people we know, pays to have a lot of friends." Ho felt a little bad that he hadn't any friends there, but he hadn't felt like telling his friends in the model plane cub, or anyone else, that he would appear on stage with green hair and a leather mask. Starch did not feel bad about it, he didn't give a fuck about anything except rocking the night away.

Ful made an appearance, plastered and plastered. He said, waving his white club hand about, that he was drowning his sorrows, disappointed that he couldn't play. But he was not at all hostile to Ho/Starch, to Ho's relief. Starch, again, didn't give a fuck.

Finally, the big moment was there. Ground Zero Naughts were introduced by Ms Primal and made their entrance, waving to the audience. Lady Bug bounced out in the lead, totally happy and in her element. Ho came last, totally scared and longingly thinking of his toy train room. Starch unfortunately seemed to have gotten lost right when needed. Ho was glad that he was not supposed to be a very active presence on stage. As a neophyte bassman it was ok to hide at the back while Lady Bug and Ferret handled the show.

Ho was reasonably happy with the first song. He fumbled in one place but not too badly. He watched Lady Bug admiringly, her light shone even brighter than usual while on stage. Gradually he forgot about being nervous and even enjoyed himself. Starch began to reemerge, too.

The rest of the concert was just a happy blur in his memory. Apparently Starch was a here and now guy who wasn't much into remembering things. Ful had filmed the whole concert, though. Well, perhaps not quite all, since he was so drunk. There was a long sequence of someone's ear, for instance. But to his surprise Ho could see himself (or Starch, rather) jump around, flirt with the audience and even sing backing vocals.

Ho watched this film sitting in a corner of the club, too tired to go home and sleep. He felt utterly drained, but happy. Through the haze of tiredness he eventually registered that a girl was talking to him. She was sitting very close and touched his arm often. Ho woke up a little behind his mask and realized she was gorgeous in that EMO way; very red hair, pale skin hardly visible for all her tattoos, pierced. Leatherish clothes, though not as thoroughly leathered as he.

She was telling him that she found him mysterious and exciting. Big, masked, silent, dressed in leather, rock musician - apparently he pushed all her buttons. Or, rather, there were still some buttons left unpushed and she would like to rectify that situation. This while caressing his leather clad dick in a most forthright fashion.

This was a very new situation to Ho. He wasn't quite a virgin, (there had been that utterly embarrassing incident with one of his internet dates) but almost. Starch was not currently accessible, which was too bad since Ho was sure that Starch would be able to deal with Isabell and her frank offer of a blowjob in the john.

Ho was tempted, of course. He knew that, as long as he kept his mouth shut, Isabell would blow him, super cute almost half his age gorgeous rockchick blow him. And then? How could he tell her afterwards that in real life he was a thirty-five year old fat accountant who still played with his toy railway? He'd get that blowjob but he would lose a bit of his self-respect. But that imperious hard-on under the leather didn't care shit about his self-respect and this was a one in a lifetime chance. He stood up and reached out his hand to Isabell with a masterful shine in his rockstar eyes.

Isabell rose with a happy giggle and embraced him and right then Ho felt someone watching him. Turning round he saw Marie and knew right away that blowjobs from Isabell was out. He cared a lot more about Marie respecting him than his own degree of self-respect. Shit! But nothing to do about. Bye bye Isabell, sorry but I suddenly remembered I am married you are the prettiest girl but duty calls, goodbye again. Exit Isabell, sexy ass swinging.

Ho removed his disguise and emerged in all his accountantness. Marie came to see him before he went home. "Hey Ho, great job tonight! Would Sunday be a good time to meet up? About two? Good. See you then, why don't you come visit us, I'll cook something bland and boring that Kajsa eats."

"Sounds great." Ho said. And it did.

"Onka Hooo!" Kajsa screamed happily, then ordered him into her room to admire her toys, her bed, her pillows, her pictures on the wall, her teddybear, thirteen more teddybears and of course herself. Ho obediently admired everything until Marie announced that dinner was ready. There was pasta with meatballs on the menu, a fact greeted with enthusiasm by Kajsa and resignation by Ho. Due to the company it was a delightful meal anyway and afterwards Kajsa was tired. Time for a nap.

While waiting, Ho looked through Marie's records and smiled nostalgically at a lot of the titles. He put on Germ Free Adolescents, (quietly, of course) which he had forgotten. Now he was reminded that he liked it a lot.

Marie appeared and made coffee.

"Thanks again for yesterday, Ho. You really saved us, you were perfect."

"Certainly not perfect. But I'm happy. It was fun."

"You should play in a band for real, Ho."

"I think I would like that. I just have to find some people who want to play with me."

"I'm on. I have a lot of songs that don't fit for the Naughts. And I know a drummer looking for a band. Plays chess for a living, would you believe that."

"Peter P Hansson? Wow. Of course I can believe that. I like chess."

"Somehow I am not surprised. I'll ask him, then. Would be neat with someone on keyboard, too. I'll ask around."

"You do that. I don't know anyone, I'm afraid. So, how long did you stay at the club?"

"Not all that late. Raw wanted to screw, didn't score with anyone else."

"Mmm..." Sadness. But he held on to his poker face.

"I turned him down. Thought about what you said."

"Mmm..." Joy. Poker face, poker face.

"I saw you and that cute chick."

"Mmm..." Apprehension.

"Not many men would have turned her down. You are a great guy, you know."

"Mmm..." Happiness and embarrassment. Poker face cracking a bit.

