I Am Jack's Life Ch. 06

Author's note and acknowledgements

This story has sat on my hard drive for four years now.

I wrote it, all twenty chapters and 95,000 words of it in eight days of a frenzied, near trance-like state, sitting on my couch with my wife's laptop. She would occasionally have to remind me to eat.

When the dust settled, and I looked up, I realized a couple of things: one, I had just written a fucking novel in a week, whoa. Two, it seemed to be pretty damn good, double whoa. And three, what the hell was I going to do with it?

I tried editing it, I even enlisted the help of a Lit-Editor, who was invaluable for early editing, and confirming it was in fact, pretty good, or readable at least. I spent several months then, editing, unashamedly forcing it on writer friends to read, regular friends to read, and total strangers on writer boards. Everyone had different opinions of course, as people do, but all of them seemed to think it was pretty good, and I should probably try to do something with it.

So I spent another year trying to sell it.

Well nothing happened.

And I can't blame them, agents and publishers. It's kind of a niche story, hard to market. It's got too much sex for a coming age story, too much teenage drama for adult fiction, and not a single word about vampires or bondage to make it work as erotic fiction.

So it's sat on my hard drive for four years. I'll occasionally open it up, tinker with a line, or try to figure out how to re-work it into something more marketable. I always end up wasting a weekend trying to figure out how to change it, without losing the essence of the thing which I, and several others, feel is, "pretty good."

So fuck it. Here you go Literotica. I just want people to read it. I want people to get to know Jack the way I did. Writing his life made me feel like I was a part of it. He's a pretty good guy, I wish I knew him in real life.

So NEXT, some disclaimers.

This is a coming of age story. Which means first it starts out when the characters are too young to have sex (on literotica.) So there's no sex for a couple chapters. I hope that's okay. Second, this is a novel length story, including the prologue and epilogue, there are twenty-one chapters in all. Some are longer than others, and there is not a sex scene in every one. (Though some have more than one.) More importantly, sex is a thing that happens, it's not written to be titillating, but rather just as events in Jack's life.

So there you go. It's a story with sex in it, not a story about sex. I think it's pretty good anyway.

If you have not read the first chapter, please click on my profile and pick the story up at the beginning, its better that way, trust me.

*****

The encounter with Tommy bothered me the rest of the afternoon, well into the evening really. I was thinking about the might-have-beens while driving Kimmy home for the evening. We'd been studying at my house, and it was a little after midnight. Class started at 7:15 am tomorrow, and I still had three chapters of physics to read before I went to bed.

"You okay?" she asked at about the half-way point.

"Hmm, just tired. Zoning out, sorry," I said.

"Must be," she grinned, "You just drove past the turn off to our spot."

'Our spot' was a quiet back road we'd found that was pretty good for making out in the car. It was pretty standard for me to stop there for a while when dropping her off.

"Sorry baby, I'm really tired, and I got a lot of work waiting for me still at home before I can go to bed," I said, which was mostly true.

"It's fine. You've been running around like a maniac all year. I don't know how you keep up with everything," she said and her voice was soft and tender. Her private voice for me; the one she used when we were alone. It made me feel special. Maybe I was imagining it, but it made me feel good she had something that was for me only, even if it was just a particular tone of voice.

Maybe that's what prompted me to speak up. Maybe I just needed someone to open up too.

Pause again.

I think we've already established that I was not very manly. I cried when upset, I squealed like a little kid, at least internally, when excited, and I thought about other people's feelings and stuff. With years of experience and hindsight of course I know that everyone does this stuff, even grown-ass men. But at eighteen, I still thought it was the 1940's. Men didn't cry, they didn't talk about their feelings, and they never confessed weakness unless they were outnumbered three to one and about to be dumpstered.

But I was tired. Beyond tired really. Mentally and physically spent. Kimmy was more than just a friend now. More even than just a really close friend with benefits. More even than a passing infatuation. We'd been together for almost six months, and having sex for three of those. She was my lover. I loved her. I was pretty sure she loved me. Though we'd never said it out loud.

I needed to talk to someone about Tommy. If I couldn't trust her, then I really did have no one.

We were almost to her house, when I asked her.

"Kim, do you think I'm a nerd?"

She looked back over at me, surprise on her face, "What? No of course not."

"But you used too right?" I pressed.

"Well, freshman year, yeah, I guess," she shrugged, "But I haven't for a long time."

I sighed, "When did you stop?"

She bit her lip, not in a sexy way, in a thoughtful way.

"I dunno, maybe a couple of months after you started hanging out with us," she said after a minute or so.

"So, when I started going to parties and dressing differently," I said.

She nodded, "Yeah probably. I mean at first, yeah I guess. I didn't know what to think. But once I got to know you, I liked you. You're funny, smart, and we know how I like smart." she grinned suggestively.

I shook my head, "If that was all, then you'd be all over Tommy Johnston."

"Who?"

I swallowed. Guilt. I was stabbed by guilt.

"Tommy Johnston, he's in our class, you had Junior World Events with him last year," I said. Everyone had to take the world events class, regardless of academic placement, there was no advanced version.

