Huginn's Yule

"All envied Northern Wei," I continued. "Numberless as the grains of sand on a beach were her soldiers, fierce and unrelenting were her generals, noble men such as my father, Prince Yuan Cheng, but surrounded and beset we were by enemies without number. The Rouran ever attacked from the north, the Southern Qi from the south, and with the Eastern Qi joining the fight, pressed were we on all sides, but our armies were ever victorious, ever defeating those who attacked us, but the cost, the cost was ruinous in wealth and in men.

Now I myself, I was the daughter of a Prince who was related by blood to the Emperor, the great Daowu, for all our Emperors were named Daowu, after the great ruler who founded Northern Wei, and my father was a great general, renowned for his skills and his victories. I grew up in the capital city of Luoyang, a city vast beyond imagination, a city to which Miklagard was as we are to Miklagard, for many were her people and her palaces. I was daughter of a Prince with vast estates and wealth, but pampered and soft I was not, for my father was a great General and I was of the ruling clan of the Xianbei.

The Xianbei were we who founded and ruled Northern Wei, and as a Princess of the Xianbei, and of the ruling clan, the Tuoba, I was expected to know the way of the Sword and of the Bow, as well as the arts of a woman, as were many of our woman, for I was bought up on the tale of the legendary Hua Mulan, who was a woman of our people who led an army of our soldiers against invaders from the North and defeated them, and in my youth I dreamed of being such a woman-warrior and General as the fabled Mulan, and perhaps it might have been, had I remained in Wei, for was not my Father the greatest General of Northern Wei, and did not every one of my brothers themselves command Armies?

Trained I was from early youth to fight with the sword, both on foot and from horse, as well as with the bow, and my father sent me to the great Shaolin Temple to study under the masters. Learned I there the way of the sword, the bow, the spear, and the horse, as well as the arts of calligraphy, of medicine, and of the other lesser skills necessary for a woman, and beautiful was I in my youth, and in this I need not be modest, for did not King Harald Wolfs-Fang love me from the moment we met, and stranger though I was to the folk, did he not take me as his wife on that night of our meeting, and have I not remained his wife above all others unto his death?"

"It is so, Lady," the older house-carls said, for they had not been there, but some had fathers or older brothers who had, and the tale had been passed on, and indeed, I was now three score years in age, but still my skin was youthful and my hair was jet black and without any grey, long and silky, and I could say without overstating my appearance, that still I was beautiful, and while my skill with the sword and the bow was perhaps not as it was when I was twenty, still, I had separated Hengist's head from his shoulders in a move that would have drawn an approving nod from my old Masters at the Shaolin Temple.

"It is so," I said. "Beautiful was I, but not without compare, for beautiful were the women of Northern Wei, and more beautiful still were the wives and daughters of the Tuoba Clan, of which I was but one daughter among many, but my father was the General, Prince Yuan Cheng, and I was a cousin of the Emperor himself, and so I was well-known amongst those whose knowledge mattered, and my beauty was spoken highly of, and always I knew my destiny, which was to be married to a man of rank or to a foreign ruler with whom the Emperor would wish to seal an alliance, and as a young and dutiful daughter of Wei, I expected this, and I knew my duty, for did not my Father and my Brother's serve the Emperor, always at risk of their lives.

As a daughter of Wei, I knew I could do no less.

Thus, when a messenger and escort sent by my father arrived at the Shaolin Temple, summoning me to my father's presence in Luoyang, I obeyed as a dutiful daughter should, ordering my single maidservant, to pack such minimal possessions as I was permitted at the Shaolin Temple, bidding farewell to my Masters, to the Prior of the Temple and to my friends amongst my fellow students, for I knew not if I would return, and, indeed, I would never do so, and those friends to whom I promised to write would never receive those letters. They would never know my fate, as I knew not theirs, and I could only hope for them, that they had survived the Fall of Northern Wei in those terrible last days.

But my father had summoned me, and I knew not why I was summoned, but for my father to send a messenger and an escort, it must needs be more than a simple desire to see his only daughter. The land of my Fathers, Northern Wei, was surrounded by enemies, and we were under constant attack. Rare it was for my father to be present in Luoyang, rarer still for him to summon me, for more commonly, he paid me fleeting visits at the Shaolin Temple, and thus I made all haste, pressing my escort hard as we rode the great highway leading in to the City, and I was both glad, and curious, and a little afraid, for I was but fifteen years of age, and I knew not what was wanted of me.

