Hold

Part three of a series. Push is part one, Sway is part two.

*****

I want you to focus on me when things start to get difficult tonight. I want you to cling to me because I can lead you back to safety. Even if I'm the one who put you in this difficult situation to begin with.

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"I want you to know that you're in control tonight, no matter how it seems." I say it with an edge because I feel your uncertainty and I don't fault you for it. To a degree I don't know why you're here except that you want this and trust me. Still, you're afraid. I would be, too.

When you ask if I'm sure you have to use the blindfold I state yes plainly. I can see I've been too brusque and take your hand in mine, lock our fingers together and squeeze. I tell you that I love you, I tell you that you're wonderful, I tell you that you're mine no matter what happens and you can always say no, at any time, and it will be respected.

You squeeze back and that's when I know everything will be fine.

We kiss like we're new to it and the years fade away. It's funny what a little daring can do for two people who have known each other for so long. The kiss turns long, wet, our tongues in each others mouths and I can feel the heat coming off your face.

I adore you. So much more now than the day I met you that I cannot fathom the distance in any true way.

Our hands decouple and I take up the blindfold and slide in on your like an executioner's mask. You stand still and quiet as I make sure it is secure. When I ask if you are alright you only nod. I imagine that, if everything goes alright, I won't hear another word from you tonight so I demand that you tell me you love me, and it makes the burden lighter when you say you do.

I peek my head out the hotel room and make certain there is nobody in the hallway.

All clear-so I take your wrist and drag you into the hallway, down three doors, and knock.

A part of me hopes that it won't be answered, but none of me is surprised when he opens the door.

He is beautiful in a way you will never see, so just know that he is handsome and lithe. That he is a good counterpart to my average looks and broad build. I've made certain you are getting something new out of this.

And unlike me, he isn't afraid or put off. He smiles like we are old friends and nods before swinging the door open and allowing me to guide you in.

For a moment it seems there will be preamble, or maybe even talk, but instead he closes the door and puts his hands on your waist from behind, pulls you into him like you're old lovers.

You gasp, but do not fight it, just shake and shudder and drink it in so deeply you leave your mouth open.

He paws up and down your sides, avoiding your breasts, focusing on your ribs, your neck, your shoulders as he kisses you. It seems he wants you to be into him, and little by little, you are. You're loosening up, become less tense, letting your head crane to the opposite side of where he's kissing to give him more access.

You're his right now, and for a moment, I wonder if you even remember that I'm there.

The jealousy grips me, churns in my stomach until it is as hot as my breath. I want to rip his head off. I want to hurt him just for the affection you give him. I want to make each little sigh that escapes your lips cost him something dear.

Instead I watch as he undoes your top and slides it to the ground, as he continues to stroke your shoulders and neck after he does. How he savors in the way that only a brand new lover can.

You lean against him, let him wrap his arms around you, become enveloped by him as he cups your breasts, strokes the front of your neck, plays with your hair. His hands explore you as his mouth takes you.

For a moment it's too much to me, I turn around and inhale, exhale slowly, then I move to the wall to lean against it, turning around to see him rubbing both your breasts at once, ear flickering on your tongue before sucking in the lobe.

He undoes your bra, he begins to undo your skirt when you gasp and shake, so he waits. When you calm he finishes unclasping it and slides it to the ground as well. Then he guides you to the bed and waits for your to sit so he can kneel down and undo your shoes, take off your socks and kiss up your thighs.

I wonder how much of this is for my benefit, you not gasping and shaking the way I can tell you want to. It infuriates me. Everything at this moment is razors edge in my small world.

He nibbles on your inner thighs while stroke the outside of them. He moves his head up to your panties and inhales deeply, placing a kiss on the front of them before continuing down the other of your legs. He grabs you, a bit rougher now, pushing skin and flesh from your ankle to your knee and then from your knee to your pussy, like he's trying to take all the heat of your body and shove it there.

When he begins to take off your panties you call my name and he stops. You call it again and reach a hand out.

I come to your side and you grasp my hand with yours before bringing the other hand up to clasp me tightly. Then you pull down and in, tractor me to you, until my face is next to yours.

We kiss, and it is desperate and needy.

We continue to do so as he removes your panties and put his lips on you. We kiss as he eats you out.

I can hear him slurping, licking, kissing into you as our tongues move, as you hold me so tightly it hurts just a little. But something happens a few kisses in. You start to moan into my mouth, lightly at first, then the occasional sharp gasp, before finally outright moaning at the pleasure he's giving you into my face as we kiss. You drop your hands and one goes to the back of his head to grab his hair and push him down, the other to crane around my neck and hold me close.

And you are closer, and closer, until you cum, legs shaking besides his head, moaning into my mouth.

You remove your mouth from mine and breath for a moment and he stands up. He disrobes as you even out.

And then I'm the only one between the three of us wearing clothes.

