How Does One Describe Control?

How does one describe control? The rush of power? I've noticed throughout my life that most people have a limited understanding of power and an even more limited use of it. They think power is crude tools like violence, coercion, or manipulation. But those are ways to use power, not power itself. Power itself isn't crude; it's majestic. Power isn't forceful; it's unyielding.

Power isn't a lion claiming its territory, even as the cells inside it are slowly dying. Power is the sea rising up to cover the land because that's what the sea does.

When I was a kid, I watched an abusive, drunken father beat my mother. As soon as I understood that I could stop him, I did. I froze him and mother in time, in a cocoon of stasis, and brought it right into the middle of the local precinct. I let it unfreeze and watched as a room full of cops saw the routine that I had seen so many times.

That was the end of his presence in our lives. I knew my mom wouldn't understand what had happened even if I tried to explain, so I didn't try. I let her believe her memory had blanked and dad had lost his temper in front of everyone.

As I grew, I watched kids bully other kids. I watched friends betray one another. I stepped in when I couldn't take anymore, but what worked for my dad didn't work here. Kids were more easily forgiven and forgotten. I began to realize that I was making feeble attempts to force people out of my life who caused me to feel pain. It was a temporary solution with no long-term gain.

I became very protective of one girl. Kayla. But I couldn't even find it in myself to befriend her.

I withdrew more and more into myself as the years went by, trying to understand how to overcome the base needs in me. I had been given a control over the world beyond anything that most people could even imagine, but I was using it in petty, simple ways. I needed to be like the ocean. I needed to be unyielding, not forceful. I needed to be majestic, not crude.

At the beginning of high school, everything changed. I can't understand why, even looking back, but when I was walking home from school and saw Kayla looking dejected, while her friend Raina called her "worthless" and "nothing," something inside me snapped. Maybe it reminded me of my dad abusing my mom.

I didn't do anything then, but I swore to myself that Raina would never to talk to her like that again. I watched Raina carefully for the next few days and found an opportunity to corner her when no one would be around. I'd have about five minutes before someone showed up. I needed to act fast.

When I cornered her, Raina acted as I expected. Surprised at first, then indignant. There was even a twinge of fear.

"I heard what you called Kayla," I said. I tried to keep my voice steady and devoid of emotion, but I barely knew what I was doing and I cared about Kayla a lot. Some anger had slipped in and judging by the increased fear in Raina's eyes, she noticed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. She gulped, her eyes flickering back and forth like crazy.

Some primal instinct in me took over, perhaps the same instinct that had made me powerful, and I backed up. I took a deep breath and let the emotion drain out of me. Then I held up a hand and said, "I know that behavior will stop." And left.

As soon as I was out of her sight, I crumpled against the wall, shaking like a leaf. I didn't understand at the time what I had done, but something had happened. That much I knew. And it had drained me like nothing had ever drained me before. I convinced the school nurse that I was sick and spent the rest of the day in bed. I was weak enough that mom assumed I'd caught something and made me some soup.

Eating did restore my energy, surprisingly. The action I'd taken seemed to have tapped right into my metabolism. Burned off, as I would learn later, a lot of calories. Like a big workout. But I also felt a certain excitement. I could feel myself on the cusp of what I had been looking for. I started practicing in little ways. Telling people things as if they were already true, to find out later that the "truth" had been carried out, like an order.

With more practice, it took a lot more to drain me. In a few years, as high school came close to an end, I was walking down the halls with more confidence than the cockiest jock. No one stopped or stared though. It wasn't that kind of confidence. It was as if I was simply a part of the landscape. I was a supporting pillar of the school, holding it up.

Kayla was happier now and more secure in herself. She and Raina had become inseparable, and both seemed like different people. Full of positivity and zeal for life. It made me happy to see Kayla happy, but it saddened me realizing that I'd never fully introduced myself. I decided I must do so before the year ended. If nothing else, I needed to know that I had truly met her.

Time went by too fast and on the last day of class, I finally got my chance to talk to her alone. Raina was sick at home and Kayla looked happy, but also a bit like a lost puppy, as she swapped books in her locker after the first class of the day.