She furrowed her brow and thought about it.

"He's a couple inches shorter than me. Kind of shaggy brown hair, a little bit heavy set."

"Oh - my God! Yes, I know him. Ew, no way!" she laughed and punched my arm lightly on the arm. It was a flirtatious punch.

"Why not? He's funny, and just as smart, if not smarter than me," I continued.

She shook her head, "No way! He's gross. He smells funny too, like he doesn't shower enough. He's totally a creep too. He was like, stalking Mindy last year. Like, spying on her at her house and stuff. Her dad had to call the police."

I frowned, "I didn't know that."

Mindy was another cheerleader. She was very cute, a little ditsy, but nice enough I suppose - when she wasn't being a stuck up bitch. It had taken her a while to warm up to me. But this year I was one of the in-crowd. She'd been one of the girls that had come up and hugged me in line today. She hadn't even looked at Tommy.

Kimmy nodded, "Yeah it was a thing for a while. He gives me the creeps. The way he stares at people, like he's totally imagining you naked."

"You have any idea how much time I spent imagining you naked before we got together?" I said, half amused, half frustrated

She laughed, "That's different. I was showing off for you."

I frowned.

"You know we loved to tease you, right? It was all part of that. Plus after a while, when I started having a crush on you, I wanted you to be checking me out," she continued.

I sighed. I got the difference. I really did. But it was still not helping me.

"Anyway, no way. Gross. Even without the creepy staring thing. He's..." she started to say.

"A Nerd?" I offered

"Jack, what's this about? You aren't a nerd. You haven't been for a while now. You're different. You take care of yourself, you dress nice and act cool. You're relaxed and have tons of self-confidence."

Wait, was she talking about me? Self-confidence?

"I ran into Tommy today when I was getting our prom tickets,"

"So?"

"He used to be my best friend. In elementary school and middle school, fourth grade to freshman year really," I said with a heavy sigh. That was hard to admit. Truth be told, after her reaction to him it felt like I was exposing a dirty little secret. "When I started hanging out with you guys we sort of drifted apart."

"Thank God," she said.

"Kimmy! That was way rude," I said, maybe a little harshly.

"What? I'm serious, thank God. You're so much better than that, Jack. You're not a creepy stalker, you're not a chubby slob. You're cool, you're..." she grabbed my hand. I pulled it away. I was upset. Upset with her for being so judgmental. Upset with Tommy for being a creep and a racist.

Upset with myself for sacrificing his friendship to become friends with Beth and the girls.

"I am what I am, maybe that hasn't changed underneath," I said sullenly.

She looked at me fiercely and said, "You're wrong. You're mine. I love you."

Well, damn, now I really felt like shit. I knew I should respond to the last part. It was the first time either of us had said it out loud, but I was in no mindset to say it and mean it, so I kept quiet.

"Kimmy," I sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm just upset and confused."

She crawled over the seat and leaned to kiss me very softly, "And running yourself into the ground. Come in with me, Jack, okay? Don't drive off upset like this? Please?"

I sighed, I had a ton of reading to do still.

"Do you have anything due tomorrow morning that isn't done already?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Then you can skip my tutoring tomorrow and do your reading then, come in with me now please, okay?"

I sighed and turned off the car engine.

She kissed me again quickly and then slid out of the passenger side and got out. I got out of the car myself.

Technically, I wasn't supposed to stay after midnight on a school night, but it wouldn't be the first time Kimmy had snuck me into her room after curfew. We took off our shoes and crept through the dark house like cat burglars. She opened the door to her room and took my hand as she crept inside. She closed the door behind us and turned on her desk lamp.

"Sit," she said quietly and pushed me down on the bed.

I did.

She straddled my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Baby, I'm honestly too tired to make out," I said, surprising myself by both my honesty and it being true.

She just smiled and pressed her forehead against mine.

We just sat there like that for a while. Then she gently kissed each of my eye lids.

"Lie down," she said.

I sighed with fatigue and did.

She slid off my lap and lay next to me.

I lay there for a while, struggling not to go to sleep. After a couple of minutes I think, I started to get up, but she held me down with her arm.

"Kim, I have to drive home still," I said protesting.

"No you don't, go to sleep. You're too tired to drive. I'd freak out worrying about you until I saw you at school tomorrow. Plus you'd just go home and do your homework and not sleep," she whispered into my ear.

I flopped back on to her bed. "I can't sleep here, both of our parents will freak," I said.

"You think my mom doesn't know we're sleeping together already?" she asked teasingly.

I blushed, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah I know, I can't stay in here with you. I'll go sleep on the couch. But I'll tell my mom the truth that you were really tired and I didn't want to let you drive home. She'll be fine with it."

I sighed again. Frankly I was too tired to argue.

She kissed me again and I lost all will to fighter her on the issue. She slid down and took my shoes off and pushed my feet up onto the bed, then got back in and cuddled up next to me.