"The Emperor himself has summoned us to his presence, daughter," my father said, and he had not waited for me to be brought to him. He strode into the courtyard, and he was there as I dismounted, a servant taking the reins of my mount and I was saddle-sore and weary, coated with the dust of the road. "Come as you are, mount once more, for we must make haste."

I came as I was, making haste as my father bid me, for in this time of war and constant battle, one did not question orders, especially when one was a mere girl of fifteen, the daughter of a famous General, and summoned into the presence of the Emperor himself.

The Emperor I had met before, half a dozen times in my father's palace, when he had been sitting with my father poring over the maps for a new campaign against the Southern Qi, and I had brought tea for them myself, for even trusted servants were not trusted by my father when he sat thus with the Emperor, for anyone could be suborned, but a daughter was blood, and I was a distant cousin of the Emperor himself.

Thus, I was not unduly terrified at the thought of once more meeting the Emperor, because had I not once but a number of times knelt before him and served him tea, and he had smiled and thanked me, and even taken my hand in his, and indeed, he smiled as my father and I were escorted into his presence.

"Princess Yuan Fan, you are more beautiful than I had remembered," the Emperor smiled upon me as I knelt by my father's side before him, dusty and stinking of the road, for I was of the true Xianbei and I rode a horse, I was not carried in a cart or a palanquin as a woman of the Han.

"Sire, I thank you," I murmured, bowing low, my forehead touching the marble tiles.

"We will ignore the formalities, there is no time," the Emperor said. "Rise, daughter of Wei, come with your father and I, and we will drink tea together this once, and it is I who will pour tea, for there is something I must ask of you," the Emperor said, and he drew me with him.

I walked between the Emperor and my father from the throne room and into a secluded tea room overlooking a tranquil courtyard, where a servant brought tea, upon which the Emperor did me great honor by filling my cup and my father's cup and his own with his own hands. I sipped on my tea at the Emperor's urging, and there would be a reason for my presence, and it dawned on me that such a reason was obvious for one of my station and sex.

I was to be used as a bargaining chip.

"There is no time, Sire," my father said, after no more than a cursory sip of his tea, and now he turned to me. "Beloved daughter, we who serve the Emperor and Northern Wei, we know our duty. As a son of Wei, mine is to fight and die for our land, holding her safe against all enemies, and as a Daughter of Wei..."

"Father," I said, interrupting him for the first and the last time in my life, placing my hand on his. "I know my duty. Who am I to marry?"

"An embassy from the Eastern Rouran has requested a bride for the Khan of the Western Rouran, far beyond the Great Western Mountains," the great Emperor Daowu himself spoke to me, but he was speaking as much to my father as to me, for my father was a great General, renowned for his generalship, and his armies had held our enemies at bay for twenty years. Feared he was, but also loyal to the death to our Emperor, as was I, and as were my brothers, who faced death daily in the service of the Emperor, for they too commanded armies of soldiers along our borders, and I was my father's daughter, and not to be given away lightly.

Now my father spoke, and his words were to me. "Fan, we must appease the Eastern Rouran in whatever manner we can, for the Southern Qi are preparing new armies to attack us, as are the Eastern Qi, and we can fight on two fronts, but not on three. Appease the Rouran and hold them at bay for another year we must, and they have asked for your hand in marriage to their Western Khan, as part of their price for remaining neutral."

The Emperor Daowu looked at me across the tea stand as I knelt beside my Father, and there were tears in his eyes. "Beloved cousin, and Daughter of Wei, I must ask this of you, as I ask your father and your brothers to face death leading my armies. Renowned is the beauty of the Princess Yuan Fan, the daughter of the Prince Yuan Cheng, and the Khan of the Eastern Rouran himself has asked for your hand in marriage for his brother, the Khan of the Western Rouran, in respect for your father's abilities in battle as well as for your beauty. They are warriors, the Rouran, and they respect a warrior and so they have asked for you specifically, Princess, as your father's daughter. I wouldst that I did not have to ask this of you, but Wei demands its son's serve, and so too must our daughters serve in time of need, and indeed, our need is dire, or I would not ask this of you."