I approached her and got her attention by tapping her on the shoulder. She whirled in excited delight and then her face fell into a puzzled expression.

"Where do I know you from?" she said. She seemed to be trying to remember a long lost friend.

"I'm James," I said, reaching out a hand.

"James." She shook it and her face split into a grin. She repeated the name and giggled, "James."

"That's my name."

Understanding sparked in her eyes, "Hold on, I know where I've seen you."

It's hard to describe the look that crossed her face in that moment. It was like a person had been staring at the sun in the morning for years and had only just now realized what a sunset looks like.

"You're practically invisible," she whispered in awe, "you know that, right?"

I frowned in a mixture of confusion and fear. I thought, for a brief moment, that she was insulting me.

"I'm sorry," she added quickly, "it's just you blend in. But not in a bad way, you know? I'm sorry if that makes no sense." She put a hand to her head. "I'm not usually like this. I'm..." She looked at me expectantly.

"You're really turned on," I said. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I hadn't even meant it as a command and to this day, I'm not sure if it was one. She didn't seem to have needed any urging.

As soon as the words I said registered, she turned bright red. She grabbed me by the arm and stroked the length of it, slowly, twisting in place.

"Would you..." she said, biting her lip, "like to take a moment somewhere more... private? I mean, you don't have to, it's just we're so close to graduation, you know, and my mom gets really mad at the thought of me doing anything with guys, but I'm eighteen and you're eighteen too... right?"

I nodded numbly.

"Right. So she can't be mad. I know those eyes you're giving me. They're the eyes guys give me when they want to... to..." she leaned forward and whispered in my ear.

My eyes widened and she giggled at my reaction.

I was stunned. This was beyond anything I had anticipated. But after a few beats of standing there, beats that felt like an eternity, I realized that she was just going to stroke my arm all day and give me bedroom eyes if I didn't do anything. The sturdiness I had practiced wasn't something she could even begin to fathom fighting with. For her to try to drag me into it would be like trying to move a river.

Knowing the intelligence that went into her patience sent me over the edge. I touched her hair with a hand and smiled.

"You lead, I'll follow."

She seemed to sense that even without her grip, I would be right behind. She let go of my arm and half-skipped along a few corridors and into an abandoned classroom. She locked the door and leaned against it, giggling. With a few deft movements, she had her clothing off and strutted toward her naked, like she was a model on a catwalk.

She looked in that moment like an angel to me. Curly, light blonde hair circled her head like a halo. Her milky white skin was smooth and her body curved in all the right places. There were things I wanted to do to her that I couldn't even begin to describe.

"Have you ever done this before?" she said softly, as she hooked a hand on my shirt.

"No," I said, feeling awkward, but confident. "I suppose I should take my clothes off."

She giggled at that and helped my fingers get it all on the floor in record time. We stood next to each other, a hair's breadth away. Her hands found my back and slid their way up and down, one of them sliding down and cupping my balls.

I placed one of my hands on her back and the other behind her head. We looked into each other's eyes like it was a romantic moment in a movie. I really did get lost in her blue eyes for a moment, staring at the life in them, ensconced in her beauty.

One of my hands slid down between her legs and I was surprised to find that she was already soaking wet. I slid a finger inside her pussy and she squirmed and gasped, giggling and growling with intermingled lust and surprise.

It was my first time with a girl, but I knew a thing or two about how it was supposed to work. I just didn't know a thing about technique. I fumbled with her pussy, pressing here and sliding there, hoping to get a reaction. When it didn't seem to be going anywhere, I had a wicked thought. I tried to push the thought away, but it kept coming back.

While I fought with the thought, one of her hands had found my cock and was sliding along, sending shivers of pleasure through me. Rational thought was fast disappearing and the wicked thought was becoming more and more enticing. When she pulled my fingers out and knelt down in front of me, looking up at me with doe eyes, before wrapping her mouth around my cock, it was too much.

"Kayla?" I said.

"Mmm," she responded, while she moved her mouth up and down on my cock.

"It would feel really good to cum right now... wouldn't it?"