I put my arm around her and tried to relax. Tried to put Tommy out of my head, tried to push aside my guilt for slacking off on my reading; tried not to puzzle out what it was I was feeling. The problem was is I liked figuring things out, so giving up on a problem was not in my nature.

Sleep won though, after probably a very short time.

#

For the first time, I woke up in a girl's bed, rather than my own.

It was disorienting at first. It took me a good minute or two to remember where I was and what had happened. I was still completely dressed and laying in Kimmy's bed, she was not in her room, but the door was open. It was morning, I glanced at the clock, 6:30. Ugh. Class started in just forty five minutes.

I swung my feet out of bed and pushed myself up and into a standing position. I wobbled a little. Making my way to the bathroom right outside her room, I could hear her family out in the living room going through their normal routines. When I came out, Kimmy was coming out of her room. She was changed, showered, and ready to go. Her hair was still damp from her shower. It looked sexy.

"Morning sleepy, I was just coming to get you," she said, and gave me a quick peck.

"Why'd you let me sleep so late?" I asked rubbing my hand through my bed hawk. Luckily my hair was pretty short, but I still got terrible bed head. Formed a mohawk that stuck straight up. Or would have if I'd had more than a couple of inches.

She giggled, "I actually tried to wake you up a while ago, but you didn't notice. I guess a kiss doesn't always wake sleeping beauty," she grinned. I blushed.

"I gotta get ready," I said.

"Shower's right in there, you can use my brother's deodorant and stuff, he's off at boot camp still," she said. Her older brother was pretty cool, He'd joined the marines after dropping out of a couple of years of college.

I nodded and yawned once more and turned around and went back in the bathroom.

Taking a shower at your girlfriend's house, after spending the night in her bed, while her parents are just in the other room eating breakfast is a self-conscious experience. I didn't take very long. I had to use Kimmy's shampoo though, so I smelled a lot more flowery than I was used too. I put yesterday's clothes back on; they were pretty rumpled, but I didn't have a lot of choice.

I fixed my hair and came back out. It was 6:44, we had to go, we were going to barely make it to class on time at this point. As I came out of the hallway into the living room, I almost ran into Kimmy's mom.

It wasn't hard to figure out where Kimmy got her height from, her mother was probably an inch taller than me, and just as rail skinny as her daughter. She gave me a look that clearly disapproved of my presence.

"Uh... Hi, Mrs. Allison," I stammered.

"Good morning Jack, sleep okay?" With her tone I wasn't sure if she wanted me to have slept well or not.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. It got later than I realized and ended up dropping Kimmy off much later than I intended, she sort of insisted that I stay," I said putting on my best 'perfect student' voice. The one that said, "I'm a valedictorian, I'm completely trustworthy and totally not having wild sex with your daughter every chance I get."

She normally ate that voice up, and this time was no different. She humphed a little though, "Well it was pretty irresponsible of you to drive her home when you were that tired anyway, but Kimmy explained everything to me. I'd rather you stayed here than get in a wreck. You're always welcome here, Jack."

"Thank you Mrs. Allison." I said with relief.

She gave me another mom-frown and a little shake of her head.

Kimmy came up behind her with her bag and purse, "Ready?"

"Yeah let's go, we're going to almost be late as it is," I said.

Her mother frowned again, "Don't speed and get a ticket or in a car wreck just to get to school on time, I'd rather you were both tardy."

"Yes ma'am." I said and opened the door, "Thanks again for letting me stay over."

She just humphed again, "Have a good day at school you two."

"Thanks mom, bye daddy!" she called back into the house.

I couldn't help but wonder if her 'daddy' knew his daughter screamed like a wild cat the last time I'd fucked her in her room while they'd been out to dinner.

Oh God, I was going to hell.

We were half way down the street when I started to relax again.

She smirked at me, "My parents adore you, you know. My mom in particular loves you."

"Yeah well, that's before I slept over at your house," I said with a little chuckle.

She shook her head, "Nah, my mother knows that you and I are having sex. I told her."

"Kimmy! Jesus, now I can never look your mom in the eye again," I said with a gush of embarrassment and fear.

She just laughed, "I need her help getting my birth control pills, it's on her insurance. So I had to tell her. She just wants us to be careful."

I wiped my brow, "Please tell me your father doesn't know." I gulped. Kimmy's father was a large man. Everyone in her family was tall.

She giggled, "Well, I didn't tell him, but mom might have."

"Fuck," I said softly, imagining my doom.

"Oh relax, like I said, they love you. You're the perfect boyfriend. You call them Mister and Missus, you're a perfect student - the best student in our class in fact; you're responsible and you treat me right," she said. She was obviously enjoying this.

"No pressure or anything," I said, but I did start to relax a little.

Kimmy giggled at me again, "You're perfect the way you are. And I don't wanna hear any more of this nerd stuff okay? That's not who you are, not anymore," she said.

I sighed, "I'll try. Can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"Well, I've never seen you fail to do something you tried to do before, so that's just fine," she said with smug satisfaction.

When had the shift happened from me putting Kimmy and the other girls on pedestals, to her putting me on one?