Hot Dogs and Warm Cream

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earnie65
earnie65
163 Followers

"I am sorry Caro. I solemnly promise that from now on I would be a true brother." They heard the door opening. Kelvin rushed to his bed.

"We'll pretend to be fast asleep," he said. Dad and Mom opened the door of their room."

"Good children." Mom said.

"That is because we lead by example," said Dad. .

*

They woke late and found Mom and Dad breakfasting.

"Why do both of you look at us with such hostility?" asked Mom. There was no answer.

"Sorry kids we were entertaining friends. We lost track of time," said Dad. Still no answer.

"Did you spend your time in the room," asked Mom.

"No. We sauntered out," said Kelvin.

"Where?"

"Must be some place like yours."

"What did you have," asked Mom.

"Hot dogs and warm cream," said Caro.

"Hot dogs and ketchup I know," said Mom, "but cream? I never heard of hot dogs and cream"

"In the place we went to they serve hot dogs with warm cream, Mom." Both collected cans of coke and a box of cookies and left.

"They have a right to be annoyed with us," said Mom. "We should not have left them for so long in this strange place. Why are you smiling?"

"Why that doubt about hot dogs and cream," said Dad, "you had it too, ha, ha, ha." He suddenly shot up as if fire crackers were bursting under his seat. His wife understood.

"Don't worry Pete; these two are very innocent kids. Relax." Caro and Kelvin, who were listening, exchanged glances and smiled. It was small victory but it demanded a celebration. They gave themselves a low high five.

earnie65
earnie65
163 Followers
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3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
2 out of 5

Obviously, English is not the author's first language. The basic story line was okay, but the stilted English left a lot to be desired.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Maybe....

this reads better in your native language.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Tough to read

Do you really speak like that? Your sentence structure and peculiar use of phrasing makes it very tough to read.

The story idea is GREAT but loses its punch because of its “flow”.

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