How To Learn Computers Via Sex Pt. 2

Before you read this and possibly take offense, please keep in mind that this is meant to be funny. So chill out!

Well, people really liked the first entry in this series. In fact, it's been years since I've gotten so much feedback so fast. With that much encouragement, I figured I'd write another one.

Just like before, I'll list out some computer terms and explain to you what they mean. Then, to help you grasp them even better, I'll explain them again using sexual examples.

So, we'll see if lightning strikes twice!

First Person Shooter:

In computer terms:

A first person shooter is a type of computer game in which the player plays the game and sees the world through the eyes of the character. As the name implies, the point of these games is to use what ever weaponry is provided to shot and kill your opponent. Examples are games like Doom or to some degree Halo.

In sexual terms:

First person shooters are like Point of View porn movies. In P.O.V porn, the person with the camera is actively involved in the action rather then simply filming a scene. This makes it so if a woman gives a man a blow job on the screen, the viewer might feel like she's giving him head.

The two biggest differences between POV porn and First Person shooters are:

1) In POV porn you don't get a wide array of "guns." You've only got what you started with.

and

2) In FPS, you don't have to rest for a few minutes after shooting off a round before you can get ready to shoot off again.

Linux Distributions:

In computer terms:

Linux is an operating system. Since it is open source, it's free to anyone who wants. For that same reason, we see lots of variants on it. I don't have time or space to list even a fraction of the different distributions. The key idea though is that while they all share the same essence, they are all also different from one another.

In sexual terms:

In the sexual world, Linux distributions are like fetishes, and not just because most Linux users seem odd or abnormal to those who don't indulge in the kinky stuff. They have a very powerful connection to their fetish and while they are capable of having more socially normal forms of sex, they usually choose not to if given the choice.

Linux and sex also share another feature. Fetishes, while all uniquely different from each other, are all in the end somehow connected to sex in one way or another.

Some people like to get tied up, some people like to get whipped, some like to get peed on, and some get hard when they install the latest version of the Linux kernel.

It takes all kinds!

Touch pads:

In computer terms:

A touch pad is often found on laptops and is used as a replacement for a mouse. To use a touch pad, you simply run your finger around on the pad and the cursor on the screen will mimic your movements.

Many people don't like touch pads because they are difficult to get used to and harder to use then a mouse.

In sexual terms:

A touch pad is like a pussy. In both cases, not everyone has one, some refuse to use them all together, and others want to use them constantly. Both also require the user to rub their fingers on it to get it to respond. They also share the same complaints: Many users find that it takes lots of practice to get to the point where your fingering actually has the desired result rather then just producing frustration.

Owners manual:

In computer terms:

The owner's manual for a computer is just like the owners manual for a car. It's usually some kind of book or booklet that helps to explain all the bells and whistles of the new purchase. Just like a cars manual, very few people actually read a compute manual before using the computer.

In sexual terms:

An owner's manual is like the Karma Sutra. Only a select group of people actually study it and as soon as you learn something new from it you want to try it out. Most people though don't read it or wouldn't even understand it so they just wing it and hope that they don't fuck up so badly that they need to call for help.

Finally, in both cases, most people need to look at the diagrams before, during, and after reading the text. Or if they don't have to, they just look anyway.

Hopefully, you learned something from these comparisons. If not, hopefully, you at least thought that they were funny.

No matter what, I'd like to give some advice: Read your owner's manual. You might find out that you can with some extras features you never knew about!