How I Landed My Girlfriend

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College nerd gets the beauty as a girlfriend.
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As always:

Thanks to rf-fast for editing. Your insights were a welcome addition.


I was scampering home. I know, I know, but it's true. I wasn't in a hurry, rushing, going quickly, or any other verb. I truly felt like a rat on the wheel with a piece of cheese in front of it. For the first time ever, a girl was coming to my house.

It all started with an accident in my freshman chemistry class. I loved chemistry and I was going to make a career out of it. With my vision set and a full scholarship to State University, I was on my way. I did my best to ingratiate myself with the faculty, especially the leading chemistry professor, Dr. David James and I was glad I did. He allowed me to sit in on lectures, involved me on some of his personal projects and when he could, professional ones as well and even took me to a conference that was being held nearby. I probably spent more time with him than my fellow students. It didn't matter to me; I was dedicated to my career. If you wanted to go the psychological route, it may have had something to do with my father leaving when I was seven or the fact my mom remarried four years ago to a guy I thought was creepy who, ironically, was a police psychologist for the state and probably the one to ask about why I didn't socialize very much. Then again, I'm a chemist and not a psychologist. The only damper was that I never had a girl in my life. That is unless you count the terabytes of porn I have. Yes, that word was plural.

"What the hell are you doing Paige?" Dr. James called out, "Fuck – Everyone out NOW! Leave everything and go!"

With his exaggerated motions, the class quickly dispersed for the exits. Everyone from the building pooled outside, curious as to why we were being evacuated. Hazmat showed up and stormed the building as if they were on a beach in Normandy as I finally cut through the throngs of people and into the company of my professor.

"What happened?" I pushed up my black rimmed glasses with one hand and readjusted my backpack with the other. Despite being told to abandon everything, no way was I leaving it behind, it was my precious.

Dr. James was rubbing his forehead, "I give the class an easy mixture of hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide and Paige decides she wants to use sodium cyanide instead. What should have been common table salt turned into a poisonous hydrogen gas."

I chuckled and he shot me a dirty look. "What did you expect from a person who chose sorority life instead of concentrating on college?" I knew I was being stereotypical and I only said it for a laugh. In all actuality, I had never met Paige Pierson.

"I don't know what to do with her, halfway through the semester and she's still making stupid mistakes. I can't keep an eye on one when I have a whole class to deal with." Dr. James took a deep breath and stared at me for a moment. "What about you, Tyler, huh, interested in babysitting for me?"

I laughed. He just looked at me. "Are you serious?"

"I was thinking, I could pair off the class and everyone can have a lab partner. I normally don't do that for my freshman class because I want everyone to have hands on experience and the mixtures are so basic but Paige is definitely making me rethink that notion. At least this way, I can make sure she's paired up with you and the school won't burn down."

"But Sir, what about my studies? I really don't want to be dragged down by the class ditz."

"She's not that bad, she's pulling in a 'C,' it's just that she doesn't concentrate during the lab exercises." Dr. James must have noticed my still less than enthused facial expression and decided to sweeten the pot. "I'll tell you what, I'll convince the Board of Trustees to let me take a prized pupil with me to the Global Chemical Convention in Munich."

That got my attention and I couldn't help my eyes from going wide and the goofy grin now plastered on my face. I suppose I could help the dirty blonde haired slightly air headed girl with some basic chemistry for a chance to go to Munich.

Dr. James put his arm around my shoulder. "That's a yes," he laughed.

It took hazmat a week before they gave the green light for classes to resume, but I think they were milking the clock. Dr. James wasted no time. One second after class began, he announced his decision to divide the class into pairs and that they were chosen at "random." The students reshuffled their seats and I was no exception. I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair and stood. Somehow, I just knew I was going to be doing all the work while she spent all her time on Facebook or something. At least she was good eye candy, she could have a starring role in my late night fantasies – "Oh, Tyler, your knowledge of chemistry makes me so horny." Before I could take a step, however, a female voice interrupted my reverie.

"You're Tyler Morgan, aren't you?"

It was Paige. I always knew she was attractive but seeing her right next to me versus across the room with forty people separating us, well, it was obvious I was underestimating her looks. Her locks had a slight, natural curl to them, her eyes were like sparkling emeralds, her body was an hourglass, but her dimples are what really made her stand out as they made her absolutely adorable. "Yes I am."

