How Do I Atone

How could I have so completely misjudged the man I love so dearly?

My generous plan to give him what I thought he so desperately wanted backfired.

After last night, I feel like a cheating, sex-craved slut. There's NO WAY I DESERVE THIS LOVING, GIVING, AND SENSITIVE MAN!

How did I dig this hole?

It all started while Brad was deployed overseas. We always exchange dirty e-mails and the longer he's gone, the more graphic and kinker they get. We both have extremely high libidos and do everything imaginable to please our partner. We have a bag full of every sex toy imaginable. Believe me when I say they are used on a regular basis!

I am his! My mouth, pussy, breasts and ass are all at his disposal and many have been filled simultaneously with our collection of dildos, vibrators, plugs and eggs, while his lips and cock occupy the others.

Likewise, he is mine. His mouth, cock and ass are at my disposal. My fingers, tounge and our toys get their fair share of use pleasuring him too! One of my favorites is a feeldoe. This ingenious toy has a large bulbous base that fills my pussy nicely. A large blue silicone dildo angles up from this bulb. It juts fully erect from my crotch, making me look like a well hung stud.

The manufacturer claims it's easy to keep the bulb snug in a pussy.

Unfortunately, I find that as I ravage his hot lubed ass or pound his hungry lips, I lose control and it slides out at the most inconvenient times. To remedy this problem, I've started wearing a comfortable harness that keeps the bulb snug in my slippery sex.

As an added bonus, it fits tight againt my clit as I pound him!

Enough about our sex toy bag. I only share that to give you an idea of the open, giving and experimental relationship we share. We've always agreed we could try ANYTHING, if the other was willing and no one was hurt, either physically or emotionally.

Things started to derail as a result of our e-mails the last few weeks of his deployment.

I, being from Venus, am more ethereal, focused on the emotion and intrigued by subtle descriptions and innuendo. I am totally aroused by his sexy letters. His detailed descriptions of what he plans to do with his tounge, hands, lips and yes, that throbbing cock, drive me wild. I can masturbate for hours rereading how he loves to pinch my nipples as they harden between his strong fingers. How he knows just when to pull them hard, so a tingling electric-like jolt travels to my pussy! Or, how he plans to massage my back till I feel like jello under the kneeding pressure of his talented hands.

He always seems to end these massage descriptions with one of my favorites, what he calls, "Ass Worshiping". He sensually describes warming some apple oil and dribbling it over my relaxed cheeks till it seeps down into my crack where the warm liquid pools on my soft smooth starfruit.

Then his hands begin caressing my shapely round butt, pushing the cheeks together, forcing one bun down while pushing the other one up, causing the oil to stay warm and slippery between my cheeks. During the tantalizingly slow massage, his thumbs slowly work their way toward my sensuous puckered asshole. Eventally they graze my now well lubed anus as he spreads my cheeks.

I always hold my breath at this point in anticipation of his hot probing tounge. He never fails to deliver and I truly do feel worshipped as he ever so slowly rims my tight ring. His tounge both excites and relaxes me at the same time. I always involuntarily push my rosebud toward that constantly probing tounge, trying to get it deeper. Fortunately, he is on his own timetable and never fails to make me shudder as he slides his tounge deep, past my outer sphincter muscles, tickling those sensitive inner sphincter muscles. Within seconds, his thumb is on my swollen clit. This combined with his darting tounge stretching my inner sphincter walls, ALWAYS brings me to an earth shattering orgasm!!

His writing in the e-mails is so venus, so sensual, immaginative, mand caring. They get me so friggin hot. What doesn't turn me on are his attachments.

The attachments are so Mars. So damned visual. So graphic and explicit, leaving nothing to the imagination. Hard, bright, glaring lights. No romantic candles or subtle shawdows that only hint at the pleasure being generated.

Guys get so turned on by porn while women need words. We fill in the blanks with our imagination.

Being from Mars, it was inevitable. He started sending some pictures with another woman in them.

I knew he had done two women when he was in high school. The part he said turned him on the most was when they were eating each others pussies. I'm totally hetero!

"I LOVE COCK," I shouted back in my e-mail reply. "I could never do another woman and it doesn't turn me on to even think about it."

So, what does he send next? A picture of two girls sucking a cock. The second, a guy eating a pussy while another girl is giving him a blowjob.

"I COULD NEVER SHARE YOU," I shout back. "It's you I want. Your hands on my body. Your lips on mine. Your tounge exploring my every crevice. Your cock in all my hot holes, don't you get it?"

