How I Met Your Mother

"No, no, that's okay – I'll have the final draft finished by then so you can come by and pick it up." Andrew Hargreaves said as he cradled the telephone in the crook of his neck. On the other end of the line was his editor and agent, Diana Ingram. There was a gentle yet insistent tugging sensation on his right leg. He looked down into a pair of big blue eyes looking up at him and an expression that was displaying growing frustration with his lack of attention. Oooh, where have I seen that look before? Andrew thought as he tried to finish the conversation as quickly as possible. "Yeah, yeah, that will be great Diana, Leah has been rabbitting on about getting together for dinner anyway, so it will be good to hang out for an evening with adult conversation for a change…sure, see you on Friday."

He switched the mobile phone off and dropped it down into the pocket of his jeans – then looked at the angelic face staring up at him. With each passing day Andrew found himself surprised and amazed at how much his six-year-old daughter Cassie was beginning to resemble his wife. Delicate features framed by soft curls of hair that were becoming darker every day, she was almost a carbon copy of Leah – and she seemed to have inherited her mother's fearless attitude as well. Scott – her twin brother – was a different story entirely. He is definitely his father's son, Andrew thought as he knelt down and scooped Cassie up in his arms.

"Mommy said you'd read us a bed time story." Cassie said as Andrew carried her up the stairs.

"Really?" He replied. "Which one would you like me to tell you?" He asked as they reached the landing and walked into the bedroom next to the one belonging to him and his wife. As he opened the door he could see Shaun sitting in his bed across from his sister's, his head buried in a book about dinosaurs.

"The one about how you met Mommy." Cassie said as Andrew placed her on her bed. In the blink of an eye she had scurried up to the top of the bed and pulled the pink sheet up around her. Andrew sat down on the edge of Scott's bed and carefully plucked the book from his son's hands.

"Okay big guy, that's enough about dinosaurs for one night," He said. "You'll have nightmares otherwise." Scott sulked for a moment before Andrew continued. "Right then, so there was once a beautiful princess who lived in a large castle in a far away land. One day, a young knight rode up to the castle on a large white unicorn…"

****

Glancing down at the watch on her wrist, Leah Hargreaves was sitting at the dining room table finalising her report on the government-issued laptop knowing that time was pressing. Her fingers danced across the keys, her eyes ignoring the characters that appeared on the screen as she tried to draw her thoughts out of her head and get them down on paper.

The glass of wine was placed on the table – just at the edge of her peripheral vision. A small smile flickered across her lips.

"Are you trying to distract me?" She said. Andrew mumbled.

"Oh no, if I was trying to distract you I'd have just walked into the room naked," He replied. "I'm simply offering you a drink."

"Thanks." Leah said and then threw her hands up in the air. Her frustration was evident as Andrew leaned over her shoulder and looked at the screen, his eyes scanning her work.

"You need to change that last paragraph – it just doesn't flow correctly." His hands reached around Leah's shoulders and started to flow over the keyboard. In a matter of two minutes he had retyped her final closing paragraph and restructured it. Leah's jaw dropped.

"How do you do it? How do you just take something and re-write it without really understanding it and make it so bloody good like that?" She said as Andrew's hands retreated – although only as far as her shoulders. The sensation of his fingers rubbing at her knotted muscles prompted a low moan from her lips.

"It's just my natural ability to produce bullshit coming to the fore," He jokingly replied. "I could have a look through the rest of it for you if you like?"

"No…no," Leah answered, her voice becoming dreamy as she began to give in the signals her body was sending her brain. "Because they'll realise that my husband – the author – has re-written it for me and I'll get into trouble." Leah knew that she was in danger of getting sidetracked. "Did you speak to Diana?"

"Yup – she's coming for dinner on Friday night so I'll make reservations at Gepetto's if you like." Andrew answered. Leah's mouth opened with a follow on question that he quickly answered for her. "Mom will take the kids for the night and we can pick them up on Saturday morning once we've been to Sainsburys." Closing her mouth and replacing it with a smile, Leah leaned her head back into Andrew's chest.

"Are the kids in bed?"