"Hi, I'm Paige." She set down her bag at the desk next to mine. "I guess that means we're partners."

"I guess so," I chuckled.

"And you're the one that shatters the curve on all the tests we have?"

"Uh..."

"I thought so." Paige shook her head and then muttered under her breath, "Random my ass..." Then in a much more pleasant tone she continued, "Listen, I know why we were teamed up together so do you think you could help?"

"With what?"

"I'm majoring in chemistry and I'm getting a 'C' in the freshman class. Can you help me get better?"

"Of course." I was ecstatic at her words. If she had the incentive, then I wasn't going to be doing all the work. She'll actually give a damn.

"Great. How about we start tonight at your place?"

This was happening all too fast. "Um, all right."

"It's a date."

My body went stiff, "What?" I barely got the word out.

"It's a study date." Paige giggled. "Geez, lighten up. It's not like you and I would ever be together on a real date."

And there it was. The fatal blow to my ego. The wooden stake through the heart. The silver bullet. But I didn't care. Though it was a study date, a girl was going to come over to my house and into my room. Even if I didn't have a shot, how often was this going to happen? In my mind, I can always play this back as my first official date, even though it wasn't.

And so I was scampering home. I waited until the end of class, of course, but I left for home immediately. I had to get prepared for Paige's arrival. My chemistry books, my notes, a few common household items that I can use to demonstrate chemistry in a fun way. Most importantly, I had to clean my room.

"Hey son," my stepfather called out as I rushed through the house. "How's it going?"

I rolled my eyes. Something about him always bothered me. He would always greet me but after that, we just kept to ourselves. "Fine Ray."

He shook his head as if he was disappointed with my response, which was typical for him and I continued up the stairs to my room, which was typical for me. I had an hour to get ready and I felt I needed every second of it. I was hard at work when the doorbell rang. I glanced at the clock to notice my hour was up. I hustled down the stairs to welcome my guest. "I got it!" Coming from upstairs, I didn't make it in time. "Hi mom, when did you get home?"

"A few minutes ago, you didn't tell me we were going to have a guest." Mom gave an enthusiastic smile, "And such a pretty one at that."

"She's just here to study, that's all." I lowered my head in embarrassment. "We're all set in my room, Paige."

"I'll bring up some dinner for you in a little bit!" Mom was more excited about this than I was and she was determined to improve my nonexistent chances with this girl.

I offered to handle Paige's school bag and she accepted. As I turned to head upstairs, I saw Ray leering at my lab partner. Right in front of mom. It was just another instance that made me question why my mom married him. She was in her mid-forties and still attractive for her age while he was slightly older, going bald, and had a potbelly. His appearance aside, what really bothered me was how he treated her. He wasn't mean, per se, but he seemed to have her in the palm of his hand. Whatever he said, she did, happily. As long as she was happy, I suppose.

I didn't have time to think about that however, I had a date. Paige and I sat down at my desk and we started. She impressed me with her thirst for knowledge. She was really taking this seriously. I did a couple demonstrations and her eyes lit up. We had just begun with our reaction questions, where we had to write the equations based on the reaction named, when there came a light rapping on my chamber door.

"Dinner's ready."

I opened the door to find my mom had a tray with two plates and two glasses of cola. She had made a simple meal of spaghetti, perhaps wanting to encourage us to reenact the scene from 'Lady and the Tramp.' It wasn't going to happen.

"Thanks, mom."

"You're welcome. And thanks for being polite – That's my son, always the gentleman."

"Thanks mom," I was insistent in my tone this time and mom took the hint.

"Well, if you need anything else, don't be afraid to ask."

"Or I can get it myself," I rolled my eyes as she shut the door. "Sorry about that."

"It's all right," Paige laughed. "Since we seem to be taking a break, I have to use the restroom."

"Certainly, it's at the end of the hall."

"Thanks."

I have to admit, I was skeptical before but now I was positive that I would file this away as my first date. Paige was fun to be around, her laugh infectious, and her smile unparalleled. And we talked too. She told a few stories about her initiation with Tri Gamma Deltas and I glossed over some of the non-educational practices of our professor. If the rest of the semester achieved what this evening has provided, I was going to enjoy chemistry like I never had before, and I don't mean class. If she couldn't possibly be my girlfriend, perhaps she could be my girl friend. Amazing how one little space can differentiate meaning. Besides, there is nothing wrong with fantasizing.