"So you like all your holes filled, right?" He asks in his next e-mail. "Which picture do you like best?"

I open the three attachments. The first is a blonde with huge tits being fucked from behind and giving a large cock, attached to a real hunk, a sloppy blow job. I feel my cunt start to tingle. Then I open the second one and a hot blond, with a tight ass like mine, is taking it up the butt while fanatically sucking another hot guy. Her eyes are closed and it looks like she is really enjoying it. Hmmmmm, I notice my pussy is starting to get damp. The third is a petite brunette and she's on her knees impaled on two massive cocks. She has a look of pure ecstasy in her eyes. Now my pussy is dripping. I pull out my favorite clitoral stimulator and within seconds I'm shuddering in orgasm!

"I LOVE YOUR COCK, NOBODY ELSE'S! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, A SLUT?" I shout back, not wanting to give any hint of how turned on I actually was by those hot pictures. Remember, I'm supposed to be from Venus, right???

"So what about me?" He asks in his next e-mail. "You get off fucking my ass and shoving that strap-on down my throat till I gag, right. How about the real thing?"

Yuck, I think to myself. Then curiosity gets the best of me as I stare at the three attachment icons. My finger involuntary taps one. Up pops a big penis with a hot dude and cute chick licking both sides. She's looking in his eyes and they both look like kids sharing an ice cream cone, all smiles. Damn, I'm getting wet down there again!

Now I HAVE to see the second one. I quickly tap and this hot blonde is sitting on a granite kitchen counter with a stud pounding her pussy. Standing next to her ON THE COUNTER is another hunk and she's feeding his stiff penis into the mouth of the stud who is doing her. My pussy is throbbing and I haven't even touched it. As my breathing and heartbeat increase, I click the next icon, not knowing what to expect.

Bam, in my face is the same blonde, in a 69 position, lapping on the studs cock, while inches from her face, the other hunk is plowing away in his ass. OMG, I'm cumming and I haven't even touched myself. Just my jeans rubbing on my clit brought me to an awesome orgasm! I run upstairs, slip a butt plug in and start jamming a big silicon dildo back and forth in my pussy. I cum again in a few minutes, totally imaging another well hung stud in our bedroom!

"DISTURBING!" Is my one word reply. I can't even give a hint of how excited these pictures of another man doing me and my husband have gotten me!

"Sorry," he writes back sheepishly. "You said you liked cock and I know how much guys like watching chicks together. I thought you might like seeing two guys together. Doesn't it do ANYTHING for you?"

"FUCK NO!! You told me you blew a friend when you were 13, ARE YOU TURNING GAY ON ME!!" I reply, still feigning disgust! "I've told you before. I want you. I want you sexy words telling me what you will do to me. Just you, NO ONE ELSE!!"

"SORRY, just wanted to see if you'd share any fantasies with me. I really could do any of those thing with you, if it turned you on. I might have to be blindfolded so I didn't get jealous watching you do another guy, or see another guys face as I sucked his cock," he wrote, still pushing the idea.

"JUST DROP IT!" Was my terse reply, thinking to myself, 'a blindfold, huh?'

Now the gears were turning.

Brad and I love to use blindfolds and we occasionally do some light bondage. He actually has some ropes tied to the posts of our bed that stay tucked under the mattress when not being used. Well they were still there, dormant for the last eight month while he was deployed.

They were Part A of my rapidly emerging plan. Part B would be Dalmore, his favorite single malt scotch. Four or five big tumblers after eight months of no drinking on the ship and his senses would be suitably numbed and his inhibitions should be lowered. Part C would be Mark, an old friend, one time lover, from high school who I knew was bisexual.

I've never really thought of him in a sexual way since our short tryst but he would perfect for the plan I was hatching. I'd talk to him at the office tomorrow and see how his sex life was going.

-NEXT DAY IN THE STUDENT CAFETERIA-

"Can I join you," I asked as I slid over in the booth and gave him our normal casual hug.

"Sure," Mark replied. "How you holding out with Brad deployed? Isn't he due home next month?"

"Actually, he comes in next Thursday," I replied excitedly!!

"Wow, time flies, doesn't it"

"Hell no! Not when you haven't had sex for those eight months," I replied in my best pouty

voice.

"Yeah, I can relate. Haven't had anybody except Mr. Leftie myself for about three months," he joked, trying to appear it wasn't a big deal. I could tell he was a bit in the dumps about it.

"Sorry to hear that," I replied, secretly grinning inside.