"All tucked up and sound asleep," Andrew replied. "Fancy getting drunk and fooling around?"

"Mmm…I need to finish this…maybe…did you read them a story?"

"Indeed I did cupcake – Cassie wanted the "how I met your mother" story again." Leah's eyes closed as she could feel her body relaxing.

"You know that when they are older they're going to read your books and see through all the fiction and figure out how we really met don't you?"

"I hope so, otherwise we'll have raised a couple of idiots," Andrew laughed. "But for tonight it was the Princess in the castle and the Knight on the Unicorn."

"I like that one," Leah said. "You should write that one for a children's book…" Andrew's fingers became more insistent. "Mmm…Andy…okay, that's it," She grabbed her glass of wine and managed to get up from the table. "We're having sex right now, otherwise I'll never get my work done…"

****

The Surfer's Paradise Bar

Australia

10 years ago

Tonight she had just one aim in mind – she had decided to get drunk. As Leah Bennett found herself sitting in the only bar she had found that sold genuine English cider, she tried to unwind and clear her mind of the events of the last 48 hours.

Sitting at the end of the bar, away from the rest of the patrons, she was hoping to have a quiet and peaceful evening. However, that wasn't to be the case.

Several of the customers – obviously regulars – had entered into some sort of drinking contest surrounding the defeat of the Australian cricket team in the recent Ashes series. Instead of drowning their sorrows as Leah had expected them to, they were engaging in a raucous chorus of songs intending to upset any foreign interlopers to their natural habitat.

"Gentlemen, please!" the figure of a young man appeared behind the bar with his hands raised. "If you don't keep it down then you'll wake the baby." His warning seemed to be good-natured as it was accompanied by some jeering from the locals – then he walked over to where Leah was sitting. "Evening. What can I get you?"

"A pint of cider." Leah replied, realising that the host was English like her.

"One pint of stomach rotting liquid acid coming straight up." He quipped as he grabbed a glass from underneath the counter and began pouring it from the tap. "On your own?"

"Yup." Leah replied, slightly hesitant. She was aware of the fact that lone tourists had a tendency to disappear around some parts of this country, however she was confident she could take care of herself in that sort of situation.

"Well be careful," The barman said as he handed her the glass. "I might fire up the karaoke machine in a bit and get you to sing." Leah smiled and reached into her bag for her money. "Forget it," he pointed to a sign above the bar that read Englishmen drink for free. "House rules."

"Thanks." Leah was genuinely impressed. "I'm Leah."

"Andrew." He said, shaking her hand and noticing her firm grip. "So, business or pleasure?"

"What?"

"Why are you in Australia? Business or pleasure?" Andrew repeated himself.

"Oh, business." Leah replied. "Is…this your bar?" She said, suddenly noticing that there were no other members of staff present.

"No, it belongs to my cousin Shaun – he broke his leg last week so I said I'd come out and look after it for him while he's in hospital," Andrew said, pausing to cast his eye across at the group of Australian cricket fans as a new song began. "Plus someone needs to watch over the baby."

"Oh, right," Leah took a drink from the glass. "Oh god that's good!" She exclaimed.

"It should be – it's imported from home. Oddly enough the locals can't stand the stuff." Andrew added. He noticed something sticking out of Leah's bag. "Oh, I see you read horror books."

"What? Oh, yeah." She said, picking the book up out of her bag. Staring at the title – The Watcher Out Of Time – she wondered where the conversation was heading. "I started reading these about two years ago, sort of became hooked on them ever since – sort of my guilty little secret pleasure if you like."

"Want to know how it ends?" Andrew asked. Leah looked horrified. "Not that book specifically – the series I mean."

"How could you know that?" She asked. Andrew turned the book over and placed it back in her hands so that she was looking at the back of it. Leah then realised that the black and white photograph matched the face of the man standing behind the bar. "Jesus – you wrote this?"

"And the other four before it, plus – in theory – the five after it."

"Okay…" Leah's curiosity was piqued. "How does it all end?"