I was getting slightly worried as it was taking Paige a long time to come back from the bathroom. I didn't want to go check on her, I mean, how weird would that look? But as more time passed, I found myself wanting to do just that. When the clock hit the forty-five minute mark, I decided to search for my lab partner. I wouldn't be surprised, and I mean not at all, if she had left after what happened with my mom. I opened my bedroom door and Paige was standing right there, her right hand was reaching out toward the handle that was no longer right in front of her.

Her presence was startling to me. I just wasn't expecting it. I squeaked out an, "Oh," as my body quivered.

"You're cute," Paige giggled. "Did I scare you?" Her breasts brushed up against me as she entered the room.

"Just a little," I unconsciously rubbed my hand against the place where her chest had touched me.

Paige grabbed the tray and sat on my bed, "Are you going to join me?" Her hand was lightly massaging the area of the comforter right next to her.

It would have been easier for both of us to eat at my desk but I wasn't about to argue. I moved tentatively to the desired position, more because I was expecting her to laugh at me and claim, 'I can't believe you thought I was serious?' Instead of sitting right next to her, I sat on the edge of the bed and took hold of my plate. She slid closer to me. All through our meal, we ate in silence. I was too nervous to say anything and she was too busy to say anything. Her thigh was rubbing my leg. In between bites, her hand would brush up against my arm or my neck. And her hips, they kept sliding closer until she was at my side.

I finished my meal and took a drink, "Shall we get back to our reactions?"

"I just have a little left. Here, have some of mine." Paige grabbed both our forks and put the remaining spaghetti between the two. She handed me my fork as she moved hers to her mouth. She seemed oblivious that a couple noodles stretched the utensils.

Her head came closer to mine. I gulped down my mouthful, "Uh."

Paige dropped her fork and let her plate fall to the floor. She had a smile I've never seen before on a girl as our lips met. It started out as just a light touching but soon that wasn't enough for her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, parted her lips, and then her tongue forced entry into my mouth. Not that I was fighting her, but I was quickly entering uncharted territory.

I did my best to mimic Paige's movements and she mewled. This kiss was the most erotic adventure I have ever been on, and it was just a kiss. But I did nothing else. I made no move to advance things further. I just sat there, my hands still grasping my plate. Her words of "not like you and I would ever be together," were still echoing in my head and I didn't want to remind her she was kissing me. She finally broke our moment of heaven and as she pulled back, she was smiling.

"Wow," I breathed out. I was definitely going to have to thank mom for the spaghetti.

"You really are a gentleman. You didn't try anything," Paige giggled. "I have to admit, you usually aren't the type of guy I normally go for but there's just something about you." She licked her lips, "Here, let me help you." She took off her bra from underneath her shirt, a move that impressed me. She then grabbed my plate and tossed it on the floor as well. Her hands met mine and she moved them under her shirt and placed them on her breasts. On contact, her eyes closed and her body shivered, as if a bolt of electricity shot through it. "Oh God, what was that?"

I had barely moved my hands and stopped at her words, "What was what?"

Paige's eyes opened, "Please, play with them more. Do whatever you like, just keep touching me."

I did. I molded. I shaped. I groped. In other words, I molested Paige. I was unsure of what I was doing but she didn't seem to mind. I know I didn't. I then tweaked her nipples.

"Holy fuck! Uuugggghhh!" Paige groaned. Her knuckles went white as she clutched the blanket and her body seized.

Paige's breath was labored as she collapsed into my body and I cradled her in my arms, "Are you all right?"

"You really are naïve," Paige gave a half smile.

"Guilty," I smiled back.

"How can someone so innocent when it comes to sex be able to do that to me?"

"Do what?"

Paige leaned up to give me a brief kiss, "I never had an orgasm from someone just playing with my boobs before, not even myself." My eyes wide, mouth agape look of shock caused her to chuckle. "Listen, um, I hope you won't think less of me but can we..." She trapped her lower lip in her teeth as her hand snaked down to my crotch.

I felt as if I was in the twilight zone or a porn movie. Either way... "No." I gently removed her hand.