"Now I'll get out on a limb here, ok. The most important reason I turned Raw down was that I realized I'd rather screw you."

"MMMM!!"

"Ok, say something nice. I need something nice. Preferable a yes, but I can live with a nice we can still be friends no."

"You're not kidding?"

"Fucking right I'm not kidding.

"In that case...If you're sure...I'm sure I would be delighted to..."

"Great. We'd better get started then, before Kajsa wakes up. That itch is really really itchy, you know."

"I am not very...experienced, Marie. I must admit I'm rather nervous."

"Hey, Ho, trust me. Just sit back and enjoy it." Marie kneeled before Ho and began to button up his trousers, humming along to Polly Styrene, bondage up yours. "Hmm, what do we have here?" She made great eyes, seemingly amazed at her find. "Pants off!" she whisper-yelled (to not wake Kajsa up) and gave them a great pull. She then started to undress, hurriedly but with rapid seductive moves - a racer-striptease.

"Lose that shirt, Ho!" she ordered. This time he seemed unwilling to obey his orders.

"I am not very happy with my body, Marie. If I could keep the shirt on I think it would be easier for me. I must add that you are the most breathtakingly beautiful sight I have ever seen in my entire life."

"You're so sweet, Ho. And sure, if it's easier for you with your shirt on it is ok. But I won't judge your body, Ho. Who would I be to talk? I get by on personality, and you can too, Ho. Your personality is pretty goddamn nice. And this proud fellow is goddamn nice as well. Keep still!"

Ho kept still, filled with wonder and joy. She did it, she actually for real authentically took his dick in her mouth, and it was fantastic, even better than he had imagined and he had imagined quite a bit. Drawing on the vicarious experience of the erotic stories he had read on internet he stopped her when he felt he was close to climaxing and politely asked her to change place.

Fellatio was another subject well covered by his reading. He had studied diligently and made notes. He now methodically applied the knowledge he had gathered, at least at first. Pretty soon he was lost in what he was doing, high on the nectars of her sex. Soon Maries whispers turned to call and Ho was filled with that incredulous awe again that this was really happening and was here and now and he actually was making the woman he had admitted to himself that he loved make these noises of ecstasy, and surely this must be her having an orgasm.

"Mama?"

Ho grabbed his pants and scurried into the kitchen as fast as he could. At least his shirt was still on, but why must pants be so hard to get into when you were in a hurry? Contrary things, like time. Marie struggled with her pants too, but she at least had no rampant hard-on to conquer.

"Coming, honey... sorry Ho."

Ho was sorry too, but more happy than sorry. Sure, it would have been nice to have gotten further but this time was so much better than the first, embarrassing one. This time had been great sex but no ejaculation, the other time had been all ejaculation and no sex. All three played "Onka Ho is a doggy" for a while, with Marie reminding him to do things doggy style. Eventually he went home, with a smile upon his face and his boxers in his pocket. They had been mysteriously lost most of the afternoon but were eventually found snagged between the couch and the wall. Marie had laughed her big lovely laugh and called him Commando Gung Ho the rest of his stay.

Next day at work Marie studied him with such a thoughtful gaze that it made him very self-conscious. Was she angry? He thought not, she didn't look angry, thank god. But she didn't look happy either. He had come with his happy-face on and hoping for the same from her, but no. It was not happy-thoughtful, sad-thoughtful or angry-thoughtful. She was just plain thoughtful-thoughtful.

"Ho, we have to talk."

"Oh-oooh."

"Relax Rainman, it's not so bad. I hope."

"Okaaay."

"I need you to shut up and listen for a while, you can do that, right."

"It's what I do best."

"Good. Ho, I always liked you, in spite of your trying to make all the world think you were boring. On our first lunch I decided I was gonna fuck you... Shut up - you promised, Ho! Good. But then I thought it would be a mercy-fuck. You were so nice and so down on yourself I figured you needed it."

"A mercy fuck", Ho thought, obediently silent. Yes, of course - that was what it was. He sighed sadly to himself.

"Didn't turn out that way, though. No mercy. Then, when you were so receptive in stretching you limits I upgraded to reward-fuck. And then, when you saved our gig I planned for a thank you-fuck. But you know what, Ho? What it was was the best fucking fuck of my fucking life and we didn't even fuck. The bros I've been with always treated me like they were doing me a favor and were conceited as shit when I came which I usually did cos I'm wired that way. But you Ho...you weren't just licking my clit. This sounds corny but you fucking was touching my fucking soul too and excuse my fucking language but I'm nervous."

"What I want to say Ho, and I'd like a yes but I can live with a nice we can be friends no, what I want to fucking say is... We are good friends, Ho, and you adore Kajsa, which counts for a lot. I know you are down on yourself cos of your looks but I don't give a fuck about your girth which is a word I never thought I'd use in my life. Is it pronounced that way?"

"I don't know, I've only seen it in writing."

"BUT what I want to say but don't seem able to actually fucking say is... do you think we could be more than friends, Ho? Yesterday started like some friends with benefits deal but I want more if I can get it. Of course nothing is for certain but we could try and see if it's there. Right?"

Ho felt like he was floating in a bubble of wish fulfillment happy gas. His steady, dependable heart grew even larger as he embraced her and held her to his big, soft, warm body. He knew there were difficulties ahead - everyday life with grey bad tempered mornings, shitty food because no one had the energy to cook, squabbles, difficult relatives, arguments about house cleaning, child rearing and how to spend or not spend their money. To Ho, this future smelt like roses.

"Right!"