See, I know Mark is a pretty highly sexual kind of guy. He was the first guy to tounge my asshole, as a junior in high school! What an impression that made on me. I actually hadn't found anyone else who was into that, until Brad came into my life nine years later.

Eager ass lickers are a rare commodity!

Sorry, back to our conservation.

"Brad's been sending me these weird e-mails about his at sea fantasies. Guess he's just as pent up and frustrated as I am," I replied, throwing the bait out to see if he'd bite.

"Weird how?" he asked, giving me his undivided attention.

Bingo! Hooked.

Now, can I actually land this hunk and feel good about myself. The feeling in my crotch and my pounding heartbeat were giving me conflicting messages. Should I follow my heart or my rapidly warming loins, I asked myself?

Taking a deep breath, I realized my loins were gonna win.

"Dee," he said, "Earth to Dee. They must have been some really good e-mails. You were a million miles away."

"Not really. They weren't exactly good," I stammered.

"Really, I would think he would be dying to get in those pants and get some of that luscious ass," he replied jokingly, reminding me of our night together.

"Yeah, but that's not all he wants," I replied, looking into his eyes to see if he was following my hints.

"Well of course not," he laughed. "He's gonna want some pussy first and I'd imagine he's fantasizing about that mouth of yours too. I know I do. You made quite an impression, even as a little high school Junior."

"Yeah, he wants all that," I said, now sounding a little less sure of myself.

Mark frowned, thinking to himself. Looking confused, I could tell he wasn't connecting the dots and I was going to have to spell it out.

"Is there someone else? Is that son of a bitch having an affair," he asked?

"Nope, but he does want someone else," I finally blurted out.

"Who," he asked, still not getting it.

"Anyone, someone. I don't know. A guy or a girl, just someone to spice things up."

It all came pouring out. The teasing hints, the pictures...guys...girls...I'm not into girls. Never have been...it's gross...guys...two guys. My words were coming out all jumbled.

Finally I, I took a deep breath, then blurted it out. "Mark, the pictures with the guys turned me on!! I almost came just looking at them. First a chick with two guys. She looked so hot doing that. Then some more pictures of a hot hunk and his girl doing another stud. I think I came without touching myself when I saw those".

"What did you tell him him," Mark asked?

" I said I was DISTURBED!!"

"I callled him gay!"

"Dee, slow down! Let's go for a walk before any of the coeds hear you spilling you soul," taking my hand and leading us from our lunches.

"Once outside, I started to calm down and think straight. We sat down on a bench by the gym and Mark said, "Dee, look around. You're a hot professor. Any one of those hunks coming out of the gym would love to give their best shot at pleasing you."

"But how many would do Brad," I asked?

"Well, that IS a problem. You might be suprised but some would, just for a chance to do YOU. But you're right. I think...

"Mark," I interrupted. "It has to be you," there, it was out there. Eager to convince him, I continued.

"I TRUST you. You don't kiss and tell. I know you're great in bed and you might not mind being with Brad."

Silence. Shit, he thinks I'm crazy.

"What do you think?" I'm basically pleading for an answer now!

More silence as he eyed md stoically.

Finally, he grinned and said, "Dee, I'd walk across a mile off glass to lick that hot ass of yours again"!

I smiled and lowered my gaze as my cheeks flushed. I realised I'd been holding my breath waiting for a reply!

He continued, "As for Brad, you married a hottie. If you think he's alright with this, I've been craving a nice hot cock for three months now."

We talked for another hour. I told him my plans with the blindfold and the Scotch. He was real helpful and made some interesting suggestions. I should get waxed and do an anal douche before I met his ship. He would do the same. He would give us two hours and then sneak in. By that time I would have Brad tied up and blindfolded. We would meet downstairs and rub apple oil all over our bodies, so Brad might not realize who's ass was on his mouth or who's lips were on his cock. Eventually, we'd both touch him together and see what his reaction would be.

-THE BIG DAY-

Brad litterally ran all the way down the pier and into my arms. None of the wives were into small talk. It was a quick hug and off to the car. Brad let me drive, so I handed him the remote for the egg vibrator, ensconced deep in my hot, wet, freshly waxed pussy. He had a great time changing up the speed every time I let my foot off the gas. My pussy was dripping and his strong hands made their way to my swollen lips. He kneeded my thighs open and the tips of his fingers parted my glistening lips. Then he took his fingers, smelled my essence and sucked them clean.