"I'm not telling you now, you won't buy the others in the series." Andrew said with a smile on his face. "If I tell you then how do I know you won't sell your story to the newspapers? I have to consider my future book sales…" he was laughing by this point. "Okay, well, the Englishman saves the Severn Valley when the Nuclear Reactor goes into meltdown courtesy of the Shan, but the Messenger saves him at the last minute, dumping him into the Dreamlands."

"Seriously?" Leah said. "That's it?"

"That's it? That's it?" Andrew acted as if he had been mortally wounded. "I'm condensing it tremendously you know, there's another five books before you get to that point…not that I've written them yet." There was another chorus of songs erupting from the group of Australians at the far end of the bar. "Hang on, I'll be back in a minute…" Leah watched him pour another round of drinks for the customers, engage in some gentle ribbing of their cricket team's failings and then he returned to the end of the bar she was sitting at.

"So," Leah asked as she finished her drink. "What's so important about not waking the baby?"

****

Andrew had led Leah around the back of the bar, guiding her through the rear of the building and to a slightly ramshackle construction attached to the outside. Leah could see that just behind the bar there was a narrow creek – and that's when she saw it.

"I give you Gus," Andrew said. "Otherwise known as The Baby." Leah found herself staring at an eight-foot long freshwater crocodile that slothfully moved around. She heard the sound of a fridge door being opened, then watched as Andrew threw a raw chicken at the creature below them. She watched the savage beauty as Gus tore into the flesh of the snack presented to him and almost seemed to snort something back at Andrew. "You're welcome."

"That's a crocodile." Leah stated. Andrew nodded.

"Shaun reckons it's like a cat – once you start feeding them they get lazy – they figure why hunt when this stupid human will feed me?" He said. "Fantastic way to keep the patrons in the bar in line."

"Yeah," Leah mused. "Mess up my bar and I feed you to the croc out back."

"Indeed." Andrew said. "You're staying at the Ramada aren't you?" Leah looked at him, raising an eyebrow quizzically. "You've got a tag on your bag from there."

"Oh, right…" she realised he was right and silently berated herself for leaving something like that so visible.

"Do you want to meet up for a drink once I close the bar?"

****

By the time they had gotten back to her room, Leah had already made the first move, kissing Andrew in the lift. As he was staying in the same hotel – and it was less than a five-minute walk from The Surfer's Paradise – it had been easy for them to meet up.

As Leah moved Andrew towards the bed, she pushed him backwards. He landed on the soft mattress and laughed. She looked at him with a barely concealed passion burning in her eyes as she peeled her t-shirt off. As she threw it to the floor, she heard Andrew gasp.

"Sweet bejeezus – what happened to you?" Leah glanced at her reflection in the mirror – and saw the bruises and welts across her body. She looked back at Andrew.

"Okay, here's the thing," She said, climbing on top of him as he lay on the bed. "When I said I was here on business, I didn't tell you the whole story," she paused as she looked into his eyes, her mind screaming at her to give him the cover story, but something else inside her wanted to be honest with him. "I'm a field operative for the secret service of the British Government – I got the bruises doing my job."

"Seriously?" Andrew's eyes were wide open.

"Yeah, seriously," Leah kissed him, feeling the smile on his lips. "Now shut up and fuck me."

****

48 hours ago

As she lay in the long grass outside the remote building, clothed in a black form-fitting body suit and rubber soled boots, Leah's mind rolled back over her briefing in a cramped office back in London a month ago.

"That is one Natalia Kukulska," the image on the screen was of a severe looking woman with blonde hair and angular features. She was statuesque, easily standing the same height as the other men gathered around her. All of them were dressed in military fatigues. "Born in Siberia in 1967, she was a member of an elite Russian anti-terrorism unit until the wall came down, then she disappeared off the radar." The image on the screen changed – there were a series of photos showing Natalia pictured with a variety of other men, although one of them appeared in the photos more often than others.

"Until she reappeared in Afghanistan about two years back with this group who call themselves Al-Khayal or The Shadow," more images flashed up of Natalia with a wiry, nervous looking middle-eastern man. "This is Karim Sallah, who appears to be quite high up within the internal structure of Al-Khayal. Natalia seems to have hooked up with him – either as business partners or she's provided logistical support to the organisation as a whole." Leah nodded.