She stopped sucking and looked up at me. Our eyes connected. Surprise registered. Her eyes rolled backward and she pulled her mouth off of me in surprise, rolling onto her back and clutching at her pussy. She rolled around the ground, gasping in pleasure, saying, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

I got down on the ground near her and when she had finally stopped rolling around, laid a gentle hand on her thigh. Her hands were still between her legs. She was panting, her face flushed red, her chest heaving.

"Never..." she gasped, "in my life... before... like... that. Oh my god."

"How?" she swallowed and laughed in pure ecstasy, "the hell?"

I was at a loss for words. I wanted to explain, but for all of my confidence, this was one area where I was certain telling her would go wrong. She wouldn't believe, or would think me some kind of freak. Either way, she would never talk to me again. Certainly never do... this, again.

"Silent treatment, huh?" she said. She managed to pull herself into a sitting position and tried to stare me down.

I just stared back blankly.

"You really are something," she said.

When that yielded no response, she tried again.

She leaned in close and whispered, "I won't think you're a freak."

I couldn't withhold my surprise. It was as if she'd gone peeking into my mind and seen the words. Was I that transparent or was she that perceptive?

"It's hard to explain," I said.

She nodded sagely, "I would expect it to be."

Feeling safer with her straightforward acknowledgement, I continued, "I can control things. Time, objects, people."

"You didn't make me come in here, did you?" There was fear and doubt in her voice.

"No," I said. I tried to say it calmly, but it was like a flashback to the day I had talked to her friend Raina. Anger showed. This time, anger at the idea that I would use my power with such indiscretion.

She reeled like she'd been slapped. "I believe you." Then she looked away and shivered. "I don't know why, but I do. I feel safe with you, too."

"I don't know everything about my power," I said. "If you get to know me, it will be as much my journey as yours."

She smiled and pecked me on the cheek. "I'd love to be a part of your journey, James."

I pulled her into a fumbling, full-on mouth kiss, all passion and no technique. It was sloppy, but it didn't matter to me. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to simultaneously bury my cock in her and marry her. I didn't marry her then, but I did bury my cock in her. She maneuvered us into a cowgirl position and worked her hips, driving us both to the edge.

"I may not have crazy mind powers," she said. "But I can teach you a thing or two about... this." She twisted her hips and I felt my cock squeeze, letting a rush of cum burst forth. I gasped in pleasure, grabbing onto her hips, even as she continued to work her hips, squeezing my cock, pushing out the last drops of cum.

"But for now," she said, as she squirmed on top of me. "How about you give me another hit?" She leaned forward and nibbled on my ear.

I gasped, trying to hold onto my careful unyielding control.

"You'd... love..." I said.

"I can't hear you, darling," she whispered into my ear.

With a surge like a pent up hose, I felt energy rush through me. It was like I was hitting my second wind. I felt my confidence return in full strength. I straightened up and lifted her off of me, laying her down on her back and lifting her legs up into the air. She smiled at me, expecting some fumbling attempt to arouse her.

But the positioning was just for show. I held her legs in the air and said, "I know you're going to cum very very hard for me, Kayla."

She gasped and squirted, her juices flowing forth. She grasped at the hardwood floor, trying to find something to grab onto. Her face flushed and her legs twitched in my grasp.

"Oh fuck," she said, as she rode the wave of pleasure, "oh fuck, James, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck."

While she squirmed and panted and moaned in pleasure, I maneuvered my hands down her legs and stroked her thighs. It sent her into a frenzy, cumming even harder, her hips rising off the ground and thrusting, only to fall back down onto the floor with a thunk.

"Does it..." she panted, "stop... oh my god."

Her breathing slowed a little and her pussy twitched visibly below me. Her chest heaved and her nipples stood out like rocks. Her curly hair was everywhere with sweat, strands all over her smooth face.

I let her legs down on the floor and brushed the hair out of her face. Her forehead was covered in sweat, but I bent down and kissed it anyway, loving the taste of her.

When I came back up, she was just staring at me blankly, while her chest moved up and down.

"James..."

"Yeah?"

"I feel a little outmatched. I'm going to have to work extra hard to give you the experience you just gave me, aren't I?"

I smiled and lay down on the floor next to her, letting one of my arms fall across her chest. "You'll have plenty of time to figure it out."