"What?" Paige lifted herself away from me, "What did you say?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't want my first time to be with my parents downstairs and with a girl who will hate me tomorrow."

"I won't hate you. I love you."

I was in complete shock. For the first time, a girl who was not my mom declared she loved me.

Paige, however, looked as if she just ate a lemon. "Fuck," she quickly grabbed her book bag as she ran out of my room, mumbling, "I can't believe I said that, now he'll think I'm a freak."

It only took a moment to realize that for one, I'm stupid. Stupid isn't even the word for passing up sex with Paige Pierson. I just missed a golden opportunity that I cannot see happening again. And two, I fucked up somehow. I really liked her and I forced her to run away. I sprinted downstairs, "Paige, wait!" It came out too late, as she was already gone.

"How'd you fuck that up?" Ray's voice came from behind.

I turned to see my stepfather, sitting on the couch, drinking a beer with my mom cuddled into his side, sleeping.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing." Ray sat there with a peculiar amused look and it appeared that he was struggling to not laugh at me.

"Goodnight," I mumbled as I headed back upstairs. As soon as I was out of sight, Ray did laugh. Hard. "Asshole," I muttered as I slammed my bedroom door.

Two days later, I was a nervous wreck walking into chemistry class. I hadn't seen Paige since the incident at my house, not like I keep the company of sorority girls and frat guys and it was apparent she doesn't hang out where you can normally find me, either the chem lab or the library. I took my seat, my eyes constantly going back and forth from the door to the clock as if I was a cat following a laser pointer.

It was all for naught because Paige never came. I resolved to wait until class was over so I could ask Dr. James if he had heard anything. Not that I thought he was her keeper or anything, but maybe, just maybe...

It was the longest class of my life. My mind couldn't comprehend what I was feeling any more than it could process the wonderful uses bismuth has to offer. As soon as the student body was dismissed, I stood and proceeded to head over to Dr. James. What was odd was that he was on his way towards me.

"Dr. James, have you..."

My professor chuckled as he put his hand on my shoulder, "Looks like you're going to Munich for only one day's worth of work.

"Huh?"

"Paige, oh, did she not tell you? She dropped the class this morning." He snickered again, "But a deals a deal."

Something didn't add up. Paige said she wanted to be a chemist. It didn't make sense for her to do this. Did she drop the class over me? "Do you think you could wait to process her drop?"

"She's only missed the one class." Dr. James began rubbing his black and grey beard, "But why?"

"Please, for me?"

"Certainly, but Paige would still have to..."

As soon as he said 'certainly,' I flung my bag over my shoulder and took off. "Thanks Dr. James, you've been a big help."

I ran to the Tri Gamma Delta sorority house and since I was out of shape, I arrived on their front porch with my hands on my knees, huffing for precious oxygen, just waiting for shooting pains to course through my left arm. I heard a pair of giggles from behind, but I couldn't move for fear of death. Two girls brushed by me as they tried to hold in their laughter, which I assumed I was the cause.

"Can we help you?" The curvy, busty brunette asked.

A stunning athletic looking brown haired girl added, "Are you lost or something?"

I took one last deep breath, the one that allowed me to compose myself. "I'm here to see Paige Pierson."

"And you are?" The brunette inquired.

"Tyler Morgan."

"Wait, you're Tyler?" The shock apparent in the brown haired girl's voice. "You're the guy Paige is hung up on?"

"Mr. Magic hands?" The brunette added, surprised herself.

"Uh," my cheeks went crimson with that last comment. I pushed up my glasses to the bridge of my nose and gave a quick swipe across my brow. "Is Paige here? I really need to talk to her."

"We'll see," the brown haired girl answered. "Wait here."

They both entered the house. As the door shut, I heard laughter and the words "Oh my God," and "I know, right?" being exclaimed.

Minutes later, Paige appeared. "Hi Tyler." Her eyes were glued to the sidewalk.

"Paige, I came here to apologize. I'm not sure what I did to make you run away, but it had to be my fault. I've never been in that situation with a girl and I didn't know how to react. So once again, I'm sorry. With that said, don't drop Dr. James' class. If you're serious about becoming a chemist, and I know you are, he's the best State U has to offer to get you there. If you feel we can't share the same class, then I'll switch into his other freshman chemistry class. He'll let me. But don t hurt your future over me." I said my peace and started walking away.

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