How to Roleplay

I have been married for... lots longer than most of you readers have been alive, I would bet. So how does one keep the passion alive and the sex life interesting after so many years? One technique is role playing.

Even the most dedicated and committed couple will get bored with each other after a number of years. In the age of Ashley Madison and "We have an arrangement" web sites it is increasingly easy to stray. Role playing allows you to stray, to have an affair, to taste some forbidden fruit all without straying.

For the people who visit this site, in particular, role playing should come almost as second nature. You are here because you are literate and have a very active imagination. So let's put those qualities to work!

Treat role playing in the same manner a playwright would set up scenes for improvisational theatre. Script out the scene, with as much detail as you think you need. If there are particular items that would enhance the experience for one or the other or both, include them. If there are limitations then agree to those up front. Role playing is a license to play, not a license to make your partner uncomfortable or hurt them. It is up to everyone to know what those limits are. Even if you have been together for a long time, people change and you can be surprised.

This brings us to the most important thing to remember about role playing. It is a ROLE you are PLAYING. You are not you and your partner is not your partner. You are characters in a play. If someone talks about how they traveled back in time and seduced Barbara Eden out of her "I Dream of Jeannie" costume, or screwed Shirley McLaine in a past life, they should not get accused of infidelity. That is part of the game.

Set the scene properly. Just as a play needs a good set to be enjoyable, so does your role play. This does not mean you should go out and rent a doctor's office or buy examination tables to role play finding a cure for priapism (your erection lasts for more than 4 hours). Set up, say a comfortable doctor's waiting room in a room in your house.

Characters require costumes but, again, this does not require you to go over the top or spend lots of money. You can probably find everything you need in your closet or with a quick trip to a Good Will or used clothing store.

I would suggest you make your role play costumes somewhat but not completely over the top. For example, if a woman is playing a cop simply get some inexpensive handcuffs on line or at your local store, then wear dark pants and a man cut shirt over the sexiest underwear you own. Playing a maid? Don't but some cheaply made and over-priced costume. You can pull this off with a dark skirt, perhaps rolled up a bit to show more leg, thigh high hose and high heels.

Accessories help create the character so use them. This is probably easier for the ladies then the guys out there, so here are some lists guys. You can try ties, bandanas, jackets, suits, hats, tool belts, rope, makeup from a costume store, old shirts (start cuts in them and then rip them off). Ladies, I suspect you already know how to accessorize but try adding stuff your guy keeps around. Maybe you can be the mechanic who gives the male customer a frequent repair bonus, so use your husband's greasy work shirt.

Props and toys can be useful as well. Professor Husband is researching the most efficient ways to bring women to orgasm so he has a variety of vibrators to experiment with, for example. You have the props in your refrigerator! Conduct a marketing survey to ascertain what tastes best when licked off various areas of the human body. Chocolate? Whipped cream? Butterscotch sauce? Tequila sipped from a woman's navel?

Make the role play last. A good movie is two hour long, so make your role play last as long. It gets lots more exciting than a 20 minute (or less) quickie before you drift off to sleep. The planning and getting things together adds to the excitement, so enjoy this part too.

Every actor needs to get into the role. In this case we are getting into fantasy roles so look like a fantasy version of your character. Guys: even though most business people, doctors, lawyers and professionals do not wear suits to the office anymore, you should wear a suit if you are playing this role (unless specifically requested otherwise). If the plan is for you to play a pirate or other "evil" guy, plan it out (e.g. have two days beard growth)

To the ladies I give similar advice. Coco Channel once advised that you should finish dressing, look in the mirror and take one accessory off. Here you should put another one on. I strongly suggest you go heavy on the makeup and use it far more proactively then you expect your character to use it.

Also this is not a time for elegance, understatement or subtlety. Role playing is to "Hamlet" what Penthouse Forum is to Shakespeare, so dress and act appropriately.

Make this as big or as small a production as you like. You can turn your entire house into a strip club, with downstairs as the main room and upstairs as the VIP room or champagne room. Stop by your local hardware store and pick up cheap spotlights to light the stage and move furniture around to create the bar and stage areas. You can make it small, where you use your dining room to get special service from your maid or butler, no decor changes required. You can even do this outside the home (though that may make your partner uncomfortable). You might, say, meet your spouse playing a "colleague from work" for drinks and get carried away, ending up back at "her place" for fun.

So let your imagination run free, pick up a few cheap items to enhance the experience and most of all, have fun!