Needless to say, it was an exhilarating ride home. I'm glad we only live 10 minutes from the base because all the miny orgasms were making me an obvious road hazard.

Once in the house, we beelined to the master bedroom. My top was off before I hit the bed and Brad's pants, shoes and socks left a debris trail streching from the front door, all the way to the bed.

He literally ripped my skirt off and dove right between my legs. His hot tounge had me coming in a matter of seconds, as he turned the egg to full blast, deep pulses. I must have cum for three minutes!

I reached over to the nightstand and fixed his first tumbler of Dalmore. Two ice cubes from the bucket and one finger water with three fingers Scotch. He drank half in the first three gulps! I fixed myself a glass of Chardonnay, clinked his glass and said, "Welcome sailor, bottoms up!"

As he finished his scotch and began fixing his second, I filled my mouth with cool chardonnay and slowly slipped my lips over his hot throbbing shaft.

"Ah," he moaned. "That feels so wonderful! Your lips are so hot and that wine is soo cool. I'm just gonna lay back and let you play to your hearts content, while I play with your egg," He then turned it down to its lowest setting, knowing I'd want to concentrate on the swollen penis in my mouth.

I moaned my approval around his engorged penis, swallowed my wine and then took him deep in my throat. He's just big enough that I can't reach his balls with my lips when I deep throat him. I've only had that problem with one other guy and it's a problem I love having!!

That penis, plus his talented tounge and his willingness to ream my asshole with it, make him a true one in a million! I plan on making him melt into the sheets before Mark shows up.

I continue to slowly work his cock. I judge my progress by his moans of approval. He responds as I swirl my tounge around his head and tease that sensitive area under his head. My hand milks his shaft and I am rewarded by an oozing of precum.

Yummmm, I've missed that!

I slide my lips along the underside of his shaft and gently take one tight ball into my mouth, trying to loosen their tightness, to no avail. He moans his approval between sips of Dalmore.

I slowly work my way to his left nipple and tease it with my tounge, then my teeth as it gets harder.

I reach down and remove the pulsating egg from my dripping pussy. As he takes another sip of scotch, I mount his hard hot pole and it slides in, filling me with a warmth and fullness I've missed for the last eight months.

He sets his drink down and grabs my ass cheeks, rocking me on his throbbing shaft. I'm filled to my deepest depths. My mouth finds his and we eagerly explore each others lips and mouth. I taste my essence on his lips and sigh as I think of the pleasure those lips gave my cunt!

Our rocking begins to increase in urgency. I feel his fingers begin to increase their grip on my round full ass cheeks. Our breathing increases and I feel his cock begin to expand and stretch my deepest depth, pressing on my cervix with a pleasent fullness. My clit is wedged on his pubic bone and I begin to feel it harden as my orgasm approaches. The head of his penis is reaching its maximum girth and I know we are going to "Cum Together".

I begin humming the tune in his mouth and in seconds, feel his hot seed spurt deep in my pussy. This causes me to go over the brink and my body convulses. I shudder as the muscles deep in my cunt, milk spurt after spurt from his hot hard shaft.

I bury my face in his shoulder as tears form in my eyes and mumble, "Welcome home honey, I love you so much. Was that enough to make you happy?"

He shudders as his cock gives one last spasm and says, "Whatever you do makes me happy. I love you so much!"

"You know I'd do anything to make you happy, don't you?"

"Of course I do," he replies, as his cock slowly deflates inside of me.

I pour a third glass of scotch and hand it to him, as his now limp cock slides out of my pulsating, throbbing pussy. I give a little whine as I bend down and take his now soft cock in my mouth. I clean his seed and my juices off his soft shaft and loose balls. He moans his approval as I ensure his cock and balls are clean for round two.

"I'm going to bring up dinner in bed. Just relax and enjoy your scotch," I say as I walk slowley away, naked and in love, to fix my man's dinner.

On the way to the kitchen I unlock the front door, hoping I'm doing the right thing...bringing in Mark to fulfill my husbands and, I HAVE TO ADMIT, now my fantasies too.

-BLINDFOLDED DINNER: SERVED BY TWO-

I was in the kitchen, still completely nude, making preperations for our dinner surprise, when Mark let himself in. I had already lubed up the head of my feeldoe and the bulb was snug in my hot wet box. As I was adjusting the harness, I felt arms reach from behind and playfully squeeze my breasts. I initially thought it was Brad, since I hadn't heard the front door open. When I was pulled againt a fully clothed body with a big hard on, I realized it was Mark.