Hold Me

Walking on my own
Leaving you behind
You are crying out
You need to speak your mind

I could barely focus on the drive home; I was so excited to get home to my amazing girlfriend Laura. Today was our 3-year anniversary and I was going to propose to her. The ring I'd finally decided on was perfect, a gorgeous diamond that was encased by emeralds and sapphires. Sure, it put a sizable dent in my bank account, but she was worth it.

As I stood in front of our apartment, I took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Baby? Baby where are you?" I walked inside, and heard noises from the bedroom, so I assumed she was watching TV. As I got closer though, the blood began to drain from my face.

I opened the door and saw her completely naked, with some guy's cock buried in her.

"W-what the fuck Laura?" As soon as she noticed me she covered herself.

"I um. I can explain," she said, getting up and letting him slide out of her before she moved over to me, "Well it kind of just happened. I mean, I know that's not a good explanation, but he came over so we could finish something up for work, and well. I don't know. I'm so sorry baby. But we can move past this right? You'll forgive me won't you? I know you will."

Something about her apology didn't seem genuine. Actually, the entire thing seemed like a crock of shit.

"You don't really give a shit about me, do you? Just get the fuck out." She looked completely caught off guard and she opened her mouth as if trying to say something.

"Are you serious? You're leaving me?"

"No, I'm not going anywhere, you're the one who's leaving. Get the fuck out. You can come get your stuff later, I need time to myself."

"Whatever, I've been cheating on you for a year now anyways, so fuck you. See if you can even do better than me."

Bitch.

I spent a few days on the couch moping after that. I couldn't believe that she'd been cheating for a year, an entire year? And I was thinking about spending the rest of my life with this girl. The long weekend was almost over though, and I had to go to work in two days.

I heard the doorbell ring and I wasn't really very interested in seeing who it was. I was in no mood for visitors -- I hadn't even showered since I kicked Laura out, and the only reason I had gotten up was if I was about to starve to death or pee myself.

I dragged myself to the door and opened it. Surprised to see my best friend standing there. I felt extremely self-conscious seeing as he was always critical of me, always wanting me to look my best.

"Gabe what in the fuck? You look terrible." Davis looked me up and down, a look of shock on his face.

"I broke up with Laura," I said, trying to avoid eye contact with him. Although Davis was my best friend, he had no filter, and in situations where I was down he either said the perfect thing and made me feel so much better, or said something completely candid that made me feel like shit.

"Oh Gabe, I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I felt strangely comforted by his embrace and leaned into it, wrapping my arms around him as well.

"I just tried so fucking hard," I said, wiping my nose as I pulled away from him, "I bought a ring and everything, and I was going to propose and I came home and she was fucking someone else in our bed. In our fucking bed."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Davis and I had moved to the couch and he let me lean against him as I cried into his chest.

"Why don't you come stay with me for awhile? I don't think it will do you any good if you stay in this apartment that you two built together," he looked down at me sincerely, and maybe it was a good idea if I got out of this apartment.

"Well maybe. I'll have to think about it though. But thank you. I'll give you a call in a few days alright?" Davis got up, shrugging as he ran a hand through his golden blonde hair. He had always talked about dying it, but seeing as the natural color was seriously beautiful, I'd always convinced him not to.

"Okay," he said as he played with his lip ring, "well just as soon as you can okay? I don't want to leave you like this. I love you, and it hurts me to see you like this."

I nodded as he left, holding it together to see him off before I burst into tears again.

I have many fears of rejection I have many memories of pain I have always been a little shy So I'll turn and look the other way

It had been a few days since I'd seen Gabriel after his breakup with Laura, and I couldn't get him off my mind. It's not a surprise though; I've been in love with him since the moment I laid eyes on him.

He's so beautiful and he doesn't even realize it. He has the most incredible golden eyes, not to mention the thick black eyelashes that accompany them. And his hair...I just want to run my fingers though his near shoulder-length black hair that was almost always a perfect mess.

It broke my heart to see him such a wreck. Of course he's still ridiculously attractive no matter what state he's in, but I hated more than anything to see him unhappy.

I never knew what to say to him in situations where he's upset, because I never wanted to say the wrong thing and make him even more upset, but I wanted to be there for him and offer advice.

"Fuck," I mumbled, throwing myself down on my couch. When I'd asked Gabe to move in with me I was being sincere, it wasn't just because I wanted to be able to see him the second I woke up, but because genuinely I didn't think it was a good idea for him to be moping around in that godforsaken apartment.

I wasn't sure if I should call him, because I didn't want to pressure him into living with me but him being my best friend, I was concerned. I caved, and dialed his number.

"Hello," he grumbled, making my heart flutter a little. It was pathetic and juvenile that just hearing his voice had this affect on me.

"Hey Gabe, it's Davis, so have you thought about my offer?" I nervously played with my lip ring as I waited for his response.

"Yea. I uh, I don't think that would be the best thing right now. Well it probably would be, but I don't think I'm ready to leave just yet. Plus Laura still has to come get her stuff and I don't know if she has her key. And I just don't know if I'm ready to leave everything and just go yet. I mean this place has so many memories for me," he said sadly. Fuck.

"Babe come on, you can't just mope around there. And fuck Laura if she doesn't have a key, why do you care? You shouldn't want to even see her. Look, I'm not going to let you sit around there so I'm going to come pick you up in a few hours, so you better have whatever you want to bring with you ready." I hung up the phone without giving him time to respond or argue back.

I couldn't really wrap my head around the fact that in just a few hours I'd be living with the man that I've been fantasizing about for nearly 7 years.

Gabe and I have been best friends since our freshman year in high school, when we were both only 14. Seeing as our birthdays were only a few days apart, we usually celebrated them together.

Although I'd have the occasional wet dream about Gabe, what really sealed the deal was when we kissed at our 18th birthday celebration.

We were both rather drunk, and when we went back to my house, Gabriel had been acting kind of funny. He kept holding onto me and I really just blamed it on the fact that he was drunk, but deep down I knew, well hoped that it was more than that.

"Come here," I said, pulling him down on top of me. I couldn't believe that I was legitimately doing this.

"What? What's wrong?" He smiled down at me lazily, and I only opened one eye as I puckered my lips at him.

"Kiss me," I whispered, pulling him down to me. As soon as our lips touched I felt like my heart exploded.

Gabriel didn't pull away from me immediately, but when he did he muttered something about going to bed and I didn't see him for the rest of the night.

We never really talked about that night, seeing as it would be kind of awkward and possibly would ruin our friendship. But within a week things were back to normal.

We never did anything after that, except when I kissed him on the cheek, which always made his cheeks turn the most adorable scarlet color.

I felt my cock twitch a little bit in my pants as I began to think about how incredibly gorgeous he really is.

I need a smoke.