He's hard, and large, and he puts a condom on with one hand like it's second nature. Ever part of my animal brain is telling me to shove him aside and take you for myself. Throw you over my shoulder and storm back to our room, but I fight the impulse.

I fight it for you.

He lowers himself on to the bed next to you and puts his hands on your face. He turns you to him and you kiss briefly before he takes your hand and guides it to his cock.

You gasp, but don't retract. Instead you hold onto it, gingerly at first, but then you take it firmly in hand and start pumping, up and down, slowly. The way you would if you wanted me to enjoy it. After a few moments of this kiss he reaches down to feel your pussy, open you up with his fingers, and then to finger your clit, stick two fingers in.

He's testing you, and you're loving it.

He rises off the bed effortlessly, easily, and pushes your legs apart with his. He takes your hands with his and without guidance, moves right into you like you were made for him.

You shout out, turn and twist your head, but only until it's all the way in, then you ask for a moment, take some deep breaths and wrap your arms around his back. When your hands are digging into him you give consent and he starts to pull out and push into you.

And then I'm watching the only woman, the only thing, I have ever truly loved getting fucked by another man and loving every second of it.

I can only imagine how different it feels, him, his size, his unknown face and one-off nature. He's more brutish than I am, at least at this, as he pulls all the way out slowly and slams back in. You wail every time he does. You cry out gibberish. He picks up speed and then it continues. He stops holding back, stops taking it slowly on the way out but instead thrusts all the way out and then back in, faster, harder, faster, harder.

You cling to him as he does, you kiss his chest in between your wails. You cry out for more and he gives it, going at an even more rapid pace. He stops pulling all the way out to make sure he can instead slam in the way you want it.

Your fingers dig into his muscle so tightly that they make ten little indents. His body is so close to yours now that your screams are muffled and somewhat muted. But I can tell, we all know, that you want more of him.

He leans back and picks you up with him, getting you at a slight angle and before pounding you for all he's worth. He grunts, softly and almost sweetly, unlike the growls you are used to from me. He holds you like you're precious in the air, like on a pedestal.

He fucks you.

And you cum for him.

You wail and shake and moan into his face now, holding onto hims so you don't fall or so you don't lose the sensation, who can tell. But you're his in this moment, as you orgasm.

He does as well, albeit much more silently and with a great deal more effort.

You both drop to the bed and then he pulls out quickly, moves to the small desk in the room and pulls off his condom to toss it away. His cock is still mostly hard though and he begins to stroke it, hard, despite the clear over-stimulation on his face.

You call out for me again and this time you only take my hand kiss the back of it. He's made you too weak to do much else. You are sweaty and sticky and flush in all the best possible ways.

He moves to your other side and takes your free hand, moving it to his cock, which you groan at as you begin to stroke. You even shift to get into a better position, to pump him harder, better, as he cock grows again.

Then you reach to the front of my zipper and undo it. The swelling of uncertainty and mixed emotions is something that I cannot express. But I could never deny you, not anything, not even this hard on.

You slide your hands into the boxers and pull me out and then, with your non-dominant hand, you're stroking two guys off at once.

He's not content, though and he comes in closer to you, kneels on the mattress. You turn to him without conflict or hesitation and put the tip of his cock in your mouth, squeezing me harder the moment you do.

You start bobbing up and down on his cock, stopping with mouth open wide to let him push himself in and out between strokes. You give him your all, the way you would anything new, and stroke his balls and suck him in greedily until he is as hard as he can be, then you keep going, greedy as you are.

Then you unexpectedly pull back and turn to me and before I can object you've pushed your mouth all the way down my cock, as far as you can with my clothes still on. You suck it long and lovingly, like you had two drinks in you and I was your world.

You bob up and down and I moan and I lose myself.

By the time I come back to my senses he's put on another condom and is applying a little bit of lube to his index finger. He makes a gesture that I take to mean "let her stop" and I pull you back away from me.

You seem alone and confused, abandoned in a way, before he comes back to you and then you cling to him with your free hand. Your comfort with him only lasts a moment though, before he sticks his finger into your ass.

You squeal and shift and even kick at the air a moment before relaxing and letting it all the way in, letting it turn around inside you before he removes it, applies lube and repeats the process with the second finger.

I disrobe as he sticks the third inside you and you grunt and growl, like an animal. Like a whore.

He puts the residual grease from the lube onto his cock which he pumps a few times before hoisting himself under you, getting your ankles on his shoulders, and pushing his cock against your ass.

You cry out for me so I reach a hand out to you and you grab it and pull me in. This time we do not kiss, you just want me close as his cock moves into you.

It's a much slower prospect than I would have imagined. Or he's taking it slow, I'm not sure, but it seems like he's not moving into you so much as sinking.

As he does you unbutton my shirt as best you can, and after you give up you just say please, over and over again to me. So undo them for you as your hands cling to the fabric. But the moment you can, you grab my flesh beneath the shirt and hold onto me, cling to me, make me feel like I'm still important to you as he finally makes it all the way into your ass.