"These are your primary targets – in addition, we need you to recover whatever intelligence you can on the organisation as a whole."

"Are they connected to the Embassy bombing back in March?" Leah asked. There was a pause before the voice responded.

"We believe so, however we have no conclusive proof of that." Another pause. "Both targets have been reported as entering Australia within the last week – however we wish to resolve the matter without involving any outside agencies at this time." Great – that means no backup from the locals, Leah thought to herself.

"When do I leave?" Leah asked.

For the last two weeks Leah had been working in the remote mansion as a cleaning maid, getting to know the layout of the building and just how many people were permanently located in there. Fortunately, no one in the group had been able to bring any weapons with them into the country – a covert check with the Australian customs database had confirmed this – although it didn't remove the fact that they could have since acquired weapons through a thriving criminal underclass in the larger east coast cities.

She had also made a particularly startling discovery – Natalia and Karim seemed to be in some sort of relationship. A particularly domineering relationship from Natalia's perspective, Leah thought, but a relationship none the less. Taking this factor into account, Leah had taken every opportunity possible to smile at Karim whenever she saw him with Natalia – hopeful of making her target's violent jealous streak take over and maybe remove one target before she even got involved.

Looking down at her watch she knew that there was to be a change over in the nominal security that roamed around the perimeter of the building. Despite the fact that Leah had also been hampered by the embargo on bringing weapons into the country, she had been able to improvise something for the first part of her plan.

She lifted the heavy crossbow up to her shoulder and loaded the bolt. One morning spent in a local sporting goods store on the outskirts of Melbourne had yielded dividends for her, although she was only able to purchase three bolts for it without having to register the weapon as anything more than a piece of sporting equipment. It would prove to be too cumbersome once she was inside the property, but for now it was perfect for her purpose.

Enclosed in the darkness, she took aim at the first guard as he walked around the edge of the building. The sight on the top of the crossbow was just good enough with the lights in the grounds of the building to give her some accuracy with her shot. She tensed her body for the recoil and pulled the trigger – the carbon fibre bolt was sent spinning silently through the air. Leah allowed herself a small grin of satisfaction as she saw the guard fall to the floor in a heap.

Getting to her feet, she broke out of the long grass and scurried across to him. Grabbing his feet she dragged him back into the grass. Turning to make her way to the building Leah heard the sound of something rustling behind her. Looking back over her shoulder she realised that the crossbow bolt had struck her target in throat and rather than killing him, it had performed a sort of emergency tracheotomy.

She shook her head. What are the chances of that? Leah wondered as she turned around and walked back to the guard. He was trying to crawl in a sort of circle back towards the building. Leah found herself following behind him at a snails pace, shaking her head. Kneeling down and straddling him, Leah grasped his chin with one hand and gripped the hair at the back of his head with another before twisted sharply to the right. His neck snapped and his body convulsed a few times before Leah left him, certain he was dead.

Advancing towards the building again, she realised that she'd lost some time in having to deal with the guard and his replacement was already beginning his patrol route. Leah realised that at some point he would become aware that he hadn't passed the man he would have been relieving. Picking her way through the bush that surrounded the property, Leah soon picked up her target.

Leah snuck up behind the guard, her rubber soled boots enabling her to walk right up to him and give him a spank on the butt. As he whirled around in surprise, she grabbed the sides of his head. Although her wrists were slender, their appearance belied the strength within them. Leah calmly snapped his neck with one fluid twisting motion, and then released the corpse to fall to the ground. Pushing the body up against the side of the wall where it wouldn't be noticed until it was hopefully too late, Leah backtracked to the entrance of the property.

Keeping to the shadows, Leah used her key to enter the house and found herself skulking on the ground floor. From memory, she knew that there was at least one more member of Natalia & Karim's personal security detail on the ground floor, in the study that doubled up as a rest room for the guards. There were always three on duty at any one time – with the others lounging around on the first floor or in the local bars. Have taken out two of them already, Leah was confident she would find the third where she expected him to be.