"It is my duty to serve Wei, Sire," I said, bowing my head, and even as a girl of fifteen, I was well aware of my duty. A daughter of a Prince does not marry at will, and I saw that my duty to Wei was clear. "May I ask when I am to leave."

But there were tears in my eyes, for I loved my father and my brothers with all my heart, and in my heart, I also knew that once I had left Wei, I would never return, for I knew of the Western Rouran, and to reach their lands was a year or more of riding on horseback, and that was by the direct route. I would never return, never see my father and my brothers again, never again worship the Buddha at the temple-caves of Longmen, never again study under my Masters at the Shaolin Temple, never would I have the opportunity to rise to fame as did Hua Mulan, a true daughter of Wei.

I would never see Wei again.

But at the least, I would have carried out my duty and helped defend Wei against her enemies, and if my marriage brought the Empire peace for even a year, I would have served Wei more effectively than the death of ten thousand of her soldiers could, and I at least would not be dead, and perhaps as one of the wives of the Khan of the Western Rouran, I could still serve Wei in some small way.

"You leave for Eastern Rouran tomorrow morning," my father said, and there were tears in his eyes as he spoke. "Returning with their embassy, and they depart in haste, for autumn is here, and they must return to their Khan with the outcome of their negotiations, or we will face war to the north in the Spring."

"I will go as you and my father ask of me, Sire," I said, again bowing low. "I can do no less for Wei." But still there were tears in my eyes.

"Thank you, Daughter of Wei," the Emperor said, doing me great honor by taking my hands in his. "An Emperor must rule for the good of all his people, and sometimes that necessitates actions and commands which one does not wish to make, but which one must."

"You do not need to explain, Sire," my father said. "You know my family serves you, every one of us."

"It is my duty to serve Wei, Sire," I said again, for what else was there to say.

In the end, whether I agreed or not, I would be dispatched to the Khan of the Western Rouran, for what was the value of one woman when balanced against the good of the Empire? I would do my duty, and I would not make this harder for my father than it already was, for I knew my father loved me, as I loved him, dearly.

"And if my marriage buys time for Wei, then I will happily marry." I smiled now. "And to marry a Khan of the Rouran is not an ill fate, Sire, for my children may rule in time, and I will do my best to influence their Khan in favor of Wei, in whatever manner I can."

"I can ask for no more, Lady Fan," the Emperor said. "You have my thanks, and the knowledge that you will have saved the lives of thousands of my soldiers so that they can be used against the Qi." And for him to use my given name and to thank me and acknowledge my value was as great an honor as I could hope for. "Now I must bid you farewell, Lady Fan. The arrangements had been made, an escort has been assigned and a dowry prepared such that you will be valued and respected. Go with my blessings and my thanks, Daughter of Wei."

I bowed before the Emperor, remaining there as he stood and left, only rising as my father rose, after the Emperor had departed.

"They asked for you by name, Fan," my father said. "Others were offered, but they would accept no other, and we need that year of peace with the Rouran above all else. All else was settled, but if they could not have you, they were prepared to walk away from the negotiations, and that we could not afford, for our armies are already stretched to the breaking point."

"I will do as is asked of me, Father," I said, as we walked through the long hallways of the Imperial Palace towards our waiting horses and escort, and now I knew why I had been summoned in such haste.

Rarely is a daughter of Wei dispatched in marriage at my age, and this I had not expected for another two to three years, for I was but a girl, but in the end, it was what I had always known my destiny would be, and I would not make this harder for my father than it already was. My father faced death in battle year after year, whilst all I faced was marriage to a stranger, and such in any case would have been my destiny.

"Thank you, Fan," my father said, as we rode through the streets together, side by side, our escort around and ahead and behind, clearing the street before us so that we rode as if on a highway, and my father rarely called me by my name. "It is hard for me to ask this of you, for I had hoped above all to see you married within Wei, but these are difficult and dangerous times."