You both breath heavily, then it begins.

He starts moving in and out in a very different way, this time slow and methodical. He doesn't want to hurt you, just open you up, make you feel him while he's building up.

You're not moaning the way you were, either. It's more of a hiss, through your teeth. As he picks up his pace you bury your face into my torso, you bite and kiss against my skin as both hands hold me in place, daring me not to move.

He goes faster and faster, but somehow not harder into you. Your mouth drops from my stomach to my cock, but you don't take it into your mouth, you must press your face against it, rub it against me as you cry out.

That spurs him on and he begins to slam, faster, harder until he cums.

You moan and shudder, but I can tell you have cum. The moment he's pulled out of you hands clasp my neck and pull me down to kiss you, long hard hard.

Small pleas escape you, beg for me to disrobe, so I do.

I can't believe that I do, but truly, I can't deny you anything.

You reach out for my cock and pop it into your mouth, the pain of being ass fucked making it easier to slide my cock all the way into your mouth before asking me to take you. You repeat this process several times—taking my cock all the way into your mouth, pulling out and saying please fuck me.

So I push you onto your back by your shoulders, climb between you and push into you. You moan like you're dying and, for some reason I cannot name, I believe it to be sincere. That this is somehow special to you.

We don't last long, pushing against one another, my deep in your pussy before I see him, re-equipped and ready to go, to do the thing we discussed. I nod at him and he returns the nod as I push into you, feeling confused, conflicted and somehow lost.

I pull myself out of you and you moan and cling to me, pull at me, try and get me back in but instead I tell you to trust me. I tell you to calm yourself and trust me.

You take a deep breath and nod.

I move onto my back, my feet touching the floor of the bed as I pull you onto me. You know the position well and squat first before getting onto your knees and sliding my cock into you again deftly. You bob up and down and then I feel it. The weight of his hands on your back, pushing down until you are against me.

I can sense it, him moving into your ass, constricting the wall between me.

You scream, but compose yourself as he stops, and scream again when he continues.

The world is a mess of "oh gods" and "please" and "wows."

Then he starts to fuck you and you move with the rhythm, but it's hardly about me at all. You feel him, you move with him, your pussy pulses on me with his jerks.

I tell you that I'm going to remove the blindfold but that you can only look at me, that you can't try and look behind, just at me.

You nod, but give no other indication, until I take it off. Then we lock eyes, narrowed and together, in love and kindness and depraved sex and everything else—we are one.

You put your hands on my pecs and push down on my cock now, mouth opening, eyes more intense than I ever remember seeing them. You're working my cock, hard and with vigor as he moves into you.

It doesn't last long, and I don't see how it could, but even before he's grunting you are. Then you close your eyes, dig your nails into my flesh, pull your head towards the ceiling a howl out an orgasm.

He follows suit, pushing against you so hard we truly sandwich you.

He cums, and I feel your cum and pulsing for it all over my cock.

After a moment you put your head at the base of my neck and close your eyes, your hair damp from the seat, random shakes going through you as he pulls out, and even after.

We can hear him dress, zip up, and after a moment of packing, the door opens and shuts.

You kiss me, long and deep and then you kiss me again. You start pumping up and down on me, leaning the whole of your body into it, but your strength gives out and I laugh.

For a moment you look like you'll cry but then you smile, cling to me, say how grateful you are.

We rest up a little while longer, me still inside you.

You ask me to promise that I'm not mad and I do, but you ask a follow up about what I'm feeling and I say the truth.

"I don't know. A lot of things." Then, after a moment. "But I love you very much."

You repeat it back to me and cling to me. We breath deeply, fully, relaxed with one another before you pull off and start dressing hastily.

You say you want to go and when I ask what's wrong you just repeat it faster, with a deeper edge. So I get up and get dressed, a few steps behind you. You make it to the hallway but then you seem disorientated.

I take you by the hand and lead you back to our room, opening the door for you and letting you get in and it's only once your inside that you seem to be able to breath.

When I ask you if you're alright you say you're fine, but you bow your head against me and you're crying, at least a little. I don't know what else to do so I pet you, I stroke you and wait for the tears to stop.

You take a deep breath and say that you need to take a shower and I move out of your way to let you into the bathroom, but you hold onto me a few seconds longer before you go.

The water runs for about ten minutes and then you're back to me, make up off, hair in a towel, eyes wide like you're in trouble.

I start to ask you what's wrong but you cut me off and shake your head.

Then you tell me that you love me more than you could ever have imagined. That who I am and what I'd do for you terrifies you to your core. That you couldn't imagine life without me, not any kind worth living, and you are so very happy that you met me.

I nod so as not to show my confusion.

This seems to have been the right answer because you kiss me so hard it cuts my lip before taking my cock into your mouth and giving me the best blow job I've ever gotten in my life.