"Do not regret, Father," I said, but again there were tears in my eyes, for this night would be my last with my Father, and my brothers were all in the south, leading men in the endless wars against the Southern Qi, and never would there be the opportunity to make my farewells to them.

"Fan," my father said, and he hesitated a little before his next words. "I do not regret this, for Wei is in dire straits. Our armies are shrinking, our enemies are growing in number and in confidence, and there are traitors and dissension within our ranks. You are safer out of Wei, for I am not a man well-loved by the Emperor's enemies, and those enemies grow in number by the day. I wish you at least to be saved, and I am sending a thousand of my picked men as your escort, and they are volunteers all, young men from our family estates, loyal to me to the death, and they will stay with you and take wives from the Rouran. This also I have negotiated as part of your dowry, and you are not to repeat this, but I fear for Wei."

"Father?" I said, and now I was afraid, but not for myself.

"Wei is weakening, Fan," my father said. "Men desert the ranks, they do not believe in our cause or our nation. Many fight only for their pay, and not out of loyalty and love and duty, as do I and your brothers. I do not believe Wei will stand for much longer. Another year, perhaps two or three and we will fall, and I would that when that happens, you are safely married beyond our borders, and thus when the Rouran asked for you, I concealed my happiness at this from everyone, including the Emperor. This I tell only to you, Fan, that you are not saddened by leaving your family behind. Your brothers and I serve, we are sworn to the Emperor's service, we will live and die with him, but you, Fan, I would see you escape our fate, to marry, bear children, to know happiness."

"Father?" I said, and now there were tears of sadness in my eyes, for I read my father's eyes and his face, and my father was a cold and calculating man, as a great General needs must be, but I saw that in this he had not been cold and calculating, but that he sought my survival should Wei fall, and if my father saw that Wei would fall, then I was sure in my heart that this was so, for was my father not the greatest General that Northern Wei had known in two, perhaps even three, generations.

"I love you, Fan, my daughter," my Father said, and I knew it was so. "And through you, our family bloodline will live on."

On that next morning, as he bade me farewell, he had handed me my grandfather's sword, the sword that my father had carried every day of his life, from the age of fifteen, that prized blade of Yamoto his father had passed on to him, and he bid me take that blade and carry it from now on.

When he gave me that sword, I knew he was certain that Northern Wei would fall, for that blade should have passed from my father to my oldest brother, but my brothers were with the armies in the south, and for my father to give me that precious heirloom meant that he did not expect any of my brothers to survive, and tears filled my eyes as I stood in the courtyard with my father in those sad moments of our last farewell, and never again would I lay eyes on my father, or my brothers, or on Wei.

For two months, we rode north with the embassy of the Eastern Rouran, and the pace was not slow, for the Rouran were as the Xianbei, born to the horse and the bow and the sword, and they wished to return home to their families before the winter fell, and my escort were a thousand picked men of my father's personal cavalry, born to the sword, the spear, the bow and the horse.

"Your father had this made for you, Princess Yuan," Captain Wang said, gesturing, and one of my maid-servants struggled to hold up a coat of mail armor. "It is the best that we make, Princess, and now that we are nearing the borderlands, you should wear this at all times, for in this northland, an attack may come at any moment."

"But these are the lands of Wei, and it is the lands of the Khan of the Rouran we ride into," I said, surprised. "We travel with an embassy of the Khan, and five hundred of the Khan's warriors, and our men number one thousand of the finest cavalry of Wei. Surely no-one will attack us."

Captain Wang laughed, but his laughter was grim. "We are on the edge of the desert, Princess. Here, there is no ruler, neither ourselves or the Khan of the Rouran. Every man is an enemy, and the bow and the sword are the only law. From now on, we must always be ready."

From that day forward, I wore my coat of chain mail, I wore my sword in its sheathe, my bow in its case attached to my saddle, and my arrows in my quiver at my back. Always.

The chill wind screamed down from the north, wailing and howling across the dunes, and there was a fine mist of sand that penetrated the cloth wound around my face, leaving only my eyes exposed. There was a road of sorts, and the markers were the skeletons of men, and camels, and horses, and we had been two weeks since the last oasis, and the water in the leather goatskins was brackish and foul, the flies and other insects relentless in their torment, and I had not known it would be like this.